77. Clan Moot
It’s the second day post-Konoha Crush, after the Hokage’s funeral. It’s raining outside.
I’m sitting at a round table with my father, Shibi, and my retainer Imomushi standing behind me. Sitting on my left is Tsume Inuzuka with Hana standing behind her. To my right is Inoichi Yamanaka with Santa (not the jolly one) and Ino behind him. You don’t typically bring a Genin to a meeting of this level, making my own presence almost laughable, unless there are extenuating circumstances. Imomushi has long since filed the paperwork for my ascension to clan head (including Choko’s abdication signature) and got everything squared away in advance so as not to surprise anyone with my appearance here.
On the opposite side of the table are Shikaku Nara, Choza Akimichi, Hiashi Hyuga, Asuma Sarutobe, and their entourages. There are other clans in Konoha, but most of them are too small or wield too little power to make an appearance.
It’s a room full of Jonin, up-and-comers, and people with political influence in the Village. Then Danzo walks in.
He’s playing the part of a frail, old man with an x-shaped scar on his chin, walking with a cane he doesn’t actually need. Black, shaggy hair pokes out the top of the bandages covering his forehead and right eye—concealing a stolen Sharingan underneath. The black robe he wears partially covers his white shirt, left arm in the open while his right arm hides in the folds. I know his right arm is bandaged and covered with three large metallic braces to keep his abominable secret… an arm injected with the First Hokage’s cells, Hasirama’s face protruding from the shoulder (that’s the kind of shit I don’t want happening to my girls), and ten more Sharingan taken from bodies found after the Uchiha massacre embedded in the flesh of his forearm.
I keep my mouth shut, as what he’s doing isn’t precisely illegal, just distasteful. He can justify it all day by saying he’s making a ‘sacrifice’ of his body for the Village to use in dire emergencies. Nevermind he got the Wood Release injection from Orochimaru and didn’t use any of those trump cards during the Konoha Crush, but I’m the one whose clan is facing censure!
Behind him are Torune Aburame and Fu Yamanaka, Danzo’s elite bodyguards. Torune doesn’t even meet my eyes despite me being his brother by adoption into our family. Damn, that dude must be thoroughly brainwashed by now.
“Now that the Shimura clan head is present, we can begin,” Shikaku Nara announces. Thankfully, I’m not as surprised now as I was a few hours ago when Imomushi gave me my pre-meeting briefing, giving me time to prepare. She’s a great secretary. “The purpose of this meeting is to determine the fault of the Aburame clan’s lack of participation in the recent attack on Konohagakure. If fault is established, the Aburame clan will offer reparations to the clans who shouldered that burden in their place or face censure.”
This goes back to the founding of Konoha. To cut a long story short, the Senju and Uchiha clans entered a mutual defense pact, thus forming the first shinobi village. When other clans saw they had a sweet thing going, they either joined in that same pact or formed their own alliances elsewhere (forming the other Hidden Villages). Naturally, it’s easy to see why there’d be consequences for not abiding by that pact.
“The Aburame clan admits fault,” I say when everyone turns to me. Regardless of my personal involvement, I’m taking responsibility for the previous administration. Imomushi circles the table to provide Shikaku with a stack of documents to be shared with the other clan heads detailing Choko’s misdeeds. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before since I gave everything to Kakashi earlier, but this is the ‘official’ submission of the articles.
Danzo’s power and connections allowed him to shrug off whatever connections to my clan’s illicit acts I was able to document without forcing Konoha to execute my stepmom. It didn’t help his bid to become the Fifth Hokage, though, judging by the sour expression on his face and the glares in his direction from around the table.
Shikaku flips through the pages quickly before nodding, “Everything seems to be in order. How will the Aburame clan offer compensation?”
Usually, a kerfuffle of this magnitude would bankrupt a clan, or we’d be forced to make any number of secret jutsu public knowledge—essentially gutting the clan’s source of strength. We might offer the services of several Jonin on a contractual basis, which would also ruin us since they bring in the most money and prestige in the form of completing A and S-rank missions. There is one thing, however, that a clan guards even more fiercely than their resources or jutsu…
“We’re prepared to offer each clan a Kekkei Genkai Bloodline of their choice from the following selection…” I lay my cards on the table. “Sharingan, Ice Release, Magnet Release, Amalgam, or Macabre Bone Pulse.”
While it’s true the Magnet Release belongs to Sunagakure, stealing Kekkei Genkai the ‘old-fashioned way’ is a classic kunoichi move that nobody present will bat an eyelid at.
The Byakugan, on the other hand, is proprietary. It’s one thing to marry Hinata and have kids with her, but I’d be offending the Hyuga clan by offering it to the other clans like I’m giving away candy on Halloween. Also, the Dormant Lesser Wood Release plus Hashirama cells culture is way too dangerous to spread around. I don’t want to have hundreds or thousands of deaths by tree-cancer on my head, so best to keep that one close to my chest as long as possible.
Every set of eyes besides those on my side of the table bulges almost out of their sockets. I can see each of them doing mental calculus to determine which bloodline would go best with their clan’s jutsu. I guess Danzo has a good poker face, but even he looks incredulous underneath the stony façade.
“Is that really possible?” Shikaku asks the obvious question.
“It is,” Tsume responds instantly and without reservation. We won’t have absolute proof until my offspring are born, but she at least has become a true believer and put all her trust in me.
“There’s an abstract outlining the Aburame clan’s research into genetics in the stack there if you care to look. The details are, of course, not for sale, but rest assured we have every reason to believe our clan’s secret jutsu will function as intended.” I project confidence, having felt firsthand how my Deep Dweller sorts through bloodlines and inserts them into my seed.
“That’s another matter,” Hiashi objects this time, “How do we know this jutsu won’t be forbidden by the next Hokage?”
I nod in acquiescence before giving the response I prepared in advance for the second obvious question, “While I don’t presume to know the mind of whoever accepts the position of Fifth Hokage, I don’t believe the Aburame clan’s Deep Dweller meets the criteria to be ‘forbidden.’ It requires neither the deaths of the user or recipient nor directly causes large-scale destruction. I’d even argue it doesn’t violate the laws of nature; we’re only talking about a more expedient version of what kunoichi have been doing for centuries. It’s simply a ninja tool augmenting the art of seduction.”
Shikaku scoffs, no fool he, “It’s far more than that.”
Shrugging, I evade, “What you’re thinking of is a separate issue. We’re only discussing bloodlines here, today.”
“Let’s get on with it,” Tsume says, “The Inuzuka clan is in favor of the Aburame clan’s proposal.” She turns to me and whispers, “You owe me a freebie.”
I grin in response. The cheek of this woman, squeezing another bloodline out of me outside our arrangement! I love it.
“So is the Yamanaka clan,” Inoichi says. I had some explaining to do with him, but Ino stood up for me. With his daughter on my side, he came around eventually. I do have to make an honest woman out of Ino, but we agreed our eventual offspring will be Yamanaka clan. I guess that’ll make me the ‘woman’ in our lesbian marriage. Whatever, lol, it’s fine.
The others quickly cave to their avarice and comply with a unanimous vote in favor. Even Danzo looks slightly less upset. Hard to stay angry when he’s finally getting a return on all the under-the-table investing he did in the Aburame clan.
“You’re free to change your minds until that last second but, out of curiosity, what caught your interests?” I ask.
“The Boner Pulse,” Tsume says, getting the ball rolling with an answer I already knew.
“Ice Release,” Inoichi states, ignoring Tsume’s lewd attempt at humor.
Interesting. I can see the appeal for Yamanaka ninja working outside of an ino-shika-cho formation. Being able to surround one’s enemies with Crystal Ice Mirrors would make their signature move, the Mind Body Switch, harder to evade. It’d also give them a secure place inside the hard ice of the mirrors to hide their body if they miss. Overall, it’d be a huge boost to their combat potential.
Also, Ino will make a great mother, and I promised Haku their bloodline descendants would be loved.
“How does the Amalgam jutsu work?” Choza Akimichi asks.
“Two ninjas can share one body or split as desired, sharing the sensation of touch but not sight or hearing unless they manifest their head, doubling or tripling attack power by manifesting arms and legs, and the ability to heal the partner inside them with a significant chakra expenditure,” I explain.
“Mmm. That, then.”
Being a Yang, body-manipulating jutsu specialist clan, I can see the obvious appeal both offensively and defensively.
“And the hidden partner is concealed?” Shikaku further probes.
I see where he’s going and tap a finger to my right palm. A third arm manifests, splitting from mine to demonstrate. I basically never leave home without one of my girls in tow.
Eyebrows go up.
Shikaku nods and turns to his old buddy, Choza, who gives a ‘here we go again’ smile in return. “The Nara clan will also take the Amalgam bloodline.”
It seems the Nara and Akimichi clans will honor the old alliance and further bond. They want to send out their next generation as partners. Good choice, overall, as I can imagine the threat a Shikamaru able to manifest from a Choji at-will could potentially pose.
“Magnet Release,” Asuma says next.
I can see that too. Asuma and the Sarutobe clan are good, if basic, ninjas who rely on fundamental skills. Their signature jutsu is a Fire Release flame attack, but they use a variety of metallic ninja tools in their fighting style. In the Anime, one of Sasuke’s techniques, called Manipulating Windmill Triple Blades, used wire tied to shuriken to entangle a target before sending Fire Release: Dragon Fire along the length of the string as a guide. Maybe they could pull something cool like that using Magnet release on the weapons and wires?
“Sharingan bloodline,” Hiashi says, confident in his choice. I know firsthand how great the combination of the Sharingan and Byakugan is, so I don’t second-guess his choice in the least.
“The Shimura clan requests a Sharingan.”
“You mean the bloodline, right?”
Danzo opens his eye a crack to stare me down. Then he shakes his head, “No. I know you can produce the article itself.”
“Why not just do that for everyone, then?” Choza asks, confused.
“Your body would reject the implant. It’d be like contracting an autoimmune disorder,” I explain to the other clan heads. “Only the user of the Deep Dweller, and perhaps a random Aburame clan member or two, are fully compatible.”
“And yet,” Shikaku observes with a sly grin, “I recognized that arm. You’ve got Tenten-chan in there as your partner.”
Sheesh, I didn’t intend to open this can of worms.
I sigh. “To be fully open and honest, the Amalgam allows a limited work-around. By merging with others, I can share a portion of my immune response blockers, thereby increasing their compatibility for implants.” Then I fold my arms in defiance. “But I’m not a battery to be used and abused all day and night empowering the whole Village, even if my blood could stretch that far.”
“That would be an unreasonable demand,” Shikaku admits. “I don’t suppose there are any other members of the Aburame clan compatible with the Amalgam?”
I… haven’t looked into that.
“It’s possible another ‘Ring’ could be started, I suppose,” I say, hedging, “Of course, I’ll make you all aware if such an individual is found.”
“Of course,” Shikaku agrees easily enough.
“Regardless,” Danzo says, regaining control of the conversation, “As it seems other clans will bear the burden of the Uchiha bloodline, the Shimura clan will accept a Sharingan eye. Immune-suppressing medicines exist.” I don’t like that option for my women or friends, as it comes with obvious costs to one’s health. Also, it’s not an issue for Danzo personally because he has the Hashirama arm acting as intermediary. “Also, in the heat of battle, a last resort can save one’s life. Even if not, what does a single life matter compared to the safety of the Village?”
“Well said.” Hiashi gives an emphatic nod.
It seems I underestimated these old farts. I don’t doubt any one of them would pay the ultimate price for an emergency Kekkei Genkai if the fate of the Village was on the line.
Before they start to debate the merits of either option, I break back into the dialogue, “There’s no reason you can’t have both or more than one bloodline. It’s only the first that I’m giving away as compensation.”
The full implications of the situation finally dawn on the men present.
Yep, count on Danzo to see the big picture before I make the big reveal. Good thing he doesn’t know the Ice and Magnet Templates make non-invasive insects… athough that too is a matter of time. Eventually, the plan is to sell them off to the highest bidder, allowing the Village to churn out dozens of Kekkei Genkai users in a matter of years. Despite wanting to keep them within Konoha, I know that this new form of ninja tool will be a game changer, and that it will leak out into the wider world one day through theft or bad actors. In the end, I can’t control what’s done with my Template bugs, only their production and initial distribution.
“You’re not allowed to set the price so high as to bankrupt the clans,” Hiashi states with a grim frown. “That will spark a civil war.” He knows I’m about to get rich off of this, too.
I counter, “You wouldn’t force me to sell my body for free, though, right? That’s just rape.”
They don’t flinch at the extreme example, but I knew they were hard men. “There must be a price that would satisfy all parties. This changes everything; we could be starting a new golden age for Konoha,” Shikaku says, pacifying the room and trying to lighten the mood.
“I’m sure we can come to an arrangement~” I flash a devilish grin knowing I’ve finally got them all where I want them. The moola I rake in from this will make last night’s Asuma Apology party look like pocket change! “The other caveat on this deal, obviously, is that your clans have to provide the women.”
That causes a stir (far more than asking them to sacrifice their health or lives) as it clicks in the men’s lizard-brains what they’d be asking of their families.
To my surprise, it’s Hiashi who takes the first metaphorical step forward, “This is not something we can ask of our sisters, nieces, and granddaughters without having first given of ourselves. We must show our determination as men, as leaders, as protectors of the Village.” Shikaku, Choza, and Asuma all have manly unshed tears twinkling in their eyes. Inoichi thought he was safe but now looks like he just bit into a lemon. “I will speak with my wife,” Hiashi finishes.
Hinata’s mom!?! I blush.
Ino stares daggers at me as she comes to a specific logical conclusion, but I refuse to meet her eyes.
Tsume cackles.
Then Danzo snaps his fingers. A figure appears in a puff of smoke that clears to reveal a slender young woman with short, straight hair black as night, deep, dark eyes, ink-black lipstick, and skin as pale as skim milk. Her face is androgynous but her hips don’t lie, and she’s got perky C-cup breasts. She’s wearing a small pack off the hip, a short black-and-grey jacket with red straps, a high-collared midriff-bearing shirt, black pants, and gloves with her index and thumb fingers exposed. She’s got a tanto (short sword) on her back and a Konoha forehead protector in its proper place.
If I squint just right, she resembles a female version of Sasuke. Wait. That insincere smile…
IS THAT SAI?!?
I choke and gasp to catch my breath.
“I’ll serve as the Shimura liaison to the Aburame clan,” ‘Saiko’ says in a monotone, almost lifeless voice devoid of emotion.
Danzo harrumphs as he sees my eyes are glued to the young woman’s chest, “As expected. I guessed your proclivities given how you’ve swept up all the young kunoichi. Additional vessels are not an issue.”
He snaps his fingers again.
Both Torune Aburame and Fu Yamanaka then Transform before our eyes into ‘sexy’ female versions of themselves with huge tits practically bursting out of their clothes, making the eyes of the men in the room (and mine) bulge almost out of their sockets as many a nose runs red.
Fucking hell, Danzo! Damn, he really did come prepared! Even knowing him for a schemer, I never imagined he’d sink to such a low—demanding his subordinates switch sexes! “N-now, wait just a minute! I reserve the right to refuse doing business with anyone at my discretion. You can’t just pump me for infinite Sharingans.”
“Why not?” Shikaku asks with a shrug. “You’d need a good reason to refuse someone in decent standing with the Village. Especially someone so dedicated to working for its defense.” He gives Danzo a little stink-eye but comes down on the old man’s side anyway.
Yeesh! What am I supposed to do—Not fuck sexy women???
Danzo is my enemy, no question. And yet, it looks like I’ll be fueling the fires of machinations at this rate.
At least he can’t use them the way my girls can without repercussions. Any Root agent who decides to load up with my body-modification insects will dramatically shorten their lifespan. It’s not like you can instantly pick up Bone Pulse at Kimimaro’s level; it and the other Kekkei Genkai must be extensively trained with for effective use, which means you can’t easily limit your length of exposure.
At the same time, I know they’ll do it. Danzo’s Root agency is not shy of sacrificing their lives for the cause. The ‘butterfly effect’ on this could be bad…
“Hmm, but who should I ask…?” Asuma wonders aloud.
Just then, a ceiling tile falls, followed by a mysterious figure Body Flickering into the room and landing on the table. “My name is Sarutobe Konohamaru, and I’m going to make my grandad proud! I’m turning eighteen soon, so I’ll be the one to sacrifice my body on behalf of the clan!”
I’ve actually seen Konohamaru around before, and just not taken special notice of him since his existence is limited to ‘minor character’ status. I previously described him as a ‘kid,’ which is not inaccurate. The young man before us is a late-teen for sure, just like how Kishimoto-san aged down the rest of the main cast of the story to appeal to young readers. I guess it didn’t register with me when I saw him in person for the first time that he was only a year behind Naruto’s class.
“K-K-Konohamaru-kun!?! B-b-but y-you’re…” Asuma objects.
“If Naruto-kun can do it, then so can I! Sexy Jutsu!!!”
Konohamaruko appears in a puff of smoke, revealing a more ‘sexy’ figure. She has long brown hair and a pinup’s body, wearing a blue bikini and a very, very long blue scarf. The jailbait takes a provocative pose with her B-cup tits thrust out at her male viewership.
The meeting devolves from there and pretty much nothing else gets done before I’m dismissed.
Harumph! I didn’t even get to make my proposal for legalizing polygamy…