Chapter 460. Courage Or Just Stupidity?

Seven Sins System Chapter 460. Courage Or Just Stupidity?

I blinked and let out a long, irritated huff, my frustration reaching a boiling point. “For my father’s sake! Why is this happening to me?” I complained, my voice rising with a mixture of anger and desperation.

Julia’s hand on mine tightened slightly, her grip grounding me. “Azrael,” she began softly, her voice steady and calm in contrast to my turmoil. “You’re feeling this way because you care. You’re not a monster, no matter how much you might think otherwise. The fact that you’re struggling with these feelings just shows that you’re more than the devil you see yourself as.”

I closed my eyes, her words sinking in, but they didn’t bring the comfort I wished they would. Instead, they felt like a knife twisting in the wound. “Caring makes me weak,” I muttered, more to myself than to her. “It’s what gets you hurt, what gets others hurt. It kills my logic, I hate that.”

“But it’s also what makes you strong,” Julia countered gently. “You care enough to try, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s painful. That’s not a weakness. That’s courage.”

I opened my eyes and looked at her, my expression still clouded with doubt. “I’m not sure if it’s courage or just stupidity,” I said, the bitterness creeping back into my voice. “I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, there’s a way out of this. A way to make it work. But every time I get close, it’s like… her and the universe slaps me down, reminding me that it’s impossible.”

Julia gave me a sad smile, her eyes full of empathy. “It’s not stupid to hope, even when things seem impossible. It’s what makes us human,” she said. But then she continued. “Or, well, what makes us care,” she corrected once she remembered my status and where I came from. Her voice was gentle, as if she was trying to reach me across a chasm that neither of us fully understood.

I remained silent, my thoughts churning. I knew she meant well, but our perspectives were worlds apart—literally and figuratively. She was from the mortal realm, where emotions like care and love were often seen as virtues, strengths even. But for us demons, those same emotions could be seen as vulnerabilities, weaknesses that could be exploited. Caring too much could lead to ruin, as I had learned the hard way.

"You don’t agree with me, do you?" Julia asked softly, sensing the dissonance in my silence. There was no accusation in her voice, just a quiet understanding that we were speaking different languages, even if we were using the same words.

I sighed. The tension in my chest was not easing despite her gentle approach. “It’s not that I don’t understand what you’re saying,” I replied, my voice low and measured. “It’s just... our worlds are different, Julia. You see it as a strength, something that can build you up. But in my world, it’s more complicated than that. Care can be a weakness, something that can be used against you.”

She nodded, her gaze steady on mine. “I get that. I really do. But I also think that maybe, in some way, it can be both. It can be a weakness if you let it, sure. But it can also be a strength if you choose to make it one.”

I looked away, not because I didn’t want to see her, but because I was struggling with what she was saying. Her logic made sense—at least in the way that it made sense to her. But to me, it felt foreign, like trying to grasp smoke with my hands. The idea that care could be a strength was something I had seen turn to ash before.

“I’m not sure it works that way in my world,” I said finally, my tone weary. “Every time I cared, it’s ended badly,” I admitted.

“And I don’t know where our relationship—me and her—will take us,” I continued, feeling the truth as they left my mouth. “I don’t want to put any hope in it or try to care for her. I’ll just... let everything go naturally, wherever it takes us. If we end up as enemies again, I don’t mind it,” I stated, trying to sound as resolute as possible. But even as I said it, there was a part of me that recoiled at the idea of letting things just fall apart.

Julia leaned in closer, her eyes searching mine, as if trying to read the emotions I was working so hard to suppress. “And what if the opposite happens?” she asked quietly, her tone gentle but probing.

I fell silent. The thought of things turning out differently, of Puriel and I finding some kind of understanding, was something I hadn’t allowed myself to consider. It felt too fragile, too unlikely to be worth even entertaining. But as the silence stretched on, I found myself grappling with the possibility.

“That’s good then,” I finally answered, though my tone was flat, devoid of any real enthusiasm. The truth was, I couldn’t imagine it at all. What would that even look like—us, together, in a way that wasn’t defined by conflict? The thought was so foreign that I couldn’t even picture it in my mind.

Julia watched me closely, her expression softening with something like pity or perhaps just deep understanding. She knew me well enough to see through my words, to recognize the fear and uncertainty I was trying to mask. “Fine,” she said after a moment, leaning back slightly to give me some space. “I won’t spoil your appetite anymore,” she continued.

I appreciated the gesture, but the heaviness in my chest didn’t lift. I picked up my fork again, taking a bite of the casserole. The food was good. At least it was better than anything I could have made for myself—but my appetite had waned.

Julia seemed to sense this, but she didn’t push. She ate quietly, allowing the conversation to lapse into silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, but it was charged with unspoken things.

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