chapter 318
Chapter 318:
– Layla –
Earlier, I had picked up a teleporter device from the dead TVA agent’s body. We were going to use it to open a direct path to the TVA headquarters. They had a lot to answer for.
I clicked the largest button on the side, and a golden orange square portal materialized a few feet away.
“Are you ready?” I glanced at Sona, who stood beside me. She gave me a determined nod. Together, we stepped through.
Everything felt off the instant we emerged on the other side. Instead of the neat, sterile corridors I’d seen in the man's memories whose soul I read. I found myself in a barren wasteland. Gray clouds churned overhead, and the ground looked scorched and broken.
“Layla,” Sona said bluntly, “this isn’t the TVA.”
She was right. My wings twitched with annoyance, and I took a slow look around. “No, it’s definitely not…”
Sona took a breath, then exhaled. “Must be a failsafe. A trap to dump unauthorized people here who try to use their teleporters.”
I knew where we were. It was a place that all the TVA agents knew about and feared. I ground my teeth. The TVA seemed more annoying by the second. “The Void,” I muttered, kicking aside a small chunk of rock. “They send variants here to die or wait around forever.”
Sona rested a hand on one hip, scanning the horizon. “This place is giving me the creeps. Let’s leave.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I should have just used my own portal instead of someone else's. I just wanted to make a dramatic entrance…” I finished with a pout.
I was about to open up a portal so we could leave, when I heard someone call out to us nearby.
“Oh? Hey there!”
I had to do a double take when I saw who was talking to us.
“Ryan Reynolds?” I asked in confusion. He looked exactly like Ryan Reynolds, but his clothes were ragged, and he had a battered scabbard strapped to his back.
The guy shook his head and gave me a friendly grin. “Nope, I’m Nicepool! Everybody always gets that wrong for some reason.”
Sona raised an eyebrow. “Nicepool?” She said it like she was trying to make sense of the name.
He nodded with enthusiasm. “That’s right. I’m not the usual mercenary type. I’m a kinder, gentler version.” He shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world.
What?
[What?]
“So you’re… stuck here?” I asked. This was the Void after all.
Nicepool let out a laugh that sounded strangely genuine. “Yup. Been here for a while. It’s not exactly a five-star resort. More like the TVA’s trash can for everything they don’t want.” He looked between me and Sona, then brightened. “I never expected I’d meet the Supreme Goddess Layla in this place. Today is a good day.”
Sona and I exchanged a confused glance.
“How do you know who I am? We’ve never met,” I asked him.
He scratched the back of his head. “I just tend to know things, you know. I’m Nicepool.”
I guess that makes sense if he was some kind of variant of Deadpool…?
[Not really, but sure let's go with it…]
Sona nodded slowly. Pretending she knew exactly what was going on. I always found that cute about her, when she could never admit to not knowing something.
I took a breath. “Right... Anyway, I was about to open a portal to get Sona and me out of here. Do you want to come along? No one deserves to be stuck here.” He seems like a chill dude and I didn't mind sending him back to his own universe. The TVA wouldn't be able to come after him again after I got rid of them.
Nicepool shook his head. He then crouched down and started tending to a rusty metal pot that was hanging above a small campfire. Huh, I didn't notice that before, I guess we somehow ended up in the middle of his campsite.
“Thanks for the offer, but I have to stay in the Void. Do either of you want any of this soup? There's more than enough for everyone!” He lifted the lid and the odor that hit us was not pleasant.
I fought hard not to cringe. “Uh, no thanks,” I said. “Sona?”
She shook her head with a forced smile. “Thank you for the polite offer, but I'm good…”
He shrugged, taking a sip of it himself without batting an eye. “It’s raccoon. Bit tough and gamey, but you make do when in the void.” Then he carefully placed the lid back on the pot.
I was about to take Sona and leave, but I just had to freaking ask the obvious question! “...Why exactly are you wanting to stay in the Void?”
“I have to wait for the chosen one. The Deadpool who’s going to save all Deadpools across the multiverse. I have to be here to lend him my car,” he said with a smile.
[His car…?]
‘Fucking Deadpools… None of their shit ever makes sense.’ I replied to the System.
“Uh-huh,” I mumbled, not sure how to respond to that out loud. I coughed slightly. “Okay, well. We’ll… just be going now. It was nice meeting you I guess?”
He gave another broad grin. “Nice meeting you both too! If you come back, bring salt. Helps cut the funky flavor.”
I forced a laugh. “We’ll keep that in mind.”
Sona cleared her throat. “Layla, let’s go.”
I nodded, turning to Nicepool once more. “Stay safe,” I told him, feeling a bit sorry for the guy.
“Oh, I’m good,” he assured me. “You might want to have a nice day. Or a nice hour. Time’s weird here.”
Sona and I looked at each other, then silently agreed never to talk about this weird meeting again. I opened my own portal properly to the TVA this time.
“Why didn’t you do this in the first place?” Sona asked, giving me a pointed stare.
I couldn’t help but grin. “I wanted to pop in with their own portal, then be like ‘Surprise, motherfuckers!’ It would’ve been cool…”
She stared at me with a straight face. “I love you, but sometimes you do really dumb shit.”
My heart warmed. “Aww, I love you too, Sona.”
She flushed, her cheeks turning pink, and mumbled, “Whatever.”
I took her hand, and we both stepped into the purple portal. The swirling energy tugged us forward, and a moment later we arrived in the TVA’s actual headquarters and not the Void!
The room was dull as dirt, basically a corporate waiting area with harsh fluorescent lights, a few rows of uncomfortable chairs, and a tacky desk off to one side. Some bored-looking agents in dull uniforms stood around, but the second we popped in, they all stiffened.
I glanced around and spotted a bunch of people in futuristic-looking handcuffs.
Most of them were versions of Marvel characters I recognized: a battered Captain America with a defeated look, an angry Tony Stark glaring at an agent, a female Loki tied up and gagged with thick straps around her mouth. They looked miserable, but their eyes lit up with sudden hope when they saw me and Sona.
There was an older woman, presumably the secretary, sitting behind a tall desk. Her hair was in a tight bun, and she stared at me like she wasn’t sure if she should scream or run. “Welcome to the TVA,” she said nervously. “Can I… help you?”
I gave her the widest smile I could manage, though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Hi there! I’m the Goddess of Angels—Layla of the Fallen, Champion of Lady Death herself—and I’m here to completely destroy the TVA, rescue my stupid brother-in-law, and kill everyone who gets in my way.”
The secretary went white as a sheet.
[Hehe! Look at her face! That was way better than just popping out and yelling “surprise motherfuckers!”]
The agents in the lobby scrambled for their weapons, but I flicked my wrist and channeled a burst of cosmic energy. All their pruning batons disintegrated into dust.
At the same time, every single pair of cuffs on the prisoners clattered to the floor, snapping open like cheap plastic.
“Yes!” shouted a Thor in the back. Lightning arced around his fingers as he clenched his fists. He roared something about vengeance, then tore across the lobby and slammed an agent so hard that their skull caved in with a wet crunch. Blood sprayed across the floor.
And then all hell broke loose as the rest of the captured characters joined in on the fight.
Sona and I stepped aside, making sure not to get spattered by all the blood. The freed variants were furious and out for a lot of payback.
“Holy shit,” Sona muttered, watching as Tony Stark punched a guard in the face and then started choking him to death. Another one of the variants, some gnarly Captain America, swung his shield to smash an agent’s head clean off. Blood and brains went flying.
I shrugged, curling an arm around Sona’s waist. “We came to wreck the TVA, and these guys are definitely on board with that plan...”
She rested a hand on my arm, still eyeing the riot in front of us. “No kidding.”
The chaos in the lobby only grew more intense with every passing second. I watched, more fascinated than disturbed, as the furious variants tore into the remaining TVA agents. Another agent made the mistake of trying to scramble away, but a newly freed Black Widow variant whipped out a concealed knife—I had no idea where the hell she got it—and slit his throat in a single clean motion. He dropped to the floor, gasping on his own blood.
“That guard’s about to get his face chewed off,” Sona noted, pointing toward the far corner. Sure enough, a hulking, zombified Hulk variant—complete with half-rotten flesh—was pummeling a screaming TVA officer, teeth bared. It was absolutely disgusting, but in a satisfying, karmic way.
Too bad I couldn’t let another zombie hulk run around the multiverse. I conjured a Lightspear and sent it hurtling towards the undead behemoth. It struck him right where his heart used to be before he turned to dust. Why the TVA idiots thought bringing a zombie Hulk in their midst in the first place was a good idea I'd never know.
After a couple more minutes, it was basically over. A battered, alternate Tony Stark fired some kind of makeshift energy blast from gauntlets he must’ve built on the fly, reducing the final screaming agent to ashes.
“Nice job, everyone,” I called out, raising my voice.
They all turned my way. The Thor variant brushed gore off his face and gave me a sharp nod. Nearby, the female Loki variant pulled a gag from her mouth, spitting on the corpse of the agent who’d been restraining her.
“I’m Layla of the Fallen, Champion of Lady Death herself. As I said before, I’m here to destroy this place… but we’re not finished yet.” I swept a hand around the lobby. “There are still more captives in their prison cells. The TVA’s snatched up countless variants from across the multiverse. I want them freed. Every last one.”
The Thor slammed his fist into his palm, a satisfying crack echoing in the air. “We are with you, Champion of Lady Death. We shall clear the dungeons and rescue our other selves!”
“I appreciate that. Go on, find the prisons, set everyone free.”
The battered Captain America spat blood onto the floor. “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grim sort of respect.
“And,” I added, letting my wings flutter dramatically, “once this is all over, I’ll open portals to send every single one of you back to your home universes!”
They broke into excited murmurs and they all split off to take care of that…
Sona looked at me with a faint smile. “You always know how to work a crowd.”
I shrugged. “I promise big, then deliver bigger.” I turned to her with a smirk. “Ready to burn this place to the ground?”
She nodded firmly. “After they dared to try and harm our children, there will be no mercy.”
We left the blood-soaked lobby behind, fully aware that the variants we’d just freed were more than capable of ripping apart any TVA stragglers in their path. Sona and I pushed open a pair of double doors that led into a dimly lit corridor. The overhead lights flickered dully, and I felt like I was at the supernatural DMV…
Father, this place was depressing…
My wings rustled against my back as we strode forward, my eyes scanning for any sign of a trap. Sona walked beside me, her shoes squeaking on the glossy floor. We were almost at the next door when I heard footsteps echo behind us.
I glanced over my shoulder.
Female Loki appeared behind us.
“Why aren’t you with the others?” I asked.
She flashed a sweet, innocent smile that didn’t match the blood on her clothes. “I wanted to see if you two lovely ladies might need my assistance.” Her tone dripped with a sly eagerness.
Sona adjusted her glasses, pushing them up the bridge of her nose. “Uh-huh… Are you sure you’re not just staying close so you can keep an eye on us? Maybe you want to make sure we keep our word and help everyone get home?”
Loki smirked, crossing her arms under her chest. “My, aren’t you a clever one. Okay, you got me. I don’t trust you. Then again, I hardly trust anyone, and I am the Goddess of Lies. Can you blame me?”
I let out a short laugh and rolled my eyes. “Fine. Stick around if you want. But if you try anything stupid, I’m gonna blast you through the nearest wall.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Loki replied in a casual tone that made me wonder if she actually cared.
Just then, a door on the far side of the corridor hissed open, and a group of TVA agents poured into the room. They wore heavier armor than the first wave and looked more pissed off. Several carried rifles, while others brandished those pruning batons.
I motioned toward the agents. “You want to help? Clear our path.” I said to female Loki.
She let out a theatrical sigh. “I suppose if I have to…” She reached behind her back and produced two slender knives with dark blades. Her lips curled into a pleased grin. “Try to keep up.” Then she darted forward, knives flashing under the fluorescent lights, and lunged at the nearest TVA bastard.
…
…I watched as female Loki wiped a streak of thick, dark blood from her blades, using a torn scrap of fabric she must have ripped from one of the dead agents. When she finished, she ran her tongue over her teeth and smiled at us. “That was some cathartic stress relief,” she said, glancing at the limp bodies around her. “These bastards have been hunting me for literally hundreds of years…”
I tensed at her words. “Hundreds of years? I’d never even heard of these guys until recently, and they’ve been around that long?” I felt irritation roil in my chest, thinking about how deeply entrenched these TVA assholes were.
She cleared her throat and straightened up. “By the way, my name is Sylvie Laufeydottir,” she said.
“Oh,” I replied with a shrug. “I’ve just been calling you ‘female Loki’ in my head.”
She let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, most people do that. For some reason, the vast majority of my alternate selves are men. It’s annoying, but I’m used to it.”
Sona stepped closer, adjusting her glasses and eyeing the corridor. “So, Sylvie, what else do you know about the TVA?”
Sylvie launched into an explanation. “They’re run by someone called He Who Remains, along with a bunch of judges under him. Their entire reason for existing is to destroy timelines that go against their precious ‘Sacred Timeline.’ It’s all meant to prevent some huge multiversal war.”
I traded looks with Sona. It seemed the two of us were on the same page.
“B–But that’s dumb,” Sona said bluntly. “How is destroying entire universes any better than letting them fight? Either way, people die.”
Sylvie shrugged, pushing a bit of hair away from her face. “They claim the war would destroy all of reality or some nonsense like that. Personally, I think they’re just a bunch of control freaks.”
“Whatever,” I said, waving a hand. “We’re here to wreck the TVA, rescue our own stupid Loki, and get our universe’s Space Stone back.”
Sylvie’s eyes lit up with interest at that last one. She opened her mouth like she was about to ask something, but Sona cut her off with a sharp glare. “Don’t even think about it. All the Infinity Stones from our universe belong to Layla.”
I raised an eyebrow at Sona. Then I grinned. “Aww, you said ‘our universe!’” I leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. Her skin felt warm under my lips, and she sputtered in response.
She rubbed at her cheek, trying to hide her blush. “Of course it’s my home too. My daughter was born there, and my whole family’s there now. So stop distracting me and let’s go kill some more people.” She lifted a hand and conjured a swirling orb of water.
As if on cue, more TVA agents rounded the corner with weapons at the ready. Sona hurled the compact sphere straight at them, and it slammed into their bodies with a wet crunch. Bones snapped under the pressure, and they screamed before collapsing in a heap.
XXX