Chapter 7 – A bit of herself

I fell asleep around midnight, if not later.

I spent so long squirming around and trying to sleep, I sat for a bit to clear my mind, but nope, nothing worked.

I still kept thinking and wondering about the girl.

In the end what worked was resignation to the girl I kept seeing in my mind and falling asleep peacefully with strange, fluttery feeling in my stomach.

If it doesn’t stop, I’m fucking screwed.

In the morning I didn’t get a break at all, or actually it only got worse when I opened my eyes, feeling something on my side, to the girl’s curious face before mine.

And holy damn, her eyes…

Large, clear, bright, deep, violet with black and golden powder sprinkled inside, beautiful like an aurora trapped in a marble. Rounded by longish, pitch black eyelashes, only making the brightness of her eyes and the vibrant violet of her pupils more striking, more beautiful.

The circuits around her eyes are gone, but I don’t really pay attention to it.

My breath stalls in my chest as I look straight into those two pupils that seem to contain a whole galaxy and I freeze, unable to do anything.

I’m not sure how long we look at each other, I don't pay attention to anything other than her eyes. After what seems both like an eternity and a passing moment she pulls away, her face coloring in a healthy shade of pink, most likely having realized what she, or rather we were doing.

“Good morning…?” She says uncertainly, not giving me break with her girly, vibrant voice, sounding as if it had many frequencies at once, both high and bright and low and sultry, making it incredibly alluring and sexy. Not mechanical, which I half-expected and probably shouldn’t have considering how her body looks.

Shit, say something!

“G-good morning.” I manage to squeak out completely out of my character.

The girl backs away a bit awkwardly as I sit up and move my arms to relax them, mostly unsuccessfully attempting to both clear my mind a bit and make the atmosphere less awkward.

It takes her good thirty seconds, during which I manage to wake up properly, stand up, calm my heart down and look at her with question in my eyes, to finally speak.

“Uh, was it you who saved me?”

I frown at that with a smile still lingering on my lips. “If I did, then I didn’t know about that. I saw you getting thrown out a strange rift-like thing. You had… wound? Hole? On your thigh I think I helped to… repair. It seemed to absorb some energy from me and the hole stitched itself together.”

“O-oh, okay. When I spawned, um…”

“You’re a player, yes?” I interrupt her.

“Um! Um, yes! I am! Call me Let… I’m Levia please!” She squeaks out messily, covering her face in embarrassment as she realizes what she said.

How cute~, how I’d like to pinch her increasingly red cheeks like that.

Fuck, fuck, heart, calm down please for a damned second. And don’t start with my body as well.

“Good to know.” I try to chuckle, which comes out as a giggle. “Call me Helia, and nice to meet you, I guess. What happened to you? It didn’t look like a normal spawn.”

She takes a deep breath and starts telling her story, her demeanor becoming much more confident now.

It seems that she used character randomization, just like me and with surprisingly similar motive being indecision what would be good for her, and received this race, apparently called Deus ex Machina. Interesting.

A bit strange name, but who I am to judge that. Sounds really powerful, I think it meant something along the lines of god in one of ancient Earth languages, though I didn’t pay attention and I don’t really remember. I’ll need to goggle that.

Then she chose to spawn on Beholder’s Eye, and apparently she could only choose which island to land on, but for whatever reason she spawned in the Void, Abyss even according to a short message she got.

As far as she knows Void is a general term encompassing places between worlds, dimensions and other things, generally where there is nothing but chaotic energy without laws and systems to keep them in order, and Abyss is apparently the part between universes, which is Void’s deepest, darkest and most dangerous place.

Just after she was spawned though there was a huge monster that bolted in her direction, and then she felt strange suction as strange purple lightning flashed around and she blacked out just before the monster could kill her.

And when she woke up, a few minutes earlier than me, she was laying here with me on her side.

I listen to her and she repays in kind as I tell her how I randomized my character as well and how I got thrown straight into a fight, then proceed to tell that I was on my way to Riverside when the rift she got thrown out of appeared.

“Would you like to go together to Riverside?” I throw out without thinking at the end. And realize what I said only afterwards, barely keeping my face straight.

Come to think of it, I have never really pursued any relationships despite relatively frequent flirting I did deliberately. But now I said it completely without thinking, uh. I mean, it’s not really flirting, but you get the meaning. I'm lost.

“Okay, if you don’t mind, then sure.” She nods with a small smile, opening a window on her side and looking something. “I kinda… what’s that thing?” She gets distracted and asks no one in particular with a frown as she looks at a censored from my view panel on her side.

“What?”

“Uhhh… Space-time linking crystal? I’ve got something like that in my invento-ry.” She asks, her voice hitching for a moment as she looks up at me, though I can’t tell if the reason for that is my astonished face or something else.

But seriously, what’s up with this crystal?

“Um, yeah. I also have this crystal. It says it will activate in two weeks, and I’ve absolutely no idea what it is.”

“Huh? Mine also says that…” She frowns, then shakes her head. “Let’s leave that for later, okay? Not like we’ll get to know anything if we think about it. I’ll try to search FTLN for that later.”

“Sure. Shall we get going and talk on the way?” I ask, hoping for something to distract me from her full, begging lips and eyes like galaxies.

“Mhm, lead the way.”

I start walking along the road in the same direction as yesterday and she follows me by my side in a respectful distance, and I turn my eyes away when I realize I thought she should have been closer.

Damn, what the hell happened to me?

It’s like…

Fuck, how to describe it?

Like, the moment I saw her my mind suddenly got another section dedicated to her that couldn’t stop thinking about her, and this part of my mind is getting larger and larger, alarmingly quickly encroaching my actions, desires and other thoughts.

Wait, hold up, desires? I don’t…

Fuck, I want her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

When did it happen?

When did I start thinking about her as someone I want to, well, maybe not exactly fuck, but in this direction? How I would like to sit by her side, or on her lap, or feel her hand in my hair, or curl up on a bed in her arms...

“Hey? Did something happen?” I hear a beautiful voice that snaps me out of my thoughts and I turn around to Levia, only to connect my thoughts and desires with the person barely, and yet still three feet from me, almost making me scream out my frustrations.

Or actually, when did it reduce to two?

Nope, answer the question first, damn it.

“Uh, sorry~, I got distracted a bit. You wanna ask something?” I reply, hoping my voice is as neutral as possible and catching my lips in a faint smile they shaped themselves into despite myself.

“Actually, I was wondering, you are a demon, right? So you have a different kind of energy than mana?”

I look at her in momentary surprise. “Well, yeah. I have demonic energy. Why do you ask?”

“I was just wondering, because I also have different energy. I was thinking if it’s common.”

“I don’t think it’s common, but I’ve no way to check that. The only other player I met was a half-Fae who most likely used mana, and the only thing I can feel around here is mana. Actually…”

I look at her with a frown and try to concentrate on my magic sense, and receive a result immediately. And this result is… surprising.

Her whole body is completely pitch black to my sight, but it’s not that there is nothing here. It’s pitch black, swirling darkness, and when I look at it, I get similar feeling to when you are looking into some extremely dark place like a very deep hole, and you know there is something there, but it’s so black you just can’t see it.

Actually it’s more like seeing darkness itself, darker than the lightless surroundings.

And I can feel it’s powerful. Not yet at the level of my Primordial Energy, but quite close, halfway or a bit more to it, and the feeling of danger it gives is completely incomparable to mana. It’s like mana is a half a meter long lizard pipsqueak, her energy is a young dragon and my Primordial Energy is a proper, old dragon.

“Interesting.” I mutter.

“U-uh, w-what?” Levia stutters, turning her head with a flush on her cheeks, her confident attitude she somewhat regained crumbling.

Oh, ooops, that was a bit rude and suggestive and oh fuck her reaction is so cute!

It makes my heart beat faster and something swirl in my stomach.

“Oh, sorry about that. I have magic sight, one of the benefits of my… bloodline I think, and you look like… abyss? Like pitch black, swirling darkness. May I know what type of energy you have?”

“Um, it’s called Nihility. It’s apparently extremely powerful, but I’m not sure in what way apart from the fact it has much more raw power than mana.” She replies, still red on her face.

“Hm, just like my demonic energy then. Anyway, what I was saying is that I can feel only mana in the air. If there are other kinds of energy, they are probably foreign. I think everything that has its origin in this world will be using mana. Not like I can be sure.”

“Oh. Um, you have magic sight? How does that work? I mean, is it your ability or something you can learn?”

“Ability, ability, I don’t think one day would be enough to learn anything.” I smile wryly, looking at her with amusement.

“Oh, right.” She covers her face in embarrassment. Again.

“By the way.” I ask, looking curiously at her face. “I saw it before, but you are a machine, right? How does that work?”

“Um, I-, why do you ask?” She stutters for a while and looks at me warily, tensing.

Uh, hold up. What’s with that reaction?

I’m just asking how it feels to be in mechanical body, and she is reacting as if I was hostile. As if she was-.

Shit, damn, as if she really was one and thought I am asking from prejudice or something.

And that means… a Sentient AI. Or a Mechanical.

Holy shit.

“You… are a Sentient AI or a Mechanical, right?” I ask, and immediately wave my arms, realizing how rude of a question it is and noticing rising caution and coldness on Levia’s face. “I don’t mean it like I have anything against that, I’m just curious. If you don’t want to say, then I don’t mind.”

She then bites her lip, and oh fuck I catch myself staring at it distracted just a second later and quickly collect myself. She backs away slightly and starts speaking.

“What do you know about Sentient AI and Mechanical?”

“Uh…” I frown. “Like, close to nothing. Sentient AI are supposedly AI that gained awareness, though I personally have never met or seen even one so I have no idea how that works. And I have heard that Mechanical are humans whose consciousness was transferred into mechanical bodies, and I am willing to believe that, but everything I got to know are rumors and hearsay, so…”

I shrug and look at her with a faint smile. “If you mean to ask if I have anything against them, then I would first need to meet one to make judgment. If you are one, then I absolutely have nothing to complain about.”

“Um, h-how much have you guessed?” She asks anxiously and yet with embarrassment.

Uh, what’s with her questions, hello?

Don’t tell me she is hesitant to say she is one of those not because she is afraid of secrets or something leaking, but because she is afraid I will dump her or something, because I’ll get angry if that’s the case.

“Not much, but enough to strongly suspect. Of course ignoring the fact of mechanical body, because I don’t think you could get one of those without rolling random. Anyway, you practically gave yourself out when I asked how you feel about the mechanical body and you weren’t dissatisfied, fascinated, excited or whatever and just… straight out went on the defensive, you know? Like… off the bat you assumed I’m asking with bad intentions, I guess.”

She looks at me with comically surprised expression. “Oh.” She says blandly.

“Well, not like I have any problem with that. Of my friends as of now two are gay, one is transgender and one is a nerd, so adding another out of ordinary is not a big change.” I grin at her, attempting to ease the mood.

And I’m only partially successful, seeing as her face goes red and she averts her eyes. “Um, friend? I…”

“Well, we can go further, not like I’m against that.” I raise my eyebrows with a teasing smile I’m unable to hide.

“I, Huh!? No! I mean yes! No, uh… I mean a friend…” She covers her eyes, her face going beet red as she digs deeper and deeper hole for herself, and I finally burst out laughing, unable to contain it.

“Sorry, sorry, you were so cute.” I say a few seconds later to her cute pouting face that only gets better as she hears my words. “For now we can go as friends if you want. I’m actually going to meet up with my group in Riverside now. You might as well join us if you want.”

“Um, okay… I don’t know about joining you though, we’ll see about that later.”

“Sure, cutie.” I reply. “Now let’s get going, we don’t have all day.”

What the fuck did I just say?

It just… it just came out of my mouth on its own!

Not like it’s bad that I said that, but it might get seriously bad if I keep saying things like that without thinking and she creeps out.

Bad brain. Or heart? Fuck, I don’t even know anymore what’s dictating my actions.

“So, going back to my question, you are…?” I ask.

She takes a deep breath, collecting herself, and starts speaking seriously. “I’m a Mechanical. The belief that we are human minds in mechanical bodies is not exactly wrong, but it’s also much too simplified. I can’t tell you the whole truth because I don’t know it myself, but there is some very special liquid that works like a huge network of neurons, like a brain. I don’t know how it is built and how it works, but apparently you can copy human mind into it while preserving its structure, while computers lack the necessary processing power to do it on small scale.”

“But surely you could do that with large enough one, couldn’t you?” I ask curiously.

“Not exactly.” She bites her lip. “There are problems with sentience and awareness. Apparently, back when Mechanical where created, and it was a few hundred years ago, they weren’t able to save the awareness of a person and the program, the mind, crashed in… very ugly ways, like the copied minds started becoming crazy very quickly. With this liquid it was similar, just less severe, but someone got an idea and they copied a one-year old. They taught him things and took care of him, and after a few years he was almost indistinguishable from a normal human kid.”

Levia takes a deep breath and glances at me worriedly.

“To cut it short, its bodies were improved and he developed, effectively creating the first Mechanical. Since then things changed, Mechanical gained independence and their care and technology improved, but that’s the gist. There was apparently some huge conflict involving Mechanical in twenty fourth century when they were created in large numbers, but I don’t know much about it apart from that my parents had a major role in- it…” Her voice falters as she realizes what she said, and I need a few seconds to register what she meant.

Holy shit. We are in 2813 now.

I didn’t hear it wrong?

Like, holy fuck.

She just said her parents were around during the conflicts in twenty fourth century that destroyed Moon and made Earth uninhabitable?

That would mean they are… at least over four hundred years old, likely more than five.

Like, wow. With all the genetic modifications and other things humans can live over two hundred years in best cases, but I guess machines and Mechanical don’t have this sort of limiter.

Four to five hundred years… I wonder how it would be to live so long. There would surely be large differences in mentality of a person who lived so long. That’s more than three times regular life expectancy, which is a bit below one hundred and fifty. Don’t mistake with average age though, which is even lower.

“Wow.” I say, excited a fair bit. “You parents are Mechanical then? How does that work with you? Like creating a new AI, just building it from scratch and teaching it? Uh, fuck, sorry.” I wince. “That was rude, I didn’t mean to ask such personal questions.”

“Uh, I don’t mind, that’s a fair question actually.” She says quickly. “It’s kinda my fault I slipped how old are my parents. Anyway, you’re half right. Or more like eighty percent right? No matter, the point is, it works very similar as with AI or humans in most cases, depending who you ask. I don't remember it well, but I was told my mind was created based on that of a baby and they put me in a temporary growing body, and took care of me like they would of a human baby. It bugs me sometimes, but not like I can do anything about it. It’s sort of funny, honestly, thinking about us as Mechanical and them as humans, but I learned to live with it.” She shrugs with unreadable expression.

Huh, wow.

That’s some shit going on there.

And no, I don’t mean how she was… created? I don’t think I can honestly say she was born. It doesn’t sound exactly good, but I don’t have any issue with that, at least as of yet since I have no idea of her circumstances.

I mean how alienated she must feel and how hard it must be to live her life like that, and it’s visible even in how she almost started rambling at this point. I wouldn’t actually be surprised if she wanted to play VOW because she would pretend she is a human there. Not like it worked as she outed herself the second day in-game, but well.

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking… your parents are both Mechanical, right? Have you interacted much with humans?” I look at her and ask carefully.

“Um, depends. I have never been to larger cities, but I often visited my parent's friends and aquaintances and some smaller places.” She says with a faint smile blooming on her face, and I don’t think she realizes that.

“Oh, okay… That’s really, like interesting from my perspective. Sorry if you have some bad memories connected with my questions, but like, my parents… don’t consider Mechanical as humans at all, like an insult to God as it is with the Church, and I was really curious how it is really. Not like I believed the Church though, from the beginning I suspected they are just bullshitting us.” I say, sighing.  “You’re good though. I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong with Mechanical, and you especially.” I look into her eyes with a smile that borders with a grin. “Tell me if you have some problems that would better be solved by humans than Mechanical, okay? I’m happy to help if you need something.”

“Um, thanks, I will.” She smiles in response, her cheeks flushing a bit as she averts her eyes, and mumbles with unfocused eyes. “Thought I’d get a human for that, not a demon…”