Vol.4 Ch.7 – Dinner

Chapter 7: Dinner

I felt a little nervous as I helped Alisha with some last minute preparations. I truly did believe that I had misjudged Richard but just because he wasn't quite as much of a snooty noble as I had expected didn't necessarily mean his lovers would be as kind. And if either of them said anything about my women I wasn't sure what I'd do.

Then again, everyone had made a very concentrated effort to look above their station.

Alisha was wearing the knee-length white and green dress Anna had given her to wear during the gala dinner at the palace, the one that made her look like a fairy queen when combined with the gray-green butterfly wings she got when using her magic.

Selene was wearing the very nice, very tight pants Anna had picked out for her combined with the blue and silver tunic I'd fixed up for her on our first quest together. She loved that thing and I felt self-conscious every time she wore it because it certainly hadn't been my finest work.

Yume wore a white kimono with a pink cherry blossom pattern she had picked out at an imported goods store we'd found while looking for butchers to sell the Tiphereth meat to. She also had a very nice dark blue one Anna had given her but according to Yume it was too hot outside to wear dark colors.

Anna was wearing something similar to Selene's outfit, pants and a fine tunic but, unlike Selene's, her tunic was tight-fitting. The paladin couldn't afford to wear tight tunics because such clothes looked positively obscene with her curves, but Anna could get away with them. It also warmed my heart that Anna was showing off her lack of bust more and more. Her adventuring clothes had been skin-tight already, but now she was wearing tight clothes pretty much all the time.

And finally I had picked out my normal fancy clothes consisting of dark pants and a dark tunic with white trim. For just a moment I had considered letting Alisha pick out my clothes but the kinds of clothes I ended up wearing whenever I did were not appropriate to meet strangers in.

We were all buzzing around the villa making sure everything was prepared when there was a knock at the door. I caught Anna's eyes and she gave me a nod, her hands full carrying some wine bottles up from the cellar, so I went and opened the door.

I opened it to find Richard and his two lovers. They had been right on time.

Richard was wearing the same clothes he had been during his duel with Anna and I couldn't fault him. They fit him perfectly. But what really caught my eye were his two lovers, Linda and Charlie.

Anna hadn't been exaggerating. I could not for the life of me tell that one of them wasn't a woman. Both of them were gorgeous blondes, shorter than average though not quite as short as Yume, and they both looked like life-sized dolls. They had pale skin, perfectly styled hair, eyes so blue they almost glowed, lovely pink lips, and they wore the frilliest dresses I'd ever seen, the kind you usually only saw on porcelain dolls, one of them wearing a light blue dress and the other wearing a pink dress. The dresses were frilly like the golden one Anna owned that I hated so much, but in their case it was likely to hide the fact that one of the twins was a man and therefore flat as a board.

“Prince Richard," I said, addressing the prince first.

“No titles please, Felix," he said quietly, then took a breath to introduce his lovers, but I preempted him.

I had already decided to play dumb since it wouldn't do to let them know how much Anna had told us, so I looked over at the two lovely women and added: “I had no idea you were such a cad, Richard. Who are these lovely ladies?”

He gave me a quick but genuine smile as he told me: “You're one to talk.” He cleared his throat, then introduced the twins: “These are the loves of my life, Linda and Charlotte.” From the way they curtsied when he said their names I could tell that the beauty in the blue dress was Linda and the one in the pink dress was Charlie.

“Pleased to meet you," Linda said as she reached out her hand, palm down, waiting for me to kiss it, which I did.

“Y-yeah," Charlie said quietly, giving me his hand to kiss as well. “Pleased to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine," I told the two beauties. “Please come in.”

“So, you're the one who managed to snare Annabella?" Linda asked. “I always pictured her on the arm of a lovely woman instead.”

I smirked. “You'll see," I said.

I walked the three of them to the dinner table and showed them to their seats, pulling out the chairs for the twins and I could see their eyes widening as they saw my lovely women flitting around the room.

Anna was the first to approach them and she hugged the two in turn before catching her brother in a hug as well. She had been beyond thrilled once she'd learned that all of us were alright with her inviting him.

Linda looked around to see all of my women around the living space and asked: “Annabella, dear, did you invite your friends along?”

I bit back a chuckle. She really wasn't getting it.

Anna looked away from Linda and caught my eyes and we gave each other a smirk before she explained to the noblewoman: “No, they're my lovers.”

“A-all of them?" Charlie asked in shock. Good gods, his voice sounded higher and more feminine than even that of his sister.

“What can I say?" Anna said with a chuckle. “Felix seems to have a certain magnetic pull to him to be able to attract and bind so many gorgeous women. Gods above, they even let someone like me join them.”

Linda narrowed her eyes at Anna's self-deprecating remark, which instantly made me like her more.

**

Soon enough our guests were seated and I was helping Alisha with the roast.

“I looked into your investigation a little," Richard admitted. He had been surprisingly pleasant and even Yume no longer seemed furious at him, though she was spending her time talking to Linda rather than him. “The reports seem a little vague, but is it true that you fought Wilhelm in the dungeon?”

My eyes widened and I looked at his lovers, worried this would be news to them, but apparently he'd either told them or news among the nobility traveled fast because they did not seemed shocked.

“We did," Anna said. “He was..." she paused, “using Outsider magic.”

“Gods above," Richard said. “I didn't know he'd be that far gone.”

Anna nodded her head somberly.

“Right, that reminds me," Selene said, surprising us. “I was wondering about that.” She looked between Anna and Richard. “The reason we were able to catch up with the cultists was because dungeon malice doesn't affect the royal family, right?” She paused and I was worried for a moment. Technically we weren't supposed to discuss this with anyone outside the royal family but clearly Linda and Charlie were close enough to Richard that neither he nor Anna saw a problem with what Selene had said. “So, shouldn't the cultists have been immune to it as well? They had a member of the royal family along as well, didn't they?”

I blinked. I hadn't considered that, but she was right, wasn't she? Why had they been slowed down so much when we hadn't?

“More to the point," Yume added, “why did they get lost so much? Why didn't Prince Wilhelm simply steal the journal we had with us? He went into the dungeon long before us.”

“Well, I can at least explain that," Anna said, looking at Yume. “The journal wasn't part of the palace library. It was part of mother's personal collection. I didn't even know such a book existed until she handed it to me.”

“What journal are you talking about?" Richard asked.

“Right," Anna said. “Mother gave me great-grandfather's journal, the one where he documented his descent into the depths of the dungeon. He listed the enemy types, the treasures and valuables, and even described the way forward. Wilhelm's group was running into constant dead ends. We could tell by the trail of bodies they left in their wake. But for us the way was clearer and much shorter.”

“Huh," he said. “Would you be willing to let me have a look at it?”

“I already gave it back to mother," Anna said. “But if you're curious I'm sure she'll let you study it.”

“That still leaves Selene's question," I reminded them and Richard and Anna sank back into thought. I said: “Personally I would assume that whatever protection the dungeon grants the royal family was lost to Wilhelm when he made a bargain with the Black Goat.”

“That would make sense," Charlie said. He'd been rather quiet but I had noticed very quickly that it wasn't because he had nothing to say. He was very smart, just timid and quiet. “I once read the work of a scholar who claimed that the dungeons were created by the gods, as a method of making mortals more powerful, to allow them to stand against the Outsiders.”

I smirked at that but decided not to say anything. The idea that the dungeons were a way to toughen us up made sense. We'd had that same thought while descending the dungeon as we'd been growing stronger and stronger thanks to the accessories and mystic fruit, after all. But the idea that the gods had created the dungeons was ludicrous. Even they weren't powerful enough to do that. The gods had to pretend that the royal family was only in power thanks to their decree and if they were responsible for the dungeons that pretense would not be necessary. It would just be simple truth. But it wasn't.

Instead of shattering Charlie's worldview I simply pulled the roast out of the oven and placed it on a cutting board, letting it cool down a little before I started slicing it. Alisha was busy pan-frying the vegetables, adding a little white wine to deglaze the pan.

“So, you are interested in dungeons?" Alisha asked Charlie.

I looked back to see him blush. It was a great look on his doll-like face.

“Not quite," he said. “I am interested in mercantile and profit. I am interested in them for being a font of wealth.” He paused. “Well, I guess I don't have to tell you that. You've just spent weeks in one.”

“You say that as if you're interested in dealing with us," I said with a smirk.

“Well, if you have rare and valuable materials from the dungeon I would be glad to arrange something with you in our father's name," he replied.

I smiled and busied myself with thinly slicing the roast and then plating it up. Every time I finished a plate Alisha added a pile of the fresh vegetables. Once I had all eight plates prepared I took two and placed them in front of Linda and Charlie.

“I'd love to discuss this with you over dinner," I told Charlie as I put the plates down, then went to pick up the next set.

Soon everyone had a plate in front of them.

“So, what have we here?" Linda asked. “It looks and smells positively delightful.”

“Thank you," Alisha said with a smug smile. Oh yes, the elf could cook and she knew it. “This is roast meat from the boss of the fourth floor of the Crystal Crown's dungeon. It's probably the best meat I've ever worked with.”

Richard was about to pick up his cutlery but Alisha shot him a glare and he dropped it as she folded her hands and began a short prayer to Brigid. “Oh goddess, the hearth is your domain and so is all that your humble servant creates upon it. I ask you to bless the meal we have prepared, to bless this gathering and those who shall partake in this meal.” She paused for a long moment, then opened her eyes and smiled at everyone. “Dig in!”

I couldn't help but smile. She only rarely bothered with saying a blessing before dinner. I had once wondered if she only did it to keep up appearances, but the real reason was even more amusing. In truth she did it because the wait would make everyone hungrier, which would in turn make the food seem even more delicious for the slight delay. It was the same logic by which she liked to be teased endlessly during sex.

“Oh gods," Richard said as he tried the first bite. “It's amazing.”

“It really is," Charlie agreed. “Is there some way to get more of the meat?”

I smirked. “Well, we sold a lot of it to a dozen butchers around the capital over the course of the week, but we still have more and I'm sure we can agree on a good price.”

And with that negotiations were open. Linda and Charlie were the heirs to one of the largest merchant families in the kingdom, a family that owned an enormous share of the caravan network, and so they of course had a sense for business, though I got the impression that Charlie was the more business-minded of the two while Linda was better at dealing with people.

I casually mentioned that Martin Merchant was my step-father and that shocked Charlie.

“Are you sure he's just your step-father?" he asked me. “Because you seem to share his sense for business.”

I chuckled. “Believe it or not, but I recently had cause to think the exact same thing.”

In the end Charlie had me list the things we'd dredged up from the dungeon that we hadn't yet been able to sell, either because they were too valuable or because they were simply difficult to shift, like the giant pile of gemstones with major enchantments on them, which were too valuable to sell as they were so we had to let an enchanter take the enchantments off and pay us for them before then selling the gems themselves. Charlie was all but salivating at those.

“And then there's one thing I don't really want to sell," I admitted.

“What is it?" he asked.

“The skull of an elite enemy we fought," I said. “It was a giant snake, with crystallized flames coming out of the skull that look like horns.”

“Why wouldn't you sell it?" he asked.

“It's too impressive," I said. “I considered donating it to the Adventurer's Guild. It's too good to simply hack up into parts.”

His eyes widened in horror. “Of course not, but you can't simply donate it. The Guild pays top coin for trophies like that.” He paused. “Well, if you had someone to mediate the transaction for you.”

I had a pretty good idea of who that someone would be. “How much?" I asked.

“Ten percent referral fee," he offered.

“Done," I said.

“I didn't think you two would be getting along so splendidly," Richard commented. “I'd expected you to be as different as two people could possibly be."

“What can I say?" I said. “We both have a mind for business.”

“Oh gods no," Alisha muttered, but she was smiling as she did.

“Speaking of business," I said as I turned back to Charlie, “once we're done with this dish I'd like to show you something in our garden that I think you might be very interested in.”

He had a shrewd glint in his eyes as she said: “I seem to recall your step-father made a good portion of his wealth with golden apples. You wouldn't happen to be talking about those, would you?”

I smiled. “Even better.”

**

When everyone had finished their plates of Tiphereth meat I took Charlie out into the garden and I noticed Richard following us. Was he worried I'd steal his lover away?

I almost snorted at the idea. Sure Charlie was cute. In fact, he was pretty enough to forget that he was actually a man under that frilly dress and fluffy hair, but I wouldn't take away someone else's lover. The only time I'd technically taken someone's lover away had been with Alisha and she had dumped him before I'd even started seeing her as a potential partner. And even if I did try to seduce Charlie, he was clearly smitten with Richard.

But Richard's worries were laid to rest when I led the young heir to the plants. A normal plant would have barely been visible a week after the seed had been planted but these magical plants were different. They were nowhere close to harvesting yet, but some of them were already up to my knees.

“These are from the dungeon, aren't they?" Richard said reverently as he squatted down to examine one of them.

“Indeed," I said. “The fruits from the first floor aren't that useful, but the ones from the second and third are tremendously powerful, one enhancing a person's body and the other enhancing their senses.”

“And you'd be willing to part with them?" Charlie asked.

“For now I'd part with the fruits," I said. “Once they're grown, obviously. The next time I go visit my mother I would barter for the seeds with my step-father.”

Charlie made a grumbling sound. “You want to strengthen his hold on mystic fruits even more?”

I smiled. “I was considering making your family his main distributor and maybe keep a tiny percentage of the profits for me and mine.”

Now Charlie smiled. “I really like how your mind works. And it would give us a quasi-monopoly on the distribution throughout large swathes of the kingdom.”

“If they're so profitable why has nobody else thought to do that?" Richard asked from besides us.

“They're magical fruits, grown from magical trees," I explained. “You need soil rich with mana for them to grow at all. A lot of adventurers find such fruits, eat them, plant the seeds near their home, and then nothing happens. But right here we're close enough to the Crystal Crown that the soil is rich enough in mana for that to not be an issue. And the soil in Aphrodite's Orchard is just as magical or it wouldn't be able to support the golden apple trees. That's why such fruits are so damn expensive.”

“But still," he said. “I can't help thinking that if mother thought she could make a profit with them she already would have.”

“I think you'll find that her majesty is going to send many expeditions down to the third floor in the near future to harvest these fruits for her troops," I said. Or at least I hoped she would be taking the threat of the Outsiders seriously enough to prepare in such a way.

“Don't worry," Charlie told Richard. “This won't hurt the royal family at all. These fruits will end up at least as expensive as golden apples so it's not as if many people will gain access to them.”

That seemed to mollify the prince. “What about the fourth and fifth floor, then? Have you found fruit trees there as well?”

“We did," I said. “The fruits we found in the treasure rooms there were a bit more enigmatic, to the point that your great-grandfather couldn't puzzle out what they were meant to do.”

He stared at me. “But you managed to find out what they do.” It wasn't a question.

“Yeah," I said. “Let's just say that training and talent weren't the only reason Anna beat you so handily.”

His eyes widened and I could tell he knew exactly what I was getting at. “Will you be selling those, too?”

“Honestly I'm conflicted," I said and I could see both him and Charlie studying me. I wondered if Charlie knew what we were talking about. “Barely anyone in this kingdom would even understand the value of these fruits. I'm sure they would sell out if we sold them in the southern realms, but quite frankly I don't know enough about politics to know how big a mistake I would make if I gave a neighboring country the means to get stronger.”

Richard's eyes widened. “I hadn't expected you to think through it that far.”

I shrugged. “And of course there's the other problem.” I indicated the plants again.

The plants grown from the seeds we'd brought from the first, second and third floor reached my knees. The dragonberry plant already reached my navel. The plant of the meridian cleansing fruits was a tiny little sprout that barely reached the hem of Charlie's very modest dress. And the seed we'd taken from the fifth floor was still just a seed.

“I fear they will take forever to grow," I explained. “Or maybe the soil isn't magical enough for them.”

“If the soil here isn't good enough then I doubt it would work any better in Aphrodite's Orchard," Charlie said. “Oh well, the rest is good enough.” Then he pointed at the dragonberry tree. “What about this one?”

I looked behind us to see Alisha at the door, about to call us back for dessert. “Let's go inside and you'll find out," I told the two of them.

**

The cake Alisha had made wasn't the most impressive I'd ever seen but it certainly ended up being one of the most delicious I'd ever eaten. It was a simple pound cake batter topped with slices of dragonberries and those in turn topped with streusels. Once it had come out of the oven and cooled down a little Alisha had given it a liberal dusting of powdered sugar and then served it with whipped cream. It was a very indulgent dessert and simply tasted amazing. Charlie and Linda were both amazed at the cake and, as I had predicted, Charlie immediately wanted me to set him up with dragonberry seeds and I decided to work something out with Martin for that as well. I was wondering when I'd get to meet up with him to work all that out. I had promised mom I'd come by more often and I had promised Anna to introduce her to my mother, after all.

After dinner, to my surprise, I found Yume talking to Richard and she did not look like she wanted to break his legs, which I took as a positive sign. The man was still just a bit arrogant from what I'd heard during dinner but he was nowhere near as big a bastard as I'd thought when I'd first met him. And it warmed my heart to see Anna so relaxed around him. I didn't know her that well yet but I could tell that a bit of tension she'd carried with her for a long damn time had finally vanished.

When Charlie started yawning uncontrollably Richard and Linda decided they'd outstayed their welcome and went home.

All in all I thought the evening had gone great. If what I had negotiated with Charlie came to pass we would be pretty much set for life when it came to mun, Richard and Anna were comfortable around each other again, Yume apparently no longer wanted to beat Richard to a pulp and Alisha and Linda seemed to have had a lot of fun together. I would need to ask about that later. I simply refused to believe the daughter of a duke would be interested in cooking, so what other topic had the two women bonded over? I could feel myself start to sweat as I thought of a couple topics. Alisha was a bit more... liberal with what she was willing to share about our relationship than I was as I had learned when she'd spent some time talking to one of my mom's sister wives and that night she'd... ahem... gone where no woman had gone before. I shivered at the memory. It had been embarrassing and I still wasn't sure if it had been more humiliating for her or for me, but... it had felt pretty fucking amazing.

“So this went pretty well," I said into the void, then turned to Yume. “You didn't even try to eat Richard.”

“He apologized for his behavior," she said quietly. “It was the last thing I expected, but it's good to see he's not as much of an ass as I thought he was.”

“In case you're curious, Linda told me he's been kicking himself for what he said to all of you," Anna offered.

“That's good to know," Yume said. “Maybe I did misjudge him after all.” She paused, then looked at me. “So, what did you talk about with Charlie?”

I shrugged. “I may or may not have made us all rich. We'll have to go talk to Martin some time soon.”

“That was your step-father's name, wasn't it?" Anna asked.

“Indeed," I said. “I guess you'll end up meeting my mother sooner rather than later.”

“Lovely," she said. “I didn't want to bug you about it but I was a little excited to meet her.”

“You'll love her," Alisha assured her. “And her sister wives.”

“Then I suppose we should make plans to head there as soon as we're done with our diplomatic missions," Anna said.

Alisha let out a little shaky breath at that and I gently reached out and gave her hand a tender squeeze. She relaxed a bit at that.