Chapter 26: Wuxia Street
---D-Day+175, Goridine 18th, Tuesday Morning---
---Chenghai, Lian Clan Estate---
[Horn Pierce]
*ving*
A silver and blue rapier stabs in. Only to be deflected by a black and grey kodachi.
Rained last night so the stone is still damp under my shoes.
[Dragon Biting Tail]
*clang*
The kodachi cuts across. Stopped by the rapier.
Cool misty air fills my lungs as I go through the martial art's forms.
[Three Heaven’s Blade]
*ping*
Another piercing strike. Another parry.
Sweat makes the blue silk daoist robes sticky. Helping chill the flesh over my burning muscles.
Three days. It's been three days since protag bailed with his incest fetish harem and I couldn’t be happier. To avoid more troubles and tropes I've decided to turtle up in this xianxia clan’s super siheyuan, courtyard house. A chain of rectangular courtyards and gardens divided by walls and buildings.
Figure it would be better to stay put until my reinforcements, the skellies and golems, get here. So that’s what I’m doing. Not going anywhere. Not seeing anybody. Including the dozen or so more girls the other clans and local rich folk keep trying to tempt me with.
Plus one young master type who’s begging to become my “disciple.” Fixing his meridians and dantian with [Recovery Magic] got the twerp thinking I’m some sort of hidden master.
Sigh.
A japanese accent interrupts my thinkering.
“You are getting better, oji-san.”
Who's this JK calling uncle?
“Please, Hitomi, gonna bring it? Or do I need to make you beg again?”
Goddamn you half-japanese girls1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okthJIVbi6g. In this case half japanese and half dark-elf. Whose cheeks are blushing, furiously, right now.
“Jon-kun! You bully!”
A stomped foot and pout? So cute.
“What? You liked it last ni-”
“Hmph!”
[Steel Thrust Scale]
*chang*
The grey skinned japanese high schooler dressed like a sexy shinobi springs forward. Her short samurai sword stabbing at me. But swept aside at the last moment by my long thin blade.
"Nice one Hitomi."
And it really is. Gang Zhen Lin is a fourth realm technique. Hard for a daoist to use any technique above their cultivation realm. Tough to even learn them.
Thanks to [Super Senses] I see Hitomi using qi to write the skill's characters through her meridians. If it belongs to a higher realm? You might use paths you haven’t opened yet or push more mana than they can handle.
Possibly injuring yourself even if you succeed.
Been doing the daoist thing for three months now and the differences between draconic and elemental magic still amaze me. Internalizing “qi” to use techniques instead of externalizing “mana” to cast spells. This world keeps surprising me.
Granted, it's only been six months since D-Day. So not like I know elemental magic all that well either.
Fuck it, just gotta keep my eyes on the prize. Have two continents plus a harem working on the ritual and suspects. Let the experts do their thing. And with the ritual having a time component? No matter how long it takes. I can be back home before the wife and kids wake up.
Though now it's going to be to bring them here too. Yep. We’ll buy a nice little castle for two-er… hundred, next to a lake somewhere. [Recovery Magic] to keep everyone healthy. And dual-cultivation to keep the ladies satisfied.
Boys will love all this sword and sorcery crap. And who knows? Wife might even forgive me for cheating on her. Hundreds of times. With women, mostly, less than half her age.
…
Yeah, she’s gonna skin me alive. Welp, just have to burn that bridge when I come to it. Or is it, cross it? Hmm…
*zing* *kang*
Japanese high schooler and I are sweating up a storm as we spar, trade pointers, in one of the Lian clan estate’s courtyards. Looks a lot like you’d see in kung fu flicks set in imperial china.
We’re practicing Star Dragon Sword right now. A single sword martial art. So she’s only using one of her short swords and I’m just wielding the holy sword Sanctity. Been days since the dock ambush but demon blade Tormentor's will still feels a little weak.
So I’m letting it rest as much as I can.
*clap clap clap*
“Well done, Xingan!”
Yanese princess yells from one of the patios while her clique claps. Her vocal outburst scandalizing the maids, again. PDA’s, public displays of affection, are frowned upon in fantasy china. Except, in some cases, for the plutonic or filial kind. Especially among the nobility.
But she’s been getting a lot more “proactive” since Baiyu left.
I’m calling her troop the wuxia cheerleader squad now. Little Li, Big Ji, Kitsu, and the six clan girls. Making her faction the biggest in the harem. Red’s crew comes in second at seven. Frankie’s in third place with six. And poor Hitomi only has a measly three.
Of course power wise Tiang Li’s still in last place. Since no one in her faction is technically a wife or even concubine.
Yep, gotta love them polygamous relationships. Meh. Human nature and all that so I don’t mind. As long as it stays peaceful, mostly. Want none of that backstabbing, poisoning, scheming, bullshit I hear about with other big harems. None of it.
“I am pregnant, not crippled. Lady Chastel, please sto-”
Red’s annoyed voice reaches my ear from the other side of the courtyard. Where she and Frankie are holding court. At least trying too. Yeah, they don’t have to do this within sight of me. But ever since Little Li and Big Ji snuck into the harem. The haremites have been a bit clingy.
“Hiyah!” “Ha!”
Another side of the stone paved square has the newer girls, Auri, Clari, Isa, Lizzy, Milti and Ymi sparring. Guided by blue robed Beyulongong disciples.
Yes, the North Jade Dragon Palace sect is here too.
“Stop dropping your elbow, my young apprentice.”
Including the too tall eunuch elf alchemist with the high pitched voice, Qinxin Methil Alre Heiris. Lurch. A core elder of the sect wearing blue and black robes.
Huh? Why are they here? Well I couldn’t spend the entire time fucking. So we’re using this time for more training like we did on the treasure ship. Spend the mornings sparring and meditating. Afternoons alchemy, uh, -ing with Lurch. Evenings dual-cultivating with the harem. And nights sleeping.
Yes, I’m actually getting decent sleep again.
Been pretty damn productive actually. Can feel myself closing in on the first heavenly tribulation and core formation realm. My ridiculous progress fueled by gallons of yin qi.
No. Elder Baiyu Jingi and her twin disciples Luo Ganyue and Xinyue have not shown their faces lately and may already be caravaning to the sect with the new recruits. Good riddance I say. Yes, I understand why they left us hanging out to dry during the dock ambush. That still doesn’t make it okay.
Was about to tell the dickless pill pusher where to stick what he doesn’t have when a servant runs in, blows right past me, and kowtows in front of Little Li.
"Imperial highness! Please forgive this lowly one's interruption." Poor guy looks like he's having a heart attack. "Imperial troops have entered the estate. Bringing a decree from the emperor!"
Oh? Good. Wondered when they would show up again. Since my invite was from the emperor and not the sect leader. Been expecting another batch of empire guys to show up. Hopefully I won't need to kill any of them this time.
*tach* *tach* *tach*
Through the courtyard's entrance marches a dozen armor boys. These are a bit fancier than the last batch. With golden lamellar from neck to knee. And a feathered helmet instead of plumed. Under the armor is a red long sleeved silk tunic with gold embroidery over black pants and felt boots.
Carrying poleaxes similar to the group we fought at the dock but again more elaborate. These dudes even have sheathed bows on their hips. Next to full quivers and sabers. All a bit shorter than me but their eyes are sharp. Hands steady. Ready to throw down.
Their leader in front has a similar getup. Just minus the lamellar armor and helm. And has a red headband tied on over long black hair done up in a ponytail plus a tight stubble beard.
Gotta admit the guy looks like a hero out of romancing the three kingdoms. Cool, calm, confident. And just like the servant he completely ignores me. Walking straight to Little Li before bowing and cupping his fist.
“Imperial highness Tiang Li Zexi, I bring greetings from your father.” One of his troops steps up and hands captain cool a rolled up scroll. “His imperial majesty also instructs you to return to the capital at once.”
Man, deep voice and a smooth smile? I hate him already.
My yanese princess accepts the paper and makes a show of reading it before rolling it back up again. Then handing it back to fancy pants.
“Thank you for traveling so far so quickly to bring me this request, renowned Royal Captain Yao Hua.” Captain cool’s smile falters a smidge when he hears the word, “request.” Then she regards him coldly. “We refuse.”
Sadly, fancy pants stays calm and collected. While the entire courtyard has paused to watch the show.
“Imperial princess, jade swan of the north, this humble servant must point out that this is not a request.” Bowing and cupping hands again. “It is a decree from your royal father.” Glances at the sect dudes and dudettes. “Compelling all citizens of Yangxu to enforce it.”
There’s the cannon fodder villain smirk. Asshole.
Sigh.
Guess its murdering tim-
A mickey mouse voice intercepts my about to be next killing spree.
“Junior, may I see it?”
Once again, Lurch’s fingernails on chalkboard pitch makes his victims shiver. It really does take some getting used too.
“Of course, Grandmaster Qinxin.”
Yao Hua hands the scroll to a subordinate who presents it to Lurch. Too tall also takes his time reviewing the document before rolling it back up. Returning it before bringing his hands together.
*clap*
“My old eyes see now.” Laboriously rises to his feet. “Beyulongong! A hundred points to the one who separates Captain Yao Hua’s head from his body! Begi-”
“Wait!”
Captain cool’s panicked scream freezes the dozen outer and inner sect disciples who were about to attack. Lurch’s angular elven features tilt and give the imperial guardsman a confused expression.
“Is there a problem, royal captain?”
The now not calm and collected fancy pants quickly walks over and bows in front of eunuch elf.
“S-senior. The imperial guard h-has no desire for conflict with the domain’s d-daoist defenders.” Yep, he’s sweating to the oldies. “W-we are merely following th-the emperor’s decree. My deepest apologies, Elder Qinzin, b-but sh-should you not be assisting instead?”
Uh oh, the elf has that damn shit eating grin again.
“Assisting? Esteemed royal captain, you must be confused.” Points at the scroll. “That decree is from the office of the emperor. Not his imperial majesty himself.” Fancy pants face turns sour. “It is also not countersigned by the sect leader.”
Damn, captain cool is heading straight for bitter beer face territory.
“I see.”
But Lurch ain't finished yet.
“And since Li’er is a member of the sect? It is this humble elder’s duty to defend her.” That smile almost reaches his ears. “Enjoy your trip back and do let that scheming sow know that there are many in the Beyulongong who will not tolerate her games.”
A humbled royal captain bows and cups hands again. “Yes, thank you, gracious and forgiving senior.” Before turning back to the princess. “Your imperial highness, may we speak privately?”
Now that’s not suspicious. Not one bit.
Little Li stands up and waits for me to nod before replying.
“Of course, honorable royal captain.”
A servant guides the pair out of the courtyard while I take a break. Sitting on a stool as maids eagerly strip off some of my robes and begin toweling me down. Washing me as another serves water to drink. I ignore everyone else as I watch the two through the shadows.
They are also still close enough for me to hear with [Super Senses].
The servant holds the door open before excusing herself and closing it behind her.
Captain cool stays by the door and looks around the room for a bit. Can feel he is probing with his qi. Probably for spies or scrying. But doesn’t seem to notice me. Finally, satisfied, he faces Tiang Li and smiles.
“Li’er, you have become even more beautiful.”
Little Li frowns back.
“We are hardly familiar enough, Captain Yao Fireblade Hua, to be so informal. Nor should we be.”
Fancy pants chuckles and sighs.
“We could be.” Sleazy and cheesy. “Your father would insist on sending servants and guards, no matter who you married.” Unbuckles his sword belt. “I could be there to… comfort you. Whenever you wish.”
Motherfuck-
“Are you planning to force yourself on me?” Slowly shakes her head. “Have you no face?”
The princess stands several paces away as the captain lays his sword on a table next to the door. Then pulls a small ornate bottle from his robe and sits it next to the sword. He notices her raised eyebrow.
“Ah, yes, forgive me. This respected guardsman is known for his skills in the bedroom as well.” Examines the half filled glass. “But your mother recommended I use this too. Says it works wonders for the, uh, resistant.”
"And mother approves?" Li looks skeptical.
He laughs again.
"Approves? Hardly, but the Lady of Bright Deportment feels you may be, well, confused." Pulls a medallion out from his robes and hangs it around his neck. "She wants to make sure you know there are always options. Some, more pleasant than others."
The medal has a big ruby in the middle and gives off a vibe I’ve felt before.
[Charm Magic]
The princess clicks her tongue.
"Tch. Options? What options?"
Yanese are a hell of a lot less formal in private.
Captain cool waves his hand around.
"Do you really believe your mother cannot put down a stray dog?" Pulls a piece of paper out of his robe and places it on the door behind him. "You would not want your, hehe, man hearing you scream my name.” A smug leer. “Or would you?”
I sense him push qi into the paper against the door and their voices suddenly become muffled.
Oh, that must be one of those talismans I hear about. Neat. Tweak the mana I’m pushing into my ears and their voices become clear again. Fancy pants is still yakking.
“...even if I cannot get to your lover? I can get to his.” Blackmail 101. “How will he feel when his other women start dying because of you?” Starts disrobing. “Now come along. We need to hurry this up before that fool gets suspicious.” Smirking again. “Do not worry, Li’er, you will thank me afterwards.”
See the barest step before princess stops herself.
“No.”
That catches captain cool off guard.
“What did you say?”
“We said, no.”
Fancy pants blinks a couple of times, surprised. Lifting the medallion and swinging it a little before letting it go.
“Bah… You are as stubborn as your sister.” Shakes his head and shrugs. “Well this rice is already cooked so back to the first plan.” Li reaches for a dagger under her dress. “Please, Li’er, you are but a second realm Qi Gatherer. I am a fifth realm Spirit Condenser. You have less than no chance against me.”
Little Li backs up a couple steps as Yao Hua approaches.
“We do not give our permission to touch us.”
The dagger is out now and shaking a little. Pointed at fancy pants but earning only a scoff in return.
“So stubborn. Come, your highness. You will like the mayor’s palace. Get a bedroom to ourselves and soon you will not even remember that barbarian’s nam-” Stops in mid reach and squints. “What is that?”
It is finally Li’s turn to smirk as she realizes he is staring at… her shadow.
“Oh…” Waves downward and swishes her green dress. “This?” Giggles. “It is a rare creature. Only found in deep dark places. Called a Living Shadow. Usually, a solitary hunter.”
A look of disgust from the captain.
“Tch. Necromancy.” Pulls another strip of paper out of his red robe. “Naturally, proper imperial guardsmen are ready for such things.”
Like with the talisman still attached to the door, I feel him push qi into this slip of paper.
*foosh*
Only for it to burst into flame. Disintegrating in his hand.
Hmm… Is that supposed to happen?
Fancy pants is staring and blinking again.
“Eh?”
Guess not.
Noticed Little Li was getting more and more nervous but hiding it as best she could. Now that nervousness vanishes and my proud princess smugly states.
“So even a respectable royal captain can be a frog in a well.”
Captain cool turns into sergeant sourpuss as you can about hear the gears turning in his head. He tentatively reaches once or twice more. Halting each time as the shadow reacts just as quickly. He’s starting to sweat again.
“Li, uh, your highness.” Tries to act in control again and speaks authoritatively. “Send it away.”
Only to be ignored by his victim-to-be.
“Do you know the biggest mistake mother, and so many others, keep making?”
Distracted, Yao Hua tries to focus on Li again.
“What?”
Wow, she rolled her eyes at him.
“Pay attention!” His eyes snap upward. “Mother is convinced my xingan is using us. Needs me more than we need him.” Head shakes. “But she is wrong. You all are.”
Fancy pants does not feel in control at all anymore. And knows failure is not something the Lady of Bright Deportment suffers. Time to change tactics.
“Princess Tiang Li, please, this humble servant only-”
Just to be ignored again.
“I am using him. I… we, need him.” Taps her chin with the dagger. “And no matter how kind? My junfei will not hesitate to throw us away. Discard us, if we disappoint.”
“Y-your highness, please-”
“Go, get out.” Waves dismissively. “Take your sword and your poison. Tell my mother…” A pause. “Tell her to stop. Before it's too late. Both my sister and I used all the goodwill we had to save uncle. We fear he has none left for us.”
The cool confident warrior that strolled into our courtyard is long gone. A now much meeker man hesitantly bows, picks up the blade and potion. Then turns and opens the door.
*ching* *ptshh*
Damn he’s quick. Deflecting Sanctity with an armguard hidden under his sleeve. But fails to stop Tormentor with his left, carrying the potion and scabbard, as it plunges into his chest. Right through his heart.
*cough*
Some blood comes out his mouth as he blinks even more. Must be shocked again. You know, if I was going to let him live I would name him Blinkey. Drops his stuff and weakly grabs at the black and red infernal weapon that’s shot through his heart. Grin as I introduce myself.
“Hi, I’m Jon. Today’s death was brought to you by the letters F and U. Plus a privacy talisman that apparently works both ways. You rapey douchebag.”
Look over his shoulder to see Little Li already kowtowing. Guess we’re long overdue for a talk about exactly what the fuck she’s scheming. Focus back on the asshole impaled on my demon blade. Whose eyes seem to plead for mercy that I’m plum out of.
“Don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of time to see the error of your ways.”
“[Shadow Rise]”
“Aiyeeeyahh!”