4.42 – Ana III

It was unfortunate that she, of all people, had to initiate a genuine conversation. Of her talents, heart-to-heart discussions were most definitely not a specialty. Ana knew she thought, acted, and perceived things differently than most people—and so, naturally, social matters had always been a weak point. In fact, she suspected Natalie's awkwardness and uncomfortableness stemmed, at least in part, from Ana herself.

Though, maybe uncomfortable was too strong of a word. Natalie didn't seem to dislike her, or feel ill at ease around her. Ana didn't think Natalie wanted to exit the challenge but couldn't work up the nerve—it wasn't that extreme. But their unfamiliarity, and her aloof and analytical behavior, certainly didn't mesh with Natalie's passionate and direct nature.

That had been part of the reason Ana had taken up a dominating personality, earlier. It had been an intuitive response to Natalie's reactions, an attempt to give the woman some stability. Maybe if Ana acted confident, then Natalie would find comfort in that—Ana could be her anchor.

And it had worked, so she kept on with it. She considered herself practical above all else. She could be a leader, or a follower, or whoever else was needed for any given situation, so long as it worked toward her current goal. Hence, she had been fine with taking a dominant role over Natalie—with the intent Natalie drew strength from her.

Then things had escalated. Ana wouldn't have guessed that demeaning Natalie, man-handling her, and dirty-talking would be what the girl needed to 'be more comfortable' with the bizarre challenge of sucking her own cock, but it seemed to have done the job.

At least in the moment. Long term, it might have backfired. Ana's total lack of embarrassment might be making Natalie's even more prominent—her confidence siphoning Natalie's, rather than giving the other girl something to draw on.

But Ana wasn't sure. She didn't trust her theories on other people's behavior—she was far from a people person. And there was another more obvious reason for Natalie's embarrassment: the intrinsically mortifying nature of the event. It was more than plausible that Natalie was embarrassed simply because she had sucked her own cock. Ana personally didn't think it was that big of a deal, but Natalie's opinion obviously differed.

Again, Ana mused on how poorly fit she was to handle this situation. She could, at least, tell that her blank expression was making it harder for Natalie. Ana wasn't completely clueless as to what other people were thinking … only more than most. She even liked to play up that cluelessness for comical effect, because it gave her an excuse when she really did fail to notice something obvious. When she'd been younger, people had told her she looked confused a lot—which had oftentimes been true. She didn't understand why most people acted like they did. Only through scrutiny over the years had she even begun to understand. And since it was better to be aloof and analytical than confused, especially in political circles, Ana kept careful control of her reactions.

But she wondered whether showing some embarrassment, here, would be good for Natalie. Then again, her confidence had encouraged Natalie to complete the last challenge—and Natalie had seemed to quite like it, even. Plus, Ana's irreverence for the lewdness of the event might be one of the reasons Natalie wanted to keep pushing forward.

In short, Ana had no idea. This whole event was a mess, and she was terrible at reading people, so she didn't know how to continue. That said, in her opinion, they should press forward. This encounter was worth seeing through to any length—possibly even extreme ones. Their career already included slaughtering monsters, wading around in filth, and risking their lives, so while it was weird to suddenly have sexual encounters mixed into that, it didn't faze Ana much. She didn't really understand the big deal. People had always put way more importance on smashing their genitals together than Ana thought it deserved.

But, she acknowledged that her opinion—or even she in general—wasn't 'the normal one'. And she cared about what other people thought, especially her teammates. So she didn't want to state those opinions outright to Natalie, who was clearly hesitant about how far she wanted to pursue their bizarre circumstances. It might influence her to go farther than she would otherwise, and Ana didn't want that to happen. She would help Natalie work through any hesitance, but she had no intention of forcing her past any hard boundaries.

The swapped bodies made things even messier. Even Ana's own emotions had gotten a bit twisted up, seeing Natalie wear her own face to suck her newly-acquired cock dry. Ana had never expected to know what her own mouth and tongue would feel like against her cock, and she also hadn't expected to like it so much. Seeing how she knew she was rather indifferent on many sexual matters that others found mortifying, that even she felt a few confusing emotions swirling around indicated that a normal person—like Natalie—would be a complete mess.

Ana shook her thoughts clear. Despite this being a disaster, and Natalie's clear aversion to talking it out, they needed to have a conversation. Ana didn't trust her social judgment enough to hope things worked out. This was too important for that.

So, it was up to her to draw Natalie's honest thoughts out. Get more than her implied permission—and have her state outright that she was enjoying herself. That she wanted more of her—or Ana's, if she wanted to think of it that way—cock, and that she wasn't simply trudging along because Ana herself insisted on doing so.

Ahead of her, Natalie had advanced to the door, grabbing the handle as she was about to move to the next room. With no more time to muse over her unfortunately perplexing circumstances, Ana interrupted her.

"We should talk."

Natalie paused, then turned back with a curious look. "About what?"

"Us. And what's coming up."

Natalie's expression shifted into something she couldn't entirely decipher. Not for the first time, Ana wished people weren't so difficult to read. She acknowledged the irony there. She was often told she was the hard one to read. But that had been a defense mechanism developed because she herself found people confusing.

"I already said that there's no point," Natalie said. "We'll deal with it when we get there." She twisted the handle, making to continue.

"I disagree," Ana said firmly. "And I'm not moving to the next room until I'm comfortable that we've worked something out."

That, oddly, drew a stronger reaction from Natalie than Ana would have expected. She stiffened, then faced Ana, brow furrowing in concern.

"You're … not comfortable with this?" Natalie asked slowly.

It took Ana a second to understand the sudden worry, but she eventually did. Natalie was more concerned about Ana than herself—as soon as there'd been an implication Ana didn't want to continue, she'd taken the situation deadly serious. Never mind her own obvious internal conflict. If Ana had even the slightest hesitations, then this was suddenly a serious situation. It was a sweet, if frustrating, trait.

But maybe that was how Ana should phrase all of this, then. Focus the discussion on herself, not Natalie.

"Not without knowing where you stand, I'm not," Ana said. "I'm perfectly fine abandoning this series of challenges, but I'm not fine with damaging a relationship with a teammate—or inadvertently coercing you into something you don't want."

The first half of that statement was a lie. Ana was most decidedly not okay with abandoning such an absurdly lucrative venture. But the second half was firmly true; if Natalie didn't want to continue, then Ana didn't. It would cause far worse damage to their team in the long term than taking things slow and easing into Natalie's class.

And more than that, she did care about Natalie's well-being. Ana knew she could be coldly analytical about things, but she wasn't heartless. She cared about her teammates. Especially ones who had been so friendly to her. Ana had frankly not expected to make friends at Tenet—and she likely wouldn't have, if not for Elizabeth. So she would rather not mess that up, amazing loot or not.

Irritation appeared on Natalie's face. "You're not coercing me into anything," she said hotly. "I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and if I don't want to do something, I can say so."

The heat behind the words assuaged the worst of Ana's worries. But not all of them.

"Nonetheless, I won't be comfortable until we talk about what happened, and what's coming up deeper into the dungeon. I need to know what you're okay with. Your boundaries."

"We'll figure it out when—"

"We'll figure it out now," Ana said firmly. "Or I'm climbing up that ladder."

At the lack of give in her voice, Natalie's eyebrows went up. She didn't seem pleased. She stepped away from the door, hand thankfully leaving the door handle, but only for her to cross her arms—body language plainly displaying irritation. Ana was bad at reading people, but not that bad.

"Fine," Natalie said shortly. "But if you want to do this so badly, then you start. What are you okay with? How far are you willing to go?" She narrowed her eyes. "And why aren't you reacting to any of this? I mean, really! None of this is the least bit disorienting?"

Outrage was a good first step, Ana supposed.

But her boundaries? They didn't really exist, or at least were far, far above Natalie's, to the point of not being worth talking about. Certainly, the idea of outright sex—which Ana expected to be coming soon, or if not soon, then eventually—didn't faze her in the slightest.

But how did Ana say that tactfully, without putting Natalie off?