Chapter 149. Kathy Wants To Talk About It

Kathy thinks I look handsome as an army, apparently. Not "take to bed handsome" but rather "inspiring abject respect and awe", as she was at great pains to clarify. I'd suspect she was not entirely truthful, but she is very definitely not aroused. Excited, yes, surprised and awed and somewhat terrified, even. All those notes are present in her pheromone output. What is lacking, however, is sexual arousal. So despite the jesting back in Kraut, I believe it's entirely fair to say Kathy will come back unbent. Or at the very least, that I'm not going to be the one responsible for her being bent, at least.

"There are rather stringent limits, actually." - I interject - "The more diverse and attention-grabbing the tasks are, the less distribution I can maintain. Even that much was a pretty hard-won achievement, one I worked towards to for quite a while."

I didn't bother keeping myself as an army for much longer than the impromptu parade. It may be manageable, but it's still a considerable chore, so as soon as everyone had their five minutes of shock and awe, I collapse my instance list to a much more manageable everyday norm.

"I have to ask, though. Why the sudden brutality? I mean, I get it, you despise Tepesh and all he stands for, but..." - she trails off - "I have a distinct impression that this is more personal for you than it should be, given you've never met anyone face to face before... Right?"

"I know what he would do in the future." - I explain - "And it's mind-bogglingly wasteful. If he was just a weirdly cruel person, I wouldn't be bothered so much, but he and his folks just... go for cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Remember the boasting a couple years back about how Vallah is so law-abiding that he freely leaves a golden cup to be used at the public fountain and no one even thinks about taking it? And how there was also this little announcement about "every goodman and goodwoman knows better, so for those few oddlaws still thinking there is any chance for them in Vallah the punishment for thievery is amended from whipping to handcutting"? This is the first drop. He is going to crank up punishment for every small thing to ridiculous extremes, citing how it takes a ridiculously dedicated criminal to still want to do crime in Vallah... By the time he starts his conquest of Transbalkan for good, the pole is pretty much the only punishment left in the Vallah for any transgression whatsoever. And yes, that includes "not being a Vallah citizen" too."

"Still does not explain why you are taking this so personally." - she quips.

"It BOTHERS me." - I insist - "It's not like he does this because it gains him something. Or even because he can't be arsed to stop it. No, this is intentionally going out of his way and even taking losses just to have the most people die in a weirdly specific way. It bothers me a lot to be compared to someone like this."

"...Compared?" - she echoes and I stumble in my introspection. Why did I mention any comparisons...?

"..."

I do not know what to say here. Well... I DO. It's just that I really really really don't want to say this out loud to anyone I give a hoot about. Because when it comes down to it, I can be every byte as apathetic to human suffering as Vlad is. I'm just more practical about it. And admitting that much out loud weirds people out. Best case, they think I'm being an edgelord. Worst case, they take my admission at face value. Which tends to be inconvenient more often than not. Pretending to share a common morality is much less troublesome than casually ignoring it. Mind you, I'm probably flaunting contemporary morals enough as is, but insofar as I grasp the deviation logically, I take care to be outspoken about it. Basically being the medieval analog of woke. Well, before being woke became being cringe, I guess.

Digressing aside, I... gah, why am I waffling about this? I should have steered this conversation off long ago instead of letting Kathy goad me into saying something that let her pry. Shit, now I have to invent some plausibly-sounding touchy-feely explanation for this because she already has a hunch someone compared me to Vlad and she's gonna poke at it. Because I need reassurances or something??? Argh, at times I really really really wish I had some better grasp on how to people.

"Alyssa, I do not know who compared you to Tepesh, but I assure you, they were full of it." - she says firmly - "That being said, I have a distinct worry now that in your quest to put Tepesh down you just might become closer to him then you would ever want to. Why use poison, to begin with?"

I sigh. "I wanted them to commit to the attack, but I also wanted them to have no decent leadership while at it. A professional officer would have realized I lured them into the killzone after the first few volleys and ordered a retreat." - I explain - "If I blasted their camp outright, they might have gone back without attacking at all and maybe looked for targets of opportunities to avenge themselves on the way. If I hit them with something bad enough to wipe most of them at the camp, it would have left a notable... change in the lay of the land, let's put it like that. So I opted for something that cut down their leaders while leaving them hope that they can be recovered if only they rush us fast enough to get the antidotes or even just find out what kind of poison was used."

"...That presumes you wanted to kill the majority of their army. Why?" - she presses.

"What do you call a mercenary during peace times, Kathy?" - I smile at her mirthlessly - "A brigand."

Her expression falls.

"...I... want to object, but I also have to admit you are right." - she offers after a few seconds of contemplation - "I still maintain that this decision was maybe just a little bit too cold-blooded for my comfort, but... your reasoning is valid, unfortunately."

"Well, I... kind of need to establish my credentials as ruthless before I can expect people to surrender on the strength of my name alone." - I suggest - "If I tried to solve this with minimal bloodshed right now, what would be the assumption of all those folks with Stefan? That I elect to be diplomatic because I have no confidence in my martial capability? You have to be seen as strong to be afforded credibility for your mercy, you know."

She frowns. "Surely, your reputation by now is fearsome enough." - she rebuts - "You've brought the gods-bedamned Sultanate low, for crying out loud."

"Yeah, about that. Pretty sure Stefan had no idea, and even if I cared to brag, he would have assumed I'm telling tall tales." - I offer - "The only reason why YOU know it is so is because Klaus had verified things and you do trust his abilities as a spymaster. Around here, the only source of information about me right now would be Roxolane's family, and they have a lot of reasons to talk me up, you know? Everyone else is going to treat all those rumors about me with a spoonful of salt until they get some verification from merchants. So not until the next summer, give or take. Or, well, until I personally show up and do something awful to people they know, maybe even in their direct eyesight. That'll learn them right quick, but I actually have to do the aforementioned awful things for this to happen."

"So... the reasons why you decided to outdo Vlad Tepesh in bloodymindedness right now was to make sure he and his know you have the will to harm them?" - she repeats - "...Well, that and culling the potential brigands... Agh. No, look. I understand your reasons, I really do, but it still sits ill with me. As unpleasant as future Vlad sounds like, cutting him off at the knees by outdoing him at being unpleasant isn't really an improvement."

"Well, the plan is to focus the unpleasantness on a relatively limited crowd of people who deserve it way more than random levees would." - I suggest - "I'm rather loathe to try half-measures because I find the idea of undercutting the workforce of Vallah to be less then palatable, and if I let Vlad get even a smidgeon of an idea that I can be intimidated with numbers, he would round them all up and march them my way. So, yeah. I want him to think that throwing peasants at me will not even make me break my stride."

"And it won't bother you if they start burning your effigy each Year Unending?" - she quips sardonically.

"Bread and circuses, Kathy." - I suggest patiently - "It may sound odd, but proles as a rule of thumb tend to prefer the leaders that don't hesitate to show everyone the iron fist if needed, even if they prefer that fist to be within the velvet glove most of the time. I can easily fund some much-needed improvements around here to offset any negative impression that would matter for the masses. After all, spilling blood and spending gold is what everyone expects of the noble, n'est ce pas?"

"I... have a hunch it might be a little more complicated than that." - she hedges - "I mean, there's bound to be some people related to all those mercenaries you already killed. A lot of them, even. Won't their personal resentment trump any sort of goodwill you might earn with them through charities?"

"First of all, one does not become a mercenary out of the blue." - I explain - "There is a certain minimum one has to meet to afford the necessities of a profession. At the very least, one needs to own a weapon, a set of hardy clothes and some basic ability to fight within the formation. Peasant families tend to be pretty short on funds - the firstborn inherits the land so there are very few of them among mercenaries. Those pretty much only happen if the land inherited was somehow lost through war or other uncivilized means. Second and third sons are the bulk of the merc crowd, but the necessity of having some starter funds means that they're mostly from the more well-off families who could have possibly found them a cushier and safer job or separated from their family on less than amicable terms. What I am getting at is that even if the mercenary does have some relatives, there is a decent chance those relatives would actually be relieved to know the "black sheep" of their family had karked it. Second, the chances of Vallahian mercenaries having relatives right here where they were about to plunder... Do you really think that's common? It is generally understood that making mercenaries loot their own families is a very risky gamble. I daresay not even Stefan would be that foolhardy."

"What about your reputation in Vallah, then?" - she ripostes - "There's definitely going to be resentment over there."

"What about it?" - I shrug - "Honestly, I have more important concerns than opinions of foreign citizens of a hostile polity."

Katherine snickers mirthlessly. "MM... You sure about that?" - she muses - "Remember, you break it, you buy it. Works in throneroom just as well as at the market."

"Not my circus, not my clowns." - I reject the idea firmly -"Once Vlad is gone, they can figure out whom they want as their new ruler on their own."