chapter 304

Chapter 304:

I hopped from rooftop to rooftop, the cool breeze brushing against my face as I surveyed Karakura Town below. My eyes scanned the horizon, looking for the infamous candy shop or any other landmarks I might recognize from *Bleach*. I kept my movements low to avoid attention. Unlike hollows or shinigami, I wasn’t invisible to humans. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene. Okay, maybe that wasn’t entirely true. I just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of explaining myself to a bunch of strangers.

The truth was, I didn’t come here to play hero or get involved in any dramatic battles. My only goal was to get my asauchi fixed and then leave. That was it. No detours, no distractions. No extra harem members thank you very much!

[Uh huh…]

I wasn’t even caught up on the story past Aizen’s defeat. As far as I knew, everything ended happily ever after. No one died, the good guys won, and all the loose ends were tied up. Why mess with something that already worked out?

[It’s that kind of thinking that always gets you into trouble.]

The system’s voice echoed in my head, but I ignored it as I caught sight of a familiar-looking school in the distance. Was that Karakura High? It had to be. The sun was high in the sky, which meant classes were probably in session. Maybe I’d run into one of the main characters. Assuming it wasn’t the weekend or something.

Suddenly, I turned my head sharply to the left as I felt the air shift nearby. Someone pretty fast had just popped next to me with a strange movement technique.

“Die, you monster!” The shout came from a young man with spiky orange hair. He wore black shinigami robes, and in his hands was a massive cleaver-like sword. He was swinging it directly at my head.

“That’s rude,” I muttered, raising my hand. The blade met my bare palm and was stopped dead. My HP dropped a few points but regenerated instantly.

The orange-haired attacker blinked at me, his eyes wide with shock. He yanked his blade back and jumped, landing effortlessly on what looked like thin air.

“Attacking strangers out of nowhere? I expected better manners…” I pouted at him.

Ichigo Kurosaki frowned at me, his grip tightening on the hilt of his sword. “Who the hell are you, woman!? You’re not human, and you’re definitely not a shinigami!”

I raised an eyebrow at Ichigo. “Okay? And? Is me not being human or a shinigami a reason to attack me on sight? That’s just racist.”

“Racist?!” Ichigo sputtered.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to the Soul Society, would you?” I asked, changing the topic. “I have some minor business there, and then I’ll be back on my way home.”

Ichigo bristled and pointed his oversized sword at me. Honestly, it looked comically large in real life, almost as big as his entire body.

“Nice try! But every time someone tries to illegally enter the Soul Society, they always end up destroying the place and causing a whole bunch of chaos!”

I raised a finger as if to argue, but then lowered it. According to all the filler arcs in the anime… that’s pretty much on point. The Soul Society does get invaded a lot.

“I could pay you?” I made a final offer. If there's one thing I was never lacking in, it was money.

“That’s new,” Ichigo admitted before suddenly looking determined. “But that’s not happening! I’m taking you in, lady. All that crazy spiritual pressure came from you! You made my regular friends pass out in the classroom!”

“Huh?” was all I could say before Ichigo charged at me with his giant sword again. This time, he went for a sweeping slash. I raised my right hand and flicked out my finger.

CLANG!

His sword bounced off my fingernail, and Ichigo was forced backward, skidding across the air itself.

“How are you doing that?!” he asked in shock.

“I’m kind of OP at this point…” I said with a shrug.

Ichigo gritted his teeth and charged again. He swung at me repeatedly, each strike faster than the last, but none of them even came close to hurting me. I blocked one with a flick of my wrist, another with a slight shift of my foot. His frustration grew with every failed attempt.

“You’re wasting your energy,” I said. “Do you really think this is going to work?”

“I have to stop you!” he shouted. “You’re too dangerous to leave alone!”

Before I could respond, something sharp whizzed through the air behind me. I felt the impact as a series of blue arrows struck my back. They shattered harmlessly, but the sudden attack caught my attention. I turned to see Uryu Ishida standing on a nearby rooftop, a Quincy bow glowing blue in his hands.

“Ichigo, are you okay?” Uryu called out. Beside him were Chad and Orihime, both looking ready to jump into the fray.

“What are you guys doing here?” Ichigo asked, keeping his eyes on me.

“We felt her spiritual pressure,” Uryu said. “It’s off the charts! We thought you might need help.”

“I had it under control,” Ichigo muttered, though he didn’t sound convincing.

“You brought your friends?” I said, tilting my head. “This is getting ridiculous. Are we really going to make this a group effort?”

Chad stepped forward, his massive frame casting a shadow over the rooftop. “We’re not going to let you hurt Ichigo.”

“Hurt him?” I laughed. “He’s the one who attacked me! I’m just trying to get directions, and he’s swinging that oversized butter knife around like a maniac!” I turned my attention to Orihime, hoping she might be the voice of reason in this ridiculous standoff.

Nope. She immediately called on her magic hairpins, and the little fairies shot forward, surrounded by orange light. They zoomed straight at me like they had something to prove. I reached out and snatched one out of the air. The tiny man squirmed in my hand and started cursing at me.

“Tsubaki!” Orihime shouted. “Let him go!”

“No one move, or the fairy gets it!” I said, pressing my thumb on the tiny guy’s neck. He growled and tried to bite me, but his teeth couldn’t even scratch my skin.

“You oversized idiot! Put me down right now, or I’ll shove my sword so far up your—” Tsubaki yelled before I tightened my grip slightly.

“Watch the language,” I said. “You’re not helping your case here.”

“You think this is funny? I’ll slice you into pieces, you dumb—” he sputtered before I shook him lightly to shut him up.

“Even if you kill him, Orihime can just revive him!” Uryu said. He drew his Quincy bow and started firing. Blue arrows rained down on me, hundreds, no—thousands of them.

“Harsh,” I muttered. I dropped Tsubaki and let the arrows hit me. They all bounced off harmlessly, but it was still annoying. “Is this really necessary? I’m trying not to fight you guys.”

Ichigo charged again, sword raised, yelling something about not trusting me. Chad was right behind him, his giant fist glowing with power. I sighed, sidestepped Ichigo’s swing, and caught Chad’s punch with my palm. The force of it rattled the air, but it still wasn’t enough to even make me budge.

“Look, I’m giving you all a chance to back off,” I said. “You really don’t want to push this.”

“We’re not letting you go to the Soul Society!” Ichigo shouted.

Welp, I tried to ask nicely. It’s not my fault a bunch of hot headed teenagers from a shounen anime world don’t want to listen to me. I did right…?

[For once… yes you did.]

I decided to mess with the four of them for a bit. They were clearly outmatched, but they kept coming at me with everything they had. I dodged, blocked, or tanked their attacks without even trying. It was almost laughable how predictable they were. One by one, I took them apart, starting with Orihime.

Anyone who’s played video games knows you take out the healer first. Orihime tried to send her fairies at me again, but I grabbed Tsubaki mid-air and tossed him aside like a paper airplane.

“Tsubaki!” Orihime shouted. “You can’t just throw him like that!”

“Watch me,” I said, tapping her lightly on the forehead. Her eyes widened before she crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

“Orihime!” Ichigo shouted, glaring at me. “What the hell is wrong with you? She’s not a fighter!”

“Exactly. That’s why she’s first,” I said. “If you’re going to fight as a team, at least know how to protect your healer,” I chastised these noobs.

Chad charged at me next, his fist glowing with enough power to level a building. He didn’t say a word, just ran straight at me with determination in his eyes. He threw a punch at full force, the air rippling around us from the impact. I caught his fist mid-swing. The force reverberated through my arm, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

“You need to cool it,” I said.

“I’m not letting you hurt anyone else,” Chad said through gritted teeth.

“Hurt? Please. I’m just giving you a reality check,” I said, twisting his arm. There was a sharp crack. His left arm—the one with that devilish power—hung limp at his side. He staggered back with a pained grunt, clutching at his arm but refusing to fall.

“Chad!” Ichigo yelled, running toward him. “Are you okay?”

“Stay back,” Chad said. “I can still fight…”

“No, you can’t,” I interrupted. “But points for effort.”

Uryu stepped up next, pulling out some glowing blue knife from nowhere.

“You’ve gone too far,” Uryu said. “I’ll end this right now.”

“With that?” I said, nodding at the knife. “Sure. Give it your best shot.”

He moved quickly, aiming for my chest, but I was faster. I ducked under his swing and drove my fist into his stomach. He dropped the knife, his eyes widening before he doubled over and vomited. He hit the ground, out cold.

Ichigo stared at me, his face twisting with a mix of anger and desperation.

“You’re done hurting my friends!” he shouted. He gripped his sword with both hands, and I could feel and see the mass of spiritual energy building around him.

“BAN—” he started to shout, raising his sword.

Before he could finish, a stunning woman with chocolate colored skin appeared out of nowhere. She was completely naked as both of her feet connected with Ichigo’s face and sent him flying away.

“What the hell Yoruichi!?” Ichigo shouted before he crashed into a power line and proceeded to get comically electrocuted… “Yaaaarrrrgghhhh!”

That looked like it hurt a whole lot. His orange hair was standing straight up and his entire outfit was smoking.

Wow, Yoruichi was absolutely stunning. I couldn’t help but stare at her flawless body, her smooth chocolate skin, and her large breasts topped with dark nipples as she sauntered toward me.

[What happened to not adding anyone to your harem this trip?]

I bristled at that. I could look if I wanted to! She was the one who randomly appeared in front of me naked, after all. It wasn’t my fault if I looked.

Yoruichi glanced at me, her expression somewhere between amused and cautious. “Hello there…”

“Hello yourself,” I said, still not looking up from her beautiful body.

That actually made her chuckle. “My eyes are up here, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” I said with a grin. She sighed, clearly realizing I wasn’t going to make this easy for her. When I finally looked her in the eyes, I winked at her.

There was a glint of curiosity in her gaze, not hostility like the trigger-happy super powered teenagers had shown me. She crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly. “Who are you?” she asked.

I let my grin grow even more as I spread my 16 wings out behind me. The top three pairs radiated a level of power far beyond the black wings beneath them. Yoruichi’s eyes widened as she took a step back. For a second, she didn’t say anything, her gaze fixed on my wings like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing.

“Angel…” she whispered, the word slipping out before she could stop herself.

I spread my wings a little wider and nodded. “I am indeed an Angel,” I said to Yoruichi, who was still staring at me like I’d grown a second head.

She shook her head quickly. “That’s impossible! Angels aren’t real! I’ve never seen or heard of one before.”

“Maybe you just weren’t looking hard enough,” I said with a playful shrug. I wasn’t about to get into the whole “I’m from another universe” thing just yet. I liked to reserve that for the second date.

Yoruichi’s eyes darted to the knocked-out and injured teens nearby. “What are you doing in Karakura Town?” she asked. “And why did you attack them?”

My wings shifted behind me as I scoffed. “Attack? I didn’t attack anyone. That shinigami kid came at me out of nowhere, and then his friends jumped in. That was assault, you know. I could press charges if I wanted to!” I grinned to let her know I was joking. Mostly.

Yoruichi crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Good luck with that. Shinigami courts are completely corrupt and run by stuffy nobles…”

“That’s okay,” I said. “If they give me an unfair ruling, I’ll just destroy the courts.”

Her face shifted slightly, and I could see the nervous flicker in her eyes. She wasn’t sure if I was serious or not. For the record, I was—just not about reporting the teens. Honestly, their attempts to hurt me had been more amusing than dangerous.

I decided to get to the point. “I’m in Karakura Town because I want to visit the Soul Society.” I reached into my inventory and pulled out my asauchi.

Her eyes widened as soon as she saw the blade. “A zanpakutō… no, an asauchi. Why does an Angel have one?”

“Why can’t I have one?” I said, tilting my head.

“I guess that’s fair,” she said, taking the blade and examining it. She turned it over in her hands for a moment before handing it back to me. “I’m not exactly an expert, since I lost my own zanpakutō… due to reasons… but yours feels kind of weak.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I explained. “The spirit inside the blade is sick and possibly dying. I need to get it fixed.”

“And that’s why you released that terrifying spiritual pressure across all of Japan? You scared the fuck out of all of us!” she said, glaring at me.

I blushed and looked away. “I don't know where the Soul Society is, and I thought maybe I could find it myself. Obviously, I failed.”

Yoruichi told me she’d bring me to her friend Urahara and said maybe he’d help me. I glanced over at the knocked-out teens. Chad was helping Uryu up, who looked conscious again but still shaky. Orihime was still out cold, even though I’d gone the easiest on her. Ichigo had managed to get back on his feet and was glaring at me like I’d just killed his dog. I couldn’t help but snicker because there was still smoke coming off him.

“Stop laughing at me! What’s going on with this chick, Yoruichi?” he demanded.

“None of your business, Ichigo. Just wake Orihime up so she can heal you all,” Yoruichi said, not even looking back at him.

With that, she hopped onto the nearest rooftop. I hesitated for a second before following her, keeping a few steps behind. She was fast, but I still had an amazing view of her bare, jiggling ass as she moved.

“I can feel your eyes on my backside! You’re very perverted for a supposed Angel,” Yoruichi said.

“Didn’t you see that most of my wings are black? That means I’m a Fallen Angel,” I replied cheekily.

“Then what about the gold, red, and purple wings?” she asked, clearly curious but trying to sound casual. She was definitely fishing for more information.

“Those wings are proof that I have access to three of the most powerful forces in existence,” I told her honestly.

She didn’t turn around, but I could practically feel her rolling her eyes. She obviously didn’t believe me. That was fine. She’d figure it out eventually.

A minute later, we landed on the street in front of a small candy shop. I was honestly kind of sad that Yoruichi was so fast because it meant the nice show I had of her backside was over...

As soon as we arrived, she disappeared in a puff of smoke, and in her place was a black cat sitting on the ground. When she spoke, her voice was a lot deeper and more masculine. “Follow me inside,” she said.

The cat padded toward the door, and I shrugged before following.

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