Chapter 46: Isekaibots! Roll Out!
---D-Day+108, Dherus 15th, Saturday Morning---
---Lions Keep, Grand Suite---
"Dear old hairy bastard."
Not in a great mood right now.
I'm sitting behind an imposing desk in my office space under the loft, dictating a letter. Clari, Lili’s daughter, is writing it. She would "normally" be taking advantage of study day but it's getting "tense" for her too.
Everyone associated with me is catching flak. Nothing easy I can act on like duel challenges either.
Nope, it's the immature teens level shit like friends turning on you, whispers behind your back, and being socially ostracized. Dozens of little things which let a child know they're no longer "welcome."
As a parent, I know how much being on the outs can change a child's life. Suddenly, no longer happy when you're taking them to school. And instead of friends waiting? They get out of the car and go sit by themselves.
Rips you up inside and it's so hard to drag the truth out of them. Even harder to get the school to actually do something. Oh they love to talk about bullying. Talk and talk and talk.
Getting them to actually DO any fucking thing!
…
Whoa, shit, sorry, one of mine ended up having that happen and they didn't even get why. Stand up to the class queen one time? Marked with the black spot for years after.
Kids can be very cruel.
And Clari is my adopted daughter. Sort of. Also my sister. Kind of. It's complicated since she's a concubine's child but not mine. I really don't get it and Lili’s tried explaining it a few times.
Guess, technically, I'm already an isekai daddy. And an isekai brother.
So with things getting "uncomfortable?"
Mommy, Lili, is having her help around the house more. Like a secretary in training.
"Things are going to hell in a handbasket here." Take a drag on my cigar. "This was supposed to be my training montage. Not a shitty episode of Isekai Hills 90210."
Pause to gather my thoughts. Hear Sis scribbling away in the background. Using bird mail for this so it can't be too wordy. Just gotta remember to keep things respectful.
"Listen up, douchebag, this deal is getting worse all the time. And I-"
[Butler Magic]
"My Lord."
In less time than it takes to blink. There is a very dignified looking old sebastian type butler standing at attention beside my desk.
He rarely ever interrupts me so this must be important. Swig of whiskey before I reply.
"Not-sebastian?"
Of course he's got a name. I'm just not good with names. Easier to just give them one I can remember.
"A lord of House Lianlaf, Baron Frederin Lianlaf, is approaching Lions Keep." A stately bow. "Seneschal Mauger requests your presence at the bastion's entrance to greet your relative."
Weird. Have not heard anything from grizzly or monocle about this. A trap? Maybe?
Hmm…
Welp, won't know till I know.
"I'll be down soon."
"Yes Lord."
[Butler Magic]
And he's gone.
"Alright Sis. What you got?"
Clari places a fair skinned hand on her throat and clears it.
*ahem*
Next she fingers some of her short straight black hair out of the way of her blue eyes and looks at the page on the board in her hands.
"Dear Lord Marshal and Marquis of Vaegia." Squints a little. "I have encountered unexpected difficulties receiving your proposal's benefits." Brushes hair again. "Therefore, I have understandable concerns regarding your ability to complete our agreement."
Looks up at me.
"That's all I have," blush, "daddy."
…
I don't know. Sounds a bit… off.
Fuck it, who cares. Let's get meeting this aristobrat over with.
*fwop*
Push my chair back and slip out of Lula’s mouth with an audible, pop. Green eyes find mine through her curly black hair as that oval face shows the cutest pout.
I boop her nose.
"Thank you, but it's time to go."
She nods and quickly crawls out from under the desk. Then helps Clari get my pants straight and tied up again. Beyond them, passed the bookshelves, I hear a flurry of activity.
Walking around the corner sees my guards lining up and harem scrambling to get ready. Living shadows, armored skellies, and naughty knights are naturally already, uh, ready.
My haremites though? Most were dressed, keeping themselves busy, but a few were in the baths. So it's a rush to get them clothed and touch up everyone's looks. The maidettes, and each other, helping out.
Yeah, I'm waiting, but don't mind. After all, they "wait" on me whenever, wherever, and however I want. Only fair to try and do the same for them.
Not even half an hour later? We are ready to go. The harem convoy heads out the main south door and down the holy shit so many stairs.
Exiting at the fourth floor to take the "grand" stairs that go from the hall to the keep’s western entrance on the second floor.
Hehe, there is now wood covering up the caspar the dumbfuck ghost sized hole in one of the stained glass windows.
Oh, yeah, he lived! Pretty fucked up though. Still within the ability of local healers to handle, unfortunately.
Come out the large open double door entryway and cross the covered bridge to the one flight of stairs connecting it to the ground on the other side of the moat.
Huh. This fucker's getting a bigger welcome than I did. Must be two dozen Black Harts lined up. Some mounted. Some flag bearers. All kitted out in their parade best. Yep, starting to feel insulted here.
All I got was the staff welcome. Oh, and the plot to take Red away and torture me.
I've been jipped!
He better get at least an assassination attempt or I'm demanding a refund.
Got to the stairs just in time as several wagons and a mounted escort came through the inner wall's south gates.
My entourage quickly sorts themselves out and lines up on the steps.
Wagons are fancy and escorts look like Black Harts but they're all dusty. Some look damaged too.
Is that a sling on the arm of that knight? Huh. Maybe I won't be needing a refund after all.
Pages run out as soon as the carriages stop in front of us.
Dusty, chipped, slashes, wounds on some horses and riders. [Super Senses] tells me some are pretty old too. These guys have been on the road for a while?
Stepping out of the first coach is an older man dressed in Lianlaf black and green. Clothes are not fantasy modern though. More like… renaissance?
A black overcoat reaches down to his knees and elbows. With some green scarf around his shoulders that hangs down to his knees too.
White poofy shirt and black pants with leather boots complete the ensemble. Lots of silver buttons, buckles, and chains. Decent longsword on his hip too.
He first helps out an older, and then younger woman. Both wear blouse dress combos. The older in black and green. The younger in white. Gold and silver jewelry adorns them.
The family resemblance makes it clear the younger is the daughter. And she's cute. But nothing worth building a large wooden rabbit for knights to jump out of.
Others, probably servants, debark but those three appear to be the only nobles.
Trying to remember the etiquette for this, but I don't. So let's wing it.
"Welcome to Lions Keep!"
Which gets me flabbergasted stares. Shit, was he supposed to go first? Was I supposed to kiss a baby? Ugh, so many rules.
The visitor cracks a smile and bows. His beard is much better cared for than grizzly's. And thicker than my nonexistent one. I hate him already.
"Salutations, Viscount Barton. We have heard so much about you." Uhoh. "Please permit me to introduce my wife and daughter. Baroness Betrice Lianlaf and Lady Aurai Lianlaf."
Both of the women curtsy.
"Noticed your wagons are a bit worse for wear." Point behind him. "Long trip?"
He's still smiling.
"Indeed, cousin. We departed nearly a month ago." A month? "Goblins, bandits, even a troll or two." Hands on his hips. "Arriving at last is a great relief."
Arriving?
"Sorry but, no one told us you were coming."
Raises his hand.
"Ah! My apologies. Count Werclair bid our journey be clandestine." Monocle sent them? "There is much to discuss. May we and your subordinates speak more privately?"
"Uh, okay." Turn to new old seneschal. "Have someone help settle them in." Look at chamberpot. "Lead the way."
He's confused.
"Where to, my lord?"
Hmm…
"Let's do that room in the big tower."
My chamberlain bows, turns, and heads up the steps then across the bridge. There are lots of rooms you can meet in around here. But only a few nice ones that aren't too public. And I'm thinking of one on the fifth floor in the north tower.
Baron Frederick? Frederico? Ferrari? Whatever. Baron Fred walks with me behind chamberpot. Glancing back to see my dozen plus harem following. Raising an eyebrow he asks.
"Lord Jon, how many have you married?"
"Eh? Oh, uh, seven. The rest are mistresses." Notice Lizzy in the back. "Though a couple I haven't fucked yet."
Both eyebrows climb.
"Bravo, sire." Barely hear him mumble afterwards. "Poor Auri, you have quite the struggle ahead."
?
My chamberlain leads us up the large stairs to the fourth floor. Where we then head up to the fifth floor balcony and down it to the north tower. The first double doors expose the long curving stairway that climbs inside the wall.
Across the landing, guards open the second set of doors. Opening what I call the "little" throne room. A circular room with a ring of chairs along the wall. And some nice peaked windows, artistically stained to display scenes from Saint Sanriel's legend.
Out of habit, meet here once a week with the staff. I sit in the big boy chair opposite the door. As Frankie with Tormentor and Red with Sanctity stand on both sides. Flanking me.
The rest of my wives and concubines line up behind them. While my mistresses flank the entrance. The castle’s staff take their usual seats, leaving only a couple open. Fred checks my way and, after a nod, plants his keister in one of them.
He has a manservant who stands beside him. Tough looking bodyguard type bastard too with some visible plate on. Bastard’s got three axes on him. A big two handed one slung across his back and smaller ones on each hip.
"Well, we're here Baron. What's the word?"
From his reaction I guess I'm screwing up the etiquette, again, but he quickly recovers.
"Is the chamber silenced?"
Frankie lifts up her hand and whispers an incantation while a spinning magic circle forms in front of her fingers.
"[Cone of Silence]"
Yeah, I cracked up the first time I heard the name too.
She leans over and licks my ear.
"It is now, master."
Fred overhears, nods, and begins his tale.
"Over a month ago, the Count visited my estate. We spoke at length about the Marquis and his concerns." Leans back. "After certain negotiations, I left my estate to my eldest son and journeyed west, with my wife and youngest daughter."
"Why?"
The Baron reaches into his coat and pulls out an old timey looking letter. Can see a seal holding the folded paper closed.
"Before we continue, the count asked that you read this."
A knight is handed the letter. He carries it over and, after multiple inspections, the pages are passed to me. I crack the stamped wax showing a hart rampant. Unleashing a small burst of distinct mana.
Neat.
Open the pages and read. Again impressed with how thick isekai paper can be.
'Lord Barton, I must apologize for such an indirect correspondence. Yet with deteriorating conditions across the kingdom. Winged delivery is no longer safe nor reliable.'
Damn, his penmanship is so good it makes my chicken scratch look like, well, chicken scratch.
'The Lord Marshal is under pressure from the Royal family and Metian church to annul your adoption. Reports from Stormgarde are also troubling. I believe that institution is no longer safe nor suitable.'
No shit Sherlock. Wait, he wrote this over a month ago. What's he been hearing?
‘The Lord Marshal understands the trials you are enduring. So he offers refuge in Vaegia. However, given the distance? He understands if you choose a different destination.’
Well ain’t that a bitch.
‘Baron Frederin Lianlaf is a long time ally of the Lord Marshal. Though he is from a branch family you may consider him trustworthy. As far as anyone can be in these unstable times.’
Is that a good or bad thing?
'Lord Frederin has accepted becoming the new Lord of Lions Keep. He hopes you will look favorably on his youngest daughter. A mage child would be a great boon to his family's fortunes.'
Sigh.
'His line belongs to a branch family. So as a member of the main family you are senior. Both in rank and blood. This is to ensure Lianlaf rule remains unbroken. Once your path moves beyond Stormgarde.'
Huh. He really is clever.
‘If we do not meet again? I feel the need to apologize again. This time for the treatment you have received. Not all deserve your wrath. Not all have earned it. Please remember such when your march begins.’
What the hell are you talking about?
‘Your friend, Lord Petrus Werclair, Count of Cragspire’
…
I just sit there. Thinking.
…
Fuck!
I've got kids on the way. Need to find the divine daddio’s tomb. Go to this stupid school to git gud. Instead? Feel like the rug's been pulled out from under me.
Sigh.
"Out."
New old seneschal isn't the only one confused.
"L-lord Barton?"
But I am not a happy camper.
"Chamberlain, get the new Lord of Lions Keep and his family quarters on the sixth floor." My voice sounds cold to me. Dead. "Seneschal, today is my last day as your lord. Beginning tomorrow, the Baron will be your lord."
The old guy stutters to reply.
"Y-yes m-my lord."
But I'm not done.
"As the senior Lianlaf here I will keep staying in the Grand Suite. And I'll still use some of the facilities." Point to Fred. "If there's a problem? Take it to him."
Even the air in here feels heavy right now.
Quite a few are giving me worried looks. Red is the first to speak. Resting her hand on my shoulder.
"J-jon?"
Reach up and hold her hand. Feel its warmth. No, I didn't want to be in charge. Was used to it though. Even counting on it. Now? Ugh. Hindsights 20/20 and all that.
"I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys. So, unless you are one of my women? Or dead?" Mana builds. "Get. Out."
My voice ripples through the room and even the naughty knights retreat. Fred and the others at least bow first, but then bail too. In just a minute or two, the fifty plus "living" occupants are down to a dozen plus.
Yeah, I'm brooding. Fuck you too.
…
Welp, guess that's it then.
“Everyone?” Motion for them to gather in front of me. Continue once they do. “I'm leaving. Each of you needs to decide if you are coming with me or not.” Sigh. “It may be years before I come back. If ever.”
Look each in the eye before continuing.
“If you choose to stay? Lili will prepare some compensation. If you choose to leave? Understand there will be no turning back.” Nods from many. Some, reluctantly. “Even those who stay should at least leave the region. My enemies may panic when they discover I’m bailing.”
How you like them apples, Tharick. Frosty’s pregnancy was one of my reasons for staying. And you driving her out makes it that much easier for me to walk away.
Turn to my knight-wife.
“Red?”
“Yes Jon?”
“Coordinate with Frankie and Lili. Make sure our friends know what’s happening.” Nod in Lizzy’s direction. “They’ve got a week, tops, to get the hell out of dodge.”
Most aren’t that close, so should be fine. Others though? Like Lizzy and Milti? Could see random douchebags taking their frustrations out on them. Once I’m gone that is.
Could just level Stormgarde too but monocle’s right. Most of the kids there are innocent in this. Shouldn’t ruin their future because of some assholes. Hell, don’t even know who most of those assholes are.
As I stew, my harem discusses and debates. One of them, however, seems to have already decided. I watch her step forward and kowtow.
“Mila.”
“Master I, Miyula of the Jodu, ask to remain behind.”
“Why?”
She kneels up and looks at me with those big light blue eyes. Her ears twitch. Something they do when she’s nervous.
“Th-the children of the Jodu have made a home here. Lions Keep is now their future.” Glances at Hitomi. “A-and I have already l-lost.” Rises a little more. “Lady Emelina says our deal is over.”
“What do you mean?”
“The L-lady told me she no longer cares about who is your sword.” Looks down. “That she has a part of you for herself now.” Ah, yeah, the dude.
“What will you do?”
Panther-girl glances at another woman in my harem. A dwarf. Duri.
“I… I have been offered a position with the Redbrands, master.” See her gathering her courage. “Fo-forgive m-me master but I… I do… do not l-love you!” And she’s kowtowing again.
…
“Okay.”
Mila looks stunned.
“Eh?”
“Hehe. Did you think I was going to be mad?” The beastkin nods as I shake my head. “Mila mila mila. I’m sure many of my women don’t love me.” Chest tightens. “But you still gave yourself willingly. Just as you sought to protect me. That loyalty should be rewarded.”
Mila’s head rubs along the floor. Can see she’s crying.
“After we leave, we will go to the clinic. Replacing that lost arm of yours is long overdue.”
Mila bawls more and mumbles praise and gratitude over and over again. Back among the crowd, Duri gives me a thumbs up and blows me a kiss.
Taby and Nevi, two other members of Redbrand, come forward and help the now over-emotional panther-girl get up and move to the back.
As Mila withdraws, Little Li steps forward? Now that’s unexpected.
“Princess?”
She bows down.
“Xingan, may I make an offer?”
“Hehe, let me guess, move to Yangxu?”
Surprisingly she shakes her head no.
“More, my love. Imperial father and the sect, Beyulongon, are impressed. They ask you to take the trials. Imperial father will provide an estate, staff, and allowance.” Places a hand over her heart. “If you do well, you will be accepted as an inner disciple and your estate will be within the sect!”
Uh, guess that’s a good thing with how excited she got at the end there.
But that doesn’t mean it's the right deal for us.
“And how are we going to get there?”
Smiles in reply. Like she’s already closed the sale.
“Imperial father has dispatched one of his treasure ships. It waits by Raelera and is conducting trade with Tourin and Granya.” Bows low. “As soon as you arrive, they will depart. There is even a sect escort prepared.”
Hmm… You know? From what I recall? The books made the sects seem a lot more relaxed than regular schools. Mission boards, contribution points, libraries, etc…
“Red, Frankie, Lili? Thoughts?”
Red is busy giving orders to the skellies and shadows, so Frankie speaks.
“Master, the only refuge we will find is Vaegia and perhaps Thurl. Even Granya can not be trusted since that sentinel’s execution.” Bows low. “Forgive us, master, but with your retinue’s size?” Shakes her head. “Hiding will be nearly impossible.”
Yeah, and too many non-combatants like Lula to fight our way through.
Lili speaks next.
“Your wealth will also be difficult to transport, my lord.” Moves up next to Frankie. “Merchant guild promissory notes will be honored much more easily in Luyan ports.”
“Luyan?”
“Forgive me, my lord.” Lili bows. “Luyan is what the region the yanese claim is called. Yangxu is just one state among many there.”
Little Li looks like she wants to say something but then decides to keep her mouth shut.
Red finishes and walks back over.
“Husband, the future of House Barton will be difficult. No matter what choice you make. If we reach the Vaegian March we will still be surrounded.” Holds her belly. “Demons to the east. Rival houses to the south and west. Marauders to the north.”
That sounds unpleasant.
“And the senior adventurers demanding healing will not stop, Jon. Thurl may be even worse given the dwarves' greed.” Glance Duri’s way. Answers with a shrug then a nod. “At least Yangxu will put an ocean in their way.”
Was expecting reasons not to go. Instead? Sounds like I’m even more cornered than I thought I was.
What the hell. Wasn’t a fan of this Hogwarts knockoff anyway. Would much rather be a Kung Fu Panda than Harry Potter.
Skadoosh…
“Okay, Little Li, you win-”
"Yes!"
The younger sister interrupts me with a hop and fist pump.
…
Realizing what she just did, Li Zexi's face turns tomato red and hides behind her laughing older sister.
Several girls join in and it helps lighten the gloomy mood. Not fun to find out that you’re not only being driven from your home? But also the entire continent.
Gotta get stronger, fast, or this will happen again. Fortunately, dual-cultivation includes my favorite things. Just need to “cultivate” as much as possible with as many women as possible.
It’ll be tough, but it's a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
“Alright then, we have a destination. Now we just-”
*thoom* *thoom* *thoom*
Ugh. Stop interrupting me!
One of the ladies opens the door and Mel comes toppling in. No, she wasn’t here. Been keeping a low profile and a mystery noble showing up out of the blue?
Yeah, she stayed upstairs.
But now? Looks like she decided to run a marathon instead.
“Jon? Jon?!”
Run over and pick up my overheating milf in a princess carry.
“Mel! What happened?”
A shaking hand lifts. Holding a small scroll. Must have come in by bird mail while we were meeting.
“It's Reginald, Jon, they are after Reginald! Please, save him, he’s one of the few friends I have left!”
Red walks up and takes the scroll out of Mel’s hand. While she breaks down and bawls into my chest. After reading for a bit my knight-wife looks up at me.
“This makes no sense.”
“And?”
My lady general shakes herself out of her daze.
“Oh, Jon, uh, sorry.” She starts pulling on an ear. That’s her, I’m thinking, tell. “House Bonnege. Loyal retainers of the Chastels for generations. Reginald is the house head and a Baron.”
“Who’s attacking him?”
Knight-wife lifts the scroll while Mel turns my shirt into a soggy mess.
“According to this, it is Lord Geffroi with five thousand mercenaries and the Baron is already besieged.” Waves the scroll. “This is a plea for help. They do not expect to survive the week.”
I look down at my distraught mommy ex-duke.
“Is there anything we can do?”
Red’s tugging on her ear again.
“With the undead and golems?” Starts nodding to herself as much as me. “Yes, Jon, I believe there is.”
Turn to my ladies and put Mel down. Leaning her against her worried daughter, Blue.
“Make up your minds and get ready to leave.”
Turn back to Red.
“Let’s ride.”