Chapter 9: Rose’s Determination! Right?

Author's Note: The first part of this chapter takes place over several weeks with Rose continuing to try and think for herself and coming to a big, sort of, decision. The rest of the chapter shows how hard changing yourself can be, especially when dealing with loved ones. We also get to see a bit more about the Prince's personality than we have previously since Rose always ran away before interacting with him in any major way. At some point in the future I'll do a .5 chapter on him so we can see everything from his perspective. That being said it's still not clear whether they will end up together or not as there is still almost 4 years until she needs to decide, they've only been in school now for a little over 2 months afterall.

The next two month's passed quickly as I did what Veronica said and thought about what "I" wanted. Thinking about everything I'd done since coming to this world as well as what I'd experienced in the last and my dreams before reincarnating. And finally confronting the thought that without me by her side Mary must be completely lost. She had never gotten along with our parents but after "that" incident it had gotten so bad that after she moved in with me she refused to even talk with them when they called to check on us.

Thinking back to how she'd distanced herself from our parents and how, because I'd taken her in, our parents had slowly stopped even calling except on rare occasions I only felt one overriding need that had followed me my whole life, both in the last one as well as this one.

It's why I was so close with Karen after we broke up and why I had gotten so close with my current family so quickly. Family, both adopted and blood, had always been my priority. I'd screwed up so badly in my last life with Mary that I'd tried to overcompensate in this one by being a pushover. Hell I probably would've just married Prince Arlen at the end of the 4 years just to make my Auntie happy, without thinking about what "I" wanted. In this life I wanted to do what "I" wanted, live "my" life without worrying whether someone else would be put out because of it.

...Unfortunately as much as I'd made up my mind not to just roll over at the whims of the people around me I couldn't really think of anything I wanted to do in particular. I mean exploring the world sounded interesting as well as the life of an adventurer but my experiences as an adult previously told me that the logistics behind something like that wasn't something a 12ish year old could do.

On top of that was my utter lack of knowledge about anything concerning this world and I knew if I didn't quickly shape up I'd be left woefully unprepared for anything the world threw at me. And as far as my engagement to the Prince...?

Honestly I didn't really know what to think about that, I mean I was clearly attracted to women still but I knew from what I'd heard previously that Lamia were almost entirely bisexual so I didn't know how to react to the Prince. My previous interactions with him all ended with me running away rather than actually getting to know him which wasn't really fair to either myself or him. I had to at least give him a chance rather than running away because I couldn't face my own feelings. For all I knew I could be fine with both women and men.

My face heating up slightly at the thought I shook it to clear any lingering images. So with my future course at least partially decided the scheduled party's date approached.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Ahhhh! Even though I decided to give it a shot! Even though I decided! Dammit why is my willpower so weeeeak!?!?!] - Rose

Currently I was being forced through my reoccurring hell once more, even though I'd decided to try and live how I wanted. When faced with the concerted efforts of both Annabelle and my 3 roommates, as bored as Shade looked, I caved. I caved hard.

[Oho did you decide something important Young Miss?] - Annabelle

[Is it a lewd decision? Did ya decide to do something sexy?] - Veronica

[Focus you two! We need to make sure she looks gorgeous for the Social!] - Malaise

Feeling grateful that my outburst hadn't led to an embarrassing set of questions I exhaled a breath I'd been holding in. Only to be forced to inhale as a sudden pressure at my waist caused me to gasp in pain as a corset was tightened around it.

[Ow ow ow! Does it have to be so tight?] - Rose

[It does if we want it to do anything.] - Annabelle

[I don't really care if it... Ow ow ow ow ow ow! Be more gentle!] - Rose

Looking around for some help my eyes fell on Shade who was leaned against the wall looking as bored as usual. Seeing my pleading eyes she shook her head and mouthed, [Can't help you, sorry.] My only avenue of rescue cut off I allowed the other three girls to manhandle me while silently crying to myself at my complete inability to stand up for myself.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Now that wasn't so bad was it Young Miss? Plus you look even more beautiful now!] - Annabelle

[Like seriously ya look gorgeous normally but now ya look good enough to bite into!] - Veronica

[I must admit I feel compelled to agree with their assessment of your beauty...] - Malaise

[I-I guess...] - Rose

Examining myself in the mirror I had to admit that I did look stunning, although the pain wasn't really worth it in my opinion.

[Now how does the dress fit, any place uncomfortable?] - Sherwall

[Why are you even here anyway? Did you follow me or something?] - Rose

[Oh I just opened up a new branch here coincidentally now nevermind that and let me check that everything is where it should be, my Muse!] - Sherwall

[Hah....! Fine whatever....] - Rose

Sighing at her dodging the question I consented to her poking and prodding my body to make sure everything fit correctly. I could see Malaise with Veronica in a headlock as her hands tried to reach for me in the background. It looked like she was having some difficulty for some reason but Sherwall drew my attention away from them a moment later.

[Magnificence itself! My dresses can want for no better canvas! Your beauty the perfect stage for their unveiling!] - Sherwall

[...is that so...] - Rose

Exhausted from my nightmare and finding myself more and more used to Sherwall's compliments I could only manage a halfhearted response. Tonight was going to be even harder if I'm already this exhausted.

[Do you need a Endurance Boost Buff before the party? I'm getting fairly decent at Support magic recently.] - Malaise

[Oh yeah you're in the support class as your elective right? In that case I'd appreciate the help...] - Rose

[Sure thing! I'll put a long-term buff on you, it'll probably last the whole night but isn't as strong as a short-term one so don't overdo it.] - Malaise

[......gurgle gurgle....] - Veronica

Glancing down with concern at Veronica who was lightly twitching on the ground as Malaise finished her spell I asked about what had been going on earlier.

[Is she okay? What was even going on earlier?] - Rose

[Oh her? Yeah she said something about getting a taste of you before the Prince could so I disciplined her.] - Malaise

[Ahahaha....] - Rose

I laughed nervously as Veronica twitched slightly as if to try refuting Malaise.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Are you ready?] - Annabelle

Standing? outside the door to the reception area I shook my head violently. Apparently I was to meet the Prince just inside but my supposed determination was having trouble forcing me to make the last move and open the door.

[I'm feeling sick, maybe we can just say I was unwell? Would that work?] - Rose

[Come here...] - Annabelle

Suddenly pulling me into a hug while gently patting my head she rubbed my back with her other hand.

[I know you're worried about your past life and what you want to do with this one, it's okay to take it one step at a time. But running away from hard things isn't how you do it. You don't have to make a decision about something as important as and engagement immediately so don't worry.] - Annabelle

[And no matter what you decide I'll be by your side.] - Annabelle

Nodded while wiping my tears I smiled. Annabelle smiled back and separated from me before using a handkerchief to wipe my face lightly.

[Now get in there and try to have fun, that's what this is supposed to be about afterall.] - Annabelle

Turning while taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I opened the door.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Prince, seeing me, smiled widely before noticing my slightly red eyes.

[Are you okay? If you're not feeling well we don't have to do this.] Arlen

[N-no I decided to go through with this event and I won't go back on my word.] - Rose

To be honest his suggestion was attractive and if anyone else had made it I probably would have turned tail and ran but the fact that the person that had the most to lose if he showed up without a date was willing to overlook the social suicide that would cause and suggest that made my wavering determination harden.

[If that's what you want, but if it gets too hard let me know and we can call it quits right there.] - Arlen

[A-ah... S-sure I'll let you know if it gets too hard...] - Rose

My face heating up with his continued concern I lowered my face out of embarrassment only to see the Prince hold out an arm expectantly.

[....?] - Rose

[Your arm? We're about to present ourselves to the event.] - Arlen

[Ahhh! R-Right!] - Rose

Weaving my arm through his after some hesitation we moved forward, the door opening before us.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------