Chapter 101: I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Talking to Myself

- Dwarven Settlement, Calidus, Sens Estate Hot Springs Bath - Rose's POV -

[Wait so what about why Ogi likes fighting? You didn't mention that.] - Rose

[Urk!] - Argent

After her outburst we'd finally succeeded in calming down the embarrassed noble after nearly 15 minutes of struggling and after fighting to escape our grasps for nearly the entire time she was sitting on the side of the hot springs with her head against the beautifully set stone pathway that made up the ground around the pool of water. Apparently, building this area had been quite a difficult thing to do according to what our tour guide, Lolianne Sensei, said.

Regardless we'd gotten our blushing bride-to-be to calm down to the point where she wasn't likely to try murder-suicide as a means of escaping her embarrassment. And, with all the excitement finally over, I'd realized that we had never actually heard about the reason behind Ogi fighting all the time. That entire point had been somehow lost behind the veil of finding out that the sweet lug was taking care of some orphanage back at the city.

So, I decided to clear that point up since I WAS actually curious about that, being one of the people the fighting maniac continually tried to brawl. Argent, clearly flinching at my question, immediately stood up as if to run away once more as our entire group, now consisting of all of the girls in our class, glanced at her with curiosity.

[<mumble mumble>] - Argent

[Huh? What'd you say?] - Rose

[He just... <mumble mumble>] - Argent

[What was that?] - Rose

[I said he just likes fighting dammit! There's no other reason! He just likes to prove himself by fighting strong people! ARGH! I'm going to kill that giant moron for this!] - Argent

[W-Wait where are you going?!?] - Malaise

[I already told you! To kill that brutish lug!] - Argent

[Wait! I meant where are you going... dressed like that? And she's gone. How long before you think she realizes she's only in a towel?] - Malaise

[Riiiight aboooooout now.] - Karen

[Kyaa! W-W-Where are you looking you pervert!?!] - Argent

[Argh! Again?!? Wrrrrryyy?!?] - Ogi

And so, the end of our relaxation was punctuated with the screams of the undeserving as they were punished for something completely outside of their control. Maybe this'll help them get together in the end? Possibly? Probably not. Good luck Argent, you're going to need it.

- 4 Hours Later, Dwarven Settlement, Calidus, Sens Estate Guest Room - Rose's POV -

It had been a few hours after our relaxing dip in the hot springs, our exit taking us past a bruised and battered Ogi that had just been walking by, and Argent being held back by one of the many family maids as she used magic to continually fire off attacks at the poor confused giant. What's worse is he seemed reluctant to actually fight back for some reason, probably stemming from him actually viewing Argent as a woman now, if his face was anything to go by.

Anyways after ignoring the future lover's spat we all enjoyed a high class dinner in the Dwarven style, even had some of that spider meat that I'd had a few days ago which I was told was from a large rust-red spider with an iron-infused carapace and a penchant for chewing on the various metal bits that made up Dwarven mechanics. Apparently since they ate metal they were considered quite the pest and their young ones were small enough to sneak past most defenses geared towards stopping the adults of their number.

After finishing our meal we were told to head to bed since we'd have another early day tomorrow and, after wishing our newly found acquaintances a good night we split up to head for our respective rooms, a still fuming Argent dragged behind us.

[So have you ever thought about it Austin Sauce?] - Karen

[What's that Kare Kare?] - Rose

[Getting back together?] - Karen

[!!! <kof kof> W-What?!?] - Rose

That's when, hours after everyone had gone to sleep, I decided to get up for a glass of water only to come upon the one thing I didn't expect considering her previous aversion to staying up late. My translucent violet goddess, the one that kept me awake at night, and the one I'd lost because of something I was born with rather than anything I ever did. Karen.

Sliding up besides her as she looked out from our room’s balcony I silently sipped my drink, content in spending the time with my once girlfriend, only for her to break the silence with an unexpected question. Turning to her in confusion as to what she could possibly mean I felt my mind freeze when she clarified, the water in my mouth turning to ash as I choked on it in surprise.

[You heard me. Have you thought about it?] - Karen

I was struggling, her face told me that she was serious despite my initial knee jerk reaction to treat it as a joke. She-She was truly serious about that question wasn't she? Oh gods, how do I answer this?

[I-I... yes. To be honest I've thought about it constantly since you came here.] - Rose

[Then?!?] - Karen

[But I can't right now.] - Rose

I was tempted, oh gods was I tempted, I truly wanted to just accept right then and there and finally spend the rest of my life happily with my dream, the woman that I'd loved since the moment we met. But... I couldn't. Not now, not yet.

[I-Why? Do you love me?] - Karen

[That's not fair! That question! ...that's not fair.] - Rose

[...] - Karen

[...you know that after we broke up I continued loving you even knowing that it wasn't possible for us to be together?] - Rose

[I-That's no-] - Karen

[Not fair? Yes, you're right about that. I knew it wasn't fair to either of us to hold on, to continue to hope that something would change. But I still immediately agreed when you asked me to join in on your sexual escapades. I-I was holding onto hope, I realize that now. I wanted to be a part of your romantic life in some way, any way, regardless of how dysfunctional it was. And then I came here. I finally had a body that I could love you with...] - Rose

[...Austin.] - Karen

[...but you weren't here, I'd finally gained the body that I yearned for just so I could touch you. And you weren't with me.] - Rose

[But I'm here now I-!] - Karen

[I'm not done! Please, please let me finish.] - Rose

And she asked the one question I couldn't say no to, the one thing I'd been dreading she would ask. Do I love her? YES! A resounding yes! I love her more than life itself! More than anything in the world! But...

[I-If you had asked me to get back together as soon as we had reunited I would've said yes, without a doubt I would've jumped at the chance to be with you. But that would've been a mistake that I would've regretted.] - Rose

[<sniff> W-Why?] - Karen

[If this had happened in our previous world, if I had gone to Taiwan to get a sex change or somehow turn female would you have accepted me?] - Rose

[T-That's?!?] - Karen

[Not the same? How? Because I'm in a new body here rather than one that's been changed to be attractive to you? It's not any different. We broke up because you were a lesbian and I was a man, it wouldn't have worked in that world regardless of what we did to fix it. And... while I'm now in a body that you can love I still need- still need time. We need to work towards that goal, not jump in without looking. I want to do this right if we're going to do it, I need to know that it's not just because I look hot that you're wanting to get back with me. I need to know it's more than that. And you do too.] - Rose

[I-I...] - Karen

[Good night Kare Kare, I love you.] - Rose

Leaving her as she cried was the hardest thing I'd ever done, something that I might one day look back and regret but... it had to be done. I still loved her. Leaving her in pain like that was something I never wanted, but rekindling a relationship that had once ended just because I was now in her strike zone would only end in regret, even if it made us happy in the short term. The biggest problem was that we still saw each other as our old selves, people that we weren't any longer, and starting a relationship based off of what we want the other to be would only end in regret and pain. Later, when we have spent some time around each other in our new lives we'll come back to whether we want to be together but until then we needed to see each other as we are, not as we were.

- The Place Between, Rose's Divine Palace, Throne Room - Rose's POV -

[We need to talk.] - Wrath