Chapter 108 A harsh world

The next morning Van walked out of his tent, feeling both refreshed and wrung dry at the same time. Isa, closely following behind. He took a moment to stretch and turned to address his companion.

“Isa, you still look quite tired, don’t go pushing yourself, why don’t you rest for a while longer then go get breakfast. Take a break for a bit.” Van said, concerned for Isa’s well-being, who had been overexerting herself yesterday and for a while now.

Isa gave a small burp and groaned, rubbing her very full belly. “Don’t even talk to me about food after what you did to me this morning.” she groaned. “I don’t think I will have to eat till dinner with all the stuff you filled me with,” she said.

Van blushed. “S-sorry about that, don’t know what came over me,” he said apologetically, thinking back to last night with Luna and this morning with Isa. “Speaking of which, how far are you on ranking up now?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“If you give me some time to digest… perhaps seventy-five percent?” she said, then shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m literally fucking my way to a rank up. Well… certainly not complaining I guess. But you… are you okay?” she asked, concerned. “You… are acting a bit… different...”

“I’m… fine…” he said, unsure how to brooch the subject. “I just feel…” he then shook his head, “no, you are right, I do feel different now with all the changes that happened. But I'm just as sure that I'm the same person I was before,” he said assuredly.

Isa nodded. “I understand,” she said agreeing, then continued, “normally it takes a lot more convincing to get you to do anything… sexual… but this morning you were raring to go. We were meant to start at first light, but in the end, we are a few hours behind now. Not that I’m complaining.” she quickly added, then her thoughts turned to other things. “But then theres Luna…” her voice trailed off.

Van hesitated and looked back to the covered entrance of the tent. Just imagining his wife, naked and probably pleasuring herself without a care in the world like a ditzy airheaded bimbo.

“And then you…” Isa continued, her voice trailing off again, as if she wanted to say something but decided against it.

But Van could hardly blame her. He too had changed greatly. While normally he could spend days if not weeks, not caring one iota about having sex. Now… now he probably felt like one of those past lives of his where he was a normal human in a normal world with a proper sex drive. He could barely go a few hours without the want or need to relieve himself.

He knew some of that wasn’t normal, his new constitution just made him more optimized for sex and the ability to continue to have sex for hours if not days on end without any major drawback. Which might have been a dream in some worlds, In prospect, but in practice… It was a huge pain.

“I’m fine…” Van said kindly. “Thanks for worrying about me,” he said genuinely, conveying that he understood her concerns for him. “As I said before, there are… just going to be a few different things about me… but it won’t change who I am,” he said resolutely.

Isa stared at for a moment and nodded. “Okay… just take care of yourself. I’m… going to walk this off then go see my comrades, have to make sure to send their spirits off properly… take care of yourself, Van…” Then slowly walked away, giving one last glance back in worry before she continued forward to see her lost comrades.

Van watched her go for a bit, then was about to turn around when a voice spoke into his mind.

(“Van, glad you're awake. I need you to go check up on Anna for me. Need to get something out of the way before it becomes worse.”) Ren said all of a sudden in Van’s mind.

(“Oh, now you want to talk to me?”) Van replied, his semi-good mood ruined a bit.

(“no time for that. Have you seen Anna? We really should help her before she gets worse.”) Ren replied. Knowing how Van would react to that.

Van hesitated, he had not seen Anna since yesterday. Which was very weird since she would normally sleep in a pile on top of him given the chance. In fact, he had no idea where she was right now. And it was beginning to set in that he should be worried.

(“no… I haven't… give me a sec.”) he thought back to Ren and turned to start looking for someone who could point him in the right direction.

After a few minutes, he was able to find a goblin who told him where she last saw Anna. far in the corner of the fort in a run-down tent. Van wondered why Anna would be there, but his worry was starting to run rampant and he quickly walked over, trying to suppress his concern.

(“it’s worse than I thought…”) Ren said as Van entered the tent where Anna was staying.

About eight Annas were lying around, their eyes half glazed.

Worriedly, Van quickly went up to them and felt their heads, and found them burning. Which was crazy, because he never heard of Anna ever having a fever before, or for that matter, ever getting sick.

“Anna? Anna!” he said, trying to shake a nearby Anna awake.

Slowly, her eyes began to focus. “Van…? What are you doing here?” she said in a soft and weak whisper.

“That doesn’t matter! What’s going on? What is happening to you!” Van asked, now in full-blown panic mode.

“We're sorry… we… I… we…” she said, half confused. “Didn’t want to worry you…” she finally got out. She then closed her eyes again.

Van wanted to shake her awake but restrained himself and instead gently put her down. (“Ren, what's happening to my Annas!”)

(“Remember when you had about twenty Annas helping out? And now you have only eight… half of which are wounded… well… remember what I said about them almost dying for real and that the ones that died instead carried over to the other Annas and how their minds were becoming overburdened? This… this is what's happening to them…”) Ren said seriously.

(“They probably didn’t want to worry you, figuring they could take care of it themselves. Bouncing their extra lives from one Anna to another. But that was only a temporary measure. Their brains were not meant to accept so many personalities, maybe one extra, but not two or three. They may be all one person, but a brain is still only an organic computer with limited mental capacity, unless she got herself a mind awakening, she would slowly overload herself.”) Ren finished.

(“what do we do?”) Van asked, hoping Ren had a solution.

(“don’t worry. I’m going to temporarily stop my healing for a bit and help open up a small hole in your soul realm. The window of time will be small, but it should be enough to get all of them. Just place your hands on their forehead and I’ll do the rest.”) Ren said.

Van did so without question. He was more concerned over his Annas well-being more than anything. So he placed his hands on the forehead of the nearest Anna and waited for something to happen.

Not soon after he felt something get slowly sucked out of Anna and into him. After about a minute of this, he left behind a relieved-looking Anna who quickly dozed off into a peaceful slumber.

(“that’s two of them. Don’t bother waking the Annas up, they need their rest after overloading their minds like that. Move on to the next one.”) Ren said and Van complied, moving on to the next one.

After about fifteen minutes they were finished, and the tent was filled with restful sleeping Annas. Van was so relieved, he did not know what to say, instead, he gave a simple. (“thanks Ren…”)

Ren grunted. (“don’t thank me just yet. I got some bad news for you.”)

Van perked up, worried again. (“is there something wrong with Anna!?”)

(“no, but remember what I said about it taking just a few days to fix you? Well… it’s going to be more like a few… months… maybe more…”)

(“A few months!”) Van asked in surprise.

(“yes, a few months… two months at the least… your soul realm is far more damaged than I first gave it credit for. And making that hole did you no favors on top of that. It’s going to take a while longer before you can start using your soul realm the way you used to… sorry…”) Ren said apologetically, sounding genuinely bad that he couldn’t do better.

Van was thrown for a bit of a loop. It actually sounded like Ren was sorry. But that was not what really drew his attention, the idea that he would be without access to his soul realm scared him. And slowly a part of him grew suspicious and wondered if any of this was true.

(“how do I know that’s true… I don’t feel any pain from my soul realm, don’t you think I would know if there is something wrong with my own soul realm?”) Van asked, trying not to sound too suspicious.

Almost immediately Van’s body began to shake and his eyes began to water, a huge migraine formed in his brain and he wanted nothing more than to fall to the floor, curl up, and cry himself to sleep. But just as quickly as it came, it disappeared, but the memory of it still shook him.

(“that… was a portion of what I have to deal with…”) Ren said. (“I don’t fault you for not trusting me one hundred percent, even after helping you out as I did. But don’t think I would just lie about something with such severity…”)

(“s-sorry… it's just that… Luna, and Anna… I’m just worried about them… Luna… she hasn’t returned to normal… and you said that when my soul realm was fixed she would return to normal so…”) Van ended it there, not knowing what else to say.

Ren sighed. (“She won’t return to one hundred percent who she was… I thought I made that clear…”)

(“I know but… the way she is acting…”) Van began but couldn’t finish.

(“Van… you have soul bound Luna and Anna to you. And while that usually means a strong connection between people… your soul realm literally absorbed theirs… meaning their souls are more inside your soul realm than in their own body! Or bodies in Anna’s case.”) Ren began.

(“The reason why the Anna’s were overheating, is the same reason why Luna is acting so ditzy. It’s a case where her mind… her soul… is in a different place, your soul realm. And her body is acting a little on… autopilot… and because she awakened her succubus bloodline and now is a lesser succubus, her body is acting on those new desires and wants just like you are struggling with your new desires and wants.”)

(“that’s why I said before, that when your soul realm heals, she too will heal… it’s because she would have a stronger connection to her soul realm again. Which is the heart of who a person is. It’s also the reason why your Anna’s don’t truly die, they instead get sucked back into you and wait to be reborn. So to speak.”) Ren finished.

Van was floored by what he learned. He always knew he had a particularly strong connection with those he soul bonded with. But it never occurred to him that it was because he literally devoured their souls and incorporated them into his own soul realm. It left a very sour feeling in the pit of his stomach. Like he was some sort of monster or something.

(“don’t think too hard about it. You are not a monster.”) Ren said as if reading his mind. (“if anything… So long as you're alive, they too will be forever alive. A form of immortality that some would kill for. Not to mention, they genuinely love you and are happy to be a part of you. So don’t think about it too much. You would only be beating yourself up.”) Ren said, almost as if trying to cheer Van up.

Van didn’t say anything, but he did nod. Whether it was in thanks to what Ren said, or just acknowledging what was said, only he could know.

Slowly Van walked out of the tent so as not to disturb the resting Annas, and he felt Ren leave his mind. Probably trying to give him some distance.

He decided to walk around for a bit and gather his thoughts on everything he learned and experienced so far. Slowly making a complete circle of the fort, watching the few goblins he had left trying to make a difference in the now huge and empty place. He walked all the way until he met up with Isa again, who looked like she was praying in front of the rows and rows of corpses that were once her comrades.

“What did you say to them?” Van asked, curious as to what kind of prayer Isa would say.

“Hm?” Isa turned around, then realized it was Van who asked. “Oh, it's not really a prayer…” then tilted her head. “Or… maybe it is?” she asked, though more to herself. “It's more a saying to help those who pass on to the afterlife... A goblin prayer perhaps…” she then admitted after some thought. “May your womb give life even in death…” in a tone that carried some reverence.

“Back when our kind was ground up for fertilizer, we would say this in the hopes that our bodies would help give birth to new plants and trees. In a way, it was comforting to know we helped give birth to life, even in death,” she said, somewhat melancholic, but not sad in the least, more… content if anything, gazing back at the rows of her comrades.

“Are you going to raise their corpses?” she asked, not looking at him.

Van was taken aback by that. “What? No!” he said in surprise.

She then looked at him strangely. “But are you not a necromancer? Or are you hoping to ground them up into soup to turn them into biomass? That way we can use your alchemy and the biomass to increase the growth of our eggs by fusing the biomass and the eggs together. It should help us a lot with recovering from our losses.”

Van looked at her almost in horror at the prospects of doing something like that. Yes he studied to bring the dead back to life, but… he paused… it never really occurred to him what being a necromancer meant. He was forced to deal with corpses in school, but that was only in a clinical setting. This… this was different... Wasn't it?

Van shook his head and instead asked Isa a question. “Are you really fine with me turning your comrades into undead… or soup for biomass? How could you even think that?” he asked genuinely curious.

Isa tilted her head and looked at Van oddly. “If you had really cared about all that… then shouldn’t you have cared when you fed me the mana cores of my own comrades? Or was it because we cleaned them up and you changed them a little that it didn’t really matter anymore? Or did you not even realize what you were doing?” she asked, now a little confused herself of where this conversation was going.

Van stood there in disbelief, more with himself than anything. Isa was completely right. He had fed some of the mana cores that were ripped out of her comrades back to her. All for the sake that she gets stronger as fast as possible. It never occurred to him what his actions meant.

“If… you were to die… would you be fine… turned into… mulch?” Van suddenly asked, worried that he was being incredibly rude, but at the same time, he had to know.

Isa thought about it a bit before answering. “I… don’t want to die… it’s one of the reasons why I have trained so hard… unlike most of my other sisters… I wanted my life to be meaningful… and I suppose that means a meaningful death. And if that's a death where I would be turned into mulch. Then I would be happy if at least a few trees were born from me. After all… I know… even if I'm not bound like you to Luna or Anna, we are connected, and my spirit will always be with you until it fades away and I'm reborn.” she said.

From the sound of it. Goblins had a strange outlook on life and death with a form of reincarnation mixed in for good effect. Van had to think about it for a while before he remembered what kind of world he was dealing with and that he dealt with plenty of strange things back at the necromancers guild. He literally watched people be judged and sentenced even in death.

“Am I… still looking at this from an outsider's perspective?” he thought with a frown.

“Well… I better get to work then.” Isa suddenly said out of nowhere, breaking Van from his thoughts.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Since you can’t seem to decide, I’ll decide for you. We are making soup out of them. Goblins decompose really fast, in a few more days they will be nothing more than mush. Better get to it now before it's too late. Not to mention…” she rubbed her belly. “Thanks to you I have a few kids I want to quickly grow, it would be good for them,” she said, then looked at the rows of corpses of her comrades. “And them, in a way, they will live on again through my children.”

“I’ll make sure to ask Gwen for help too.” almost as if an afterthought. “She can help use her alchemy to turn them into biomass,” Isa said.

Before Van could say anything. A hobgoblin came rushing up to him. “Master! The troglodytes are back with treasure! You have to come quick!” before rushing off again.

Van looked between Isa, the corpses, and the rushing hobgoblin. After a tense silence, he gave in and turned away from Isa, letting her do what she wanted. He could worry about the morality of these actions later. Right now, he had to assess his new found resources.