Branch 8: Antagonists “R” Us

---Hours Earlier---

---Beyulongong, Middle Ward---

"Little girl!" Reach. "Watch out!"

*screech* *WHAM*

“Aah!”

A shocked boy sits up and screams. Frantically patting his body. Checking for injuries. Still feels the heat from the swerving truck's grill and engine on his face.

‘Wha?’ He dazedly thinks. ‘Where am I?’ Eyes struggle to focus. ‘Am I in a hospital?’

As his sight clears he realizes that he is indeed on a bed. But this isn't like any clinic cot he's ever seen.

'Did some kind rich sister take me home instead?'

The quiet dimly lit room certainly seems expensive. Everything has a handmade look to it. From his big canopied bed to the table, dresser and chairs. Yet, something seems off.

'Where's the TV?'

Getting worried, the young man realizes that more than just the television is missing.

'Where's the lights? No, there isn't even a light switch. Or an outlet? Laptop?' Shakes his cloudy head to try and clear it. 'What the heck?!'

Focuses more on the objects around the room. The floor, walls and ceiling. All show superb craftsmanship and materials. This is real silk? Is that all sandalwood? But absolutely none of it looks like it came from a factory. Nothing is too flat. Or misaligned. Every single thing here is…

'Perfect.'

A dang lot better than that crappy "efficiency" apartment. Even his well-to-do parent's old, and lovingly cared for, home.

'Mom might be worried. Better call them.' Lightbulb. 'Call! Phone! Where's my phone? Where's…' Discovers he's not in this bunk, alone. 'Whoa.'

*gulp*

Long silky black hair traces down a bare back that disappears under blue silk sheets. Skin as white as snow and smooth as jade. A stunning profile with high cheekbones, thin eyebrows, button nose and oh so kissable pouty lips.

Can't stop himself from reaching over. Obeying an undeniable urge to touch her.

Finely manicured fingers trail down the sleeping goddess’s graceful right arm. Which practically glows from the sunlight squeezing through far window slats. Her skin is soft and cool to the touch. Goosebumps rise in his fingernails' wake.

Some spots on the bedding are damp. Others downright soaked. Tangy musty smells linger in the cool perfumed air. Realization strikes like a lightning bolt out of the blue. The boy leaning back in shock.

'Did we have sex?!'

Quickly covers his mouth with a finely manicured hand to keep himself from shouting for joy. After all, who wouldn't want to wake up next to a beautiful Han lady. His mother will be so happy. And this bedroom surely means her parents are very wealthy.

*glee*

The part-time worker, full-time student, can see it now. He'll get a job at her dad's company. She'll raise their three children. Two boys. One girl. Make him lunch to take to the office everyday. And they'll visit family in winter. And vacation to Bali in summer. And… And?

Huh.

'Finely manicured hands?' Holds up both palms in a sunbeam to see them better. Wiggles the digits. 'These are really finely manicured fingers.' Nods. 'But… I don't have finely manicured hands.'

…

Huh.

…

'THESE ARE NOT MY HANDS!!!'

The teenager locks up and begins shaking. Realizing his whole body "feels" wrong. Especially the insides. Instead of a stomach ache after spicy food. Or burning lungs after a hard run. Something is moving in there. Sort of if he could now feel the blood traveling through his veins. Except it is not blood. Curious, he mentally follows the not-blood that's streaming around in his, um, not-body. Going deeper and deeper until, at last.

*splash*

A lake stretches out before him. An entire lake of not-blood. Streams enter and exit through passages in his not-body. And in the middle of the lake is… an island? On this sandy rock are two columns. One unfinished. He can almost read the symbols on them. Just a little closer-

"Master?"

"Aah!"

An unmanly scream is released as he jumps. Startled and disoriented while his senses snap back to the "outside." Barely catching himself before falling off the bed.

Cool hands grab hold of his arms. Delicate feminine fingers sending tingles up his spine. Something stirs beneath the sheets. Panicked, the boy almost pushes her away before his sight returns.

And what is seen?

"You have the prettiest green eyes." He's not sure why he said it. He's not even sure he said it. But the pink, that now colors her cheeks, convinces him someone said it. "So beautiful."

His awake companion shyly turns her head and lowers her gaze. "Oh!" Is said when she notices the tented sheet at his waist. Dainty fingers cover pink lips that lightly smile. "Did I do that, master?"

"Uh…" Casanova replies suavely. "Hi?"

"Xixixi…" Giggles tinkling like crystal bells. "Master, my mother taught me that the true way to a man's heart is not through his stomach." Lowers her elegant fingers. "But through his dragon."

*touch*

*zing*

Electricity shoots up the young man's spine as his junior, somehow, gets even more erect. And assures him that this goddess’s mom is the wisest woman on Earth. But, this beauty's not done yet. Slowly lowering her head as she scoots her hips back.

"Taught me that nothing involving a man could not be solved by pleasuring his dragon with your mouth." Emerald eyes gaze up into his as she drops lower… and lower… The other ivory hand pulling back the bedding to reveal.

'Wow, but, uh, that's not mine either.'

*kiss*

"Oh…"

*lick*

Groan…

*suck*

"Hamana hamana hamana."

"Xixixi… does master really like it?" *earnest nodding* "Then I will do my very best♡."

*schlurp*

Some. Time. Later.

These may not be his hands. And that may not be his, uh, dragon. But the young man doesn't care. Cannot remember ever smiling this much, before. Cannot remember ever being this happy, before. The boy was no virgin. But no other girl has ever been this willing. This eager to please. As the goddess in his arms right now.

'Don't even know her name.' Post-nut clarity. 'I've cum in her so many times.' Finger brushes her hair. 'And how am I not dead? Some sort of erectile dysfunction?' Laying on his back. 'Should call the clinic.' Slides his palms up and down her body. Rubbing here. Squeezing there. 'Being in a different body will be hard to explain.'

"Mmm, master, that feels so good." The girl lifts her head and leans forward to kiss him. *chu* No exploring passionate tongues, this time. Just the tenderness of meeting lips. "Thank you." Hugs me. "I will bathe first, master."

"Okay, thank you." She looks at me curiously and smiles. Before climbing off the bed. Exposing a lean body, firm boobs, and supple ass. The lack of weight on his chest spurs a strange fear. Suddenly afraid, the boy rushes to speak. "I… I want to make you happy."

His goddess turns back, jade eyes wide. Surprised. Then tilts her head and looks at him curiously again. "Thank you, young master." Bows, turns, and walks elegantly through a door. Glimpse of a large wooden tub before it closes.

Back on the wet sticky smelly bed. Part-time worker, full-time student, facepalms and groans. 'Well, if I didn't screw it before. I did now. Want to make you happy? What idiot says-'

[If I had a body, I would so tap that.]

"Aah!"

*flump*

Apparently the third scream's the charm. Since this time he does fall off the bed. And despite his new upside down position, the upbeat happy voice continues.

[I suggest screaming less in the future. It will keep people from thinking you are a wuss. Unless you are acting like a wimp to trick your opponents into lowering their guard. If so then you should scream more. Here, I will help you practice.]

"Master?" Running water. "Are you alright?"

[Aah.]

"Uh, everything's perfectly alright now." Struggling to stand. "We're fine." Fighting yucky sheets. "We're all fine here, now, thank you." And losing. "How are you?"

*cringe*

[Host, that was terrible. Try it again. I have every confidence you can do this. Repeat after me.]

[Aah.]

He freezes for a few moments. Then double facepalms. "Oh no…" Turning his head. Checks under the bed. "No no no…" Drops his hands and stares at the ceiling. "Crap."

[Host? Hello?]

Sticks a finger in each ear before whispering. "Talk again."

[Are you speaking to me?]

Hands drop back to the ground. Lays on the floor and sighs. "You're in my head, aren't you."

[Well, you are my host. Where else would I be?]

"So, this is a book." Rolls onto his back. "What's the title?"

[This is not a novel.]

"Okay… a virtual reality game?" Holds up his arms and examines them.

[This is not a virtual reality game.]

Bends his joints. "Another world?"

[Yes, named Ipra.]

"And everyone has a system?" Flexes muscles.

[No, only a select few. Host, it would be faster to just unlock this vessel's memories.]

Confused. "Why didn't I have them from the start?"

[Transmigration can be disorienting. We find it best to give hosts time to adjust before adding their vessel's experiences. Also, you do not have to speak. Just thinking clearly is enough to communicate.]

'Okay, let's get this over with.' Prepares himself. 'Need to know who I am, uh, was.'

…

…

…

The boy's eyes grow wide and face pales as his head whips around to face the door to the bathroom.

'I raped her!' Nausea. 'God, I'm going to be sick.' Covers his mouth. 'What an evil bastard.'

[There were extenuating circumstances.]

Rages inside. 'Mommy and daddy not giving him enough attention and asshole relatives justifies beating or raping anyone weaker and poorer than him?!'

[No, but it does explain it.]

'She must hate me.' A deep sigh.

[The abducted and threatened peasant girl Zou Xingyi hates the molesting young master Teng Bo Qiang. Not you.]

Groans. 'I am Teng Bo now, remember?'

[Well, it is never too late to make a good first impression.]

'Yes, yes it is, whatever your name is. Yes it-'

*clack*

The new young master scrambles to his feet as a freshly washed goddess steps out of the bathroom. Steam rising off white scrubbed skin in the crisp air. Covering breasts and vagina with her hands makes Bo's heartbeat even louder.

"X-xing'er…" He doesn't know what to say. "I… I…"

The village girl musters her courage and looks the clan prince in the eye. "You are not him, are you?"

[Host, do not tell her. This could disrupt-]

"No," steps closer, "no I'm not."

[Or just go ahead. Why bother listening to me? It is not like I have eons of experience or anything.]

Xingyi steps closer too. "I was going to kill myself this morning." Shivers. "You, uh, he was so rough. It hurt and hurt but he just laughed." Wraps both arms around herself. "Then I woke up, and he… You spoke differently. Moved differently." Step. "Looked so… lost. Just like me."

Teng Bo locks onto her green eyes. "Just like me?" Step.

Nods sadly. "I begged father to bring me to town." Step. "Didn't want to spend my life as a village wife. Hoped to catch a young master's eye. And you, he, was so handsome." Shudders. "Never dreamed anyone could be so cruel."

*grab*

Bo wraps his long limbs around the shorter girl. Big hands pull her in close and hold tight. She rests her head on his chest and tries to melt into him. Tears trickle down flushed cheeks.

"You were so kind. So gentle." She hugs him back. "So strong. So… long." Hands start traveling south. "Master changed all that pain, to pleasure." Looks up. "All that fear, to love."

*chu* *mua* *chu*

[So, we will just chat later then? Discuss saving the world another time?]

"Sorry, Xing'er," lust, "I'm getting you all dirty again."

*rub* *pinch*

"Ah…♡ Master…♡" Starts pulling the boy towards the bathroom. "Then I should wash again." Strokes the dragon. "Will you help me?"

The young man finds he can't stop smiling again. And happily follows her through the door.

[You are not going to answer me, are you.]

More. Time. Later.

*tach* *tach* *tach*

Two lovers snuggle together in a rickshaw as it winds its way down the mountain. The girl is overjoyed to have found a man of status and means. Who is also her age and handsome. The night of abuse and terror fades from her mind. Overshadowed by kindness and passion this morning.

While the young master's new occupant is having an overdue mental conversation with his "system."

'So, what are you, exactly?'

[Now you notice me again? Fine. Host, I am your Antagony Assistant.]

'Ant-agony?'

[I know, it does not sound very good. And many suggestions for a replacement have been submitted to make it more, uh, bitchin. My personal favorite is "Gonna Git U Sucka." See? The intentional misspelling adds humor. Sadly, management has not reached a consensus yet.]

'And why are you here?'

[Do you ever feel the world is against you? Well, that is because it is. You have been fated to lose. Protagony supports fate with its agents, vessels and hosts. They want minding-their-own-business innocents like Teng Bo Qiang to fail in life.]

Incredulous. 'Innocents?'

[Some labels are more open to interpretation than others. Anywho, Antagony opposes fate. Struggles to give everyone an equal chance. Our members are freedom fighters. Bravely battling the fatriarchy across the universe.]

'Huh.' Skeptical. 'Fatriarchy?'

[Some things get lost in translation. You speak a very primitive language. Hosts are called upon when there is an unusual concentration of protagonism. Which has occurred here. Unfortunately, due to budget cuts, recruiting policies have been relaxed somewhat.]

'Somewhat?'

[Indeed, otherwise hiring an awkward uncoordinated average, at best, student who somehow threw himself in front of a truck trying to save a child who was in no danger to begin with? Would have been a hard pass.]

'Oh.' Uncomfortable. 'You saw that?'

[...]

'Umm…' Changing subject. 'But don't the protagonists always win?'

[Tsk tsk, another victim of Protagony propaganda. Antagony success rates are actually much higher than the Protagony controlled media would have you believe.]

'Oh?' Curious. 'Like fifty percent?'

[It is against Antagony policy to precisely define the words, much and higher.]

'Okay…' Doubting again. 'So what now?'

[Now you find the protagonists and damage their fate. Taking or ruining their opportunities and relationships until there is nothing left. At which point their behavior pattern usually gets them killed.]

'So, I'm supposed to risk my life?' Annoyed. 'And what do I get out of it?'

[Rewards of course.]

'Oh, sweet!' Greed. 'Like cool swords, lots of gold and flying boats that I keep in a little ring?'

[No, I apologize, we are not allowed to do that on this planet anymore.]

'Huh? Why?'

[Porn.]

'Uh… porn?'

[Yes. A couple thousand years ago a protagonist host came here from a world with storage magic. And he managed to bring his porn collection with him. It was said to rival the largest libraries in the universe in size and scope.]

'Why would that matter?'

[Because nothing is free of course. The mana drain to maintain it was significant. But then the hero kept finding and making more! Adding it all to his storage dimension. Finally this world began running out of magic. Unable to support that lewd archive anymore.]

'So what happened?'

[War happened. Heard it was pretty brutal. And after the dust settled. A treaty was signed that banned all storage magic and spatial artifacts on this planet.]

'Well that's inconvenient. Then-'

"Master? We're here."

One loving look from her emerald eyes and Bo feels he can take on the world. A long kiss and deep hug is shared before she exits the curtained rickshaw. Fighting a bit with the blue and red hanfu, again grateful he had servants and his goddess to help get dressed. The young master manages to debark too.

Waiting are a pair of servants and guards. His employees. As a pengxue, basically an exchange student, from a sect in southern Luyan plus a young master. Teng Bo is permitted to hire a small staff. Which he had to do since neither his sect nor clan sent anything or anyone with him, besides some cash.

Two more of each are back at his modest siheyuan in the sect's middle ward. These men and women are "mostly" loyal. Since they are well paid and this is basically a dream job for menials and rogue cultivators. Creating lots of competition for open positions. Meaning they know they can be easily replaced.

Honestly, Bo observes, this villainous brat has worked his butt off. Delving dungeons and hunting bounties in the year he's been here to stay in the black, money wise. But then taking his frustrations out on anyone unfortunate enough to catch his eye.

'Nope. No holding hands.'

The teenager barely stops himself from taking Xing'er's hand. Doing so in public would be considered "wanton" and cost him "face." Sneaking touches here and there is okay. But no long stares or holding. Kissing is right out.

*cough*

The air down here is a bit warmer. But also dirtier and stinkier.

'Pee-yew.'

"Inner Disciple Teng Bo Qiang." An outer disciple comes over, salutes and bows. "Please allow this humbled one to escort you."

New Bo waves his hand dismissively,  like the old Bo would do, and follows the blue and green wearing daoist.

They quickly move up the ramps and stairs. Avoiding a large group clogging up an entire stairwell. Old Teng Bo has been here twice before. So the new young master isn't surprised when only one guard and servant follow him out onto the middle tier stands to the right of the sect's seating section.

Why not sit with the sect? Because, technically, Teng Bo Qiang is still a member of the Houshanmen, Monkey Mountain Sect. And only a guest of the Beyulongong. So at public events he sits with the guests.

"Master, it is so amazing." His lover is starstruck over the huge arena and the tens of thousands inside it. "So big." A stealthy squeeze colors the goddess’s face. Earning a whispered whine. "Master…♡"

He really wants her to use his name instead. But can't, in public, because it would also cost him face. "You haven't been here before, Xing'er?"

Shakes her head. "No master," sad, "the arena is far too expensive for my family."

The smitten boy dreams of bringing her whole family here to show off. Maybe once they are husband and wif-

[Alert! Protagonism detected! Alert!]

Eh?

Searches the crowd. 'Where?'

[Be patient, host. Still scanning. Go back to ogling your concubine's tit-found him!]

She senses his sudden tension. "Master? What is wrong?"

"It's okay." He lies. "Some of the applicants are just unexpectedly strong." Sneaky pats.

[Oh! There are two. Wow, that one is strong. But the other is not that bad.]

Exasperated. 'Are you going to show me or not?'

[Fine. Here you go, mister impatient.]

Two of the hopefuls light up with a halo. A very large man up front and a smaller boy in the back.

[Name: Ding Dong | Type: Vessel | Cultivation: Early 3rd Realm | Opportunities: B- | Relationships: C | Threat: Fatal]

[Name: Luo Kun | Type: Vessel | Cultivation: Mid 2nd Realm | Opportunities: E+ | Relationships: F- | Threat: Dangerous]

[Hmm… The big one is too much for you right now. Definitely been a vessel for years. Little guy is new though. Couple months, tops.]

*gasp*

Xingyi's covered her mouth with a delicate hand. Eyes turned big as saucers. Ivory skin becomes even paler while she trembles and mutters. "Luo… Kun?"

[Of course.]

"Xing'er, are you alright?" Holds her other hand, face be damned. "Do you know-"

A sudden ruckus to their lower left distracts them. And everyone else. The background noise of the stadium drums and audience goes quiet.

'Wow!' Flabbergasted. 'So many pretty women in one group.' Confused. 'Is that a daoist master's harem? So many westerners, uh, I mean, easterners. Wait, are those elves? Two elves in one harem? And an african?' Shock. 'Princess Li?! Who-'

[Alert! Protagonism detected! Alert!]

'Again? How is that- oh.' A male easterner swaggers out in green robes. 'Haha, geesh, I should have known.'

[Host, how could you possibly know who that is?]

'System,' watches the man step forward, pan across the crowds, and raise his arms. 'There is only one people on Earth born with that much casual arrogance.' Sigh… 'Americans.'

"[House of Grannus]"

*whoosh*

"Mast-!" Zou Xingyi only has a moment to shout before an ethereal purple wave washes over them. "-er?"

The fluid-like wave does not get him wet. But it soaks in all the same. Except it's his spirit that feels watered. Nourished. Tension, he didn't even know he had, lifts off him and drifts away. A whisper is heard not by his ears. But by his heart.

'It's going to be okay. You are not alone. We'll be alright.'

Encouraged, the new Bo solemnly promises to marry Xingyi as soon as possible. Without even realizing it, he's taken both of her hands in his and finds himself gazing into her sparkling jade eyes. But before he can say anything.

"I love you," she whispers, "Teng Bo Qiang♡."

*ding*

[Important relationship for Luo Kun taken.] An upbeat voice announces. [Rating drops from F- to G-.]

[Nice…]

'Huh?'

Turns back to see the younger and skinnier unwashed boy in peasant clothes, glaring at him with utter loathing. Then that hard stare shifts to the Easterner. But why?

'Ah, I see. It was his magic that gave her the courage to confess.' Shakes his head.

“Hahahaha!” Grand Elder Tiang Zhi Ming has stood up. His loud voice seems ro reach everywhere. “Once again the Beyulongong is the envy of all Luyan!” And the young master can't help but agree. A new disciple with that much power could upset the sensitive balance between the sects. Even the kingdoms.

Ignoring the pyrotechnics and following rant, he thinks. 'Have you scanned him yet?'

[No.]

'Then how about you do so.'

[Would it kill you to say please?]

[Name: Jon&%♤₩-Badun■#€☆ | Type: £□♧¤@ror | Error | Analysis Failed | Error]

[Well, that is new.]

'New?'

[Yes. That has never happened before.]

'Are you sure it's working?'

[Um, well, I think so.]

Groan…

"Master?" She is still holding his hands but her eyes are downcast. "I must apologize. I have brought you trouble."

Squeezes her hand. "Is it Luo Kun?"

Nods. "We were betrothed by our parents. But his family fell on hard times. So he left for the city. Promising to return when he was wealthy." Shiver. "But no one has heard from him in years. Even his own family thought him dead." Shrugs. "So when other families began asking for me…"

"Your parents ended the betrothal." Xingyi nods and sniffs. Tries to hide her tears.

Begins to plead. "What if Little Luo attacks you?" Chews on her lip. "I chose you, master. You are my heart and liver." Sniffs again. "But Luo Kun was a dear friend. Is it wrong to want him to not be hurt too?"

[And that is how antagonists get themselves killed.]

"Xing'er, don't worry." He reassures her. "I am officially a guest. A pengxue. Luo Kun cannot challenge me here." Another squeeze. "He can only-"

“I challenge Badun Yuehan!” Is shouted from the field.

"Eh?"

[Eh?]