4. Academy Graduation

I’m able to get a pair of Pheromone Insects implanted without incident. I adamantly refuse any offer of a ‘demonstration.’ Despite Choko Aburame’s attempts to get me alone and ‘apologize,’ I’m able to fend off any further attempts at ‘education’ or any ‘tutorials’ for the Deep Dwelling Insect. That woman won’t be sinking her claws any deeper into me before I have a chance to beat her at her own game.

Much later, after a lot of practice.

One of the branch families sends me a document explaining how to use both of my new insects. After several days of growth, my Deep Dweller connects with my ovaries and essentially takes control of my womb. As with other Aburame insects, my chakra gives me complete mastery over the Deep Dweller.

First benefit: no periods. Hurray!

Second benefit: I can’t get pregnant. A huge boon for a kunoichi looking to advance through seduction. I might feel bad if I were born a woman but… Why carry a child when you can have bitches do it for you?

Third benefit: I can turn my eggs into sperm and impregnate women. Futanari for the win!

Fourth benefit: I can sift through genetic material in my uterus to select for specific bloodline factors and incorporate it into a batch of sperm. Historically, the Aburame clan used this ability to breed ninjas compatible with the more dangerous insect varieties like Torune’s nano-bugs. More practically, I can extract traits like hair color, blood type, or Kekkei Genkai from semen.

Fifth benefit: I can create mutated Dweller Insects. Instead of impregnating a woman with my sperm, I can implant a larval Dweller infused with a Kekkei Genkai. After she carries it to term, the woman gives birth to a body-modifying insect that I can use. Unfortunately, the chances of other Aburame clan members being compatible with the mutated Dweller are low. That’s why Choko got so excited that I could use two Dweller-type insects created by another Aburame.

There’s also a ‘Blank’ larva I can deliver which extracts the Kekkei Genkai from a woman’s unfertilized egg, so I don’t have to rely on semen.

To recap, I have the Parasitic Destruction Insect Technique, an Insect Pheromone genjutsu, and the Deep Dweller on top of my basic ninja skills. Now, with my arsenal established, I need to figure out where the heck I am in Naruto’s plot.

Since I’m eighteen, we should be well into the later Anime seasons.

Not!

I’m graduating from the Academy in a few days, which puts me at the start of episode 1.

What the hell, Kishimoto-san? How could you get something so simple like that totally wrong? I guess it makes more sense to have potential ninjas graduate high school, then become Genin, which is basically an apprenticeship program. Maybe he changed the characters’ ages to appeal to a younger demographic?

Genin are the lowest rank of ninja, Chunin are the next up, followed by the Village’s elite Jonin (there’s also Tokujo, or special elites, but they’re ‘special’ as in a step below Jonin) with the head of the ninja Village, or ‘Kage,’ at the top. Naruto’s dream (believe it) is to become our Village’s leader, the Hokage (Fire Shadow), and be recognized by everyone.

Hmm, I should probably set myself some personal goals. If I’m going to surpass Anime-Shino, I need to get my hands on some broken-ass ninja powers. Seducing a Jonin would be an S to SSS-rank mission for me and is out of the question for now.

I hate to admit that means Sasuke, last of the Uchiha and his highness the Edgelord Supreme, is my number one target. Their clan’s ocular jutsu is top-of-the-line pre time-skip. In terms of availability, everything I’d consider stronger than the basic Sharingan is out of reach or not something I can copy (like Naruto’s sealed nine-tailed fox).

The problem is Sasuke never showed interest in girls in the Anime. He’s too obsessed with revenge on his brother. Between that and him being one of the most capable ninjas in class, I’d say he’s an A-rank seduction. (Kakashi the copy ninja got his Sharingan from an organ donor, so that’s a no-go)

Target number two is the Byakugan, the second best ocular jutsu in Konoha. That means going after one of the Hyuga clan. No fucking way am I doing Neji when I could have Hinata! Fuck Neji. I’d rate Hinata as a B-rank seduction. Her shyness and interest in Naruto are obstacles, but I’m confident I can overcome them given time.

Unfortunately, my other classmates’ ninja abilities are techniques, not bloodline powers. That doesn’t mean they aren’t worth seducing. I’m going to need women to incubate my Dwellers once I have a Kekkei Genkai ready to copy.

Sakura and Ino are both B-rank seductions. Their narrow-minded focus on Sasuke makes them difficult to approach. If I can defeat Sasuke in some capacity that could elevate me in their eyes, but that’s easier said than done. The secondary problem with Sakura is she’s tied into the plot fairly tightly.

Now, I don’t have an issue with going off script from the Anime, but if things deviate too far because of me then I’ll lose my biggest advantage! Going off the rails means I’ll be clueless about what happens next. Best to leave Sakura for last among the Konoha kunoichi.

For reference on the guys: Shikamaru the shadow-manipulator is A-rank; max effort for minimal reward. He’d just lay in bed during sex and make me do all the work.

Rock Lee the taijutsu specialist is also A-rank with extra added danger. If I approached Lee normally I could get friend-zoned or become a rival, and he definitely has a thing for Sakura. If I use my Pheromones… well, he went on a rampage after a single sip of alcohol so what happens when he gets horny? I might be biting off more than I can chew with that guy.

Kiba the dog trainer and Choji the human wrecking ball are both D-rank. Choji would accept any dinner date offer and Kiba would say yes if I straight-up asked for sex. No subtlety necessary.

My first choice is Tenten, the ninja-weapons collector. C-rank seduction. Friendly, not romantically attached to anyone, and nothing I remember from the Anime makes me think she’ll be difficult to approach. Plus, I think she’s a lesbian. She’s that cute and no boyfriend? Never marries or has kids? Come on.

Anyway, I need to graduate for my plan to work. Having lived as Shino for eighteen years, I can do a normal day at the Academy relying on this body’s autopilot. Then I keep a metal washtub jammed above my bedroom door at night. Several times I wake to the clanging of it hitting a certain futanari bedroom invader who retreats before I can turn the light on.

Days pass and the plot plays out.

We take the finals, and Naruto fails the exam. He learns the Shadow Clone Jutsu somewhere offscreen and gets his mentor, Iruka’s approval to graduate from the Academy.

Naruto shows up when they’re dividing the graduates into teams, surprising everyone but me with his presence. When he sits next to Sasuke by happenstance, Sakura insists on taking his spot to get closer to her crush. Feeling jealous of the attention being given to a rival, Naruto hops up on a desk and gets in Sasuke’s face to provoke a reaction. When the loner glares at him, Naruto leans in to be practically nose-to-nose with the Uchiha boy.

Then a neighboring graduate bumps into Naruto from behind, pushing him into Sasuke, and they lock lips in an epic smooch that launched a thousand ships.

They’re quick to do a spit-take and loudly complain about the accident, but do they ‘doth protest too much?’ Now, Naruto has had a crush on Sakura from day one, but could he have some latent bisexuality? I just said Sasuke never showed an interest in women, so I wouldn’t put it past that guy to swing the other way…

Then Sakura beats the shit out of Naruto for stealing her crush’s first kiss. Ahh, unrequited love.

Anyhoo, we’re split into three-man teams, each led by a Jonin who acts as both teacher, team leader, and a bailout when we get in too much trouble. However, that’s actually a major issue for my plans. I can’t exactly go wherever I please and take whatever Kekkei Genkai I want to steal while watching over my shoulder for a supervisor who’s two ranks above me. Keeping us in line and stopping us from straying is part of their mission.

My teammates are Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuga, and our Jonin sensei is Kurenai Yuhi, an illusion specialist. We separate from the other Genin to have a quick meet and greet.

“And what are your ambitions, as ninjas?” Kurenai asks us after introductions.

Kiba is the first to answer her question, “That’s easy. Akamaru and I are going to make the Inuzuka clan proud!” The ninken yips excitedly and Kiba pats his dog’s head. “Right; and show mom she doesn’t need to worry about me after my asshole dad left her.”

Momma’s boy? Huh, I guess Tsume is single… and doesn’t he have a sister?

No! +S-rank targets are off-limits for now. Stick to the plan.

Hinata hesitates, knees together, head lowered, then bites her lip and forces herself to answer. She’s wearing a fur-hemmed cream hoodie with navy blue pants and her forehead protector hanging from her neck. “I… I want to t-thank a certain someone for s-saving me a long time ago.”

Yeah, she has it bad for Naruto.

It takes all my willpower to resist shouting that my dream is to assemble an unrivaled harem of kunoichi! Seeing how two of the women present are my targets, that wouldn’t further my goals.

I adjust my dark glasses. “I intend to make the Aburame clan number one in Konoha.”

While I don’t know what Anime-Shino would’ve said here, I intend to stay in character whenever possible. The butterfly effect is real. The fact I’m still in Team 8 shows we haven’t deviated from canon yet, but I have no reason to believe this plot is on rails!

I tell myself to be patient. I have just a few days to enact my plans while Naruto does D-rank missions.

I need to get a ticket to the Land of Waves!

At this point, we’re officially Genin.

The Anime only showed Kakashi’s test for Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, but I took Kurenai’s. Anything Anime-Shino did, I can match. Thankfully, Kurenai’s Genin exam is just a basic obstacle course plus genjutsu traps. Not even Hinata had much trouble with it, not that I’m looking down on her. Hinata is super cute when she’s focused.

Apparently, 66% of the Academy graduates fail this thing, though.

“That wasn’t so hard,” Kiba says, hands behind his head, and Akamaru barks in agreement. The white-furred ninja dog is barely more than a puppy at this point. All three of us on Team 8, plus mutt, are on our return walk from Kurenai’s test.

“Um, I think a lot of our classmates failed their Genin test, Kiba-kun,” Hinata says, her light and breathy voice barely audible. “And we almost failed. Twice.”

I suppose those genjutsu traps were pretty rough. “Hinata’s right, Kiba-kun, you got lucky. I mean, seriously, you’re the only Genin in our year with two hot kunoichi on his team. Isn’t that like winning the lottery?”

Hinata blushes at my comment. So much for staying in character! Me and my big mouth.

Kiba snorts. “I guess. I hadn’t really thought about that, but it’s not a big deal or anything.”

Not a big deal? Not a big deal??? How dare he insult my pride as a woman! I mean, I’m still a man inside, but this gender-flipped Shino’s body is super sexy!

Merely being in my presence should have a lowly D-rank worm like Kiba groveling and drooling all over me! I’d have given anything to be in his situation before my reincarnation.

I know he never showed any interest in Hinata in the Anime, but I know he’s not gay because he starts dating a cat lady shopkeeper eventually. Yeah, this poor schlub can’t even land one of the main girls! Forget competing for Hinata and Sakura, he loses Ino to freaking Sai!

I can’t let this insult stand, plans be damned.

“Hinata-chan, you go on ahead. I need to speak with Kiba-kun in private.”