Out With The Boys

Normally, when somebody came into my office at the end of the workday, it was a woman hoping to go out on a date, and/or get laid. This time, it was instead Alexios, which was strange enough on its own. He was out of his superhero costume, instead wearing a very tight-fitting sleeveless top and shorts that only reached halfway down his thighs and hugged hard. What made it even stranger was what he said as he clapped his hands. "Roger. I'd like you to come with me, Hank, and Jacy down to get some drinks."

I responded as was my standard procedure when somebody asked me to do something social that didn't involve having sex by the end of the day: "Uhh, why?"

"Because you'll have fun?"

"I won't."

Alexios wore a brief frown at that. "Really? You won't have fun on a guy's night out? Come on. There'll be cute girls, maybe you'll get asked out."

"I have plenty enough cute girls in my life," I said, my thoughts briefly drifting over to Xico, who had been quietly listening in to the whole conversation - Xico promptly blushed.

Alexios caught it, giving Xico a quick wink, which just made her blush brighter. "Come on now, Roger. Have you ever really enjoyed basking in female attention?" My thoughts went to all the blowjobs I'd received, and either I or Xico must have let that show on one of our face's, because he let out a small laugh. "I don't mean like that - and the fact that you do, means you haven't. I know you didn't used to be hot, so you wouldn't know, but it's quite nice to go into a place and just have every woman's eyes turn your way. I think you'll really enjoy it," he teased.

"I think I'll enjoy going home."

"Ah... you really do try not to have fun," he said, with an overwrought sigh. "Here I am, trying to drag you out of your shell to spend time with a few of your coworkers, and you're desperately clambering right back in like a hermit crab." Some part of me pointlessly noted that he was using a fish metaphor, presumably, because he was part fish. Xico let out a small, choked snort. "If you really prefer it, then I suppose that I'll just have to be the belle of the ball again - every time we go out, I'm the one who gets all the attention from the ladies."

Even though we'd only interacted a very little bit, he'd somehow figured me out. The one thing I liked less than social occasions, was people being smug about being popular. All you had to do to be popular was either have, or pretend to have, a specific kind of personality: gregarious, energetic, charming. If you had it, that was simply your natural temperament, which you shouldn't claim credit for, any more than a neurotic should be blamed for being neurotic. If you didn't have it, then you were pretending to be someone you weren't, for the sake of popularity, which even the most vacuous of teen dramas can agree is a bad thing. "Fine. I'll go with you."

He smiled at that, showing off his teeth, the little round regular things still just as uniform as the last time. "Great! I'm sure Jacy will be happy to meet you. Come on," he said, with a jerk of his head.

"Right now?"

"...it's the end of the work day, Roger. When did you think we were going to go?"

"I'm not exactly dressed well."

"I think you look quite nice, and women don't care that much about what you wear," he said, as if he wasn't blatantly wearing the local equivalent of a crop top and booty shorts. Xico snorted, making Alexios's eyes widen in surprise. "Xico? I'd expect a snort at that from Lope, not from you. Who's rubbing off on you?"

Xico blushed at that, shaking her head hurriedly. "Roger..." She trailed off, not willing to break the code of silence regarding telepathy.

"Had a funny thought," I completed for her. She nodded in agreement. "Mainly, that when you're wearing that, it's a bit hard to take you seriously."

"Bah," he said, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'm not going to cover up in the hot weather up here. You know how cold it is in Atlantis?"

"Cold?" I prompted.

"Yes. And I wear something like my costume back there. I'd burn alive wearing a single other layer. But you're probably right, women do like it." He rolled his shoulders. "You have superspeed, so you can meet us at the Briarpatch, it's on 21st and Hampton. If you don't show up, I'll have to come to your house and drag you out, since you agreed." He said it with a gregarious smile that, were I a normal person, probably would have sufficed to make his comment come off as teasing instead of threatening. However, I am far too rational to fall for such things.

"Fine, fine," I grumbled, earning a laugh from both Alexios and Xico. I turned to Xico, whose eyes widened at my accusatory look.

"I had a funny thought too, Roger, that's all," Alexios said quickly - whether it was the truth or just something he was saying to defend Xico, I couldn't know. I decided I liked Xico enough to assume she wasn't laughing at me. Plus, she gave great head, so it was fine if she had a laugh at my expense, once in a while. A long while. Xico fidgeted just a little, nervously bouncing in the air, then decided to leave the building.

* * *

Briarpatch was a nightclub, and in point of fact had a "gentleman's night", waiving the cover charge and giving a 30% discount on drinks for men. It felt sexist, even though I'd never really cared about ladies' night (understanding the principle of encouraging female participation since men want to go to nightclubs more than women do), but, standing up for women's rights would just result in me paying more, not the womenfolk paying less, so I accepted the discount and waiving of the cover charge.

Hank didn't exactly dress up, but he didn't exactly need to, given he was six foot six and built like a gorilla. While it wasn't every girl's type, extreme muscularity was plenty attractive in this world, and definitely one of the primary subjects of women-drooling. It was closest to a girl with really big tits: some people might prefer them a few cup sizes smaller, but everybody was going to notice. He just wore a tight, white t-shirt and a pair of jeans that hugged his legs pretty tight.

Jacy - or at least, I assumed it was - on the other hand... he was a pretty thin guy, with a physique that came off as girlish. His choice of clothes didn't help any - he had a t-shirt with a dipping neckline and a bare stomach under it, and shorts as short as Alexios's, making him actually the least dressed of our group. He had messy black hair he'd done a small bun with, and wore a pair of glasses. From a distance, you could have confused him for a girl, though up close it was obvious he was just a feminine guy.

"Roger," Alexios said, as he saw me approach the table the three had already settled into. "You... well! I suppose that it can be hard to cut loose the first time." He looked me over with an expression that suggested my choice of clothes was questionable - I glanced down, and I was wearing a short-sleeved polo shirt, and slacks. Maybe a little dressy for this place, but I wasn't wearing more than Hank.

When you're confused about some social norm or violation you've broken, it's common to try to simply cover it up - also, stupid. After all, how can you avoid it in the future, if you don't ask? "What's wrong with my clothes? Hank's wearing as much as me." Hank gave me a quiet look.

Alexios's smile became a tad forced. "I'm sorry. I should have offered to help you pick out something hot." He really shouldn't have. "I don't want to be rude."

"He's just shy, you can stop bothering him about his clothing picks," Jacy said. "My name's Jason Christenson, but people call me Jacy," he said, offering one hand to me. I took it and shook it.

"Seriously, what's wrong with my clothes?" I prompted. "I need to know if I'm ever going to come out to a nightclub again in my life."

"It doesn't compliment your body at all," Alexios said, at last. "You want to show off what you've got. That's why Hank's wearing a tight shirt. Yours just shows off... a hint of bicep?" He proposed, as a kind of conciliatory suggestion. "If you want to look sexier, you should pop the buttons, then at least you'd be hinting at your chest. Your best trait is definitely your chest, so you want something that shows that off."

I tried to ignore the part of my cultural upbringing that suggested that Alexios was making a pass at me, or gay, or whatever else it might be bothering me about. I had never had a guy meaningfully critique my clothing choices, unless you counted my father getting me a suit for a job interview. Instead, I settled in at the table next to Hank and took a look around. Even a casual glance showed that the womenfolk here were... much more mixed than the ones at Star Heroic, in terms of physique. Everyone in Star Heroic were hot in their own ways - even Jacy probably appealed to some girls. They were all physically active, and novas apparently tended not to get acne, minor facial asymmetries, and other little things like that; the same with human-alien hybrids like Xico. Less diseases affected them, in the womb and as babies, so their body spent the energy elsewhere. There's a theory that this was responsible for strict symmetry in the first place.

The girls here, though - well, some of them had done themselves up nice, but even those, I don't know if any were as straightforwardly hot as Mira or Kate or Priscilla or Esther or Nora. I decided to say it. "Why come out here?"

"To pick up women, of course!" Alexios said. "Come on, Roger," he said with a smile. "Please tell me I didn't browbeat you into coming out when you didn't realize what we were here for?"

"I just mean, they're not that hot," I said, and the way the three of them looked at me - it was hard to describe. Like I'd said something vaguely distasteful. "Compared to our coworkers, I mean." I wasn't saying they were ugly.

It was Jacy who spoke up. "Yes, and we are the last four single men at Star Heroic." I didn't know that I would describe myself as single, but given what I was doing instead, I didn't correct him. Also, the paucity of single men did explain how I'd so easily wound up fucking a half-dozen different heroines.

"Don't be so shallow," Alexios said, keeping the charm up - he was more talking like he was trying to drag me into having a good time. "Some of the nicest girls I've ever met have been on the chubbier side. Life's more fun when you enjoy yourself properly."

"Our coworkers are both hot and superheroes," I said defensively. "How many of these girls are superheroes?"

"There's no reason to feel defensive, Roger," Hank said. "Alexios is just trying to get you in the right frame of mind. As to our coworkers - it's crude to name names, but, if you become well-acquainted with them, it's obvious that there are foibles that might prevent a happy relationship. Coming out here, there's always the chance of finding The One."

"Oo, speaking of one," Alexios said, perking up. "That girl's coming right for us."

I turned to look - she had a kind of goth-y style, though not hardcore. Dyed raven black hair, a black top, black jeans, but not like, skulls or a choker or anything like that. She was moderately attractive, maybe a six or seven out of ten, with a decent physique but nothing that really stood out. She came up to our table - and immediately spoke to Jacy. I was baffled. Even putting aside myself, there was the exotic Alexios, the unbelievably hunky Hank, and then there was the slim girly guy. "Hey, cutie. Mind if I join your little group, get to know you better?" I concluded quickly she was just using Jacy as an 'in,' which made more sense to me.

"Ah... I think Roger would rather be allowed to continue the conversation we were having without a woman overhearing." Naturally, the woman in question looked curious, but he just kept going. "So, let's go dance a bit and get to know each other better." She seemed positively delighted to go right to the dance floor with no prelude, rather than annoyed that she wasn't going to get to talk to Hank or Alexios.

"He's always first," Alexios said, with a smile and shake of his head.

"Really?"

Alexios quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, I suppose that women's types can vary by culture - perhaps it was different where you come from, but the pretty boy type is probably the most appealing to women nowadays." I just blinked at the blase proclamation. "I mean, you've seen the guys in the boy bands, haven't you?" He prompted.

I had. Jacy was probably more feminine than them, but they were like guys in boy bands back at my home: hot, slim, youthful. Jacy was way closer to that type than anybody except maybe me, and apparently I couldn't dress myself. "Yeah. I get it now. But I see girls talking about a guy with... muscles," I said, glancing at Hank. He should have been the exaggerated Adonis, surely? Or Aphrodite. Or whatever.

"It can be intimidating, too," Hank offered. I did have the vague sense that guys would sometimes avoid girls who seemed too out of their league.

"Sometimes it's me - I'm unmistakeable," he said, with a wink. "Ladies love a superhero. Sadly, my presence means they figure out that Hank and Jacy are White Knight and Flutterfly."

I ignored the impulse to ask after Jacy's codename - Flutterfly, really? It was unbelievably girly. "Why don't you have, like, paparazzi swarming around you, anyway? Or at least people looking for autographs?"

"We're too boring," Alexios said with a smile. "We have fairly regular drug tests, and I don't think we've had a single instance of infidelity in the entire time I've been with Star Heroic."

"I guess if you have telepaths hanging around, it's hard to keep things a secret," I said.

"That certainly doesn't hurt," Alexios agreed.

"So... do we just sit here and wait for women to come over to the table?"

"We talk, too!" He offered. "If you want, we can hit the dance floor. I had assumed you wouldn't want to, but it's a decent way to enjoy being close to a girl without having to really worry about her taking things farther than you'd like."

I was reasonably certain that, of the three of them, I was the least remarkable, even without getting into how apparently my clothing choices were too conservative. I might have thought I was more obviously attractive than Jacy, except he was currently dancing with a girl who had come over to ask for us. As such, going to the dance floor with the two of them seemed like it was destined for me to wind up as a fifth wheel. "Ah... I think not," I told Alexios, making him let out an exaggerated sigh.

"It's so weird to go up there alone, and Hank isn't too interested in the dance floor any more. All the women there are only looking for a good time, he says."

"I only want a serious relationship," Hank noted.

"Then why are you at a nightclub?" I asked, earning a bark of laughter from Alexios.

"In the hopes of finding a girlfriend, obviously. Maybe it's different back where you come from, but yes, this is where lots of people go out looking for a partner. The alternative is one of those brain-melting new apps, but those are awful." Hank nodded along.

I had taken a look at one of them. The women's profiles were mediocre more than anything else - poor selection of angle, not really made up well, dull profiles - but a glance through a few male profiles to check out the competition made them look truly terrible. Maximum BMI 22. Minimum cup size D. Don't message if your pussy is loose. Your hair must reach at least your shoulder blades. Redheads only. Just the most shallow garbage in there, which was even worse, since guys here generally weren't as shallow about appearances - meaning the app was blatantly catering to hookups. The only real variation of note on that theme was the desperate single father, who I felt bad for, given his proliferation here. (Presumption of custody went to the primary earner, rather than primary caregiver, in this America.)

"Can't you... get a hobby?" I suggested.

"Sure!" Alexios agreed. "You join a book club and maybe there's six or seven girls there you might date. How many women do you think come to Briarpatch? I'm pretty sure it's more than six or seven."

"Alright, I get it," I said, leaning back in my seat. "This isn't really my kind of place."

"Give it a chance," Alexios said, hopping to his feet. "Come on." His tail idly wagged behind him. "Try dancing, at least."

"I hate dancing."

He laughed at that. "Don't worry, you don't have to be good at it. No woman ever cared that a hot guy wasn't good at dancing, and this is a club. Come on." He gave a playful wink. "Do you want me to go out there alone? I'll come back with some beautiful woman, have her sit in my lap, maybe hand feed her." He really had my number. Somehow.

"Fine, fine," I said, getting to my feet to follow after him.

"Don't worry, if you're a bad dancer, it's kind of a plus - the girl knows she can't be much worse," he said, giving a laugh as an add-on.

On the dance floor, I was indeed painfully awkward. It was a skill I obviously hadn't cultivated in my previous life as a pudgy accountant, since it was irrelevant. Somehow, despite Alexios's dishonest claims that my being a bad dancer was a plus, he was the first one to get attention from a girl. As he started to dance away with her, I heard a female voice from nearby, over the din of the music.

"Roger?" I turned to look - it was May. She smiled. "A pleasant surprise to see you at this place," she said, smiling. "So many vacuous men around..." her finger immediately ran down my chest, her lips coming dangerously close. "But here is handsome Roger, all by his lonesome. Now, we could waste time, dance around awkwardly like a couple of schoolchildren - but I think that I know you rather better than that. Why don't we... go to the bathroom?" My cock twitched in my pants at the offer.

"It depends on what you're planning to do there," I told her, and she quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"I think you rather know what I'm planning to do there."

"Be specific."

"A man willing to go for a bathroom fuck with his neighbor, even though they could just as easily go home - but curious as to the specifics? What would you prefer, Roger?"

"Honestly, a blowjob," I told her. She grinned at that, actually.

"I think I can manage that. I suppose I do owe you for the other day, with Xico, after all."

Oh, yeah. I had given her cunnilingus while Xico had been blowing me. We'd met up that night, but she'd just fucked me, no reciprocal fellatio. I hadn't been thinking about the whole reciprocation/payback angle; I just really liked blowjobs. Still, it was serendipitous, because in short order, the two of us had managed to find our way into a stall in the women's bathroom, her pulling down the lid on one of the seats, wiping it down, and then sitting my ass on it. "Just let me set the pace," she said. She pulled my pants partway down, letting them tangle around my calves, then tilted my legs up, shifting my body awkwardly; she had to grab my cock and angle it downward, between my thighs, giving it a quick peck. "This way, if anyone comes in, it'll simply look as if I'm having some stomach troubles," she explained, one hand grasping my thigh to keep my legs held up. "But you... will have to be very quiet."

She sucked me to the base, then, mashing her nose into my pelvis. I groaned softly at the feeling, as her tongue slithered along the underside of my cock. She was clearly very, very skilled, because even being inert in terms of her body, just holding herself down on my cock, my length twisting a bit in her throat, she managed to stimulate me in all kinds of obscenely delightful ways. Her throat swallowed repeatedly around my cock, glugging around it, going so far as to hum as well, making my dick vibrate in her throat. Her tongue swished and tasted and stretched out to tease at the base of my dick, and her free hand - the one that wasn't holding my legs up, in that awkward position - reached for my balls, starting to gently fondle and play with them as she worked me over.

I just gasped softly, twitching a bit, bucking my hips at her face as best I could in that awkward position. She tightened her grip on my thigh, keeping me from slipping down and away, and just as I was about to start making more noise of pleasure - the door to the bathroom came open.

Immediately, my hands went to my mouth, trying to make sure that no noise came out, not wanting to be caught. Meanwhile, that only encouraged May, who sucked harder and harder on my cock, staying down there, eyes twinkling mischievously as whoever it was entered a separate stall, the one right next to me. I could just barely hear her breathing, making my heart pound overtime in my chest, certain I was going to get caught.

May, of course, was completely confident, slowly sliding her lips up my length, twisting her head gently from side to side, blonde hair bouncing one way then the other, her tongue slithering and tasting me, running along my crown before popping her lips off my dick. She breathed softly on it, staring up at me with a smile, giving me a quiet wink. She just teased my rock hard dick, then, one hand gently stroking up and down my length. Each exhalation she made brushed against the tip, sending sweet pleasure through me, teasing me further. She gave the occasional small peck, clearly quite enjoying having me totally at her mercy like this.

I bit my hand. I struggled to hold back any noise whatsoever, holding my breath for long periods and only letting in shallow breaths at superspeed, the hypoxia intensifying the pleasure I experienced. I tried using my superspeed to draw out the pleasure, exaggerating it for long subjective minutes, hoping that I'd come quickly in her mouth and be done with it. There was no such luck, the woman beneath me having a truly devilish capacity to tease my dick, to keep me on the edge without actually letting me come.

Eventually, after an interminable eternity, there was a flush from the stall next to us, and the quick vacation of its previous resident. I'd never been so thankful somebody hadn't washed their hands, as when the door swung closed and I could let out a miserable noise I'd been holding in, this whimpering exhalation with all kinds of grooves and bounces in the noise. May just grinned, continuing to stroke me.

"I'm good, aren't I? You love it. You want more, you hot little slut, don't you?"

"Yes," I breathed.

"Yes, what?" She prompted, smiling with a certain viciousness in her eyes, clearly very much getting off on the control she felt, here.

"Yes, my lady," I said - and she immediately swooped forward, swallowing my whole cock in her throat once more, beginning to rapidly bob. "Oh God," I said, my eyes rolling up as she sucked.

She twisted and coiled her tongue this way and that inside her mouth as she wetly bounced up and down my dick. Sometimes she'd hold herself down for long seconds, swallowing around my length; other times, she'd just slither up to the tip and suckle quietly on it, keeping her lips wrapped around the crown of my dick as she looked up at me. When she did that, she'd stroke me with her free hand, as she kept me in that awkward position, unable to really move, forced to just let her suck my cock.

Not that I minded. She was really fucking good at it, and the control she had over me probably intensified how good it was. She could shift my weight subtly this way or that, twisting my dick around in her throat; she could set the pace however she pleased, slurping me to the base and holding herself down, or teasing my cockhead with numerous tiny kisses; and her tongue, fuck. She was really good with it, finding all new places and ways to lick, twisting her head a full ninety degrees side to side sometimes, letting her tongue flash along the upper half of my cock as she caught herself in between my thighs.

I got a call at some point, a little chime song coming from my phone; I ignored it, even though I was pretty sure that I'd set that noise to Xico's number. Then there was a text, a ding noise coming from my phone. I managed to pull it out of my pants despite May's best efforts to keep me from doing so.

Hello are you okay Alexius is worried about you he says you disappeared text me back if you are okay so I can tell him

I just called her back, my fingers floundering in their attempts to type even one word. May just took that as a reason to really go wild, to force me to make noise for the woman on the other end of the line. "Mr. Cooper?" Xico asked politely, some concern in her voice, my breathing ragged.

"I'm, fine," I panted out. "Just, a bit, laid up, for a moment. Will be- nn, fuck, back with him, in, a, I don't know, bit," I said.

"Should I tell him... you're having sex?" Xico asked, making me sputter. "Is that a no?"

"It's a no," I managed to get out, before hanging up the phone without waiting for a response.

May just grinned as she popped off my cock, continuing to stroke me. "The blowjob as good as you'd imagined?"

"Fucking great," I sighed, and she dove right back down, bobbing desperately, really working me over, driving me absolutely crazy with pleasure, until at last I came in her mouth with a long shuddering twitch. She sucked down every last droplet, and then - and only then - finally let my legs down. I quietly pulled on my pants.

"Should we go straight back to your place, or would you rather dance?"

"I'd honestly rather show you off," I said, and she grinned.

"Oh? Now that's an amusing turn of phrase... you, show me off. I do believe you're the one who ought to be preening on my arm."

"I'm here with some coworkers, I want to show that I can totally get a beautiful woman." Who wasn't a coworker.

She just smiled at that, rising to her feet and rolling her shoulders. "Very well. Let's return to your little coterie, then. Shall I pretend that we just met, or...?"

"No need for that, just... be your usual self."

"I might inquire as to what that means, on the risk of being dreadfully offended."

I honestly didn't know what it meant. "Don't say I'm a slut, but be, you know. I want you. I want you to be my man. I want you to be my personal cook. I want to keep you in my harem. Whatever. Though, uhh, don't go too far, they might get protective."

"I am perfectly capable of restraining myself, when I'm not alone with you," she said, with a wink.

* * *

Back at the table, Jacy was sitting next to the girl he'd gone dancing with; Alexios was similarly seated, smiling brightly and with some relief when he saw me, a fairly good looking black girl on his flank (though she was definitely nothing compared to May). Even Hank had found somebody, a bespectacled, petite young woman with a ponytail, who was talking rather animatedly with him.

"Sorry, was in the bathroom," I told them, as I sat down.

"Ah, I checked for you in there. Is there another bathroom?" Alexios asked, frowning faintly.

"I wound up in the women's on accident," I admitted, earning a laugh from Alexios.

"I suppose that would do it. So, did you meet this woman there?" He asked, glancing at May. "Ah, this is Jennifer. She's actually a marine biologist, or so she claims."

"I am!" Jennifer replied, though it was good-natured. "Alexios was telling me about some of the megafauna that live near Atlantis," she added. "It's a relatively high-elevation region, so you get some life you wouldn't expect out of the Atlantic."

"This is May. We danced a bit," I lied. "She's very taken with me," I added, as I sat down.

"I would say that I'm more taking than taken," May said with a smile as she sat down next to me, idly wrapping one arm around me. She was definitely the hottest girl at the table, but unfortunately, none of the other people there seemed to particularly care. Not even the other women were intimidated by her presence. I wanted to selfishly enjoy the ego boost of people being jealous, yet I was denied that. "Roger wanted me to say, mm, something like, he's incredibly handsome and I want to make him my man."

Alexios laughed at that. "Well, I'm happy that you found somebody. Especially somebody willing to talk you up."

"Oh, should I say you're handsome too?" Jennifer asked. "Because you are an extremely unique and fascinating specimen of masculinity," she noted, one finger briefly brushing along his exaggeratedly large ear. "And handsome, too."

Alexios idly shifted his weight, pushing a bit more into her, encouraging her to play with his ear more. I glanced over at Jacy and his date - she had a similarly possessive bent to May, one arm wrapped around him as they chatted. "I'm happy to see you're alright, Roger," Jacy said, as he noticed my attention had turned her weight. "This is Addison," he said, with a brief jerk of his head towards the woman in question.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said, clearly not caring very much about me and being much, much more interested in Jacy.

Hank and his date - Leah, I learned, eventually - were even less interested, having some animated discussion about... Catholic doctrine.

Alexios's general enthusiasm, Jacy's casual disinterest, and Hank's focus on talking to the woman sitting next to him - they combined to make it absolutely miserable to try to lord over them the hot girl that I'd picked up. Within a few minutes of trying - May even helping me out - I gave up, and within twenty minutes, I'd come up with an excuse to head back to my place, whereupon I promptly got fucked senseless by May in my own bed.

That was much more enjoyable.