Chapter 27: Hasta La Vista

---D-Day+17, Nizhen 20th---

"He. Ha. Ho. Heh... Hii... Whoa. Wow."

That was so amazing, we should name it. May never be able to top that? But won't mind trying. Two gorgeous women have collapsed, instantly asleep, in my arms next to a campfire. Except now? We are on a raised earth bed with layers of bedrolls, blankets, and furs, spread on top of it.

Fancy church tent has moved and one side been opened up. The side facing the fire. On the same oversized bed is also a very satisfied looking halfling girl.

Hey. I didn't touch her. Apparently I'm still scary to her. She got a bit, 'desperate' after the first couple of honeymoon hours though. That's when Ushi got up and brought her over. So while her virginity is still, I checked, intact? She, may be a lesbian now.

Keeping her hymen for this long in this shitty world? Quite the achievement. So maybe she was a homo to begin with? Whatever. I'll leave that to the experts like Donahue and Doctor Phil.

Oh, and we are linked now. Not the loli, shame on imaginary you, but my wives. Wives, plural. Yeah, still sounds weird. The rings triggered it. Tested it and the effect remains even without them. This is different from the living shadows and super swords.

We can't speak to each other but we can feel what each other, well, feels. Sort of. Not quite sure of all its really doing yet. Though, the whole sharing emotions thing? Made yesterday and last night un-fucking-believable.

So we can sense each other but we can't read each other's minds or memories. Also can't control them thru this 'link.' Yeah, shame on mind control tagged pervert me, I tried. Avi, I mean Ushi, believes our link will get stronger so we'll eventually be able to do the telepathy thing.

What we've got now though is pretty fucking powerful. I'm not to proud to admit that I cried when they faced a guilt attack with me. Uh. Macho tears of course. Tough needs Bounty paper towels tears. Sniff. Tito? Get me a tissue.

They can't sense the other presences in my mind though. Thank god. My cranium is crazy enough as it is, without exposing my wives to that noise. Ugh, need to get up and get moving. The search parties will reach this part of the vault eventually and I do not want another battle with the church right now.

Need to get stronger first. Replenish the ranks. Get in the tub and wash up.

Oh, yeah, made a hot tub yesterday. Its on the other side of the fire. God, I went though a lot of mana. We stay much longer and I'll turn this place into a proper mansion. Yeah, there are... columns. Well, Ushi needed something to lean against when we... Stop judging me!

"Hmm..."

Shit, my noisy brain woke them up. Oh that is some sexy stretching. Down boy!

"Master?" Ushi still insists on calling me that. Yeah, the slave mark is still there too. Which she also refuses to end. Multiple wives is unsettling enough. A slave wife? Yeah, the jury will hand down a guilty verdict before the trial even begins.

"Stop it Jon." Edel can see right thru me. "You accept us. We accept you."

Ushi nods. "Everything." She seems happier now. Maybe feels safer? She giggles. "I do." Uh oh. I'm getting horn-

"Ow!" Why you pinch me Shorty? Now, why you kissing me?

"Thank you. I needed that." Okay, so the lesbian label may be 'premature.' "But we have to go." Oh, flirting to get your way? She's right though. "I need to find dad."

Ouch. That hit close to home. Shorty will stay in Colrac and she should. The church is aiming for me.

Edel opens the debate. "We should run east, to the Marquis."

"There are no libraries that compare to Stormgarde in the east." Ushi retorts. "We need archives to find clues. We should continue west."

Ernesta's goal is clear. "Find my father. He'll protect us from the church."

"Metia's fanatics will not attack the Lord General. Jon will be safe there and can train." Edel's gotten awfully motherly since being my nurse.

Ushi stands her ground. "I never thought templars would attack the Lord General's knights, but they did. They have less influence in the west than the east."

"I'm not going east or west. The guild here can stop the church." Shorty needs our help to get home. But that's all she needs.

It goes round like this for a while. They all have good points but I need the west more than the east. Need to hunt down records of who's sent visions of another world. Time for big daddy to put his foot down.

"We will take Ernesta home. I won't let the church stop me. We will continue our journey once we have horses." Wouldn't mind getting some payback too. "Those who choose to get in my way? Will join the ranks of my army."

Red and, Blackie? Need another nickname for Ushi. Frankie? Oh, like Frankenstein? That'll work.

The ladies nod in agreement. Guide Girl looks relieved and lip-locks me again. Well... We don't have to leave right, right now.

Okay. Ah. So. Uh. Not a lesbian.

*ahem*

At first, the plan had been to leave during the day. But I realized that with an army of undead? Andhumpingallday. Leaving at night! Is the wiser move. Yes. I'm smart! The night everyone else is so afraid of? Probably not that big a deal for me. Anymore.

"I'm Batman." It sucks that no one gets my cool pop culture references on this planet. ... Was that a flag?

Hey! Can't my wives protect their husband's honor by not rolling their eyes? At least be nice enough to just look confused like Shorty. How did that earn another eye roll? You're mocking me, aren't you. My wives have gained the isekai cheat power [See Thru Husband's Antics] and its dangerous.

To my ego.

Hmm... Needs a shorter name though. Husbandus Bullshitus? Its a work in progress. Speaking, or thinking, of cheat powers.

"My fourth cheat power."

Seriously, its completely OP.

Red nods.

"Completely."

We are watching my shadows pack up the camp.

Watching them work its kind of stunning. All of them live, in me. And live is the best way I can describe it. Depending on when its created, and how 'strong' its spirit was? A living shadow can retain a lot of its skills and individuality. They even retain some of their personality and habits.

Those created after they die are pretty basic. Like the rats, goblins, and kobolds.

Its different for those created before death. Downright eerie. One of the knights? Can't talk, but likes to whittle. Not bad at it too. Shorty got a little bear from him. No idea where it got the wood.

One of the priests? Likes to cook. Has to have someone with actual taste buds test it though. Tends to overcook, everything.

The paladin Evard? Likes to flip a knife when not busy. Pretty good at it too. Seen him juggling several a couple of times.

Even compared to Rowl, my strongest shadow, the before death shadows are much more expressive and individualistic. Its pretty damn fascinating.

All of my new living shadows were templars who survived the cave in. Severely injured and dying. So I've been wondering, what would a living shadow created from a not near-death person be like? How much identity would it retain?

Just not found anyone I hate enough yet to test it on. Bet its super painful. That's if it will even work. The soul of someone healthy may be too tightly attached to tear away from its body. And if I can? Not sure that is a power I should have.

Edel squeezes my arm to derail that train of thought. My wives are getting good at running interference when my thoughts turn dark.

"Thank you."

While I was brooding, the shadows have finished and we are ready to go. The hot tub is filled in and everything looks like there was never a camp here. Leave one column though. Got some freaky memories there. Its a monument for future generations to learn from.

Should I add handles? We could have used some handles. Nevermind.

Ushi wraps up her training session with the shadow oracles. For some reason she can't use light magic anymore either, and we head for the goblin hole. She is 'converting' her light school knowledge to dark very quickly. There may be some strange synergy between those schools.

Hehe.

"I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate." Come on Red, stop rolling your eyes at me.

Oh, and Ushi explained her new name. In Granyan, Avalina means 'light' something or other. Of course that does not fit her looks anymore. So she has renamed herself Ushinua.

It means 'dark flower.' Well, Shorty knows some elfish and let me know on the down low that it also means 'dark lord's lover.' That particular flower species has a pretty unpleasant history. Are my wives already making career plans for me?

Would rather be a neet.

"Yep. Its a hole."

Its a 'goblin' hole, so there really isn't much room for human sized people. Like me. Living shadows to the rescue! They dig out the tighter stretches of surprisingly hard rock, until we can walk thru comfortably. They also slaughter all the goblins.

Of course there's goblins. Its a goblin hole.

"[Shadow Levy]"

And I now have dozens of extra diggers. This necromancy stuff? Rocks!

The smell is god awful, goblins, but we make good time. In an hour we are strolling out the other end, and breathing fresh air for the first time in days. Well, fetid swampy graveyard air, but it still smells better up here than underground. So good to feel wind again.

"Amazing." Is what Ernesta mumbles and I agree.

The shadows, per my will, are collapsing the tunnel behind us while I look for picket signs about undead taking their jobs. None? Whew. Never, piss off the union. Ever.

[Super Senses] shows we are an hour's hike from the vault entrance and three hours from Carloc. Could move faster but Ushi and I are still not in top form. So we'll take it easy. A nice stroll thru a massive and ancient decaying and haunted cemetery, at night? Just what the doctor ordered.

Not enough room yet so I release the goblin souls.

"Ah... Nice."

Its cloudy, so no stars, but not too chilly. Very slight breeze. Lots of, mist? Fog? But its all low to the ground. Like in a classic horror movie.

Ushi's holding my hand acting deredere while my shadows swarm and pounce on anything that even looks at us cross-eyed. My senses and the guide's skill keeps our meandering path on dry ground.

It really is a pleasant walk with Ernesta in front, Ushi on my right, and Edel behind. Even mama bear Red relaxes and starts giggling whenever my shadows find a new target, like some poor zombie or probably minding its own business wraith.

She begins walking beside me instead of behind. Good, I prefer her at my side. She must have felt that because she blushes and shyly takes my left hand.

Yes, she may be the marquis's guard and the count's spy? But she is now also my wife. Though I understand she still needs to look tough in public? Right now there are only family and friends here. So she should take a break.

"Is it really okay if I tell him, Jon?" Red really likes saying my name. Its very cute.

She's admitted that her job is to spy on me as much as guard me. No worries. It would be unreasonable to expect otherwise. As my lover, its okay for her to have divided loyalties. As my wife? It is not.

Ushi's explained to me that its customary for a wife's first loyalty to be to her husband. Just as its okay for a husband's first loyalty to not be to his wife. Yep. Good old sexism.

Squeeze her hand and say.

"Of course, the marquis and count will be happy for us."

Again worry that she's awfully young for me and, again, remember that she's actually years older than me. Even Ushi is a couple years older. Wait, are my wives cougars? Shotacons? Nah... Well? At least they haven't started saying 'ara ara' yet so I'm probably safe. Probably.

Edel looks at me, tilts her head, and gives me a confused look.

"Oh my oh my?"

Oh shit.

Barton, Ushinua (female, elf-human, tourinese)