Vol.3 Ch.11 – Inch By Inch

Chapter 11: Inch by Inch

It took us quite a while to get the eight corpses into a neat pile before we could head over to the royal guard's guardhouse to report the incident. If we hadn't had a princess with us I would have worried about what the royal guards would make of that but no member of the royal guard was stupid enough to defy the royal family. Well, except maybe that Helmut guy back at the castle. So instead of getting into trouble they simply took our statements and thanked us for arranging them together for easy disposal.

At the Ale 'n' Eats we pooled together all the loot we'd grabbed off the bodies and divided it roughly by five.

Annabella seemed a little confused when I pushed part of the loot over to her.

“You realize I'm a princess, right?" she asked.

“You said you wanted to be treated as part of our party," I said. “And you said you don't like using your family's wealth for your work as an herbalist. So, you get a cut.”

She blinked, but then nodded and pocketed her portion.

Of course, her part of the loot had included most of the poisons and other concoctions as well as the recipe books we'd taken off the assassins because she had far more use for all of that than we did and she did seem genuinely excited about some of the stuff.

The loot had also included a not insignificant amount of mun, presumably because they'd asked to be paid at least partially in advance and we divvied that up equally as well.

I desperately wanted to ask her about the strange magic she'd used against them but it was late and so we retired, setting up a guard shift for her again. She tried to argue about it given that the assassins were dead but we told her that we were taking our job as her guard detail seriously and that if she didn't want to be coddled she should hurry up and finish the negotiations so we could go adventuring.

She replied that she wanted to be done with it as well and stuck out her tongue at me before going to bed.

**

The next day of negotiations turned out to be even drier than the last one. The first few hours were the continuation of last night, them haggling about quotas, but then the next phase began, where they had to actually pen the agreements, arguing over every turn of phrase and its possible interpretations. Previously they'd at least argued about things that mattered. Well, sort of. There wasn't all that big a difference in a 3.5% tax versus a 5% tax on imported goods. But now? Now they were arguing about things that would never matter unless a particularly contemptible shyster got his hands on the agreements.

They ended up breaking off a few hours earlier than the day before and at Annabella's urging we went to the beach to unwind a little. She'd even put on her adventuring clothes for it, just to get out of the dress for a few hours.

Calice had a gorgeous shoreline, but the beach itself was a little uncomfortable. Instead of smooth sand it consisted of hand-sized smooth oval stones piled on top of each other. Very nice to look at but amazingly uncomfortable unless you had a couple blankets to lay over them.

Annabella sat closer to the water than we did, staring out at the waves crashing against the smooth rocks and finally I stood up and sat down next to her.

“Good work today," I said as I held a bottle of beer out to her.

She accepted it with a nod and took a long pull from the bottle. Any woman who could take a drink like that couldn't possibly be a dainty little princess. “Thanks," she said. “It's all so exhausting. I hate this political nonsense. Even when dealing with genuinely good people like them it's annoying.”

“I believe you," I said. “I was bored to tears just watching it. A lot of people would punch me for saying this, but I don't envy your status.”

She chuckled. “I'm actually already insulated from the worst of it, being the last in line to the throne. But I could still do without it. I just want to travel the world, kill monsters and gather herbs.”

“It is a very fulfilling life," I agreed. “Help people, eat well, have everything you need.”

“I'm surprised you haven't asked about my magic yet," she said, out of the blue.

“Oh, I'm dying to," I said. “But if you wanted to talk about it you would have.”

She flashed me a brief smile and then stared out at the sea again. “True."

“So," I said. “When I'm down and annoyed I think of a good memory to calm my nerves. So how about it?”

“What?" she asked. “You want me to tell you a happy memory?”

I shrugged. “I want you to think of one," I said. “Up to you if you want to tell me.”

“Any particular kind of memory you had in mind?" she asked.

“Well, if you're offering, I'm curious about your reaction when I spoke of alraune and their leaves.”

In the dim moonlight I could just barely make out a hint of color on her cheeks. “If I'm sharing that, I want to hear one of yours first," she said.

I shrugged. “Most of my happy memories aren't exactly appropriate for public discussion."

“Neither is what you want to hear," she said, confirming my suspicions.

“Fair enough," I said and began telling her the story of the first time Alisha, Selene and I had played together.

I told her of how I'd met Alisha through the Chosen One she had been engaged to and how his behavior had made her break things off with him and how she'd then slapped him unconscious. I spoke of how just a day later, after we decided to work together, we'd met Selene and joined her on her own quest to slay a Dark Lord. I skipped over a few of the details of the journey but I did tell her how I messed up, causing the beautiful blonde to get hurt. I spoke of how, just days later, Selene had given her first time to me before we arrived in her hometown, where she had realized that nobody cared about her, they just cared that the Dark Lord was gone. And then I spoke of how she had decided to come with us because she had fallen for both of us.

“And what about the two of you?" Annabella asked. “How did you feel about her?”

I smiled. “That night when Selene was catching her parents up on everything that happened we felt lonely. We were terrified that, after what had happened to her, she wouldn't ever want to leave her hometown again, let alone go adventuring with us.” I gazed at the ocean as I fell more deeply into the memory. “But she didn't do that. She wanted to face her fears head-on. And she wanted to stay with us. Bringing her parents more mun than they had ever seen in their lifetime hadn't hurt, either.” Annabella winced at that. “And then, that night...” I didn't go into too much detail, but what I did share made her look away in embarrassment.

“And they truly don't mind sharing you?" she asked.

“Not at all," I said. “It's not as if they mind playing with each other either. So, have you ever been with more than one person at a time?”

She flashed a quick grin before she schooled her face. “Just once, with two beautiful women I met on a journey," she said. “It was a little awkward because I barely knew them, but it was still fun.”

“Yeah," I said. “I get that. So, about the alraune...”

“You're not going to let this go, are you?" she asked.

“You don't have to share if you really don't want to," I said. “But your reaction made me think the memory held a special place in your heart.”

She looked away. “It does," she said. “It's not very romantic, but... you never really forget your first, do you?”

I stayed silent. No, you didn't, even if it wasn't very good.

“Alright, alright, you win," she finally said. “But only because you made me a little nostalgic. So, I was eighteen, a year before the age of majority. It was one of my first journeys, my second or third, I can't remember. I had ingredients in mind for a few different potions, among them a panacea and a potion to help against infertility.” She said the last part with a rueful little chuckle and I knew there was more to the story but didn't interrupt her. “So, for these two I needed alraune leaves and alraune sap, respectively. The recipe book had put 'alraune sap' in quotation marks. That should have been a tip-off. But back then I didn't know any better so I went in search of an alraune willing to help me. Most of them turned me down because I was 'too young' or because they didn't deal with women. I didn't know why that would matter when I just wanted some ingredients. Not then, at least.”

I smiled. Yeah, I could see that.

“But finally I found an alraune willing to help me out. Of course I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but she was patient and explained to me how I had to touch her to get what I wanted. I was a virgin then. Of course I should have realized what was going on a lot sooner than I did but for some reason the sex education I had received had left out any mention that women could do that sort of thing together.”

Obviously. She was a princess, so they only cared about her popping out as many heirs as possible. If she laid with women in her spare time nobody would care. But nobody would openly acknowledge it, either.

“So it took me way too long to understand what exactly she had me doing and by the time I realized it I was already, ahem, in too deep to stop.” She paused and then muttered very quietly: “About two knuckles too deep.”

At that I couldn't contain myself anymore and asked: “So, alraune sap is really...”

“Pussy juice," she explained, her face so red it was noticeable even in the moonlight. “Or what passes for it for alraune. It's a lot...” She trailed off.

“Stickier," I finished. “Slightly amber in color.”

“Exactly," she said.

“Did she return the favor?" I asked.

Annabella shook her head. “She might have but I didn't stay to find out," she said. “After I was done, after I realized what I'd just done, I was out of there like greased lightning. Almost forgot my satchel, too.”

At that I couldn't hold the chuckle in anymore.

“Don't laugh," she said. “I'm sure your first time was just as awkward.”

“It was," I admitted.

“Let's hear it then," she said.

“I gave you a story already," I countered.

“But it wasn't your first time," she said.

I sighed. “Alright," I said. “But it's not nearly as grand a story.”

She just looked at me.

“So, I grew up in a little town called Athena's Grove," I said and she winced, telling me she probably knew what had happened to it. “It was razed to the ground by a Dark Lord but my mom and I were out at the time, so we survived and moved to the nearby village, Aphrodite's Orchard. I was new there, barely anyone knew me and I didn't really know anything about the place either. As the name suggests, the village temple is dedicated to Aphrodite, so it's a fertility temple.”

Annabella nodded and I continued:

“When you're fifteen, a fertility temple is crazy. You can't walk past it without hearing the kinds of sounds a fifteen-year-old only fantasizes about. Teenagers my age made a game of listening in, of trying to catch glimpses of the couples inside. There was this little hilltop and it had a great view of the temple, specifically of one of the bedrooms. If the couple laying in that bed didn't draw the curtains you could see everything from that hill. So, one evening I was there and so was Maggie Farmer, whose parents took care of the cows and made milk and cheese. The joke among the children was that her parents had given her too much milk because she was... extremely well endowed for fifteen.”

Annabella glanced down at her lack of chest and then said: “Yeah, boys love that, don't they?”

“I can take 'em or leave 'em," I said. “But the thought of being with the girl that everyone else was ogling was pretty exciting.”

“You don't need to lie on my behalf," she said. “I know what men like.”

I looked at her seriously and saw a flash of insecurity on her face. “Has that happened to you?" I asked. “A man not being interested in you because of your chest?”

“Many times," she said.

“Is that why you prefer women?" I asked. It was a very impertinent thing to ask but I felt like it needed to be asked.

“Not just, but yes," she said. “Precious few men have been able to see past my figure. And what else is there? My charming personality? Who believes that shit?”

She was getting worked up, so I snorted and said:

“I mean, first of all, from what I've seen so far you do have a personality I'd like to get to know better but even if we were just talking about looks, you'd still be a knockout. You're fit, you have great sexy hips and you've got a gorgeous face going for you.”

She blushed and looked away, then asked: “Do you really mean that?”

“Any man who refuses you because of your chest is an idiot," I said very clearly.

“Then I've met a lot of idiots in my life," she said.

“Probably," I said. “Like that asshole tailor who designed your dress.” She tilted her head to the side in confusion, so I explained: “My parents are tailors, so I know why a tailor would add those frills to the chest, alright? He thought it was something shameful he needed to hide, didn't he?”

I saw her hands clench into fists over her pants. “He did," she said. “He said nobody would take me seriously if he didn't hide my inadequacies.”

“And you let him talk to you like that?" I asked.

“My mother hired him," she said.

“And what did your mother say when she first saw that dress?" I asked.

That gave her pause. “She frowned at me," she said. “I thought I put it on wrong.”

“Yeah, that's what I thought," I said. “Your mother clearly loves you. She wouldn't want you to hide yourself away like that.”

“You seem pretty sure of that," she said. “Especially considering my mother was also the one who sent me here and who will soon send me down a dungeon.”

“Am I wrong?" I asked.

She paused. “No, you're not," she finally said. “My mother cares about me deeply.” She paused for a while, then said: “So, about Maggie Farmer.”

I chuckled. “Alright, alright," I said. “It was awkward. There was a lot of fumbling involved. A lot of frantic kissing, too. We tried to rush it and then had to slow down when nothing was working out quite right. It only started working out when we started touching each other while watching the couple on the bed. And then we just sort of started imitating them. Even so, it was still awkward. But... you're right. You never quite forget your first.”

“And did something become of it?" she asked.

“Well, we did try dating a little bit," I said, “but soon enough I started training to kill the Dark Lord and I had less and less time for her. And when I decided to become an adventurer once I hit the age of majority she decided that she'd prefer a more stable partner, someone she wouldn't have to worry about never coming back because he'd ended up in some chimera's stomach.”

“So she's who you were talking about earlier?" she asked.

“Her and a few others," I said.

“Just a few?" she asked. “Seems hard to believe considering you have three women now.”

I grinned. “Yeah, kind of," I said. “I have no idea what I did to deserve them, though.”

“I'm starting to think of a few reasons," Annabella said enigmatically and took a final pull from her bottle of beer.

**

Afterwards we headed back to our inn and once again sat watch over our princess. During my shift Syr appeared and leaned against me.

It's been a while since you came to talk, I said. I had trained quite a bit to speak to her without opening my mouth, since I didn't want to risk people thinking I was insane. I thought you'd forgotten about us.

She grumbled a little. I've been pretty busy, you know? she said. I'm not sure why, but lately I've been able to listen in on what my body is doing a lot more.

Oh? I asked. Anything useful?

It's fragmented, she said. It's really rather annoying. I get these flashes of her consciousness and then by the time I notice where I am I'm almost back here again. But I did manage to sit in on some pretty interesting things.

Like? I asked.

When I vanished on the trip to your mom there was this group of cultists, she said. She was giving them a lot of power and she sent them on a mission. I think the reason I could see so much was because she weakened herself to do that. But this weird flickering made it really hard to understand what she was saying. I think she said she wanted them to 'create The Mother Of Them All'. It sounded like a title.

The Mother Of Them All? I asked. Sounds like another title for the Black Goat.

Syr shook her head. No, her choice of words is very clear, she said. When she speaks of the Black Goat she always refers to her as 'my everything'.

Yeah, that doesn't sound like the talk of a crazy fanatic or anything, I said.

She snorted. Never stop trying to cheer me up, she said. But you don't sound worried.

We'll destroy whatever she sends at us until we finally find a way to defeat her, I said. And then we'll get you your body back.

Thank you, she said and leaned against me.

We were quiet for a while before she said:

So, you said some very interesting things to this princess.

Did I? I asked, slightly worried. And weren't you supposed to be off spying on your body?

I've been back for quite some time, she said. I just didn't have much to say. So. You said you didn't care about breast size, that Maggie Farmer's breasts weren't something you cared about. She crossed her arms in front of her enormous chest, pushing her breasts up a little more.

I said I could take them or leave them, I said. You weren't there when I spoke to Alisha on the trip, were you?

She shook her head.

I told Alisha that it isn't size that matters, I said. It's shape and whether they fit the woman in question. Your breasts would look weird on someone like Alisha, but on you? They're perfect.

You sweet-talker, she said.

It's the truth, I said. But I didn't really think you were interested in that sort of thing.

She chuckled ruefully. I'm only human after all, she said. Of course I care. But it's not as if it matters. We can't actually touch no matter how much I would want to.

Of course we could, I said.

Yeah, sure, once we get rid of this Holy Maiden, she said. If that ever happens.

It will happen, I said with absolute conviction. But that's not what I meant. I could touch you in Yume's dreamscape, couldn't I?

She froze. You did, didn't you? Would you... I mean... I...

If that's something you want, I would love to, I said and then leaned over to kiss her cheek. Of course she was just an apparition, but she was a very well crafted apparition and I could feel her soft skin on my lips as if she'd actually been there.

I'll get back to you on that, she said with the tiniest hint of embarrassment and then vanished.

**

The following day Annabella and Sir Nathan managed to finalize their agreements and promised to reconvene with the documents signed by their respective lieges. Sir Nathan and his men would end up having to stay in Calice for a little while, though, because one of the stipulations of their defense pact was that they had to show navigators from our kingdom how to reach Albion through the treacherous mists and the queen had to decide on whom to bestow the honor of being the first citizens of her kingdom to be sent to Albion.

But that was thankfully not something we would have to concern ourselves with. Our part in all of this was done. We would escort Annabella back to the royal palace so she could present the documents to her mother and then we could finally begin our preparations to head into the Crystal Crown dungeon.