Chapter 16. A Few Slow Days (Also Brand New Cheat – GET!)

After this remarkable morning, things calm down. King's commission presents no trouble - I have already devised the structure once, now I just reproduce it a number of times and set it into the wooden planks, which are then polished and coated. I'm cheating on coating, just like anywhere else, it's just a layer of tar with finely ground lapis lasuli as the filler being flash-dried on the surface like a varnish. The result, however, is pretty remarkable - the combination of yellow pine with blue lapis lasuli brings out a vibrant green on the surface. Which is very unusual of a color for wood, but matches pretty well the green of copper. To make things easier, I etch a number into each pair of receivers, from zero to nine. Yes, I used to be a programmer, among other things.

Sending them back to king goes off without hitch. And... that's where things get really slow for several days. Ed continues to avoid me studiously. Alistair is being his gallant self, dispensing pleasantries as he goes but never letting anything worthwhile slip. Honestly, he's ridiculously good with keeping secrets, when he wants to. Hiram is a no-show. He poked in once, inspected his room and vanished somewhere. A manservant of his is in occupation, so I'm guessing Hiram is stuck in the castle doing diplomatic overtures and token appearances. Selene had gone quiet. When we meet in the halls, she looks wary, but hasn't tried speaking to me again. The idle gossip I've collected indicates she's keeping low. In part because after the unsuccessful demarches earlier people started asking uncomfortable questions about her hostility, questions she had no good answers for. In other part because I'm nowhere near how she expected me to behave, which apparently included the stereotypical "evil noblewoman laugh" and attempts at petty sabotage. No idea why she thinks I'd target her so early, she hasn't even spoken with Ed so far.

What worries me the most, however, is that Moon Unit decided to maintain some distance. Oh, we still meet and exchange pleasantries in the hall, but she professes to be busy whenever I venture any suggestions of spending time together. I did attempt to clarify the situation, but all I got back was a plea to give her a few days to "deal with it". I'm not sure what IT is, but if IT persists much longer, I might start entertaining concepticidal notions towards IT. Whatever IT is.

I'm in a foul mood because of it. Thankfully, I have a distraction - the king had sent a second commission. He wants four of eight-point systems and eight of six-point, four-point and three-point ones. And twenty more of point-to-point connector pairs. And a separate six-point system which, if I am reading the hints right, is actually intended to be used by the royal family as their personal family line to each other, because the wood I'm provided for that one is abonos. Aka, the top grade bogwood, which is stupidly complicated to obtain. I'm in the process of cutting copper, using a conjured piece of carbide-edged osmium. Extravagant, but bad mood in shoggoth equals magical outbursts, so conjuring rare metals was actually pretty therapeutic. Fusing enough of carbon into it was even more satisfying. Combine with me having the strength on demand, well... Bridgit took one look at me slicing up a slab of copper like a butter stick, went pale and departed to the far side of the room. I guess the accompanying effects were a little too much - there's been sparking, the odor of vaporized copper and an occasional microblast from copper steam build up.

And... I fumble the last sliver and instead of it, the blade chops into my hand. Ow. Pretty solid hit, actually, I seem to have severed all the fingers except for the thumb. Aaand that's when I hear quick thumping of steps behind my back. Shit shit shit shit shit! I push the new fingers out frantically, giving my newly reconstructed hand a flex. Looks normal, works normal... Taking a stock of Bridgit's expression, she saw it. Damn.

"Mistress...." - she begins worriedly.

"I'm fine. Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about." - I reply quickly. I'd smile, but I have a gut feeling that the resulting expression would be... less than reassuring.

"So you didn't cut off your fingers just now?" - she asks suspiciously.

"Nope. No. What fingers? No missing fingers. See?" - flex my hand in front of her.

"Soooo if I look behind this huge metalcutting knife, I won't see a bunch of severed fingers behind it?" - she drawls, as she leans over to do just THAT! I... do something. I'm not sure what I tried to do, but when she looks there, what glances back at her is a spider-like thing with an eyeball for a body. Naturally, she shrieks and falls over on her ass. Or would have fallen if I didn't pull her away from the table.

"What in the name of gods is this!?" - she yelps, extending a shaking hand in the direction of the table. I glare at the eyeball spider and it runs off the table, jumps on the windowsill and vanishes outside. Apparently, just behind the window. And I have a nice view on the courtyard. And this is FUCKING RIDICULOUS. Because it's still an active part of me I can move like anything else even if it's not connected to me physically. What the... Just... WHAT. With this, I... well. Shit. This is an idea that just asks for testing. I direct the eyeball spider further into the dorms, sticking to the ceilings and far corners to avoid widespread panic, while in the same time reassuring my maid with obvious white lies that nothing is actually afoot. She, well... after the initial fright passes, she just huffs and tells me that I don't need to break the magic more than I already did and maybe need to take a pause and eat something before I go back to slashing copper. Then she makes a mistake of trying to pick up the osmium blade. Which, for obvious reasons, is stupidly heavy. Which leads to me yanking her off her feet to prevent the aforementioned blade from going right into her foot. And now I have to calm down frightened maid again. She's so lucky she's cute.

Right, so let's see. Whom I can spy on? The obvious target is dean Ambercrombe. But this is actually boring, he is sorting out papers for the academy's cafeteria purchases. Nothing I really care about. OK, how about Ed?... Oh, really? Ed, REALLY? You don't have time to meet your fiancée, but you're having tea with Selene in your room already? Heh. On one hand, I'm glad things on that front are processing. On the other, I'm sorely tempted to go burst in on them with Alistair in tow and a bunch of other witnesses to get the engagement broken early. Unfortunately, merely having tea is just a little bit not enough. She is, after all, a titled mage, which at her age is more than remarkable enough to get her an audience with the king, much less prince. (Note to self - persuade Moon Unit to be tested. She more than qualifies for title herself. Especially if the dream defilement really took.) Now if I caught them necking or something...

Actually, now that I know I can do this, why shouldn't I plant a bug on everyone of importance in the Academy? That would hive me quite a lot of forewarning about everything derpy they might think about. Not right now, though, I'm still giving headpats to Bridgit and she probably won't care at all if I suddenly start cutting off more fingers. Actually, come to think of it... Do I NEED to cut off anything? I stab out around the heel of my boot into the wood, a bit of flesh squeezing between the floorboards and, for the lack of better word, dripping in. Ok, this is an option. I can split off bits of myself at will, shape them into something mobile and send them out to monitor the situation in the Academy. Heh. Heheheh. AHAHAHAHAAA! Oh sheeeit, this is gonna get silly, I just know it. Just from spreading through the underfloor, I can already hear all sorts of rumors. And see all sorts of ... interesting moments.

...Why do I hear moaning from Moon Unit's room, come to think of it? It takes no time at all to divert a couple of "roaches" and clump them together into an eyeball spider. And then I peek in. OK, so... On one hand, now I know she's not in pain or coerced into doing things she'd rather not do. On the other, why in the name of all that is sane she's mauling her breasts and snatch while moaning my name? I mean, just... what the fuck, Moon Unit. Why exactly are you jilling off in your room if you clearly know you could've simply visited me and... Bah. This is silly. What IS her problem?

Taking advantage of Moon Unit being distracted, I snoop around her room. One odd thing that immediately catches my attention is a cheap brass pot on the floor next to the bed. Taking a look into it reveals... several bloodied undergarments. Really? All that because she was on a period and couldn't admit that to another girl... Wait, she did learn I'm a shoggoth. Maybe she assumed I am not privy to less than pleasant parts of a woman's life? Silly bean. I'll have to break it in somehow? Maybe try to catch her tonight and delay her long enough to "smell blood" on her? ...Except she'll probably implode from embarrassment. Fuckity fuck fuck. Oh well, at least I do know she still wants me. That's already quite a relief.

Putting my attention back to the main body, I tap Bridgit on the nose. She had been placed on my lap at some point of it to dispense appropriate headpats and backrubs. I guess it is understandable she would be distraught at the thought of me injuring myself. Flattering, that. "Feeling better, Bridgit?" - I quip. She sniffles and nods. Yeah, she ended up crying. Not my proudest moment. Nope. I'm... somewhat tempted to show to her just how impervious to damage I really am, but I'm honestly not sure she could take revelation on a good day. Doing so while she's emotionally distraught is just asking for a maid going loopy on me.

Now, let's see how much I can expand the bugging of the dorms... Oh. Oh hello here Lemand. I was wondering when you'll show up. Stuck in the library, as always? Now, I'm calling dibs on the girl you might have chances with, sorry pal, but I'll look out for someone who can share your interests. Preferably someone odd enough to contrast your bland nice guy looks. Really, for a man who's going to rip a portal to literal hell, you're looking way too blandly nice. Speaking of which... It might take a while to set up, but you're going to watch some movies. Just so you know what kind of a bad idea is percolating in your mind. Call it a favor.

Bridgit in the meanwhile had calmed enough to depart from me and go wash her face. While she's busy with that, I neaten up the work area and stack the copper on the table. I've had enough of that job for today, old Abe did stipulate he expects it would take me a week to make things, after all. Taking a quick stock of what we have, I set about putting together a strawberry smoothie. Well, two of them, because Bridgit will outright refuse a treat I'm not partaking in. It's pretty easy, too. Mostly wind magic to stir and chop, with a bit of ice magic to create the ice out of water to chill everything properly.

Hah. Bridgit is adorable with milk mustache. Yes, yes, I'm finding you cute. You should have thought about that before attacking the milkshake with such vigor. And now she's huffing at me. Cheering up - successful! I'd better give her a little bit of space now. Leaving my instructions for dinner, I depart on a midday walk. Nice to stretch my legs and everything... Oh, and here's Moon Unit. Who, interestingly enough, seems to be actually looking for me, for once. She quickly approaches and hugs my arm before offering - "Are you going on a walk?"

"Yes. Why, do you want to come with? I intend to stroll in the garden for a while, clear out my thoughts and lungs before dinner." - I offer back, and she nods excitedly.

Normally, I'd offer my elbow, but I'm feeling a little bit possessive right now. so instead, I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close. She gasps softly but goes along with it, her hand shyly coming to rest on my hip. Better. Much better. Gardens suddenly seem that much more brighter.

"...I'm sorry I wasn't available much the last few days, Alyssa. I wasn't feeling well." - she opens the conversation.

I have to chuckle. "I understand where you're coming from, but next time, consider that having someone to rub your belly while you're reading something on the couch will make feeling unwell that much more pleasant." - I offer.

"...Ngh." - is her answer to that. And a looooot of blushing. Well, here's hoping you will consider my words at least. She scrambles to change topic. "Alyssa, I was wondering something." - she ventures - "What exactly did you mean when you said TEKELI-LI!"

She goes wide-eyed and clamps both of her hands over her mouth, surprised at the eldritch sound she just uttered. Thankfully, the garden is empty, barring the two of us. Turning to face her properly, I put my hands on her shoulders and kiss her forehead. "It's not a word." - I explain with a bashful smile - "It's mating call." Aaand she beats all of her previous records at blushing once she comprehends.

"Oh gods, you mean I... you... I..." - she trails off and bites her lip, looking at me.

"Made me want to tear your clothes off and have my wicked ways with you right on the flowerbed here? Yes." - I finish for her - "Kindly don't do that in public places, I probably won't be able to restrain myself if you keep giving the call like this."

It would be probably more reassuring if her look was not quite so calculating right now.