Vol.4 Ch.9 – Elven Hospitality

Chapter 9: Elven Hospitality

“So this is your old room?" I asked Alisha as I looked around.

It was a nice little room, not as enormous as the one Anna had back at the palace, but with the entire building being constructed in and around a tree there obviously wasn't that much space to go around. And despite the smaller size it still managed to look like a princess' room. The bed was huge and looked beyond fluffy and other than that there was a bookshelf and a desk as well as two doors that led to a private bathroom and a walk-in closet, respectively.

Oh, and a corner of the room held the web of a blue spider with a body the size of a balled fist. Alisha had told us about those. Frost spiders they were called and they emitted cold that helped keep the room nice and cool despite the warmth outside. And apparently they also caught and ate flies, mosquitoes, and all kinds of other undesirable bugs. The thought of having a spider big enough to wrap its legs around my face in the room I slept in was a bit disconcerting but Alisha had assured me that they never left their webs, except when they hibernated in winter, where they would wrap their webs around themselves like a blanket and then wait out the cold outside until the bugs awoke in spring, at which point they could be picked up and moved without issue.

The room looked very spartan, all things considered. There were few decorations and few pieces of furniture but everything that was there was of the highest quality and the only true difference between her room and Anna's was the lack of empty space.

“It is," replied Alisha's mom Sheila. “It's a very nice room, too, but Alisha never liked it much.”

I could see that. The other way this room reminded me of Anna's was that it looked like a stage prop, too sterile to belong to a person, especially a person as colorful as my love.

But instead of giving voice to that thought I joked: “Yeah, I can see why she wouldn't. It clearly lacks a fruit bowl.”

Sheila let out an explosive burst of laughter. “Well, it seems you know Alisha very well after all.”

“I hope I do," I said as I looked at Alisha, who gave me a slightly exasperated smile after my fruit bowl comment, then turned back to Sheila and asked: “I assume this is the part where you ask us a lot of uncomfortable questions except a lot nicer than your husband would have?”

She gave me a wry smile. “Pretty much.”

Sheila was a very good-looking woman, a bit shorter even than Alisha, who was already shorter than average for an elven woman, her hair a shade darker and even more unruly than Alisha's and her facial features just a little sharper than her daughter's. She was still very attractive and the main reason I'd been unsure whether she was Alisha's mother or not was because she just looked too young. Had you told me she was Alisha's older sister I wouldn't have been surprised. I mean, it made sense. Elves lived a lot longer than humans did so obviously that meant they would age more slowly as well.

“Then make yourselves comfortable so we can get this over with," Sheila said.

Alisha had already sat down on her bed and pulled me down to sit beside her. Once seated Sheila nodded and grabbed the chair by the work desk and sat down on it.

“Let us begin by rectifying my idiot husband's oversight," she said. “Please tell me what actually happened between you two and the Chosen One.”

And so the two of us took turns retelling the story of how Alisha had dumped the Chosen One and decided to travel with me instead. It was interesting to hear how fed up with the man she'd already been before the little stunt he'd pulled in that throne room and she blushed when I told her mother how impressive she'd been when she'd torn into him.

By the end of our story Sheila was giving us a warm smile. “Well, that certainly paints a different picture of the situation.”

“So, please clarify this for me," I said. “Did that Chosen One seriously come back here to spread lies about us?”

“Pretty much," Sheila said. “It's been a few months since then and with no word from you," she gave her daughter a look, “we had to assume his story was true.”

“If you did truly believe that I've done everything to her that you thought I had, why didn't you send anyone after me?" I asked.

“The truce we have with the royal family means our warriors aren't allowed to leave the forest without us asking for permission first.” Her lips pressed together in a thin line. “And asking for permission would have meant telling people about what had allegedly happened to Alisha.”

I thought it might have more to do with them not actually giving much of a damn about Alisha but I decided to hold my tongue.

“In any case," Sheila said, “I have to admit I'm glad things worked out the way they did. I didn't really like that little weasel of a Chosen One.” She paused, then seemed to change gears. “So, what have you been doing since then? How did you end up working for the royal family?”

We'd already told her that I killed Dark Lords for a living, so Alisha began by telling her mother how we had met Selene and Yume and then finished with: “And then the queen summoned us for an audience.”

“Why would the queen want you specifically?" Sheila asked. “Don't get me wrong, you seem competent enough, but are you really good enough to catch the queen's attention?”

Alisha hedged. “Felix has a certain reputation...”

I gave her hand a squeeze. “I am known as the Godsforsaken. Many of the gods, particularly the Olympians, hate my guts. And the queen specifically wanted me and my companions as a discreet reminder to the gods that she isn't beholden to them.”

There was that thin-lipped expression again. Yeah, a lot of people reacted to me that way. “And Brigid approves of your relationship?”

“Wholeheartedly," Alisha replied without hesitation. “He's never insulted her personally and she approves of how much good I get to do at his side.” She paused. “It also helps that he insults Bres almost as much as she does.”

Sheila let out another one of those explosive laughs at that. “So, what did the queen want from you?”

I shared a look with Alisha and I could see her silently asking if it was fine to share. I nodded and she told her mother: “At first we had to accompany Princess Annabella as her guard detail during negotiations... with Albion.”

Sheila's gaze snapped up to her daughter's face, searching it for any trace of deception. “Did you just say...?”

“Yes, mother. Albion is real. I spoke to some of the knights myself.”

“We have to tell everyone about this," Sheila said, halfway out of her seat.

“We will," Alisha said gently. “There's more to the story, anyway. The truth isn't quite the same as what our legends tell.”

“Very well," Sheila said. “So, what happened after that?”

“After that we were sent to investigate a group of cultists of the Black Goat," I said. I wasn't about to tell her all of the secrets the royal family had shared with us. I was beginning to trust Sheila, but after that stunt her sister wife had tried to pull I wasn't going to give them all unconditional trust. For a moment I was worried Sheila wouldn't know about the Outer Gods since Alisha hadn't known about them, but then she took my worries away and asked:

“When you say 'Black Goat', are you referring to the Cancer of the Woods? The Blight Upon Life?”

“Indeed I am," I said. “This cult tried to overrun the entire capital with their goddess' foul creations and we stopped them.”

“Good riddance," Sheila said and it was then I knew we'd be getting along just fine. “But on to more pleasant topics.” She looked between Alisha and me again, then her gaze pointedly went down to the assortment of charms I wore on my necklace.

There was the fairy quartz I shared with Alisha, the moon sapphire I shared with Selene and the alexandrite I shared with Yume.

Her scrutiny made me a bit self-conscious since I still hadn't found a charm worthy of Annabella yet. I needed to rectify this in the near future. Anna was already scared of not truly belonging to us.

But what kind of charm did one gift a princess? She could create sapphires out of thin air, so what point was there in gifting her any gemstone if she could create something more valuable on her own?

I was pulled out of my musings when Sheila said: “I already know what kind of relationship you have with my daughter, but what about the others? You two brought quite the assortment of beautiful women with you.”

“All of them are my lovers," I said, then paused and corrected: “Our lovers.”

Sheila tapped a finger against her lips and smiled a little. Elves had a pretty skewed gender ratio and because of that they had absolutely no taboos against women laying with other women, nor against a man having multiple women. Therefore I had no worries that Sheila might disapprove of the kind of relationship we had, but the way she regarded us still made me a little uncomfortable.

“Was it your idea to invite other women to join or was it hers?" she finally asked.

Alisha and I shared a look and she replied: “That was my idea. I think Felix was scared I would get jealous or something if he even considered a relationship like that so I had to give him a little push.”

“What about the princess?" Sheila finally asked and I winced.

“She's with us as well," Alisha said. “Felix just hasn't gotten around to giving her a necklace yet.” She looked at me. “Which you really should. She already seems so insecure about it.”

I finally voiced my worries: “I know, but what does one gift a princess? She can make her own sapphires for crying out loud.”

“It's not about—" Sheila began but I cut her off.

“I know, it's not about how expensive the gift is, but I carefully picked out all of their necklaces to fit them and I just can't find one that fits her.”

“I think you might have more success if you look for a charm in our market," Sheila suggested. “Our wares are different than those sold in the rest of the kingdom.”

I bit my lip as I thought about it. I knew Anna had an interest in the Wood Elves since they apparently had great herbalists, so maybe I would find something here that would fit her just right. “You know what, I think I'll do just that. Thank you.” I paused, then asked: “Speaking of our companions, where are they?”

“In a room down the hall," Sheila said easily. “Once we're done here we can collect them and have dinner. Not with my husband and my sister wives, of course. I fear that wouldn't really help with getting everyone to calm down.”

I nodded. “I appreciate you being the voice of reason in all of this.”

Of course I had no illusions about this woman being on our side. I still vividly remembered the way Alisha hadn't hugged her mother back and I knew Alisha wouldn't do something like that without reason.

“Somebody has to be an adult about all of this," she said breezily. “And I'm sure once my idiot husband has calmed down a little he will realize that you are a much better choice for Alisha than that slimy little whelp he gave her to before.”

“It's almost as if Alisha is a grown woman who should have been allowed to choose her own partner in the first place.” I couldn't help myself. It slipped out before I could stop it.

Sheila's lips pressed together into a thin line and she regarded me. I felt Alisha's hand clamping down on my wrist in worry but I didn't flinch and didn't back down as I met her mother's eyes. Finally, after a long moment Sheila said: “Maybe you're right.” She paused long enough to demonstrate she was changing the subject before she said: “I think we should get some dinner in you all.”

“Can it wait until I've perused the market?" I asked.

Sheila considered that a moment, then nodded.

**

“You really don't have to come with," I told Alisha as we made our way down to the market square.

“I kind of do," she said. “I don't know how far those nonsense rumors have spread and the last thing we want is for someone to refuse to sell to you because of them.”

I winced. “Yeah, that's true.”

“Plus, I'm kind of curious to see how you pick out a charm like this," she said. “I've always just seen the end result, but never the process.”

“There's really nothing to it," I said, looking around to pick out vendors that sold the kinds of wares I was looking for. “I just look around until I find something that's the perfect fit.”

“That can't just be it," she said. “Those charms you picked out were way too thoughtful for that. They aren't just useful, they also look just right.”

I chuckled. “Why thank you.” We walked for a while longer until I said: “I'm a little surprised your mother didn't insist on joining us. Looked to me like she was supposed to be our chaperone.”

“That last comment stung her," Alisha told me. “Which reminds me, I need to thank you for it later. I'm not really used to people standing up to my parents for me.”

“Sorry about that," I said. “It just pissed me off, the way they talk about you as if you're a trade good.”

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “And that's part of why I love you.”

I smiled and then stopped in my tracks when I noticed a stall full of little charms of various types.

“Welcome," the shopkeeper said as we approached. She was an older woman, and given the way elves aged I had to assume she had at least a century on both of us. “What can I...” She trailed off when she noticed Alisha standing next to me. “Lady Alisha?”

Alisha waved at her in greeting and said: “My husband is looking for a new charm to gift to our newest wife. We were hoping you might have something fitting.”

“Of course, of course, take as long as you need," the shopkeeper said, almost falling over herself in excitement. “It would be an honor. May I help?”

I smiled at her but shook my head. “Thank you, I'd rather browse by myself.”

She nodded and I gave Alisha a look, letting her know that I'd included her in that statement.

Looking for one of these charms had always been a bit of a personal experience for me and I didn't really want one of my women weighing in on it. This was something I was gifting to that woman in particular and I wanted it to remain a personal gift.

Alisha seemed to understand and kept talking to the shopkeeper, though she kept observing me as I perused the charms on offer.

Alone with my thoughts I considered what Annabella meant to me. She was a princess, but I didn't much care about that, and neither did she. She hated her royal title and obligations, but in the end, by birth she was still a Trismegistus. That part was important.

I wasn't going to treat her like a princess, but every single one of her family members, all the ones born to her lineage, had the same power as she did, the power to create gemstones. That meant gifting her any type of gem was pointless. Even if I didn't pick a sapphire, no matter what gem I picked someone in her family would be able to create something at least as impressive out of thin air, so I purposely avoided all the charms that had gems worked into them.

What else was Annabella to me?

She was sweet, sweeter even than Alisha, though part of that came from how starved for affection she was.

She was strong, not just physically and magically, but there was a strength of character to her. All her life she'd thought of herself as weak and useless and it had certainly taken a toll on her, but despite of it all she'd never given up. She'd followed her dream of becoming an herbalist and she was as dedicated to her craft as any healer and alchemist I'd ever seen.

She was smart. The amount of minutiae she was able to keep track of when she worked her craft was staggering and most of it she was able to do without even glancing at her notebooks. Even juggling four or five different recipes simultaneously was no problem for her.

She was gifted with her Qi, despite what she'd been led to believe all her life. I'd had months' worth of a head start on her and despite that she was rapidly catching up to my own abilities with Qi and thanks to her bloodline she was already able to do so much more than me with what she knew.

She was beautiful, absolutely stunning, even if she didn't seem to believe it. That short, glossy, curly brown hair framing a gorgeous face, those thin spectacles drawing special attention to her shining green eyes. That toned body and those sexy breeding hips and those tiny little breasts she was so ashamed of and that I so loved to play with. She didn't even know how gorgeous she was and that was despite all of us showing her what we thought of her every single day.

But in the end, no matter how strong and smart and beautiful she was, she had almost no self-worth. All her life she'd been mistreated to the point where a spectacular person like her felt lucky to be with commoners like us, with a scoundrel like me.

I looked at the charms in front of me again, at all the ones I'd dismissed, and then saw the one my hand was hovering over. It was a gorgeous little thing, a silver charm polished almost to a mirror sheen, with a design of interwoven knots, with no beginning or end to speak of. It was a symbol of strength and stability, of wholeness and oneness, one that spoke of being part of a group, of being cherished.

I pulled out my appraiser's loupe and checked what the charm would do for the wearer and then I felt my eyes widen. Yeah, this was the charm I'd been meant to find. It wasn't quite what I'd set out to find, but it fit perfectly nevertheless.

**

“I'd have thought there was more to it," Alisha said as we made our way back. “You just looked the charms over, then your eyes went distant and you looked like you were about ready to cry and then you picked a charm with certainty.”

“Well, what were you expecting?" I asked.

“I don't know," she admitted. “I guess I expected a bit more hesitation on your part. It was almost as if you just leaned forward and grabbed exactly what you wanted.” She paused. “Come to think of it, that's pretty much always how you go shopping. It's as if you always find what you're looking for, no matter how obscure it is.”

“Maybe I have a knack for it," I said with a shrug.

**

We had only been out maybe twenty minutes and when we reached the chief's residence one of the guards immediately went running to fetch Sheila. It was a far cry from how we'd been received before and I was glad we no longer had to weather glares.

Soon enough Sheila joined us again, now looking perfectly composed again, and we set out to find the others.

True to Sheila's word the room Selene, Yume, and Anna had been given was just down the hall from ours and we picked the three of them up and headed to a small, cozy dining room. I had a suspicion that it wasn't the dining room the chief and his wives would normally use and Alisha later confirmed it. It was the dining room for those who stayed at the chief's residence but weren't important enough to be invited to the proper dining room, like the chief's children and their friends. I thought of it as the kiddy table, especially because one of the tables was full of children that bore a suspicious resemblance to Alisha. It was confirmed when Alisha veered off course and went to their table, catching them all in a big group hug and greeting each of them by name.

I was worried we'd have to join her with the gaggle of children but Sheila dragged us to the largest table, telling us we could meet her other children in the morning.

I wasn't very good with children, but dining in the same room as the children was still much better than dining with the grumpy chief and his scheming wives. Well, his other wives, because Sheila seemed intent to dine with us.

Her mood had improved after my little barb at their treatment of their daughter and during dinner she talked to the others, though I kept catching her sneaking glances of her daughter when she thought Alisha wasn't looking. I wondered if Sheila realized that Alisha seemed much more relaxed whenever she wasn't paying attention to her.

Dinner was a simple casserole of potatoes, mushrooms and wild fowl meat. It seemed a little simple considering they had a princess as a guest and I wondered if it was meant as a deliberate insult until I saw Alisha's eyes light up at the sight.

“It's her favorite dish," Sheila confided as the food was brought out.

“You haven't seen how she acts when she has a slice of dragonberry on her plate," I countered.

“What's a dragonberry?" she asked.

“Maybe you'll get to find out later," I said.

She frowned at me in confusion but soon we were all too busy eating to talk much. It really was good food and I wondered aloud why Alisha had never made it before. She'd certainly made dishes like this, but never this dish specifically.

“I never managed to coax the chef into giving up the recipe," Alisha admitted. “She knows how much I like it so she's withholding it, making sure I come back for more. I do think I've gotten pretty close on my own, though.”

“It's the spices," Anna said, making us all look over at her. “It's a pretty unique blend. There's herbs in here I would never have thought to use in cooking.”

“Right," I said with a smile, “the fabled herbalist nose. Think you can suss it all out?”

“Already did," Anna said as she held up her little notebook. “I'm just considering what I can get out of Alisha for it.”

Before any of us could react Alisha summoned a little gust of wind that ripped the notebook out of Anna's hand and sent it on course to the crafty little elf.

Just before the little book reached Alisha's hand a spoon made of sapphire popped into existence and spun twice, first smacking the book away from Alisha and then blatting the elf in the face.

“Grr," Alisha growled and summoned another gust of wind to pull the book towards her but before it could reach her this time I snatched it out of the air and sat down on it. Alisha stared at me. “Give.”

“Nope," I said. “You can play around after dinner. And then we can see which one of you wants this notebook more.”

There was a time not too long ago when making suggestive comments like that in front of others would have made me feel self-conscious, but after overhearing the kinds of things mom's sister wives had discussed with my women my capacity for embarrassment had reached a new low.

Clearly things weren't too different here because Alisha's mom didn't bat an eye at my comment, though she seemed a little bemused as she saw how playful her daughter was around us. I had a feeling my love had been much better behaved before she'd met me. Apparently I was a bad influence on her.

I almost cracked up as I remembered Athena trying to warn Alisha off of traveling with me because I was such a bad influence. It made me wonder again why she hadn't come to bitch at me lately. And that, in turn, soured my mood as I remembered Syr teasing me about Athena.

Why couldn't I get this aggravating, petty, annoying, stuck-up bitch out of my head?

In the back of my mind I could clearly hear Syr tittering. She couldn't hear my thoughts unless they were especially loud and emphatic, which made the fact that she'd apparently heard all of that even more aggravating.

Shut up, I thought at Syr.

You're worried about her, she teased.

This isn't you shutting up, I grumbled.

You liiiiike her, came the response.

I made a growling noise deep in my throat that I really hoped nobody else would notice. There was absolutely no way I could like this overbearing, hypocritical, insufferable cunt of a goddess. Having her not bug me anymore was a relief, if anything.

“Felix?" Alisha asked. “What's wrong? You're blushing.”