Rampant Propaganda – 1

Another trail has gone cold. It’s been like this ever since Rampant stepped down from mayor. Maybe it started even before then, since that dame came out of nowhere. Disappeared into nowhere.

Even now, your gut is screaming at you: Quinn is involved.

You are Detective Detective, and you’ve had to give up on finding one Bright Glory. He was a thug. A nobody, really. But even a nobody knows somebody. He could have led you to others in his organization. You sigh and collapse into your couch, tossing your fedora on a lampshade.

You uncork a bottle of grape juice and look at your reflection in the glass. You swish it around, musing how the Holy Knights would ferment this stuff and declare it the blood of their god.

Gulping it down you pull at your tie and stare at the cork board in front of you. You’ve pinned pictures, newspaper clippings, and enchanted scripts into three distinct groups. The Purity Front. The Storm Gang. And the Orchid Family.

Bright Glory’s picture is grouped with the Purity Front. They have about as many pictures as the Orchid Family, many of their bigger members being public figures. You’ve got a lot less information about the Storm gang, being relatively new to the scene. It doesn’t matter.

The three of them are trouble.

Bribery, coercion, assault, murder, jaywalking, destruction of property, theft, arson…and more recently, scattered reports of Class B drugs. This isn’t some patron in Camelot, the Dwarven Range, or Seaside City.

Somehow, another player has entered the game. Hidden in the shadows.

This isn’t just guesswork. One: the gangs have been gathering forces to destroy each other but have since slowed down. A treaty? Not with such fundamental differences.

Two: the new Commissioner has been doubly careful inspecting cargo that comes in by airship, seaship, and train. You’ve been triply careful. The drugs aren’t coming in from these routes. There could have been a secret passage or a stockpile of drugs in the mines, but it’s been buzzing with activity since Prillia ‘discovered’ it.

Three: there are still territory disputes, but some places have been completely cleared of gang influence. The areas around schools, fire stations, and libraries are free of gang activity. You don’t think it’s a coincidence that a bomb hasn’t been sent to your office in weeks, either.

It’s conjecture. But you think there’s a fourth player in this whole mess, one that is setting terms and rules. Do they control them through magical means? With money? Or…your eyes trail to today’s newspaper.

Rampant Corruption’s newspaper.

Information is key. And as of late, Rampant’s investigative journalists have been everywhere. Famous actress seen holding hands with new music star, visiting senator found bribing volleyball officials, powerful local wizard revealed as skilled illusionist…It seems like Rampant has been more curious than you these days.

You pick up the newspaper and read the headline.

“YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHICH KNIGHT ORDER IS VISITING!”

It’s insidious how Rampant has changed the newspaper industry. Nothing is as it appears anymore. It could be the Lunar Knights, the rarely-seen Solar Knights, Order of the Steel Mountain, the Arcanoknights, or any of the smaller knight orders following the virtues of a specific hero. Of course, only one Order would have the funds and pull to recruit in a city so far from any Knight bases.

You buy a newspaper, cursing yourself for falling for the blatant tactic. As you thought, the Holy Knights are coming.

Today.

…Maybe your old foe will be conducting an interview? You can conduct one of your own.

Even with several bodies, you are a busy, busy lady. As Rumpelstiltskin, you’re a charming brothel owner that rubs elbows with the horniest folks in Nancy’s Tavern while managing the needs of a growing clientele and staff. As Quinn, demon lady extraordinaire, you manage the goods that come into Haven, design new weather patterns, learn more about your powers, and a whole bunch of horny stuff.

As Rampant Corruption, you’ve spent the last week smuggling a portal through Hacksonville in a wheel of cheese. It was either that or frozen blood. Or smegma.

Which, if you think about it, would be a type of cheese lust demons can enjoy…It’s not like you found alcohol that can affect your kind, even if you went through the effort to learn how to ferment alcohol.

Either way, as Rampant, you’re several degrees removed from the action. You spend most of your time leveraging Rampant’s former assets into your own new assets. The Hardy Boys publishing house was one. A more recent addition is the restaurant, an excuse to have a bunch of boxes and people come and go discreetly through the basement.

And to taste food. Not flavored milk or semen, but real, actual, mortal food. While managing the eatery isn’t nearly as fun as the brothel, your third body has gotten a bit…plump. Not that you mind. Rampant was skin and bones, surviving off spite and coffee.

Which is illegal, by the way. Class D stimulant. Sher’Khan has some, but he’s a wizard, so…

With the help of your three favorite imps, the secrets of Hacksonville unfolded before you. It’s how you get your best scoops: they follow people of interest and report back to you. Then, you send your curious journalists towards the next bit of juicy gossip with the inside info.

The most recent tip is one you need to risk seeing for yourself. Some knights from the Holy Order are coming for a recruitment campaign. You’re not sure why they’re coming to one of the furthest cities for this. You intend on finding out why, personally. As a bonus, you get to see if they can detect you’re possessing Rampant’s body.

It’s risky.

Lucky for you, someone leaked information about who was coming and when. When the train pulls into the station, you’re one of the many reporters in the crowd clamoring for the knight’s attention.

And oh boy is she pissed.

You first learned about Ena Valorum when you had Cloth hang around the new mayor’s office. She received a message to prepare for her arrival with the utmost secrecy. So of course, mayor Bail delegated some of the preparations to her aides. All eighteen of them. Honestly, it’s a wonder no one blabbed.

Doing some of your own research, the Holy Order has this thing for multiples of three. Each Knight is in charge of three Squires, every Blade has nine Knights, and the seven Masters have anywhere between twenty-seven and eighty-one Blades under their command. Yes, it breaks down towards the end, the books were vague on the subject.

Then again, it could be propaganda.

From what you’ve learned so far, Valorum is a Blade of the Holy Order. She’s come along with six Knights, who are looking to recruit Squires. They’ve already stopped by a couple of the closer cities, but they decided to come down here to fill out their roster of Squires.

As for Valorum herself, your snooping research hasn’t turned up much. She’s an elf with silver hair and stern blue eyes. You found a newspaper clipping in the library archives dated about twenty years ago, when she was still a Knight. She was actually one of the folks who helped clear the land of a Dire Gatorboar before Hacksonville was founded.

She has the same stone face tinged with mild disapproval.

Ena Valorum reminds you of a certain stubborn harpy knight. Stiff like a board and about half as pleasant. Especially when things don’t go according to plan. She scowls at the flood of reporters flashing their cameras and walks past them, her white cape fluttering majestically behind her. Her knights and their nervous squires-to-be follow her, almost drowning in the crowd of journalists. Thankfully, a far more charming knight stays behind.

“Attention everyone!” She claps her hands and smiles, the same way a teacher would gather a bunch of kids before naptime. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions…”

“Are you here just to recruit or do you plan on reinforcing the new mine?”

“Is the Holy Order going to do something about Ummyul the Mad rampaging in the southwest?”

“Is it true that some of the Blades are looking for suitors?”

Despite the knight’s calm demeanor, you can sense her annoyance build. As more people clamor for her attention, she snaps her fingers and a wave of holy magic washes over you. Your vision gets fuzzy around the edges, but you’re otherwise fine. The crowd stills and the knight smiles serenely.

You wonder how many of your children would be able to endure something a Knight could throw out so casually.

“You are going to raise your hands, and I’ll answer your questions. Okay?”

The army of reporters you lured here is more than just a smokescreen. They ask a lot of questions you’re not sure you would have conceived of. You learn that this group has travelled southward from Camelot, zigzagging between cities in the Centaur Plains and the Dwarven Range. Which explains the centaur and dwarf recruits.

You ask if they considered recruiting as far as the Goblin Coast, but the knight is a bit cagey in her response, mentioning that they’ve already come quite far. Thanks to your soulsight, you can confirm that they had no intention of recruiting goblins. At some point, recruits were a priority, but the mission has changed.

You suspect it has something to do with the demon raids that have occurred nearby. Your main body saw the battle and ordered them to smuggle a few of the demon bodies into Haven. April took the task while escorting the surviving goblins to Hacksonville.

They worry you.

Risking this body is okay, but they don’t have spares! You’re a bit jumpy after the battle. Almost losing any of your cute kids is too much!

You’re about to ask another question when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You nearly jump out of Rampant’s skin. A familiar, gray-toned elf is staring at you from under her fedora.

“Detective Detective.” You give your best smile. “How nice to see you again.”

Detective Detective looks you over, her sharp eyes drinking in every detail.

“The former mayor looks different, and not just because of the sunglasses. No, she’s glutted herself on her newfound wealth, switched from a conniving, emaciated revenant for a rounder, softer façade.”

Is she calling you fat?

“A trick to make people underestimate her, or a woman finally free to indulge without inhibitions? ‘I saw this morning’s paper.’ I say as I wave about the issue responsible for this crowd. ‘You and I should talk more; your investigative methods are reliable.’”

Detective Detective’s words draws attention towards you. Including that of a very interested knight.

“It’s all about listening to the right people.” You place your hand on her back and pull her towards a nearby café, all too aware of the knight’s gaze. “Let’s grab a drink.”

Cafes are weird. At some point, when coffee was still legal, these little coffee shops would have dotted every corner.

Instead, cafes are basically restaurants with more emphasis on beverages than food. Like on earth, they’re full of snooty hipsters. Well, it is a lot more common since everybody still uses typewriters.

Both of you take a seat and you offer to buy Detective Detective a drink. Of course, she refuses. Monologuing about the corrupt city the whole while. Is her deal a magic thing or is she just one of the many weirdos that the people of Avalon take for granted?

The conversation goes on as usual. Maybe a bit louder to hear each other over the click-clacking of typewriters. She asks a question, you give her a plausible answer. Sometimes she calls you out on it, like where you get your information from precisely. Other times, she pretends to accept your answers and tries to pull more details out of you. You’d be pretty scared of how clever she is if you weren’t absolutely sure she has nothing on you.

Which, thanks to her not-so-internal monologuing, is obvious. You don’t even bother reading her soul now, she’s an open book. You’re more focused on Cloth’s perspective of the knight being interviewed. She’s answering questions but her gaze seems to linger on the café you’re at more than anything.

The knight lets out an important tidbit: The Holy Knights are going to set up a series of tests to look for recruits. In a tournament format.

“The former mayor looks distracted. I admit my company is staler than one of those sandwiches at the window, but she’s reacted as if she heard something interesting. Has she been reading the knight’s lips for her next big scoop? Or is it a sort of magic? I get her attention by snapping my fingers. ‘Is there something you’d rather be doing right now?’”

Sharing senses with several imps is much harder in a mortal body. Only so much the fleshy brain can do. You shake your head and suck down the too-sweet tea.

“Yes, Detective. Not many people can devote as much time as I do to your questions.”

The investigator frowns somewhat and crosses her arms. She’s probably upset you aren’t devoting as much to your rivalry with her as she does. You got what you came for. Time to go before the knight asks questions.

“This was great, Detective. Though I think this café stinks—” The eyes of the ‘barista’ shaking mocktails widen and her lips tremble. “—Maybe I should invest in my own. Yes, I can see it now…overpriced sugary drinks made in every city.”

Detective Detective bristles as you get up to leave. Your belly gets stuck in the booth. She smirks, but you ignore her and shimmy out of there. So you’ve got a bit of squish. There’s no issue there.

…You should probably have June and July do a checkup. It’d suck to lose this body to a heart condition.