Chapter 32. Meeting Merlin

Walking through the castle, Pansy led me near the entrance. "Back here." She waved, directing me just beside the main staircase, to where she saw the particular painting I was looking for. Easily missed if one didn't know any better, the small place was only the size of a long hallway with one end blocked. There were a few students loitering around the area, but seeing the Slytherin crest on our robes made them quickly vacate. “There he is.” Pansy said, pointing towards a lone portrait of an old man, casually observing the sunset, with his back turned towards us, hiding his face. “Excuse me?” I asked, trying to get his attention.

The man hummed, glancing behind his shoulder towards me, looking back over the horizon as he spoke. “Care to watch the sunset with me?” He asked, Pansy looked over at me with disbelief. I was confused myself, the man being known as the best and brightest the school had to offer was… this. I looked behind me, a bench was facing towards the large oil painting, there was little foot traffic in this area, making it surprisingly quiet despite being near the stairs at the entrance.

“Sure.” I agreed, taking the seat and watching the oil sun slowly fall in the sky, hoping that Pansy might get bored and leave. Pansy looked between the painting, and me for a while, before taking the spot next to me, eagerly watching the painting for something I may have seen. The noise of students walking behind us from the stairs, moving outside, or coming in from the front courtyard became white noise, their voices losing meaning, becoming a similar backdrop of the slowly setting sun from the painting, lulling Pansy to sleep, her eyes becoming heavier as she stared at the calming color of yellow, deepening into a dark red while hours passed of us by, sitting here.

Finally Pansy’s head slumped into my shoulder, dinner had just begun, the loud, yet altogether quiet mumbling of hundreds of students in the great hall so far away, combined with the dimming lights of the entrance made me equally tired. I felt myself slipping, using the back wall to lean my head against as I began drifting off. Just as I was on the precipice of sleep, a voice called out to me. “It’s always good to have company in life.”

Startled, I gasped in my seat, looking at the painting of Merlin, still staring at the sunset over the horizon. He never moved, but I could tell he spoke. I gulped, glancing at Pansy to see she was truly asleep. Even Val was asleep, coiled all around my arm. “Is that why you became friends with King Arthur?” I asked Merlin, the rocking in his chair, paused. “Arthur… hah.” He reminisced, chuckling while remembering his old friend. “And what… Might I ask… Would a Slytherin like to know about a Muggle?” He asked, never moving. I gulped, sighed, glanced around for any eavesdroppers, before finally saying what I waited hours to do. “I want to know…”

I bit my lip in thought, wondering how I might express my desires. Merlin was silent, patiently waiting for my response. “I want to know… How you survived school here…” Merlin slowly nodded, rocking in his chair slowly as he did so. “It wasn’t easy…” He admitted, my stomach sinking, distraught over my beliefs. “I was ridiculed by those I thought were friends. Avoided by those who looked on with worry over my House. Finally, only finding a true friend in the most unlikely of places.” Merlin explained.

I frowned, glancing between Pansy and Val, thinking of Draco, that strange Hufflepuff girl, even Hermione ran through my mind for some reason. “You wonder too… Don’t you? Why you are the one that must hide?” Merlin added, the pit in my stomach sinking even lower in response. “Yes… I ask why I had to be born into my family…” Merlin nodded silently, understanding my pain. “I always chose to believe… That only those that have been dealt hardships, can learn the lessons they teach.”

I scoffed and laughed quietly at his ‘advice’. “Teach…? Lesson…? What possible lesson, or teaching could I learn from this!? My entire life is a confusing mess, all because of this-! This burning feeling in my very soul, telling me what is and isn't right. I curse at it, yet cling to it at the same time! I always feel disgusted from the beliefs I have been taught all my life, but have to smile and nod in response. I can’t… See a reason in any of this.” Merlin was silent, finally stopping his chair from rocking. He slowly turned around in his chair to look me over. He glanced at Pansy, still sleeping amongst the chaos of my hushed yelling.

Merlin looked back over to me, his eyes filled with wisdom, so many decades of wisdom that reminded me of Dumbledore. He had a saddening smile, looking into me, yet past me at the same time. “Things may not become clear until much later in life… I can’t tell you how your life must shape you…” I sighed and scoffed at his usefulness, or lack thereof. “All I can say… Is that those who follow… And those who lead… Are much different people. I was never one to lead, but your life is different than mine.” He smiled warmly, looking back to the darkening sky, admiring the stars slowly appearing in the painting.

I frowned at him, thinking about what he meant by that. ‘He wants me to do what? Lead the House? He must have heard my name among passing students… I’m not a leader, and I can’t lead people who don’t believe anything I do.’ I finally sighed, resting my shaking head into my hands. Bottling my emotions back up before shaking Pansy awake. “Pansy… It’s time for dinner.” “Hmm? Ah!” Pansy groaned, until she quickly realized she was sleeping, her head snapped from my shoulder. “Sorry, I must have dozed off!” She yelled excuses while straightening her robes.

I sighed, still unhappy about my conversation with Merlin. “It’s fine, Pansy. We should eat before curfew.” I said standing up and stretching my legs. Raising my arms, I found a distinct wet spot on my arm, glancing at Pansy I could see slight drool at the corner of her mouth. I smirked while pulling the sleeve to her mouth, dabbing away the last of it. Making sure that she wouldn’t unknowingly leave it on her face, it would be much less embarrassing for her if I cleaned it now.

She froze, staring between me and my sleeve. “Are you staying here?” I asked, trying to move the conversation along, not giving her time to ask what I might have spoken to Merlin about. “No! No, I’ll be right there, you can leave first.” I nodded at her, and left for the Great Hall.

Pansy, gasped in response to Lucas’s sudden attack. Only able to hold it in, until he left. Her pounding heart in her chest throbbed to his casual smirk of amusement at her. She jumped at the sudden chuckling coming from the painting to her left. She stared at the image of Merlin, staring off into the starry night. “Perhaps some advice?” He muttered, without so much as looking at her. “If you go to battle with someone over apples, but the apples turn out to be lemons… What have you truly fought over? What you sought never existed, but could you accept the sourness of what you had won?” Pansy stared at the painting, his words ringing through her ears.

What was he talking about? Apples, Lemons… He sounded strange, but at the same time his words felt profound. Pansy couldn’t understand the meaning behind his words, but she knew that Lucas had something to do with it. Was he who she was battling? What would they be fighting over? Lucas was strange in the fact he wasn’t using his popularity to lord himself over others, instead helping in class to raise Slytherin's to an even higher degree. Pansy didn’t understand, but Merlin’s words stuck themselves in her mind. Like a splinter, she couldn’t be rid of.

Dinner was mostly taken over by explaining what I was riding on the way back into school. It was still a hot topic, and a way for Slytherin’s to hold themselves higher than other houses, saying they had a special person in their house compared to the rest of the houses. I wasn’t interested, but that didn’t seem to stop the rest of the Slytherin first years from excitingly explaining what they had seen me do in their own words.

Classes would begin tomorrow, but I was more excited over being halfway done with my first year. If Merlin’s advice wouldn’t help me, then I would just still stick to my plan of keeping my beliefs and emotions hidden until I was out of school, then move far, far away from my parents. ‘Just six and a half more years…’ I thought with a sigh.