Chapter 11: Stormgarde

"Well.  That was shit."

This 'Lord of Lions Keep'  is still sitting on the top step of the 'Grand Hall.'  A much emptier room now.  The smell is, unpleasant.  That nostalgic odor trifecta.  With a side of vomit.  Lots of, fluids, on the floor.  The red carpet is even dirtier than the floor.

And what arrogant bastard damaged so much of the floor, columns, and windows?  If I find that mysterious, and may never be identified, person?  I will definitely say, stuff.

Going to be expensive.  Dammit.

Went to far.  Way too far.  The corpse of the former seneschal.  The dirt pile remains of the former seneschal's soul.  The now corpse of the impaled professor romance.  And one destroyed solid wood poisoned throne.

Whats left after my first audience in the 'Grand Hall of Lions Keep.'

Lets not forget the couple dozen ruined marriages and lives too.

Could have left it alone.  Should have left it alone.  But once I got started?  Didn't want to stop.

Hate the holier than thou's.  Better than you's.  And shit's don't stink.  Love rubbing their faces in it when karma bites.  The more they want to hide it?  The more I want to expose it.

The more I want to punish them.

Yeah, I'm brooding.  Fuck you.

The Mauger women made a choice.  Earned the consequences.

Tannault made a choice.  Leave Blue for the near zero chance of an intimate relationship with Red.  Earned the consequences.

Dumbette and Dumberette?  They were, controlled.  Sort of.  Influenced?  And the only way their minds could accept it was to decide they wanted it that way.  The rage spike I felt during their confession made it clear that at least one husband was there.

They are teachers.  Supposed bastions of critical and informed thinking.  In a school full of magic.  Should have been expecting tricks.  Forewarned is forearmed.  But ended up street corner whores.  Worse even.  At least prostitutes expect to get paid.

Is this world really worth saving?  If magic makes victims even easier to create?  Why not break this one?

Why not, break it... now.

"Master!" "Husband!"

Eh?  Wha?  Am I on my back?

"There's, so many."  Blue?

"Amadee save us."  Silvie?

Ow, Red, your plates are digging into me again.  Frankie?  You are so good at kissing.

~Master, command us.~  Rowl?

~Cleanse this world.~  Alex?

My face feels, wet.

"Stay with me, please!"  Frankie?

My eyes are closed?  Uh...  Open my eyes to see not a panting drooling half-elf cutey.  But a worried crying dark elf beauty.  Her eyes so full of tears they are raining on me.

"Ushi.  Did I make you worry again?"  My voice sounds hoarse.  Ozone smell?  Was I burning mana?

The smiling tear streaked face nods.  I hear a voice from below.

"I'm never letting go."

Look down to see another crying face staring at me from atop my chest.  Her arms wrapped around me.  A head topped with curly fiery hair.

"Then hold on tight Red."

Yeah, ow, those plates are really digging in though.

"Thank you for bringing me back girls.  Went to a really dark place that time."  Prop myself up-  "Oh."

Around me is every shadow I have.  Nearly a hundred.  Guess they thought it was time.

"Not yet guys.  Ushi is right.  First we need, more."  Are my undead, pouting?

My minions grudgingly, Alex looks particularly disappointed, fade and disperse.  Revealing not-sebastian and six maids behind them. With carts of food?

"Missed lunch again?"

"Yes Lord Barton."  Unfazed.

The odor trifecta does not wet the appetite.

"Lets eat in the east garden."

"Yes Lord Barton."  Dignified.

"New old seneschal?"

"L-lord?"  Not unfazed or dignified.

"Begin cleaning and repairs as soon as possible.  Oh, and good work."  See?  I'm management material.

"Th-thank y-you lord?"  Geesh, stop looking so pale.  It was just an army of undead ready to end the world.  Show some backbone man.

What good work?  How would I know.  You're just supposed to say that sometimes to employees.  Right?

Retrieve Tormentor and set it burning for a bit to clean off bits of ex-professor love machine.

Using dumbwaiters, hehe, the food is quickly brought up to the fifth floor balcony and out to the garden on the roof of the east annex.  Six of us have a relaxing lunch while slaves and servants begin working on the Grand Hall.

Six?  Ortwin's daughter, Juliote, insisted on tagging along.  Apparently dilf is an adventurer.  A real one.  Not a green card one like me.

Resting my head on Ushi's lap while Chani and Ali are feeding me fruit.  Some sort of cherry?  Edel and Juli are sparing in front of me.  Several guards cheer them on.

Edel is stronger but Juli is faster.  Edel is a lot more skilled though and Juli's moves are too readable.  Even her feints.

The partly cloudy blue sky, shade from the central block, and light breeze make it, just, perfect.

I look up at Ushi who is finger combing my hair.

"I have to go.  Don't I."

Frankie looks sad.  Blue replies.

"The strongest mage in Tourin recognized your authority darling.  In front of the two hundred most important people between Raelera and Granya."  Sigh.

"I'm sorry it is troublesome master.  Yet unused authority is lost authority."

Ugh.  Got called out by senior senior citizen.  He presented himself.  So I should do the neighborly thing and present myself to him.  There is a ton of paperwork to do, fees to pay, and asses to kiss.  God dammit.  I hate higher education.

Full of stuck up professors, stuck up students, and stuck up bureaucrats.  Yeah, not my funnest memories.

Juli spins to face me, getting disarmed and knocked down by Red for the umpteenth time.

"Ouch, that hurt Dame Edelys!"  Turning back to me.  "Lord Barton!  You are really going to Stormgarde?"

Huh?  Was she not listening earlier?

"That is what the Lord General offered."

Why is she making a guts pose?

Sigh.

Really didn't take long to get from Lions Keep to Stormgarde.  Walk west from the keep.  Thru one wall.  Down some steps.  Cross a footbridge.  Up some steps.  Thru another wall and...  Tada.

And what's before me?  Exactly what you would expect from a fantasy college campus.  Which isn't that different from a regular college campus.  Lots of grass.  Scattering of trees.  Lots of light brown brick walkways.  Not a whole lot of shrubs or flowers though. More, open.

Completely not what you would expect to see in medieval land.

From the signs, this is the dormitory side of the campus.  Women's dorms on the south side of the main east-west walkway.  Men's dorms on the north side.

Whoa.  Each side has their own kitchens and baths?  Red explains this is to help protect the women's chastity.  Yeah, from what I've seen so far?  They really, really, need a new strategy.

Straight ahead is a building as big as Lions Keep's keep.  Not as tall though but wider.  The central part is four stories with a dome on top.  With two story wings stretching north and south.  Big old fountain in front of it with pretty statues.

My shadows show me a similar fountain on the other side.  On the west side of it, next to the north gate, are stables, a couple of stores, post office, and storehouses.

While this side is strictly foot traffic?  The other side has roads too.  Still lots of grass.  Scattering of trees.  Teacher housing on the north side of the east-west road.  Looks like a gym, maybe, exercise fields, and another bath, on the south side.

On the west end of the road is a church.  Domed roof and everything.  Last thing before the wall, passed the church, looks like a lighthouse.

Only other standout is the south end of the main building.  Looks like an astronomers tower.  Complete with one of those telescope things sticking out the domed top.  On the north end appears to be, an auditorium?

Buildings are all made out of a beautiful red brick.  Tile roofs though are different colors.  Yellows, reds, blues, greens, very pretty.  Lots and lots of windows.

My shadows could show me more but this place is covered in wards and barriers.  Both active and passive versions.  Dozens, maybe hundreds, are covering all the significant looking buildings.  Even just random open spaces are magically protected.

Lions Keep has magical protection too.  But this is ridiculous.  Chaotic.  Almost random.

Not saying my minions couldn't breakthrough.  Just that it will probably alert whoever set them and may make a hell of a lot of noise.  So my shadows are cautiously navigating a minefield.

Sigh.

At the east gate stands me and five girls.  Five?  Yep.  Juli pleaded to come along.  A lot.  'Discussions' are going on between my new old seneschal and his just revealed in front of hundreds unfaithful wife.

Juli's two younger brothers have already been scooped up by relatives for the time being.  But since the oldest sibling was also revealed to be 'sullied?'  By the same guy and at the same times?  Yeah.

Lets just say marriage negotiations have been canceled for the 'foreseeable future.'  And the rank of 'potential' husbands?  Has dropped to the bottom of the noble barrel.  Which may not be a bad thing, sort of, since she has her eye on another adventurer.

Has a group she normally adventures with.  They are out for a week or more though on a goblin subjugation.  So she really doesn't have anywhere else to go.

I do give her credit for not trying a guilt trip with me or mine.  Those choices were hers to make.  Just as the consequences are hers to take.

This will be her second year in Stormgarde and she is majoring in Water School Healing Magic.

Out of the six of us only Ushi and I have never been here before.  Three are graduates and one is attending.  So no shortage of guides.

"Where too first, ladies."

Yep, I'm getting the grand tour.

Juli tries to get me into her dorm but apparently even a Viscount rank isn't enough to budge the stern spinster watching the doors.

The new school year does not begin until summer, two months away, but it looks like a few dozen are back already or never left.

Like the rapist teachers, the boys wear dark pants instead of skirts.  While the male teachers jackets reached the knees?  The boy students jackets are shorter.

Boys also all have 'ties' for their shirt collars instead of the girls' ribbons.  Crap.  Damn windsor knot.

The big difference with uniforms is the checkered colors.  While the girls wear it as a skirt?  The boys have a half cape covering just their left shoulder.

And the color patterns aren't just checkered.  Some have tartan and others have stripes.  According to Red, the pattern identifies their House.  Nation if they do not belong to a recognized House.

I also notice that the jackets, pants, and stockings, aren't all 'black.'  Just as the shirts aren't all 'white.'  Juli tells me that what matters is that the jackets, pants, and stockings are a shade of black.  While the shirt must be a shade of white.

Which makes sense considering that there is no mass manufacturing.  Everything is made individually.  So while the pattern might the same?  Material and color won't always match exactly.

Beyond the pleasant variations in colors between students?  How they wear the uniforms runs the gamut too. Some completely buttoned up. Some partially buttoned. Some completely unbuttoned.

Some wear the ribbon or tie tied tight. Others tied loose. Even others untied.

I stand there in front of the main building, 'Kashiwa Hall,' looking at everything and shaking my head.

"It really is like its ripped right out of an anime."

"Anime, master?"

"Don't worry about it, Ushi."

"Okay."

We get lots of looks from the students and faculty.  Especially the guys doing double takes over my girls.  However, no one approaches.  I don't look that impressive, since the vault ambush, and the new Lord of Lion Keeps face shouldn't be well known yet.

Guessing since Blue and Silvie are in uniform?  Everyone assumes we're guests.

Hear a familiar voice.

"Buddy.  You ever heard of the word, sneak?"

Yep, at the top of the stairs, is goth loli.  Though she's in a professor uniform now.  What does the white and light blue tartan skirt represent?  Still, the way she talks?  The way she acts?  Its too cute.  Too anime.

She's got be a halfling, right?  Or maybe some vampire loli?

"You would rather I sneak around?"

"Tch.  It was bad enough when you were in the keep."  She double face palms.  "As soon as ototo-san walked through the east gate, you set off wards all across campus!"  Ototo?

Some students look over which causes loli to lower her voice to a whispering grind.

"And how about what you're doing to the elementals and familiars?  Half of them are too terrified to move and the other half are begging us to escape."

"Fine."

Began pouring mana thru my shadows as soon as we entered and noticed all the protection.  Was curious how they would react.  This is the first magic school I've ever been too.  Want to know how safe and tough it is.

Smirk at her while recalling all my shadows across the campus.  Just leave guardians in our shadows.  Also pull my mana back in.

"Wha?  Where did they go?  Buddy?  How do you do that?!"  Pouting?

If she starts hopping?  I'm walking away.  More looks from students keep her from blowing her top.

She sighs way to loudly and looks at Blue.

"Ali?  I expect a lewd girl like Chani to be attracted to this delinquent.  Don't you know better?"

Ototo-san?  Lewd?  And now delinquent?

"Darling saved my life and my future."  She hugs my head into her breasts.  "I'm looking very forward to being your student again Dean Frost."

"And I will like being the sensei of such a good student again."  Another loli pose!

"That's it!"

I lunge up the stairs.

"Eeeep!"

Loli springs backs, her back smacks against the wall, and hits her head.

I'm on her in an instant with my right palm slapping against the wall next to her left ear.  I'm down on my right knee so I'm short enough that we are face to face.  Inches apart.  Her eyes are big as plates and her face is beat red.

"I am done with this game!"

"G-g-ga-game?"

"Yes.  Game.  There is no way this place is real."  Is there?  "Ototo-san?  Sensei?  How do you know those words?  These buildings.  These uniforms."  Yeah I'm pissed.  "Its like you stole it from an anime.  Even you, a goth loli?"

Loli's eyes have gone from trembling to swimming.  How did her face get even redder?

"Its too out of place.  Its too obvious.  It doesn't fit a medieval renaissance period.  Especially a fantasy European one.  Much more than fantasy castle over there.  What's next?  A six string guita-"

My rant is interrupted by loli lip-locking me.

"!!!"

Lurching backward to escape fails completely since she's quickly wrapped her arms and legs around me.

"You're real!  You're really real!  Really really real!"

Loli is saying the strangest things between lip-locks.  Real?

With an excited halfling wrapped around me and doing her best to crawl into my mouth tongue first?  I turn around to the girls looking for answers, help, a crowbar, anything.

Juli?  Stunned.  Mouth hanging open.

Silvie looks really amused.  Or aroused.  Maybe both.  Probably both.

Blue?  Confused.  Very very confused.

Red looks worried.  Hands on her sword and dagger.  Eyes scanning for danger.  Sure this is some sort of trap or ambush.

A good dozen students are looking our way, just as confused as Blue.

Frankie?  Pissed.  No, outraged?  No, irate?  Not even close.  Furious?  Yep, that's the word.  Furious.  Staring at loli like she's ready to rip her to pieces.  With bare hands and teeth.

Before Ushi's clawed hands reach loli?  Red does.  Satisfied that there are not dozens about to attack.  Edel reaches in an peels, yeah that's the closest word, the halfling sensei off me.

Big inhale!  Yes!  Oxygen!  Whew.  Can breath again.  Scourge of gods killed by smooching loli.  Film at eleven.

"No!  Give him back!  He's mine!  Been waiting longer than you!  I got dibs!"  Dibs?

I grab loli's flailing arms.

"Stop!"

Push my mana in through her wrists and the eyes start focusing again.

"Come on.  Get it together.  I need spunky irreverent magical girl back."

No words but at least she nods.

Edel lets her down and I let go of her wrists.  Which doesn't gain me much ground because sensei immediately grabs my hands.  That's, quite the grip.

She stares deep into my eyes.  Disturbingly deep.  Like to catch a predator deep

"You have no idea how long I've waited for you."

Uh oh.

Frost, Franziska (female, halfling?, tourinese)

Mauger, Juliote (female, human, tourinese)