Vol.5 Ch.9.1 – Ares I

Chapter 9: Ares

“So,” I asked Hermes once we had all calmed down, “any particular reason you didn't feel like mentioning to us that you were being hounded by goat-harpies for months?”

“I hadn't seen hide nor hair of them for the last couple of days so I thought they'd given up,” the messenger of the gods said. “And we beat them so that's one less thing to worry about.”

I wanted to glare at him but he was right. We had killed those things. In fact, I was starting to wonder if maybe these things had been how the Holy Maiden had kept track of Hermes all this time and if they were gone then maybe the chance of any of us getting discovered had just plummeted.

“Whatever,” I said. “I think we should keep going. We've been wasting too much time already to start discussing might-have-beens.”

Hermes gave a curt nod. “Agreed.”

**

And so we made our way across the clouds. Again.

This time, however, I tried something. There was a certain way of walking through forest terrain, of bending your knees and keeping them loose as you moved forward. It managed the unpredictable terrain of a forest floor well and allowed one to move with surprising speed through really ungainly terrain, but it came at the cost of being much more exhausting. The somewhat alien motions were quite rough on the muscles but that was the trade-off for being able to move through uneven terrain without risk of injury.

But these clouds were the opposite of a forest floor. There were no sudden dips and no roots sticking out of the ground that you could sprain or break your legs on. The terrain was simply soft, so soft that it was exhausting to traverse. And that gave me an idea.

In forest terrain you needed to exhaust yourself to avoid harm. This terrain, on the other hand, was already harmless. So it only made sense to move in a way that did not seek to avoid harm but that in exchange avoided exhaustion.

All of this is a very long-winded way of saying that I started skipping across the clouds like a bunny.

The clouds weren't just soft, they were also bouncy. And so the logic was that the easiest way to traverse them would be to spend as little time as possible trudging through them. There was no risk of a foot getting caught and even falling flat on your face didn't pose any threat. There was only a plain of bouncy clouds. And it worked.

I started taking great, leaping steps and I fully admit must have looked ridiculous. I must have looked so ridiculous, in fact, that Hermes started cackling when he noticed it. Soon enough, however, the laughter died in his throat when he realized I was moving significantly faster than he was.

One by one the rest of our group started copying my technique and soon enough we had eight people hopping and skipping across the cloud and one extremely bemused messenger of the gods flapping his sandal wings behind us.

And so this time when we reached the next island of stone we weren't gasping for breath. Instead we were chuckling and giggling.

“That was so fun!” Alisha gushed. “Why didn't we do this sooner?”

“I have never seen anyone moving across the clouds in such a ridiculous way,” Hermes said.

“I really don't care how stupid it looked,” Melinoe said. “I'm not breathing like a bellows and that's what matters.”

“Alright people,” I said, bringing us back on track, “let's do this.”

“Let me go in front,” Yume said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said very clearly and I nodded for her to continue.

Yume ascended the stone stairs with one hand holding the sheath of her blade and the other hovering near the handle. I had seen that stance before, had even tried using it myself, but I was too used to my sheath being strapped to my back rather than to my side and it didn't really work the same way from that position.

Yume's stance was meant to draw the blade and then cut in one fluid motion, often delivering devastating Qi techniques in an instant. And I understood her reasoning. If we found Ares and if he showed even the slightest indication of being the traitor we were after she wanted to have the first go at him. I was just worried that she would attempt to cut him down even if he wasn't the traitor. I had a lot of plans for Ares but for now we needed the bastard and we needed him with all his bits still attached.

And so we ascended to his tholos, straining our ears for any signs of foes, but there was nothing except for the faintest sound that I couldn't quite make out.

When we reached the top of the plateau we found the tholos deserted, almost.

Ares' tholos was a shrine to his arrogance. The floor was laid out with a red and gold rug and large red and gold curtains hung down from the ceiling, giving the place a private and cozy feel. An enormous mirror was placed between two of the pillars, positioned perfectly so that the vain bastard could watch himself having sex on his enormous bed.

The bed was wide enough for me and all my girls to find space on with room to spare and the thing took up almost a third of the space of the tholos. Another third was taken up by equipment stands, his own private armory. The last third, amusingly utilitarian for such a pompous space, held an icebox, a small kitchenette and a large table. The only thing marring the place was the... thing sticking to one of the pillars.

It looked like nothing so much as a glistening, black ball of snot that someone had spat up, though judging by the size it must have been spat up by a giant. It was almost certainly Outsider matter, looking like the flesh of Dark Young or the blood of Outsider creatures, but it also looked inert. Well, mostly inert because the faint sound I had heard seemed to come from the thing, a slight churning sound, sounding almost like a full stomach working on a meal, as if whatever was inside was being digested.

Is this the same kind of black goo you saw the Holy Maiden sitting on?, I asked into my mind.

That's it exactly, Syr replied.

So did they turn Ares into a ball of goo?

You said that gods cannot really die, right?, she asked.

If their bodies sustain too much damage they disappear and then show up again on Olympus, yes, I confirmed. Though I don't know the specifics. I mean, we ARE in Olympus. For all I know if he dies in that ball of goo he'll just show up again within that ball of goo.

That sounds horrifying, she said.

I don't feel particularly bad about it happening to him, I said. If I ever get my way with him he'll wish he was back in there.

I can't say I blame you for that, Syr said.

But while I was talking with Syr Yume had focused in on something else. She had scanned every angle of the room and once she'd deemed that nothing would jump out at her she beelined to the large table, on which sat an innocuous little ring with a blue jewel on its top.

She hesitated for only a moment before her hand wrapped around the ring. I half expected something bad to happen, like the ball of goo suddenly jumping into action or some magical countermeasure to spring into place, but nothing happened. She picked the ring up and immediately slipped it onto her finger.

“Is that your spatial ring?” I asked.

“It is,” she confirmed. “I thought I'd never see it again.” And then her light blue aura flared up, localized around the hand with the ring on it. A blue sphere appeared above the jewel and Yume reached into it with her other hand, then pulled out an ornate Southern blade. “Ahhh...” she cooed. “Hoshizora...”

She held the sword in both hands, one on the sheath and one on the handle, and pulled out a pristine blade, far darker than the one of her other sword, so dark it almost swallowed the light. She swung it through a few experimental arcs and the blade left afterimages in its wake, not unlike Athena's spear. If they were similarly dangerous then I could believe that this was a weapon forged by a divine blacksmith.

“I never did figure out the trick with that ring...” a voice croaked from our left and we all jumped away from it. The voice had come out of the ball of goo.

“Ares...” Yume growled, her tails standing on end and her ears flat to her head.

“I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away, little vixen,” the voice came again and now I could see it. A tiny slit in the ball of goo opened as he spoke, a mouth inside this blob. Two little bubbles in the goo that I hadn't even paid attention to before were translucent, allowing two manic green eyes to peer out. “I knew you wanted me the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“The only thing I want from you is to rip out your heart,” Yume said, her voice cold as ice and her words sharper even than her blade. “The same way I killed the Chosen One you gave me to.”

“Is that how he died?” Ares asked. “All I know is that he betrayed me to the Black Goat so I suppose I'm grateful to you for taking out the trash.”

“Take your gratitude and choke on it.”

He didn't even acknowledge the comment. Instead he said: “So, why are you here? Olympus is being invaded and you came over to pick up your little ring?”

“We were hired to help take Olympus back,” she said. “And on the way there I'm taking back what's mine.”

“We?” Ares asked and I saw the small black orbs twisting back and forth before they fixed on us. “Felix fucking Tailor and Tina. What a lark.”

“Trust me, buddy, I'm just as happy to see you as Yume is.”

He didn't even react to my words, instead he asked Yume: “Really? You could have had me and instead you run off to a scrawny little limp-dick like him?”

“Felix is more man than you will ever be,” Yume said. “Unlike the harlots you fucked in front of me, we don't have to pretend to enjoy it.”

For the first time Ares was beginning to sound angry. Apparently she'd struck a nerve. “We'll see about that.”

“Right now we're not seeing shit,” I said. “You're stuck in a ball of goo. Speaking of which, are you going to ask us to cut you down at any point?”

“Why would I do that when all I need to do is wait?”

“Wait for what?” I asked.

“You want to save Olympus,” he said in a sarcastic tone of voice. “You're here because you need my help to do it. So why would I beg for you to free me like a pathetic little bitch when I can just wait?”

“I've heard all the stories but I didn't expect him to be that bad,” I heard Selene mutter from behind me.

“I'm beginning to think freeing him is more trouble than it's worth,” Anna said. “Especially if he's going to be like this the whole time.”

“Now don't go underestimating me, little miss Third Princess,” Ares said, making Anna blink. “Don't know what rode a little dyke like you to tag along with Tailor but trust me, you aren't going to beat the Holy Maiden's entourage alone.” Anna seethed in silence at being called a 'little dyke' but didn't say anything else.

“You've seen her inner circle?” I asked.

“Naturally,” he said. “How else do you think they brought me down and stuffed me in here?”

“So who are they?” I ground out.

“You know what? You brought me the little bitch back so I guess I can tell you.”

I was this close to ramming my sword into my best approximation of where his gut was but I held myself back. His intel was too valuable, not to mention that killing him would just free him.

“Obviously there's the Holy Maiden herself,” he began. “Quite a babe, except for the ram's horns on her head. Wears this white dress that's halfway between a priest's robe and a wedding dress. Then there's that little princeling she has following her around. Nasty little son of a bitch, flits around too fast to catch and summons crystal swords. There's another kid, creepy little shit with a raspy voice. Haven't seen him fight much but the goblins sure listen to him. And then there's the motherfucker who sold us out. A true god of this world who is working as the Holy Maiden's little bitch.”

“Who is it?” Athena asked. “Tell us.”

“Fucked if I know,” Ares said. “Fucker wears a brown cloak and smells like shit. But miracles cast by mortals simply don't pack the same punch as what this guy's throwing.”

“So at least we know it's a guy,” I said. Shame. With Ares so hellbent on the Holy Maiden's destruction I had hoped the traitor would turn out to be Demeter. I had a few outstanding debts with that bitch as well. But instead of giving voice to any of that I asked: “So, now that we know what we're up against, what reason do we have to free you?”

“Oh that's easy, Tailor,” he said. “It's because you're a limp-dick. Because you have no balls.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but he just continued in a mocking tone:

“You always look at situations from every angle, trying to find any advantage you can eke out.” He paused and his voice grew flat. “That's all just a nice way of saying that you're a coward, that you're a pathetic little rat. You hate me and everything I stand for but you also know that your chances of success are higher if you take me along. And so you will. Knowing that you hate me. You will free me because it's the smart thing to do. And once we've beaten the Holy Maiden I will fuck your women in front of you while reminding you that it was your own lack of balls that made you decide to free me.”

I wanted to leave him there. I wanted to inflict every pain, every suffering, every humiliation onto him. But in the end he wasn't wrong. I would free him because it was the smart thing to do. Obviously none of my women would touch that scumbag no matter what happened but everything else he'd said was true. If it raised the chance of us surviving this even slightly I would free him. It was the kind of person I was. Did that make me a rat? Possibly. But I didn't really care so long as it kept my girls and me safe.

But that didn't mean I would have to be nice about it.

“The easiest way to cut him loose is to simply kill him,” I said. My tone implied that I was thinking out loud but by the way Yume's ears were twitching I could tell that she was paying keen attention to my words. “But that doesn't mean it needs to be a painless death.”

Yume took the words exactly as I had meant them. She took her blade and rammed it into the black blob's center mass, then sliced downwards. Apparently whatever digestion process had been going on inside the blob hadn't gone that far yet because a moment later Ares' intestines splattered down to the ground, pooling at the foot of the pillar. He howled and groaned in agony and Yume seemed to delight in it. She reached into the hole she had carved and quested around inside it until she had found what she was looking for. She grabbed hold of his heart, the heartbeat so loud I could hear it, and ripped it out of his chest.

Her eyes rolled up inside her head as rapture overtook her. Ares wouldn't perish from this, not truly, though clearly that didn't make gutting the man who had wronged her and ripping his heart out any less satisfying.

A moment later the black blob deflated and the splattered intestines vanished and a moment later a very alive, very naked Ares snapped into existence on his bed. Gods above, with looks like that I'd probably be an arrogant bastard as well.

Ares was muscled like, well, like a god, his chest and shoulders broad and not a pound of excess fat on him. He had long, flowing hair such a vibrant orange it looked like a crown of flames on him. His beard was long and full, combining with his hair to make him look as if he had a mane like a lion. His green eyes were piercing and there was a massive scar over one eye. And I was gratified to see that I had more than a couple inches on him downstairs.

Curiously, despite the rest of his corpse vanishing, his heart still remained in Yume's hand. I wondered if it would disappear the moment she let go of it or if one could in fact keep trophies of gods by holding on to them.

“See?” Ares said. “I knew you would cave eventually, just like the little bitch you are.”

“Go fuck yourself, Ares.”