Vol.3 Ch.3 – Meeting The Parent

Chapter 3: Meeting The Parent

When we went back inside Alisha was mortified to learn that Selene and Yume had known perfectly well what we'd been doing outside since I'd clued them in. I'd considered letting one of them come out to 'discover' us, but that would have made it too obvious that I'd been using the cone of silence if Alisha couldn't hear them talking to us.

After that we had a long quiet talk about the realities of exhibitionism. I knew she loved the idea but her reactions had made it pretty clear that she had realized that it just wasn't workable. In the moment she thought being seen by complete strangers was pretty hot but I'd shown her how mortifying the aftermath could be.

When I had promised to come up with much more embarrassing stuff to do to her while Selene and Yume watched she'd blushed to the tips of her pointy ears.

**

The rest of the trip ended up being fairly uneventful. There had been a group of bandits trying to waylay the caravan, but these days bandits were utterly beneath our notice. Before the caravan guards could take action Yume had cast Stupor on the group to daze them while Alisha had used air magic to steal their breath away and make them fall unconscious. The caravan master had thanked us for handling it without spilling blood, rewarding us with extra portions of the gruel they served the passengers. Yay.

But while the caravan master had been grateful the other passengers gave us a wide berth after seeing what we were capable of. If only they knew how much more we had in store.

**

Either way, we finally reached our goal, the village of Aphrodite's Orchard, located about halfway between the capital and the easternmost city of the kingdom and located about a day's travel away from the razed ruins of my hometown of Athena's Grove.

My parents had been tailors in Athena's Grove and I'd been trying my best to learn from them. One day mom had taken me with her to Aphrodite's Orchard to sell some of our clothes and when we came back home we found our hometown burned to the ground, destroyed by a Dark Lord's army. Our shop was a smoldering ruin when we came back, my dad's charred corpse impaled by a spear. Judging by the dead goblins around him he'd put up quite the fight before some cowardly little shit had stabbed him from behind.

I'd begged Athena to choose me as her champion, to grant me the power to avenge my dad, my friends, my town, but she had ignored me. I prayed to the other Olympians, to the Aesir, to the Tuatha Dé Danann, to anyone who might listen and not a single one of them had cared.

We'd taken refuge in Aphrodite's Orchard, which had had a wall and was therefore far safer for us and there I'd taken to training. I'd done what I could for our business and then trained the rest of the day, every day for almost a year until I felt strong enough to take on the Dark Lord who had taken my home from me. But a Chosen One beat me there. He had been a pompous twat, showered with gifts, the sun shining out of his ass, but even all of that hadn't saved him. He died a pathetic death and it ended up falling to me to kill the Dark Lord in his stead. When I had won I'd seen that most of the Chosen One's gear had been given to him by Athena, the same goddess who had ignored my pleas, so I had arranged all of his gear in a little pile and then pissed all over it. And that's when Athena had shown up to bitch at me for the first time and afterwards I took on the task of killing Dark Lords largely out of spite, to show up all the gods who had refused to help me.

And while I started making a name for myself as a mercenary who helped Chosen Ones who couldn't handle their tasks my mother had found someone new back in Aphrodite's Orchard, a rich merchant named Martin. Except that Martin had already had two wives, Amelia and Michelle, and the three of them had wanted my mom to join them.

Back then I'd been weirded out by it but now I felt like the biggest damn hypocrite in the entire kingdom for it. After all, here I was, visiting my mom with my three girlfriends in tow.

Speaking of, Alisha, Selene and Yume all seemed impressed with the village. Its most distinctive feature was of course the one that gave the place its name, the orchard full of apple trees, about half of them bearing golden fruits. These golden apples were an amazingly valuable trade good. Eating them regularly could increase someone's lifespan and unlike most longevity medicine they were absolutely delicious. I had, of course, neglected to tell Alisha about the apples simply because I'd wanted to see her reaction. Well, and because I hadn't wanted her to keep asking: “Are we there yet?” And sure enough, when she saw the trees she immediately began looking around for a stall that sold the apples.

But even for someone not obsessed with fruit the village was pretty. The walls as well as most of the buildings were made from a pale, almost white, cream colored stone that practically glowed in the sun and every building had either cloth overhangs or vines growing over them, adding splashes of color to all the white.

**

The place also had a temple dedicated to Aphrodite, which of course meant it was a fertility temple. The place had several beds enchanted so the couples laying in them were more likely to have children and couples came from far and wide to use its services if they had trouble conceiving. Many people were disappointed with how mundane a purpose that was, given that a name like 'temple of fertility' made them think something along the lines of daily sacred orgies, but trust me, the reality was awkward enough, because aside from the daily prayers there wasn't a time of day where there weren't moans and gasps coming out of the building. These days I barely noticed it given that I had three women, every single one of which sounded more enthusiastic in the bedroom than whatever sounds were coming out of the temple, but back when I'd been a hormonal teenager walking past this place had been awful.

“Your gods are weird”, Alisha muttered when she heard the sounds coming out of the temple.

“Don't tell me your gods are prudes or something”, I teased back.

The Tuatha Dé Danann were certainly no prudes. They didn't get up to quite the same escapades as the Olympians, but that didn't make them any less horny. Pretty much all the tales told about them either began or ended with someone sleeping with someone they weren't supposed to.

“You know what I mean”, she said. “And what's with all the clams?”

I grinned and waggled my eyebrows at her and she punched me in the arm.

“Actually they're a symbol of Aphrodite”, I explained. “She has, like, the most bizarre origin of any goddess ever.”

Namely, when Zeus' grandfather was castrated by Zeus' father, his wedding tackle fell into the ocean and, well, the leftover spunk of the god of the sky got the ocean pregnant and it birthed Aphrodite. I wondered what the gods of the ocean might have thought of that, given that all the ones I knew were male.

I was about to explain all of that when I heard someone call out:

“Felix, is that you?”

Oh no.

I knew that voice. It was Michelle, one of my mom's sister wives. And the absolute last thing I'd wanted had been to meet either of them before I could see my mother and fill her in. But running away would be bad form. After all, I had three women of my own now and really couldn't judge Martin or his wives for their relationship. But really, my issue was more that both Michelle and Amelia were absolutely shameless. And that also meant they were both shameless gossips. I could expect to be asked lots of mortifying questions and for all the answers I gave to have made their way across the village before I reached their home. But aside from that, I had to admit, they were nice women.

So I turned around, my legs only a little stiff, and plastered a not entirely insincere smile on my face as I said:

“Michelle, it's great to see you again.”

Michelle was a striking woman with long blond hair and a killer figure and compared to when I'd met her five years ago she hadn't really aged at all and still looked to be in her early thirties. That was the other weird thing. Both of my mom's sister wives were a decade younger than her and even her new husband was five years younger than her.

Michelle wore a white toga with a wine-red sash and leather sandals, the standard attire for many of the villages to the East of the capital. Or maybe it had nothing to do with geography and more to do with worship of the Olympians, which was more common in the East as well.

When she saw that I was indeed who she thought I was she ran up and hugged me, pressing her generous curves against me, before letting go and saying:

“Wow, you're looking good. So confident. And I haven't seen you so happy before. And wow, who are these lovely ladies?” As she asked the last she let go of me and began hugging each of my women in turn.

“Michelle”, I said, a little awkwardly, “meet Alisha, Selene and Yume, my... lovers.”

She squealed. No shit, she squealed like a little girl even though she was in her thirties.

“Felix, who is she?”, Selene whispered into my ear, very quietly. She sounded a little jealous.

“Right”, I said, rubbing the back of my head. “Alisha, Selene, Yume, meet Michelle, one of my mother's sister wives.”

I felt Selene relax at that.

Michelle noticed and the teasing commenced. She got real close to both me and Selene, invading our personal space, and asked: “What's wrong? Scared I'll steal your man away from you?”

“I... uh...”, Selene countered expertly.

“Hmm”, Michelle said, considering. “I already know how fun his mom is but him and I haven't had the pleasure yet...”

Selene and Alisha started blushing and Yume's tails stood on end. I, meanwhile, was unaffected. I'd built up a tolerance to these antics. Though, I had to admit, back when I'd been single she'd managed to throw me for quite a loop with suggestive comments like that. But after almost two months of teasing Alisha to try and find all of her triggers I could trade suggestive comments with the best of them.

“Well then Michelle”, I said, leaning close to her myself, “how about you find us a room and you can find out for yourself just how fun we are?” After five years of her making me blush with her comments seeing her cheeks redden ever-so-slightly was beyond gratifying.

“You've become a very dangerous young man”, she said quietly and turned away, embarrassed. “S-so, I guess you're here for your mom's birthday party tomorrow?”

“That's right”, I said, then indicated her little fruit stand. “You're still busy with your stall I guess?”

“Yeah, that's right.”

“I guess we'll just go to your house on our own then”, I said and she shook her head.

“How about you spend a little more time in the market?”, she asked, suddenly a little more in her element again.

“We don't really...”, I trailed off, then looked at her: “What's going on?”

She grinned. “Well, your mom is helping Martin... sort his files.”

I groaned. “Yeah, you win. We'll spend some time in the market.”

“What's so bad about sorting files?”, Alisha asked.

“You know”, Michelle said, waggling her eyebrows, “sorting files.”

Alisha blushed when she realized what Michelle was talking about.

I really, really didn't need to see that. Or hear that. Or even think about that.

“So we have to kill some time?”, Alisha asked, suddenly chipper.

“Yes”, I said.

“Then about those apples...”

**

About half an hour later we finally left the market, our purses each a little lighter. Alisha had bought three baskets full of apples, two normal and one the golden variety. The golden apples had cost as much as five normal baskets and when she'd taken her first bite she'd insisted on sharing it. Alisha was obsessed with fruit, but she wasn't so greedy as to keep it to herself. But even so the eagerness with which she shared it made me suspicious. Was she worried that Selene and I would die of old age long before her?

The average life expectancy for humans was about eighty while the average elf lived for about two hundred and fifty years. Of course, Yume was already over fifty and would still be around after even Alisha died of old age because kitsune could live for four hundred and fifty years and after that they didn't die but became immortal.

I honestly found the whole idea a little morbid. Worrying about dying of old age felt silly to me. I was only twenty-five and aside from Yume I was the oldest of our little group. But then again, I wasn't the one who had to look forward to outliving my lovers. Maybe I should start looking for something that granted longevity. I had no interest in living forever but if I could bring Selene and my life expectancy a bit closer to Alisha's I wouldn't say no.

As we approached Martin's home I had my fingers crossed behind my back and was silently praying to no god in particular:

Please let them be finished. Please let them be finished. Please let them be finished.

There was no loud moaning coming out of the house and when I knocked on the door there was no yelping and loud rustling of clothes, so I was reasonably sure we were in the clear.

Instead, after a couple of seconds my mom opened the door, and she was positively glowing, her cheeks flush and her hair still a little messy.

Aside from her... state... she looked good. Healthy, happy. She was a tall woman of forty-five, well, forty-six tomorrow, with long dark brown hair, which I'd inherited from her, and bright green eyes, which I had not. Her face showed a lot of laugh lines these days and no frown lines yet.

“Hi, mom”, I said, not really sure what else to add.

Her eyes widened and then flicked over to my women before returning to me. Then she wrapped me up in a crushing hug.

“Felix!”, she said against my shoulder. “I didn't expect you so soon.”

“I'll bet”, I heard Alisha mutter so quietly I doubted my mom could hear.

“Well”, I said as I hugged her back, “I had some news to share so I thought I'd drop in early.”

She let go of me and then waited expectantly, the way only a mother could, for me to introduce my women to her.

“Alright, well, mom, meet Alisha, Selene and Yume, my... lovers. Ladies of my heart, meet my mother Lily Tail--- Merchant.” So I still stumbled over her new surname from time to time, bite me.

Yume was the first to react. She held her hands clasped in front of her and bowed from the hip, saying: “It is an honor to meet you, Miss Merchant.”

Mom waved her off. “None of that. Anyone close to Felix can call me Lily.”

Yume hesitated for a moment, then said: “In that case it is an honor to meet you, Lily. My name is Yume... just Yume, these days.”

Mom reached out and patted Yume's head while she was bowing and said: “Well aren't you just the cutest little thing.” I neglected to mention to her that Yume was older than her, possibly almost twice as old.

Alisha curtsied with the sort of practice that made me think her parents were even more important than she had let on. “It's great to meet you, Lily. My name is Alisha Silvermoon”, she said in her lilting voice.

“It's great to meet you too, Alisha”, mom said with a smile, then reached out and stroked one of Alisha's long ears. “You're a Wood Elf, aren't you?”

Alisha nodded.

Finally Selene, the quietest of my women came forward and bowed politely. “I am glad to finally meet Felix' mother. I am Selene Herder”, the blond paladin said.

After having been chosen by a deity and subsequently fulfilling the quest she was chosen for she was allowed to call herself 'Hero' instead of the last name she was born with but, as I said, she had issues with her patron goddess and I didn't blame her. Though the fact that she even introduced herself as 'Herder' in front of my mother was telling. It wasn't exactly a glamorous profession.

Mom looked between the three gorgeous women and asked: “And you're all with my son?”

They nodded at her and she turned and looked at me quizzically.

“So, why am I only hearing of this now?”, she asked. “Couldn't you have told me when you wrote to me three months ago?”

“I was still single when I wrote you three months ago”, I told her.

She turned back to my women and asked: “He didn't bribe you to pretend to be his girlfriends just so I stop nagging him about finding someone, did he?”

“Hey”, I said indignantly but I needn't have bothered.

They all shook their heads, Alisha so violently that her long ears made slapping sounds as they hit the sides of her head.

“I love him”, she said full of a surety that made my heart melt and Selene added:

“Me too.”

Yume blushed a little at their honesty and then said: “Well, I... we haven't been together for that long but...”, she trailed off, but then steeled herself and instead of meeting my mom's gaze, she sought out my eyes instead. “I love you, Felix.”

I smiled at her and said: “I love you too, my little fox.” Then I turned to Alisha and Selene and said: “All of you.”

When she heard that mom surged forward and swept all three of them up in a hug, even more crushing than the one she'd given me and placed loud kisses on the tops of their heads.

“What's all the commotion about?”, I heard a man ask a moment before Martin stepped into view behind mom and found his third wife hugging three pretty young women while his step-son stood off to the side.

Martin and I had never really had much to talk about and I admit that a large part of that had been because I felt so awkward around the man who had taken my mom as his third wife, something I was beginning to feel really rather bad for. On top of that little big elephant in the room, I was a mercenary while he was a merchant. He kept himself fit and handsome but we both knew I was a far stronger man, even five years ago when I'd first met him. It always felt as though he was trying to avoid me, as if he was worried he'd provoke me and I'd attack him, which I admit might have had something to do with the way I'd glowered at him when we'd first met. But come on, I had been twenty and he had just married my mom. If he'd expected me to call him 'father' I would have punched him.

Except he hadn't.

These days I felt like an enormous hypocrite for my behavior back then and had already decided on the way to make amends.

“Hello, Martin”, I said, trying for the most pleasant, respectful tone of voice I could dredge up.

By Martin's double-take it must have worked. “Felix”, he said. “I didn't expect you here so soon.”

I nodded at him. “I guess mom is going to be busy with my girlfriends for the time being”, I said. “Should we go ahead and grab a drink?” I had never ever offered to have a drink with him, even though I had always ended up drinking when I'd come here before.

“Your...”, he started and looked again at the pretty women. Then he seemed to get it and said: “Of course.”

**

Mom had busied herself by interrogating my girls and Yume had established a mental link with me just to have Syr tell me that everything was fine. Syr hadn't been happy about being used as a communication focus and I promised to make it up to her by going to smell mom's flower garden when I was done with Martin.

The women had been so busy that Martin and I had had time to drink a couple beers together, talking about the one thing we definitely saw eye to eye on: The selling of monster parts. So when we were more than somewhat tipsy I began:

“I guess I owe you a huge apology, Martin.”

He leaned his head to the side. “Why do you figure?”, he asked.

“I've been a shit to you for as long as I've known you”, I said. “I always thought you were some sort of creep for wanting three women in your life, but now I feel like a fucking hypocrite for it.”

He chuckled. “That's fine”, he said. “I sometimes feel like a creep for wanting three women in my life, but it just works, you know?”

I nodded. “Now I know exactly what you mean”, I said. “But even so I've been a shit to you.”

He shrugged. “To be honest I've never really been sure of how to act around you”, he said. “I fell for your mom... well, we fell for your mom, to be more precise, and then after we got together suddenly you showed up. Of course I knew Lily had a son, but knowing about you and meeting you were two different things. And I... I was worried you thought I was trying to replace your dad or something.”

I shook my head. “Honestly?”, I asked. “I did think that at first. But then I met you and you totally weren't like that. So I had this disconnect about you. I had this idea of you as someone I was supposed to hate but then there was the actual you, who was a fine guy, well, fine except for sleeping with my mom.” He snorted. “And I couldn't really handle it. Honestly I'm grateful you've never even tried to be a replacement for my dad. And... I'm even more grateful you're making my mom so happy.”

He smiled, which made him look younger. “That means a lot to me”, he said seriously, then grinned as he recalled how, ahem, happy he'd made mom before we came here.

“Don't think I can't still punch you, Martin”, I said in good humor.