Chapter 58 – Chains
<Catherine's POV>
"See you later, guys~." I wave my hand to Crimson and Vulcan as they walk away to an inn on the side of the road, one of those on the lower end of both comfort and price. Not sure what they'll be doing, because there are at least two options.
"What are your plans now, Xethu?" Daria asks the demoness on my side as the guys wave to us and walk through the door.
I turn to the two and look up at the gorgeous girl and see her face in a thoughtful frown.
"I'm not logging out for now." She replies after a moment. "I suppose I could accompany you a while longer, if you like. If not, I'll probably go to sleep."
Daria gives me a suggestive look at that. What? ...Oooh!
"We were going to sleep either way." I tell Xethu with a smile, who focuses on me now. "We got a triple room, because there was no double, so you can stay with us." We actually could swap it to a double a while ago, but we decided not to do that. It's not like it's expensive, and it doesn't hurt to have a bigger room for us.
"You sure?" She asks in surprise, quirking her eyebrow in a specific way. Where did I see that gesture...? "You barely know me, no?"
"That's no problem~." I reassure her. "You know Helia, and she wouldn't let any random person near her." I tilt my head slightly and grin. "Or, if you're really worried that we don't know each other, I wouldn't really mind changing that."
"...Alright." She nods her head with a growing smile and lets out a puff of air through her nose. "I'll take you up on the offer then. You going now?"
"Yup." Daria replies before I'm able to. "It's a minute walk from here."
So we go to the place we booked for a longer while, talking with Xethu on the way and already inside. Mostly about her, honestly.
She's really... I would say familiar, but I'm not sure if she really is. Sometimes she reminds me of Helia, probably because she's a demoness as well, and sometimes I feel like she was someone I'm missing. And sometimes she seems to be a distant stranger.
Oh, also, she doesn't want to talk about her past. I mean, she told us there was a girl that trained her shortly after she got into VOW, and that's actually a good reason as to why she is so strong, but... yeah. I know nothing about her. Which makes my feelings even more confusing. Two kinds of feelings...
Anyway, we went to the inn, and since it was getting late and we spent a good while talking idly, we quickly started preparing to sleep.
"Will you be logging out?" Xethu asks us at some point when I'm already crawling into my futon, and I freeze. No, no no no. I won't.
"Mm, I think I will." Daria says across the room. "I've a few things to do. Learning, for one. What about you, Cathie?"
"I... I think I won't." I squeeze out, trying to sound natural. No, I don't want, damn it. I don't want to go back there...
"Mhm, alright~? Then we've the room for the two of us~." Xethu says melodically with a slightly mischievous smile and I blink in surprise.
Like, huh? And what does that... hm. I mean, yeah, I've read enough stories to know what can be done with just the two of us, but I never took Xethu for such person, and I don't think... hm.
"Alright." I hear Daria saying and peek above the blanket to see her sitting in a relaxed position on her bed. Yeah, as a spirit she doesn't really need any futons... or beds, if we're on that. "I'll be logging out then. I should be here tomorrow around noon. I'll message you if anything comes up."
"Bye~!" I wave my hand at her with a weak smile.
"See you later." Xethu replies with a nod, then Daria presses the button and gets sucked into her Mark. Wueh, that always looks uncomfortable. The only thing lacking is the sound of a vacuum cleaner sucking on something it shouldn't. Like curtains.
Now an awkward silence descends upon us, before the demoness takes a deep breath I would have heard even without enhanced hearing. When I look at her, I almost jump in surprise when I see her expression. That's the expression of a person who resolves herself to do something.
"So, Catherine, there's something I want to tell you." She says in serious voice surprisingly matching her appearance, looking up at me resolutely.
"...What is it?" I ask after a moment of hesitation. No matter how I look at it, this is something important.
"So, I've been delaying since we met, but, um, I didn't really want to share it with others, but I want you to know." She begins messily, though I don't stop to interrupt her. I've seen people who were trying to say difficult things and I can recognize such things when I see them. "I... we already know each other." She finally says.
"Um, yeah? We do... oh. Oh." I blink is surprise and start to say one thing only to realize she's most likely talking about something else. "Wait wait wait. Like, out of VOW?" I frown. If we really do know each other, then she looks too different for me to recognize her.
...But who could she be then?
"Um, yeah. My name is... or maybe was, Katarin." She says and my frown deepens.
Katarin? Do I... Oh! Yeah, I do know that name...
"Helia's ex-girlfriend?" I blurt out and smack my palms over my mouth. Ooops. Shit.
"Yeah, she knows about it, before you ask." Oh?
Hoooh. I sigh deeply, sliding down till I almost lie on the bed. "God, I was sure I fucked up so hard just now." I say. If Xethu didn't know that Helia was the same person as Zeny... I don't even want to think what could happen. Fortunately it's not so bad...
Wait. "Wait, you're Katarin?" I jolt upright and look at the demoness in shock as my mind brings up several possibilities, most of which I don't like. Main of which neatly summarized by the question why was she with Helia. "Did you, uh, talk things over with Helia?" I ask sharply.
"Yes, I did." Xethu replies without hesitation with a deep nod. "If you're worried about my intentions, then I can tell you that shit hit the fan and Helia was pretty much the one who saved me. We're... yeah, I guess we're friends now. Again. I don't want to be the cause of another break-up, even if only indirect cause." She smiles wryly, with a sad undertone.
Well, doesn't that sound interesting.
"Um, would you mind telling me what happened between you two? I don't want to blurt out something that Helia wouldn't want me to say." I ask her, pulling myself up into a proper sitting position. "And what happened to you as well. You're almost a completely different person."
So we delve into a long talk about her own adventure since VOW was released. Through her character creation, first days when she was trained by a mysterious and ridiculously powerful girl, return to school when she told her group of, cough cough, friends about her race, and finally about her two meetings with Helia, though the latter rather briefly.
"I see. So you're Xethu. Katarin. Huh." I mutter, looking into the ceiling with a small smile. Good for her, because my situation is pretty much worse in all aspects, the only exception being that I don't have friends who would criticize my race choice. "Thanks for telling me all that. Are you interested in, hm, renewing our contacts out of the game?"
"I... wouldn't mind." She smiles after a brief moment of hesitation. "Though I would like to wait with that. It's, um... would you mind if I met with you all soon? Maybe join you in a week, like Letty said? Then I would explain it to everyone else."
"Mmm, ask Helia?" I hedge with a small shrug. "Personally no probs, but I've no idea what those two have planned."
"Alright. She's... hm." She nods and our talk sorta drifts off, silence between us in the deep of night.
I look sleepily at Xethu form my now horizontal position and think about Katarin. Or who was Katarin not two weeks ago.
We've never been close friends, but I got to know her quite well when she became Helia's girlfriend. Our friendship cooled down to the point of acquaintances and classmates when she broke up with the demoness, but if there's one thing I believe, it's that nothing stops us from rebuilding our relationship.
...Or bringing it even further, and daaamn it all I've been feeling all that for a person who all this time knew who I was! And I didn't know!
A part of me wants to blame Helia for keeping this a secret, but I understand very well where she was coming from. It's not without reason that this girl almost started crying when she got to the most emotional parts of her story. And if there's one thing she needs now, it's positivity and someone close to cheer her up and listen to her heart, going by stories I read and people I know.
Hm. Hmmm.
Me?
Maybe. I don't want to go onto her so suddenly and when my situation is as it is. I'd rather let our relationship progress naturally for now, probably...
But then...
Aaargh damn it all! Those stupid feelings... Stupid urges... It's all so stupid...
...
Where am I?
It's black... there's a light shining in the front... steadily growing larger. A while in silence, stretching uncomfortably, and I see my previous house there...
I stand in front of the door, and I walk forward, but don't see my body. I'm incorporeal.
I open the door, with the piercing sound of rusty hinges, and I see the ruined corridor, signs of gunshots, broken vase in the corner. I walk upstairs to see it in the same state and approach the broken down door to the... to the... to my parent's room.
No!
I try to wrench control of my body from whatever is controlling it, but to no avail as the door peeks open and I see a man with a woman under the covers.
No! I...
I turn around and see another woman in the door, or a husk of a woman she became when she fell into a memory addiction.
No! Let me...
I turn again, and I see a wardrobe, thrown open and emptied of the contents. Girl's clothes.
NO!
I turn again, this time to a twisted face like that from a nightmare, knife in hand.
NOOO!
I turn again, and I see a corpse laying in a pool of blood pouring from the back of her head. A knife in my hand... falling down from the numb fingers.
NOOO!
And then... a sneer. A disgusted, self-satisfied expression, shrouded in darkness.
I lose my voice as some primal fury swells in my chest, growing from a shattered heart and unable to be released.
And I... fall back?
I plunge into darkness, the same endless blackness as before... there's a voice mumbling something by my ear, but I can't recognize the words...
There's... nothing? I turn around, or I think I do...
And I see a Wolfkin hung on chains, tears streaming down her face, arms and legs bleeding where the chains bite into her skin, ears cut by the base, two massive bloody tears on her chest, blood pouring between her legs...
I look through blurred eyes at the white cloud in front of me...
"AAARg- ghu, khu, huuu!" I scream in pain from my ears, from my chest, from my crotch, and from my tail hitting me like thousand needles, and I choke on something, and I start heaving, wheezing painfully as I shot up and I think curl into a ball with tears wetting my face.
"Cathie, it's alright!" I hear an urgent voice and my hands shot up to my ears and I almost let out a cry when I feel them intact. Oh, God. God.
"It's just a nightmare, you're alright." I hear the soothing voice again and I recognize it, and I scramble backwards and only manage to push myself into the hard wall. Ooow...
I look up through my teary eyes and I see the concerned, almost panicked face in front of me, and I... I wheeze, trying to... to... I don't know. I cough and burst into tears like a broken dam, wetness leaking down my cheeks like streams of pain, and I feel a pair of strong arms wrapping around my body, and I feel a warm cheek touching mine, unconcerned with my state, and I barely consciously lunge forward and wrap my arms and legs around this beacon in the dark.
"It's alright, Cathie..." I hear a soothing voice just next to my ear, and I only cry harder into the shoulder offered to me.
It's alright...
It's alright...
It's alright...