Chapter 3: The Soul Realm
Van slowly nodded. There wasn’t really anything else he could do after all. It was either risk going through the rituals or letting time take its toll and slowly drag him into inevitable insanity or worse. There really wasn’t a choice “I'm ready.”
Lorenzo nodded “good, now let's head back to the previous chamber.” he stated, getting up and already making his way towards the door. “We have no time to lose, the sooner we get through this, the better it will be for everyone.”
Van quickly followed as fast as he could, entering the chamber with the large magical circle until stopping alongside Lorenzo who was staring at the magic circle in front of him.
“This magic circle is a pentaract that we will use for your ritual. It's a very high-class piece of work. Something only the very wealthy or large institutions can afford.” Lorenzo began with excitement in his voice.
“Do you see those indentations around the circle? They are magic pillars, once they are raised they allow the mage to give a three-dimensional shape to the circle, allowing him even greater possibilities and control at the expense of power in order to do a complicated magical formula that will leave your mind a puddle if you tried to do them alone or without the proper preparation. Some formula can only be done with three-dimensional magic circles” he stated excitedly, slowly bringing Van into his pace, and making him forget about the ritual somewhat as he looked at where Lorenzo was pointing.
“Now , there is where you would normally be sitting,” Pointing at the center of the magic circle. “The great thing about this circle is that there are many other redundant magic circles. Both major and minor. That can be activated or left unactivated to allow the mage to mix and match and change the greater whole of the magic circle into whatever he desires” he was almost breathless as he began talking even further, acting almost like a child with a new toy. Before reigning himself in and taking a more serious tone.
“That circle in the center of the magic formula is where you will be sitting. But you will not just be sitting in the very center but on the edge, so that you're in the other circle that I have activated that will overlap and intersect with it halfway through. That extra circle is a modification of the normal soul test that most go through and the one you went through last time. That circle leads to those circles out at the edges you see here.” he said pointing to three circles, one in front of them and two on either side of the main magic circle.
“Your father will be sitting in that one,” he said pointing to the circle closest. “ and those two” he said now pointing to the other circles outside but connected to the main circle. “Those two help regulate the one your father will be sitting in and the one you will be sitting in. think of it as an upside-down triangle with a center that is connected and overlaps with the main magic circle you will be sitting in, and you will be sitting in the both of them at the same time.”
Pointing back at the magic circle closest to them “This will allow your father to astral project himself into your soul realm alongside you. This way he can monitor you and help you out, so you won't have to go it alone” he frowned “ but it can be dangerous for both involved even as it can make it safer, especially if the soul realm is unformed, which I suspect it is.” finishing quietly “Your father is taking a big risk to help you.”
“ A risk I am more than willing to take” his Alvaroz interjected from the side. Then turning to Van “ are you ready?”
“What do I have to do?” van asked, nerves flaring and body tense but forcing himself to go along with it anyway.
“Not much,” Lorenzo said “ all you have to do is sit where I told you to, then we can begin. Don’t worry too much, this is only a soul test and not the actual awakening, so the chances of things going wrong are close to nil. But you might still feel some discomfort.”
Van nodded, steeling himself he made his way towards the circle, and positioned himself until he was in the center of both formations. His father followed suit, taking up his position.
“Alright then, you two just sit there while I activate the circle, try to remain calm and relax, you’ll need to in order to make this go without a hitch.”
Van nervously wondered if he should have asked more questions before starting.
Lorenzo took his staff and a pulse of mana filled the room. His eyes closed as if he was in deep thought while muttering to himself, only for the magic circle to start to glow. A pedestal out of nowhere rose from the ground and he placed a free hand on it. Glowing energy rushed from his hand into the pedestal. It followed along lines like conduits, Runes on the circle began to glow with the same light and the pillars also began to move, rising from the ground.
Van was looking every which way, his heart pounding and his eyes wide. He didn’t much remember the first time he went through the test, he was very young. But he definitely knew that this wasn't just a step up from last time, but several steps. His father seemed impassive though as if very much used to this, which calmed him down some as he waited for what was to come next.
All of a sudden, the circle seemed to deform. He almost got up in panic but feared that doing so would ruin whatever Lorenzo was doing, so he stayed seated. Looking in wonder, he realized that the circle didn’t deform but that it was just a trick of the eyes as the formation glowed brighter and Van soon found himself in some sort of 3D projection of several copies of the circle. They moved around him as if he were the sun and they the stars and planets. It was surprisingly calming, soothing even, he couldn't help but look around him.
Soon everything outside the pillars began to fade, even Lorenzo. Followed by the pillars, and the magic circle. Van almost didn’t notice, the only things left was a milky white flowing nothingness around him and soon he was alone.
Van got up. It almost felt like he was floating. Soon a hand came upon his shoulder and Van almost shot up in surprise as he turned to see what was behind him. When he saw his father he glared “ don't scare me like that!” then looking around “Where are we?”
Alvaroz chuckled before taking on a more serious demeanor. “We are in your soul realm. Or at least the transition into your soul realm.” he said looking around “ soon all of this will change and will take on the shape that best represents your soul… or the pieces of it”
Van paled.
“No no, nothing like that, it's only natural for an unformed soul realm to have many pieces lying around. They will naturally coalesce and join together into a greater whole. Some pieces will disappear and others will appear from thin air. All depending on you of course” Pointing at Van.
Van thought about that and realized that that made a lot of sense. As kids, people were constantly changing. It probably wasn’t until they were older that they began to find a core identity of themselves.
“So what now?”
“Now we wait a bit, then you will do your best to reach out and call to yourself,” he shrugged “ as odd as that may sound. Afterward we will look around to see what's what and if there may be any problems to worry about. We will also be seeing if we can't set things in motion to allow your soul realm to form quicker. The sooner the better it will be for you, but that's only secondary to making sure that there are no major problems and checking out what kind of soul realm you might have.”
Van nodded, turning around to check the nothingness around them. They didn’t have to wait long as it began to recede forming a very large open area around them where they floated in the center of. The milky white nothingness turned grey then darker, and started to role with thunder. Cracks of lightning shot out, going every which way and wind began to blow. Soon things began to appear out of nowhere, floating all around them. The world around them grew a little dimmer and the thunderstorm that formed grew ever darker and the wind picked up blowing a little harder. Thankfully there was no rain they had to worry about, but Van couldn't help but be worried about what all this meant.
Suddenly, lightning struck the clouds, like a rock thrown in a pond, the clouds rippled and an image of a giant metal ship floating through the stars appeared. Then another strike of lightning to their other side created an image of floating islands and strange dangerous flying creatures. Another strike, another image, this one of a large stone and metal city, so large that he could not see the end of it. One after another the lightning struck the clouds and images of strange lands, strange creatures, and strange worlds would bloom into existence only to fade away. Some of the images would clash, getting near one another and creating thunderous roars, as if they were fighting each other for dominance before fading away.
Van watched in wonder, even his father was mesmerized by the scenes that played out before them.
“Fascinating…So this is what it's like.” Alvaroz murmured to himself before loudly saying “ I admit, I never thought this is what it would be like in a soul realm, not only not fully formed, but plagued by past memories of other lives. I can understand now why most go somewhat insane. Thankfully you have me and Lorenzo with you, and if your mother was here she would have felt the same way. We’ll help you get through this, just like I promised” he finished, placing a hand on Van’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
Van was touched by his father caring for him, he was still nervous, but it felt good to know someone was watching out for him “thanks...”
Alvaroz gave another squeeze before letting go. “ I have to say, I'm honestly impressed by the size of your soul realm, you have great potential.” he said looking around. “ Alright then, I'm going to create a pulse of my power that should reach the far corners of your soul realm. With this pulse I should be able to get an idea of your soul realm and its true size, it would also force your soul realm to react to me, so that we can see in what way it reacts if at all. Remain calm while I do this as you will feel like something is wrong, it may even be a little painful. Are you ready?”
Van hesitated before nodding “ I'm ready.” he said, still feeling like he really didn’t have a choice. Afterall, this was why they were here.
“Good” Alvaroz gathered his power, and in a great show of force sent it in all directions in a giant wave of energy. It rippled through the soul realm, causing disturbances everywhere, cracks appeared in thin air and the thunder clouds around them shook, any images they had disappeared into nothingness.
Van never before felt this kind of pain before. It was as if his entire being was grabbed and shaken very violently to the point where he thought he lost some pieces of himself. He felt violently ill and felt a headache coming on. If there was a ground, he would have collapsed on to it. Blood trickled down his nose, as he became somewhat light-headed and dizzy. Literal holes opened up on his body, hollow without a drop of blood spilling out.
His father immediately saw what he had done and grabbed Van by the shoulders to steady him. “Are you okay!” he exclaimed with fear and surprise in his voice. “I never thought he would react like this! His soul must be far weaker than I thought! This is not good…”
“I’m fine” Van muttered, pushing his father's hands away. “ I just need some time.” Van grabbed his temples and tried to rub them though it didn’t help.
“Sorry, I should have seen that coming. I didn’t realize that you would react so strongly to my power like that.” Alvaroz lamented
“...It's fine, I just feel… well I don’t know what I feel but it was worth it, right?”
“Yes... I got a good picture of what your soul realm is like. It is far larger than I anticipated, honestly it may be one of the largest out there but it's also very fragile.” looking towards the cracks in thin air. “ now more than ever I know it is the right decision to have you go through all the awakenings, and yet we may still have to go further. Your soul realm is just too large for any one person to contain without help” he shook his head in disbelief.
More cracks began to form around them, as if the reality around them was made out of nothing but weak glass. Alvaroz looked around in worry.
“Van, listen to me” Van looked up, hands still on his head, a miserable look on his face. “ I'm sorry, but I need you to focus. Try calling out to your soul realm” which only got Alvaroz a look of confusion in reply “ remember how it felt when I sent out my pulse? Try to remember that feeling then calm down, take a deep breath and steady yourself, after that try to feel anything that might be missing and gather it back into yourself.”
Van furrowed his brow, trying to figure what exactly he was supposed to do before deciding just to go with feeling. He closed his eyes going through his meditation exercise trying to feel for the missing pieces and calling them back, or pulling them back, whatever the case. After a while, a strange sensation came over his body and some of his missing pieces returned, but he couldn't get all of them, leaving still some holes in his body. The cracks in the soul realm still didn’t decrease despite having some more of his pieces back.Looking around there were more floating objects. less when they first entered.
“How do you feel?” Alvaroz asked with worry
“A little better I guess.” which was true, he wasn’t swaying anymore, and the dizziness has largely receded from Van’s mind.
“Good, let's head to one of those floating objects and get some more information. Perhaps they are supposed to mean something. Try to avoid the crack though, we don't know what may happen if we get too close. Do you think you can fly?”
At first Van was a little confused at that,until he remembered they were essentially floating on empty air with empty space all around them. He tried a few experimental moves, trying to get a feel for it. “ I think I can.”
“Grab on to me anyway” Alvaroz said and Van did so and the both of them went to one of the closest objects around them for a better look. Upon getting close enough they stopped and took a good look at what was the thing that was floating around them. It was a rock.
“Odd, why would this rock have such importance to you?” Alvaroz looked around, taking a look at the many other floating objects. “ are they all rocks?”
Van took a closer look at the rock, trying to see if there was anything he might notice that his father couldn’t, considering this was his soul realm afterall. The rock glowed a bit when he came close, strange lines appeared and van realized that what was mistaken for a rock had too much of a strange sheen to it for it to be normal, a strange contented feeling washed over him. Before he could take a closer look, he was pulled away by his father. The rock grew dimmer and the feeling faded away.
“Perhaps it's best we don't shove our faces into things we have no clue of.” Alvaroz said, glaring down on his son. Van blushed a little in embarrassment. “I know you're curious but it's best to keep our distance first, we don't know what those things can do.”
“I… don’t think it's dangerous… actually I think it's good, at least that was what I felt.”
Alvaroz raised an eye “ really?” he pondered that for a moment. “Alright let's take a look at the other ones first before we go touching them, okay?”
Van nodded, a little more eager than he was before about getting to study the strange objects, even so much as taking the initiative to take the lead to the next closest object.
One after another they looked at the many floating objects around them. All of them were different shapes and sizes and comprised of different things. Some of them metal, others of crystal, and a few that couldn't be identified at all.
“Well, I'm just as stumped as when we first began, let's look for a normal-looking one and have you get close to it.” Alvaroz said, making Van look excited, he was hoping for that, with each object he drew near to, a feeling of contentment welled inside him. “ just keep in mind that if it looks dangerous, I'm going to pull you away, with force if I have to.”
“Don’t worry” Van said, with a hint of longing in his voice “I don't think anything bad will happen.”
Alvaroz didn’t look too sure, but he would be a fool if he didn’t recognize the look on Van’s face every time they got near one of the objects. But they have been through this enough times for him to get a suspicion as to what those objects truly might be. “ try to feel around your soul realm, look for one that feels the most you”
“The one that feels like the most me?” Van furrowed his brows in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”
“Exactly what I said. Look for the one that feels like you the most” Alvaroz restated.
Van wasn’t really sure what his father was trying to get at, but went with it anyway. He closed his eyes and tried to feel himself once more. Doing his best to feel every bit of his soul realm which, he realized, really was big, to the point that he couldn’t be sure to reach the edges of. Still he searched, trying to look for the object that feels the most...him
“There you are” Van opened his eyes, a feeling tugging him in a direction. “That way” he pointed. The both of them flew towards that direction. Van had gotten better at flying and moving about, but even with his new found speed, it still took them a while to reach the object. And what an object it was. The thing was huge, metallic, yet soft, inscribed with countless runes. Its shape was spherical and seemed to hold the most power out of all the other objects. It also looked like it was missing a few pieces, or that it was incomplete.
“Hmm, interesting,” his father said “it's just as I thought. These objects are pieces of your core”
“Core?”
“All soul realms have a core to themselves. For example, when Lorenzo showed you that image of my soul realm, one of those dummies looked exactly like me, didn’t it? That’s because that was the core of my soul realm, that dummy didn’t just represent an aspect of me, but all of me. For Lorenzo his core was the book he showed you, and nothing more. For others, it could be a tree, or a pillar, and so on and so forth. The core will always take its place in the center of your soul realm. It is what your soul realm revolves around and in turn the core stabilizes your soul realm.
“ I see. What do we do with it?”
“Well first things first, do you see that your core seems to be missing a few pieces?” Van nodded “try to draw some of those floating pieces of you and see if you can’t add them to your core. Doing this can help stabilize your soul realm and set it in motion for its proper formation. It might even get rid of a few of those cracks I made and help you deal with those nightmares you have.”
Van perked up at that last bit and eagerly tried to call the many pieces to himself. A few minutes passed and nothing happened. Van opened his eyes, confused at what he was doing wrong.
“Perhaps you should try touching the core?”
“Alright” Van went towards the core. Unlike all the other pieces, it didn’t glow when he got closer, nor did it when his hands touched it. “It's smooth and warm, and it feels soft, like if I push it hard enough it will bend like clay, yet it doesn’t give way when I do, odd.”
Van closed his eyes to focus, he tried reaching out for it but to no avail, he tried again, and again, over and over but still nothing worked. Giving up he moved away and turned back towards his father “It feels like it's... rebuffing me?”
“Hmm. let's try going to one of those pieces of you nearby, they seemed to react to you better. Perhaps we’ll figure something out if we do so.” the two left the core towards the closest floating piece they could find. When Van got close, it began to glow and Van was filled with that same sense of contentment like before. When he reached out to touch it, it glowed brightly and a feeling of wholeness washed through his body. The piece disappeared, one of the holes on Van’s body did likewise and the core in the distance glowed for a breath moment.
“Very good! it seems we now know what to do. Let's head out for the other pieces as quickly as possible.”
Van whole heartily agreed. A feeling of euphoria running through his being. They left for more pieces. One after the other Van would go up to one and touch it, and it would disappear and the same feeling of wholeness, followed by the glow of his core in the distance. With each piece he added, the cracks would lessen, some even going away entirely.
The only problem they had was time. The soul ream was huge, and there were a lot of pieces to pick up. It took hours to get any real progress done, and still Van felt many more pieces left out there.
“We should stop for the day. Lorenzo must be getting tired. Once outside we’ll teach you some meditation practices so that you can slowly fix your soul realm without us. For now, let's head back to your core and see if anything has changed.” Alvaroz said.
Once at the core they stopped in wonder at what it has become. It was a hodgepodge of many different pieces all pushed together, none of it making any real sense, especially taken as a whole.
Alvaroz was at a bit of a loss as he stared at what lay before him, deep in thought he tried to figure out what it was until it came to him and exclaiming loudly, “Ah! I think I know what's going on!”
Van was momentarily startled as he was absorbed in watching his core, the different lines of energy rippling in hypnotic patterns.
“This!” Alvaroz said pointing at the core in front of them “this is not your core! or not yet at least!” finishing excitedly like he solved a big puzzle. He then calmed down and took a moment to properly explain.
“ if Lorenzo was here he could do a better job at this than I, but! I think I have it figured out. You see this is a seed. Not your actual core, it makes sense because most people wait until they are more mature before trying to enter their soul realm, so their soul realm is also a bit more mature and has mostly taken its shape. But you are only five years old, and half soul awakened. Your true core probably won't bloom or reveal itself until you finally have gone through a full awakening.”
“So does that mean everyone has to go through a soul awakening to access their soul realm? Isn't that contradictory to what you told me before?” Van asked
Alvaroz shook his head “ No, only you have to go through the soul awakening, most learn a meditation practice which will help them to enter and leave their soul realm and how to use it. You don’t need to be a soul awakened in order to use your soul realm.
“Why does being half soul awakened mean that I can’t access my core until fully awakened?” Van asked.
“Let's see... how to explain this?” Alvaroz thought for a moment before coming up with an idea. “ Alright, you know how you can’t eat or drink while you're running? Think of it like that. Imagine your soul realm is in a constant transition between being unawakened and awakened. The only time it can eat is when it's stopped. But since it can’t stop until it's reached the finish line, it can't take the time to properly eat or drink. Not the best analogy I admit, but hopefully it helps.”
Van nodded, getting an idea of what his father meant. “ and I just can’t go back to the starting line?”
“That might do far more harm than good,” Alvaroz said sadly “ and unfortunately I don’t think it's even possible to stop unless you finish.”
Van thought about that for a while before sighing in defeat. But not wanting to end on a downer he exclaimed optimistically “Well, at least after all of this I'll probably be super strong, with me going through all those awakenings, right?”
Alvaroz gave a gentle smile and pulled Van into a hug “you definitely will be, I’ll make sure of it.”
They stayed like that for a while. If only Van knew how troubled and worried his father was, he would have tried a little harder to be optimistic. Sadly his position didn’t allow him to see his father's face, filled with love and worry. They pulled away.
“Come, it's time to leave. Me and Lorenzo still have to teach you some meditation practices before your bedtime. And our bodies are probably very hungry. I’ll have the cooks whip something delicious for us.” Van nodded eagerly, then they both disappeared from his soul realm.