Champion, Chapter 12: Piercing Truths

AidanThe RealmsSecondday, 1st week of the 9th month, Age of the Chosen 1NoonCaer Macht, Mistvale Highlands

Unfortunately, relaxing cuddle time was not to be. Ailis was waiting for Aidan inside Caer Macht. "How did it go?" she asked. She fell into step beside him.

"I had to banish the leader, Ecgwena. I'm sure that will come back to bite me at some point. Her second-in-command was a professional, though. Once I got rid of the bad egg, everything else happened more or less like we drew it up."

Ailis nodded. "Good. Did you have anything important planned for the rest of the day?"

Aidan gave her a flat stare. "I was going to go decompress with Brighid, but I suspect that you're about to hijack that."

"You have been neglecting your lessons, apprentice. I let it pass without comment so far because we have all been busy, but we have time now."

Aidan groaned. The last thing he wanted right now was to be alone with Ailis for an extended time. The woman had a way of getting under his skin, setting him off or draining him emotionally. Still, she was right. And if he was going to have to spend time with her, he might as well rip the bandaid off. "Fine. I have something I need to talk to you about, anyway. Let's head to the library; maybe we can find something of value while we talk."

A few minutes later, they entered the sprawling library that branched off from the central altar chamber. It likely contained ten thousand tomes at its height, but time had ravaged it as much as the rest of the city.

Aidan cast his Sound Barrier spell. Ailis looked at him, one delicate eyebrow raised. "A precaution, protection for both of us. I don't want anyone else to overhear what we're about to talk about." He closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath, then let it out and locked gazes with the ex-Councillor. "First, I apologize for yesterday. It was beyond inappropriate for me to touch you the way I did without your explicit consent."

Ailis's other eyebrow joined the first, arching high above her eyes. "So that was you. I thought so, given your banter, but there was no manna involved. An Ability, then. From your Profession? Nevermind; irrelevant. No apologies are needed, Lord Aidan. I am your Vassal; whatever I may do for you is my duty and honor, even if that involves teasing me then leaving me to my own devices."

Aidan shook his head. "No, that's just it. I told you after you swore your oath to me that there couldn't be anything between us. It's a matter of morals. I hold extreme power over you; if I ordered you to strip, kneel down, and lift your tail for me, you would have to obey regardless of your desires. As I understand it, you would be compelled to follow even suicidal commands."

"I see. Somehow, I doubt that that is the entirety of your problem, however. Tell me this: if Brighid swore the Vassal's Oath to you, would you force her to leave your bed?"

Aidan wobbled, stunned. "I—no, but—that's different!" he spluttered.

Ailis snorted. "I cannot abide intellectual dishonesty. Lie to me if you want, but do not lie to yourself, Aidan. There are differences, yes, but they do not resolve your root issue. You are already intimate with her, you are Companions, Brighid actually wants you to order her around. None of those change the issue you raised to me, which is that she would have no choice but to obey you.

"I understand where you are coming from with this, Aidan. I remember your reaction to my daughter tricking you into using Divine Speech in my presence. You abhor the thought of forcing yourself on others. It shows your noble and gentle heart yet again." She stepped up to him and touched his cheek. "Is it so strange that a woman would be attracted to such a man? Is it so odd that she would welcome his attention? You are not ordering me to do this, Aidan." Ailis's ice-blue eyes transfixed Aidan as she leaned toward him, lips parted.

"Stop." Ailis froze in place. Aidan took several deep breaths, then stepped backward, placing himself out of Ailis's reach again. A look of pain flashed across her face for a split second before she resumed her dispassionate mask. "You're right," Aidan admitted. "The oath isn't the only problem I have with a relationship between us. It is a big part of it, but the other issue is that I have a hard time trusting you, even now. I find myself wondering whether your actions are genuine or yet another attempt to manipulate me. It has not passed my notice that one way to lessen the impact of the oath you took is to seduce me. I'm self-aware enough to realize that I would tend to be much more permissive and forgiving towards you if we entered into a romantic relationship."

Tears sprung from the corners of Ailis's eyes. She raised a hand to rub them away, but they continued to trickle down her cheeks. She opened her mouth, closed it again, then squeezed her eyes shut and spoke, trembling. "Order me to be truthful with you. Order me to answer you with complete honesty and without attempting to hide any information. If it bridges this gap between us, then you have my consent." Her eyes opened again, and there was such a heart-rending pain in them that Aidan wished there was a save/load feature in his interface so that he could re-start the day and choose another conversational path. Alas, he would have to live with his mistakes.

"Until you leave the library or I rescind this command, whichever comes first," Aidan spoke, choosing his words with care, "any time you answer a question from me, your response must be honest and complete. You may refuse to respond, but if you do answer, you are forbidden to lie to me, intentionally mislead me, or hide relevant information from me. To be clear, you are not compelled to answer, and you may end this command at any time by leaving the library—even if you turn around and enter again. Do you understand?"

"I refuse to answer." A flicker of surprise passed through ice-blue eyes, chased by gratitude. "Yes, my Lord Aidan, I understand. I will answer your questions to the fullest extent of my ability." She swallowed, then half-whispered, "I will not forget that you left me a choice instead of stripping my mind bare, even though you would be justified in doing so."

"Do you have any hostile intention towards me, including but not limited to manipulating me or those close to me, harming me or those close to me, interfering with my duties, or undermining my authority?"

"None that I would term hostile, my Lord. I am manipulative by nature, but I have devoted myself to strengthening you and your cause. I am afraid that, short of a direct command from you, I will always be manipulating you and others in small ways; however, while my goals when we first met were to push the Starchaser tribe along the trail I felt best, that has changed. My primary goal is to assist and guide you along your path and ensure you achieve your goals. My secondary objectives are protecting my daughter and securing her happiness, and advocating for and helping the Starchaser tribe. My tertiary objective is pursuing my own advancement and satisfaction." Ailis answered without hesitation, and her voice remained steady throughout her recitation.

"What do you mean by pursuing your own advancement?"

The slender centaur shrugged. "My Lord, I am ambitious and politically-minded. I will always desire and pursue power, direct and indirect. I will not seek to rise above you, but the further you advance, the higher I will be when I sit at your feet." She hesitated a split second before continuing, "I will admit that my relationship with you is grounded, in part, in that pursuit. You are powerful, my Lord. You have an unheard-of talent for magic, you sit upon a Throne with a Crown granted by your first Class, and you have the backing of a Power. All of that is attractive to me. Part of me wants to be close to you in hopes that you will share some of that with me." She cocked her head to the side, then nodded. "I believe that is a complete answer to the question you asked."

"I see." Aidan was silent for several moments, debating whether to ask the obvious next question and how to phrase it. "What else is your relationship with me founded on?"

Ailis clucked her tongue and shook her head. "That is too broad a question, my Lord. I do not believe I can give you a complete answer. May I have your permission to limit my response to only the most prominent and relevant points?"

"Yes, so long as you do not use your omissions to deceive or mislead me."

"Hope," Ailis began, "is the largest part. You represent a light against the darkness. You are only a candle against the night for now," she stated, unknowingly echoing Aidan's Patron, "but if I can buy you the time and resources, you have the potential to banish the darkness.

“Family is there too; you are my daughter's Companion, and she is happier with you than she has ever been in her life. Despite all appearances to the contrary, I do love Brighid. Everything I did to you was for her, in its own twisted way. Duty, now; I am sworn to you, and I take my oath as seriously as Cai or Llwyd. I am growing to respect you more and more. Even after telling me that you cannot bring yourself to trust me, and after I offered to let you plunder my mind for every secret, you still restrained yourself and acted with temperance and compassion."

A blush crept into her cheeks, but Ailis continued without faltering, "Lust is an ever-increasing factor. It was not referring only to the harpies when I said that powerful women are attracted to men who play hard to get. You have been teasing me, intentionally and not, for a month now. And," her blush was pronounced now, suffusing her cheeks and spreading down across her neck and upper chest, "love is a small but growing aspect. Romantic love is not something I am used to, Aidan."

Ailis's voice dropped in volume. Her eyes darted to his, then dropped. "I did not even love Brighid's father. Lusted after him, yes, but there was no romance in it. I find that I do not know how to act around you, which bothers me more than I would ever admit without this compulsion. I have been bluffing my way through our more intimate interactions, calling and doubling down in the desperate hope that the cards I cannot see will come down in my favor—despite having no idea what that would even look like."

Ailis was as vulnerable as Aidan had ever seen her. Her hands were clenched before her, she trembled from head to hooves, and her eyes were in constant motion, flicking up to examine his face, then sliding off to the side or down to the ground. At the same time, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him that he had given Ailis permission to curate her response to that question. She could have left out the mention of love, but chose to offer it anyway. He had no doubt that it was true, but the fact that she provided the information meant something. She could still be trying to subtly guide his reactions, or she could be revealing her vulnerability in the hopes of earning his trust. Or, he reminded himself, it could be both or neither.

Aidan sighed and leaned back against a nearby pillar. "Hypothetically, if you had not sworn your oath to me, would you have responded the same way to my attention yesterday?"

"It is difficult to be certain," Ailis replied after a moment to think. "I doubt my responses would have been identical; the oath has changed who I am and how I act in some fundamental ways. That being said, the spirit of my responses would have been the same, I think. You surprised me, but your touches were... not unwelcome." Her cheeks were bright red now, and she refused to look him in the eyes.

"Alright," Aidan sighed again. His life grew more complicated and tiring by the day, it seemed. "I release you from the truthfulness command. I have another order for you, however, that I hope will be less burdensome." Her eyes rose to his, wariness shining through. "Ailis Silverhair, from this day forward, I command you to treat any order from me with a sexual, romantic, or otherwise intimate component as a request that you may choose to grant or refuse with no penalty. You are to ignore any orders from me that would punish you for refusing. This command supersedes all others and may not be countermanded in the future."

Ailis's eyes opened wide, and her hand flew to her mouth to stifle her gasp. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, but her voice, though throaty with emotion, sang with happiness as she responded, "Yes, my Lord! Thank—" her voice broke, prompting her to swallow and try again. "Thank you, Aidan."

"Don't thank me yet. I entered into a potential long-term romantic relationship with Sunnild this morning; I will not discard her for you, so you will need to spend time with her and grow comfortable with her part in my life. I'm still wary of the authority differential between us, and I don't even know if that last order will work as I phrased it. And, despite this talk, it will be difficult for me to trust you on the same instinctive, immediate level I trust Brighid. If this is to go anywhere, it will take a lot of work, and we're both busy enough as it is. A part of me is worried that this is a terrible mistake, but I choose to believe in you. You've made grave errors in the past, but Brighid loves you and misses you, and I can see glimpses of the potential inside you. If you can live up to what I see in you, I would be proud to love you and have your love in return. Now," Aidan's lips quirked up in a smile, "with all that said, I will not stop you a second time."

Ailis blinked at him for a moment, confused, before realization dawned. She blushed again but returned his smile. In two quick steps, she was in front of Aidan. She caressed his cheek with one hand, then leaned forward, her lips seeking his. Despite the salt from her tears, it was as sweet a kiss as Aidan could remember tasting. After a few long seconds, Ailis pulled back, then rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you, Aidan. I know I have work to do to earn your trust and repair the damage I have caused. I will do my best for you. Please, bear with me if I make mistakes. Please help me to become better so that I can stop hurting the people I care for."

Aidan wrapped his arms around Ailis's waist and pulled her against him. "As long as you are giving it your best effort, I will help you. That is true even if things do not work out between us. Despite everything, I care for you as well. I would not have so many issues and objections if I didn't. We'll work on it together."

"Thank you," she said a third time. She kissed Aidan's neck, then, to his surprise, bit him and giggled, "but do not think that all this will let you avoid your lessons, apprentice!"