Chapter 19: Bed Bath and Barony

Under a cloudy sky we start the final leg of our journey, 'out of the wilds.' Red's told me what to expect. Since leaving the cathedral we have been in the Barony of Shadefall. A lightly populated territory along Tourin's northeastern frontier.

Before nightfall we should reach the capital of the barony, Colrac. A town of a few thousand whose sole claim to fame is the nearby dungeon, the Vault of the Lost Guardian.

Like in some isekai stories, 'dungeons' in this world are sort of natural formations. Mana flows across this world and sometimes 'pools' in places. If this pooling goes on for long enough, it may solidify into a jewel like stone. A 'dungeon core.' This rock begins sinking into the earth.

The more mana it collects, the deeper it sinks. Like a shatter pattern on glass, a complex network of tunnels and caverns spreads behind it.

Concentrated mana attracts monsters and, over time, mutates them. Plants and even the rock itself also change. Monsters with thicker skins making better leather. Plants with medicinal leaves making better potions. Mana infused metals making blades lighter and sharper.

Materials from a dungeon can be very valuable. So unless a dungeon is too dangerous? Locals prefer to 'farm' them instead of destroy them.

This dungeon is quite poor, only iron rank, with just ten plus floors. Still valuable enough its discovery caused the region to be resettled.

Per Avi, the Vault of the Lost Guardian was the cemetery for the area's original capital, Kilmere. Centuries ago, the local king died without a clear successor and a bloody battle began.

The succession struggle weakened the domain so much that it fell to orcs soon after and was abandoned. Some time later a dungeon core formed in the graveyard and the vault was born.

After the dungeon's discovery, a group of tourinese nobles sponsored the region's resettlement and became its rulers. Its considered the edge of civilization in Tourin because no trade routes reach beyond it.

Once we pass Colrac we won't need to camp outdoors anymore as the inns will be large enough to support our convoy.

This dungeon is one of three along our planned route.

Lady Gilend wants us to enter this dungeon because its the smallest and poorest. Richer dungeons can be so busy you have to schedule expeditions weeks in advance plus are dominated by large guilds. We don't have the time to wait.

So a short expedition will give me valuable 'dungeon crawling' experience and net us a tidy profit.

"Gorgeous."

Our wagons finally leave the encroaching wooded hills and I can see Colrac spread beneath us from the carriage. With the setting sun beyond it, its like a scene out of an rpg video game.

Tall medieval european style walls and towers ring a settlement with hundreds of tile roof homes. Some houses have green roofs. Others red. Even yellow and orange roofs. Much prettier than the wood or thatch roofs found in the villages. Is that an aqueduct?

Our road passes by a great double door gate, itself flanked by towers, busy with people, horses, wagons, coming and going.

Along the street leading to the gate, numerous tents and stalls have been setup. Catering to the weary traveler's almost every need. Wait, hookers and shrines? Catering to the weary traveler's every need.

The lack of escort coming out to meet us strikes me as odd, at first, until I remember what else Dame Edelys told me. You see? I'm a bit of a black sheep.

Because I enslaved their oracle, took their holy sword, and am not a gullible hero? The church kind of hates my guts. Okay, not kind of. They really, really, hate my guts. I'm like a walking fountain of heresy. The poster child for blasphemy magazine.

Tourin, believes in multiple gods. Well, think about it. This world has magic. If Jesus showed up? His miracles might not even raise an eyebrow.

Religion is the classic fantasy setup. Each god or goddess having certain turf like fertility, death, war, harvests, justice, etc, etc... One interesting difference between this world and typical fantasy? Priests are casters. Their miracles are not god granted.

While they can get 'help' from their deity when needed? Like extra mana. Its still a spell they are casting.

Each nation, and in some places even certain towns, has their favorite god. The other gods are present too but there is always one divine patron considered more important than the rest. In the Kingdom of Tourin? Its the goddess Metia. The goddess of wisdom and war. Ugh...

Didn't care enough to pay much attention when Avi taught it. Basically, in this nation, if someone says church? They mean Metia's followers. And? They hate me.

There is an upside though. Unlike the lord of a remote village with a few hundred people? Who is desperate for excitement? A baron lording over thousands cares more about keeping the peace.

And how do you keep thousands of ignorant superstitious dumbasses peaceful? By not pissing off the church they got too almost every day of the week. Of course pissing off a marquis is a really bad idea too. So, as a compromise? He is ignoring me.

If that means I do not have to deal with more feast poisonings, kidnappings, and duels? I am a-okay with it.

Of course they know we're coming. That's why when we roll up clattering to the gate? The guards only do a quick inspection. Eyes bulging a bit when they see a big ass barbarian in a comfy carriage surrounded by clinging hotties.

Naturally, a couple of priests and their thugs are waiting too. Giving me the stink eye. Not wanting a showdown at the town gate? A local knight, sent by the baron, quickly guides us to the biggest inn in town. Where we are treated politely but coolly.

The nicest room in the inn has already been set aside for the adopted son of the eastern frontier's marquis. As well as other rooms for the wagon drivers, soldiers, knights, and Edelys.

My room? Two octans, silver coins, a night. Olete tells me a typical cheap room costs twenty daesi a night. Those are copper coins. That's around fifteen times the cost of the hotels Olete normally stays in.

Currency goes from copper to bronze to silver to gold to white-gold coins. 'Paper or plastic' doesn't exist. There is paper for transactions too big for bags of gold coins but those are more like temporary contracts than currency.

The adventurers are not staying with us. Their contract is over so they are off to the guild for payment and to look for more work. My room is straight out of a bishojo game. Like stupid fancy. Gotta admit. Kind of freaking me out.

Holy shit, this is the biggest bed I've ever seen. Are harems that common in this world?

At least they've got a bath. Yep, like one in those Ancient Rome shows. Beats the hell out of the buckets and streams we've been using.

With tourinese baths you first have the changing room where you strip. Next is a warm washing room, where you scrub yourself clean. Then a hot resting pool slash sauna where you relax and open the pores. Finally a cold pool to refresh and wake you up before going back to the changing room.

Apparently every 'town' in Tourin worth a damn has at least one public one. There are private baths too, our inn has one. The public ones sometimes have separate pools for men and women or partitions. Private ones usually do not. Some have schedules for female only times.

Olete says women being attacked in baths is a common element of the dirtier tavern stories and songs.

In truth, the baths are well staffed with slaves and or servants shepherding bathers thru the process. Keeping things on schedule, keeping the peace, and preventing incidents described in the bawdier tales.

They also provide services like haircuts, washing, massages, sex, other spa type stuff, and even musical performances. The typical bath experience lasts for an eight-hour or two.

The girls do not feel comfortable in a small bath surrounded by men, understandable, so they are going to wait for the female only time. Oh and they've already got soap in this world. So no getting rich off selling it like happens in other isekai stories.

Not like I know how to actually make soap anyway. Or anything else that was common in my world either. Ugh... But I can quote movies I like. 'May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.' Hooray for useless knowledge!

Bathing is a more communal experience than I'm used to. Surrounded by naked dudes staying at the inn. Including some of the guys from the convoy. Hardly the shy type but this is making me uncomfortable.

Maybe I just miss privacy? Taking a shower alone used to be my only 'me' time. There are over two dozen of us in here and some of these guys are pretty talkative. Baths are apparently a good place to 'network.'

A shorter fat guy is definitely the most outgoing of the bunch and approaches me in the hot pool after chatting up a few others.

"Greetings! I am Paulinus. A humble merchant from Wevelten." The smile looks genuine at least. "You have quite the strange look for these parts. From where do you hale if you don't mind me asking good sir."

Is this guy a used wagon salesman?

I try to keep it brief and stick with my cover story.

"The north."

"Oh, a fearsome northern marauder. Well you definitely have the look for it. An adventurer by trade?"

Feel like I've been emailed by Nigerian royalty who just need my bank account number to get their millions.

"Just passing thru."

No, I'm not giving you my social security number.

This savvy fat man doesn't miss much.

"I see, and under escort too it seems." A couple of the Black Hart knights are eying him. "Very interesting." Rubbing his chin. "I trust my nose and you smell of future profits." No, I am not giving you access to my computer. "Well do keep me in mind if you need a good offer for whatever you might want to sell."

He smoothly moves on to the next clump of gentlemen to look for money making opportunities.

Besides his interruption the time passes quietly.

As we leave I see the girls enter along with other women from the inn. Meaning, I'll have a couple of hours to myself for the first time in... How long? All thoughts of going to a bar or hooker? Vanish.

Make a beeline for my room and immediately leap into the oversized stuffed bed. Not as comfortable as a mattress in my world but a hell of a lot better than a bed roll on the ground.

"Status." "Inventory." "Message." "Skills."

I've gotten into the habit of randomly saying things that revealed the gamey stuff in other isekai. Yeah, its dumb, but no dumber than suddenly finding myself in a fantasy world with a body that's only fifteen years old.

Shit, I had a slave harem within a couple of days. This can't be real. It hurts like its real. So I'm going to treat it that way until I find out otherwise. Sleepy time.

Now I'm not an idiot and quickly learned to sleep with one eye open, so to speak. Half awake when the girls enter as quietly as possible. Turns out? There was an incident. Hear the girls quietly chatting, not wanting to 'wake' me.

A couple of their bathing partners were actually adventurers who had been hired to, you guessed it, 'free' the oracle. Seems folks still think Avi's slavery is involuntary.

They were not expecting the cat-fight that followed. The inn's guards shut things down quickly and detained the adventurers for the town guard. Since no significant injuries occurred they'll probably get off with a fine.

Don't know enough about how this world works to follow everything but did get lots of interesting tidbits. Shit, they're drinking wine. Yep, here they come. Well my nap was nice while it lasted.

"""Master..."""

Sigh.

You keep using that word. I'm beginning to think it does not mean what you think it means.

Paulinus (male, human, tourinese)