Chapter 43: Say Uncle
---D-Day+100, Dherus 7th, Saturday Morning---
---Lions Keep, Grand Suite---
“LI ZEXI TIANG!”
Hey, look, it's a flying du-
“Uncle?”
-oh shit.
*CRASH*
*record scratch*
Bet you’re wondering how I got here, aren’t ya. Huh? You’re not?
…
Well, yeah, this is sort of kind of maybe my own fault. Mom did say to stay away from strange ladies. But this is fantasy land. They're all strange here. And you know, my dick does some of my best thinking.
See? So this ain’t really all my faul-
…
Okay, I get it. Think with something besides my dick. Fine. But I haven't jacked off in months, so my right hand isn't talking to me anymore. Okay, okay, I'll use my brain. Happy now?
Geesh, for imaginary people you guys are harsh.
Now, the morning started pleasantly enough. Big Ji has finally been showing me and the haremettes other cultivation arts. So the girls are able to level up, without stinking up, sexy-time. But not during sexy-time. Which means I’ve mostly stalled.
Can only dual-cultivate with the princess sisters until more girls break through to Juqi Dazung, the Gathering Qi level. And though I’ve added the other techniques to my sessions in Room 152? That’s not even an eight-hour a day, six days an eight-week.
Plus, after experiencing shuangxiu? Normal cultivation, xiuxing, in comparison, feels like masturbating. Still fun, but lacking.
So now I’m only dual-cultivating with Big Ji, Little Li… and Hitomi. Yes, JK girl broke through not long after me. Which has Frankie feeling a bit competitive again.
Sigh…
Really can’t complain though. Body refining does fucking wonders for your, well, body. My milf Lili? Who’s next after Frankie in cultivating progress? Looks years younger. Saggy bits are getting perky again.
Oh, momma. Come to poppa.
*ahem*
Yep, this slow Saturday morning is perfect. My harem’s spread across the Grand Suite. Some in the baths. Some upstairs getting dressed. Some eating breakfast. Some cooking breakfast. And lazy, more like sore, butt Lula is, of course, asleep again.
Oh, forgot, a few haremites have started cooking for me. Say they feel closer to me when I eat their cooking.
What about me? Well I'm sitting on a loveseat facing the huge western window. Looking over Stormgarde and the ocean beyond. Seeing the lighthouse shutdown for the day and hearing the morning bells from Saint Sanriel Church.
The clear dark night sky is fading, as the sun approaches from behind me on the eastern horizon. Gorgeous, even if I’m not really paying attention.
*pant* *shlick* *chu* *shlurp* *fwop* *fwop* *pant*
“Aah! Ung! Oh! Hi! Uuh! Mo-more! Xingaannng!”
Not paying attention because Little Li is “cultivating” with me. Riding cowgirl and loving every minute of it.
Her young hourglass figure’s glistening jade white skin springs up and down my cock like a slinky. Rubbing every spot of her quivering red honey pot. Close set c-cup breasts with rosy rock hard nipples rub against my chest. While peach lips and a pink tongue passionately mingle with mine.
Yeah, I’m feeling it too. Enlightening and intimidating when a woman really opens herself to you. Throws away her doubts and fears. Drops all defenses, reservations, and gives herself completely to you.
It's like a lewd state of zen. Porn nirvana. Words feel inadequate to truly describe the sensation.
Connecting with women physically and spiritually during sex? Is my hidden cheat. I make love to them on the material and astral planes, simultaneously. Shuangxiu? Raises all that to the next level.
Fucking mind blowing.
Call me a selfish asshole, but I’ve been, uh, "squeezing" extra cultivating in whenever and wherever I can. About has my three mouseketeers plumb worn out. This gets any worse? I’ll cast [Kiss of Ashtart] on everybody. Give all them ladies, babies.
At that point? Might as well become catholic1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk.
My hands dig into Little Li’s cheeks and start picking up the pace. Faster, faster, deeper, deeper. This will be my third shot and I lost count of how many times she’s come.
Can actually sense her dantian trembling in anticipation. Here I com-
“LI ZEXI TIANG!”
What the fuck?! Why is there an old guy floating outside the wind-
“Uncle?”
-oh shit.
“Gongzhi Li!”
“Shushu!!!”
In a heartbeat, my little china girl transforms from tiger to mouse. Swear I hear her squeak as she leaps off me and desperately tries to cover herself. First with her hands and then with the bathrobe she, just an hour earlier, had seductively let drop to the floor while standing in front of me.
As Li scrambles to protect her long gone modesty. “Uncle” floats up to the enormous window.
Get a good look at the old guy. By his face I would guess… Sixties? Maybe seventies? He’s sporting the robe I expect to see from dozens of wuxia and xianxia comics and books. Except he’s showing off some chest too.
Jesus, this guy is ripped.
Long loose white hair and a short neatly trimmed white beard cover well tanned skin. Even the chest hair he’s showing off is white. Know it's windy out but his hair and robes are rippling. Though that’s probably from the mana, oops, I mean qi, boiling off him right now.
Black eyes, I think. Maybe brown. And the geezer looks outright furious. Glaring at Little Li.
“Shuangxiun? Yu ye man ren?!”
The last half was said while pointing at me. Don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that it wasn’t a compliment.
Chinese princess is sitting next to me with her head down, covering herself with the robe, and trembling. Looking completely mortified. So embarrassed that she can’t even think of putting the bathrobe on.
“Xiao Li-”
*zap*
Gramps retracts his hand from the glass after he gets an electric shock.
Ha! How you like them apples? This place has protective wards, asshole.
Uncle finally turns to look at me, squints, then gets the biggest villainous grin on his face.
Oh? Don’t even think about it, buster.
*zzzzzz*
Grandpa cultivator rests his right hand back on the glass, palm flat, still staring at me. Sparks arc across his fingers as the ward does its best to punish this intruder. But that grinning son of a bitch doesn’t even get tickled.
*vrrrrrrmmmmm…*
Feel the air vibrating and the ambient mana spike. [Super Senses] shows me whitey is pumping a shitload of mana through his body.
*skryk* *skrak* *CRASH*
The giant two story tall window explodes into hundreds pieces as does the ward protecting the Grand Suite. All that razer edged glass plummets towards me.
*ting*
Then stops, frozen in mid-air.
“My lord, you have a guest.” Not-sebastian? “And he is quite insistent. Shall I see if you have any openings?”
Mister most awesome of Butler dudes has appeared behind the loveseat. His left hand up with fingers spread, a red multi-ring magic circle glowing and spinning in front of them.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll see him now. Thank you.”
Nod to my butler and he bows in return.
*kish* *krak* *kring*
All the glass shards begin moving again. Sliding down an invisible wall. Piling up at the bottom of the ex-window.
That smug smile disappears from grandpa’s face and his eyes narrow. Taking a long hard look at not-sebastian.
I wave at whitey.
“Hey! You! Get over here!”
Geezer looks at me again and raises an eyebrow. After a few moments he smirks, then floats down to land lightly inside my ex-awesome window. Gives me the barest of bows before speaking.
“Greetings, manren. I, am Tiang Feng Ju. Danglao of the Beyulongong. We must have words regarding my nihao.”
“Nihao?”
“My, uh, niece.”
“Niece?”
Can feel him starting to boil. Love being a douche to people faking manners.
“Her!” Points at Little Li. “I will speak to you about her!”
“Oh… Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place. Could have avoided the bit where you broke my FUCKING WINDOW!”
Gramps crosses his arms and looks down his nose at me.
“Be warned, barbarian. I am Yuanying Huoqi. The dao has led me far above mortal concerns.”
“Like a girl getting her cherry popped.”
“Yes, like, wait, no. Uh. Cease your trickery!”
Feel mana building across the Grand Suite. My ladies are ready to throw down. But do I really want to fight here? With Red, Frosty, and Lula pregnant?
Red and Frosty may be okay but Lula’s got nothing. Total civie. Need to move. Get some space. I stand and look at whitey.
“Fine, let's go someplace less, crowded. [Umbrarmatus]”
The old cultivator steps back as my body is covered in ink that shapes itself into black plate armor covering me from head to toe. Also summon a dark charger which materializes next to me. Mount up and turn to face the scattered harem.
“I’ll be back.” Face gramps. “Do try to keep up. Heeyah!”
The undead steed leaps through the open window and runs down the side of the keep as easily as it first crossed Colrac’s walls.
Damn that feels so long ago.
Can sense the chinese cultivator following behind me. His hostility burning like a beacon to my mind’s eye.
Also see a foriegn looking ship off the coast on my way down, but don’t have the time to examine it.
With my living impaired horse’s speed, it doesn’t take long to put Lions Keep a ways behind us. Will my minions to lock down the castle. Since I have no idea if whitey came alone or not.
“Whoa…”
Slide to a stop in a little valley and release the dark charger back to my mindscape.
“Admire your courage, savage. But don’t think it will save you from judgement.”
Whitey floats down and lands a few feet from me. There’s a sword on his hip. One of those classic chinese jian ones. Sheath and hilt decked out in various shades of white like the rest of grandpa’s outfit.
A creek bubbles nearby and a steady wind rustles the trees. The nearby ocean adds a saltiness to the earthy smells. Dew still covers everything as the sun finally peaks above the eastern hills.
Animals scatter and hide as if they can sense the confrontation to come.
…
Guess grampa was waiting for me to speak because he finally crosses his arms and clicks his tongue in frustration.
“Tch… Bendan. Sigh. Manren. What are your intentions towards my Xiao Li?”
Well, duh.
“Fuck her.”
Everything goes still. The wind and trees quit moving. Swear even the creek stops trickling. Holding its breath in fear.
“Shenme?”
Old guy blinks a few times. Like he can’t quite believe what he just heard.
“Eh? No habla inglés?”
His left eyebrow begins twitching.
“I said, what.” Hear his teeth grind. “I mean, uh, what did you say?”
My harumph sounds a bit hollow through the helmet.
“Geesh, clean your ears, gramps. I said, fuck, her. My intentions are to shove my cock in and stir-”
*BOOM*
Tree, rock, tree, tree, dirt, water, tree, rock.
*crunch*
“...ow…”
*cough* *cough* *ptuh*
Spit out blood as my brain catches up with what just happened. I got hit. Hard. Ending up a good couple hundred feet from where I was just a few seconds ago.
Damn, if I hadn’t already gone war machine mode? Might have gone splat, right then and there. Instead? My face got a tour of the local scenery.
*tach* *tach* *tach*
Look up from where I’m sprawled to see whitey walking towards me. All hulked up. His hair and robes are doing the blowing rippling thing again but there’s no wind. Dude’s eyes look on fire.
“Thank you, manren. Was going to settle for merely castrating you. Now I realize that will not be enough payment for what you have taken.” Flexes his hands. “Shall not sully my blade with wildling blood. Fists will do for a huaidan like you.”
*woosh*
Like a runaway locomotive, a knuckle sandwich hurtles towards my eyes. I barely manage to dodge to the side and twist into an uppercut.
*BAM*
Can see the shock in his eyes as he flips end over end, backwards, and blood sprays out of gramp's mouth this time.
*spit*
“You wanna play rough, old man? Okay. Say hello to my little friends.”
Grandpa’s already bringing a flying punch back my way when ink and smoke blasts out of me. Dozens of living shadows form and slam into the charging daoist. Dragging him to the ground.
Claws and blades made up of the stuff of nightmares rip, stab, and tear at him.
“Release me spiri-”
*POW*
Being distracted by my servants lets me get another good shot in. Blood flies again but I notice a problem. The only things being really damaged? Are his robes.
Geezer’s skin is tough. Really tough. At best my shadows are just leaving scratches. Even Rowl’s swords can’t pierce this bastard’s steel like hide.
Guess we’ll have to do this the old fashion way then.
A dark tempest erupts with the old cultivator at its center. Waves of smoke and ink batter the rock of gramps from every direction. A lone lighthouse amidst a raging sea.
*BASH* *JAB* *PUMMEL* *CROSS* *SLAM* *CRUNCH* *HOOK* *SMASH* *UPPERCUT*
While half the shadows keep his limbs restrained. The other half, and me, hammer him with everything we’ve got. Blood flies, bruises swell, bones crack, and whitey’s body bends and contorts from hundreds of impacts.
But? He’s not going down.
Worse, he doesn’t even appear to be in pain.
This is bad, we might be fu-
“GULA!”
Blinding light bursts from gramps. Sending my shadows, and me, flying away in all directions. My mindscape fills as the technique dispels most of my summons.
“[YULONG GE]”
On top of being blinded, a great weight presses down on me. Like someone dropped a mountain out of the sky. Even my mana turns slow, sluggish, suppressed.
“Ugh!”
Shit shit, gotta move befor-
“[Liuxing Ji Yulong]”
*BOOM*
Rock, tree, hill, dirt, rock, rock, tree.
*crunch*
Again?
*cough* *ptuh* *cough* *cough*
Things are a bit blurry now but my eyes spot a very smug looking blob heading my way.
“Congratulations, manren. Decades it has been, since I last used my lingyu. But it seems this is all you can do. Your xiadu.”
*ving*
Blinking my eyes a few times helps me see clearly enough to tell he’s drawn his sword.
That’s probably a bad sign.
*grab* *lift*
A vice-like grip wraps around my neck and lifts me up. I’m dangling, hanging a foot off the ground. Christ, he’s pretty tall.
A breeze? Fuck, I’m naked again. Well, never wanted my best dressed day in a casket.
“Any last words?”
*ptuh* *cough*
A glob of snot, blood, and saliva lands on gramp’s face. My vision gets dark along the edges and it's harder and harder to breathe. Is he gonna stab me or choke me?
*twitch*
Oh, there goes that eyebrow again. Nervous tick perhaps? You know, decapitating yourself could take care of that.
Damn. I could be doing major psychological damage right now, if I could speak.
Think I’m finally coming home son. See you soo-
*shulch*
“Surprise, motherfucker.”
Hitomi?
*BANG*
Dirt grinds into my hard to reach places after I’m flung, rolling across the ground. See JK girl flying another direction after getting a piledriver like elbow from whitey.
Don’t know how she appeared on his back like that but good going japanese highschool girl!
Hope she’s not dead.
*blegh*
Move my peepers over to gramps who is busy. Bent over and throwing up black goop. He’s dropped his chinese sword and is using that hand to drag Hitomi’s blade out of his back instead.
The weight making my mana sluggish disappears like it was never there.
Don’t know how she managed to pierce that geezer’s skin with her ninja looking short sword, but given how pale he now looks? Bet it was covered in poison.
*blegh*
*ting* *ching*
More vomiting as he finally gets the pigsticker out and tosses it to the side.
My eyes wander and see that this once peaceful environment? Now looks like the aftermath of a Dragonball Z fight. Shattered trees. Broken boulders. Caved hills. There is even a freshly dug trench thanks to yours truly.
Hear mister cultivator grumbling.
“Cuowu. Zheli yo hendu cuwu.”
A tickle in the back of my brain brings a smile to my face and I start laughing.
“Hehe. Haha! HAHAHA!”
Gramps seems a lot worse for wear. Tanned skin turned pale with his white beard now stained with black bile. He scowls at me with utter loathing.
“Manren. Why are you laughing? You are still going to die here.”
Spit out another glob of blood and give him my best smirk.
“Because I know something you don’t know.”
Whitey scoffs.
“Shenme?”
Give the douchebag my best shit eating grin.
“I've got a dragon.”
A black and purple streak comes down from above like an extinction event meteor strike. Adding a crater to the already much abused terrain with grandpa at the bottom of it. The impact bounces me around like a ping pong ball.
*STOMP* *CRUNCH* *STOMP* *HOP* *HOP*
My shadow dragon, Frazur, landed on gramps, feet first, at full speed. Now he’s stomping on the asshole. Even hopping. Like the old guy is his personal trampoline.
The smartass ex-reptile can adjust his size and weight, a lot. And the version he’s using this time is over a hundred feet long. The old cultivator looks like an ant in comparison.
After an extra few stomps for good measure, Frazur stops playing flatten the daoist and rises up on two hind legs. Spreading his wings wide. Purple fire blossoms in his chest.
Guess it's time to cook the turkey.
*FOOZZZHHHH*
Magenta flames stream up the dragon’s neck and exit his skeletal maw like a flamethrower. Blasting the old guy with cursed fire.
Seconds later the hose shuts off and my winged tyrant turns around. Kicking back his rear legs a couple of times like a dog covering fresh turds.
The ridiculousness of it all gets me giggling again before another site interrupts me.
A black object launches itself from Frazur’s back. Arching across the sky before landing on top of gramps. Driving him into the dirt and rock once again.
The new player in this match is big, tall, and covered in black spikey metal from top to bottom. Humanoid, but looking a bit like Popeye with bulging forearms and shins. Two red eyes burn from within the helmet’s visor.
Wait, is that-
Before I can finish the thought, a familiar robotic voice echoes from within the juggernaut as it glares down at the geezer under his feet. Just deeper in pitch and far more menacing.
<Come quietly or there will be, trouble!>
Uh… Robocop? Where the fuck did-
*zhing*
A long blade springs from its right forearm, locking in place over the thick three fingered hand.
*shulch*
The golem drives the weapon downwards. Impaling the cultivator.
*zkrakakak*
The hole, and poor bastard in it, lights up as electricity travelling through the metal does its very best to fry seniore douchebag.
*chang*
With a jerk, the blade retracts back into the golem's right forearm.
*zhick*
A different blade slides out of the left forearm. It's shorter and thicker than the right arm’s. Sharp black metal begins to turn red and glow as it heats up.
<Dead or alive, you are coming with me!>
“No! [Kuai Long Ti]”
*gong*
*thoom* *thoom* *th-thoom*
A distinctly feminine shape soars over me and gives the evil looking golem a flying kick. The surprise attack sends it staggering back a dozen feet before it regains its balance.
Big Ji?
“Shushu!”
Another girl comes sprinting in from the side. Sliding to a stop and taking a martial arts stance. Pointing her sword at my new favorite golem.
Yep, its Little Li.
*flap* *flap*
“Master!” “Husband!”
Raise my eyes to see my winged ex-oracles carrying Frankie and Red.
As soon as their feet touch the ground both wives lunge at me. Sobbing and muttering my title over and over. Would like it more if they would use my actual name.
“[Embrace of Hygieia]” “[Touch of Menerva]”
Frankie has been working hard to learn my stupidly complex [Recovery Magic] and quickly casts two spells through her snot and tears.
Hear horses and wagons approaching. Guess the cavalry’s here? First to show up in my still a bit hazy vision is Mila. She’s merged with my ex-paladin right now since she’s got two arms.
Takes one look at me and spins towards the chinese sisters. Draws a great sword, locks eyes on the old cultivator, and leaves no doubt about her intentions. You can feel the rage in her voice.
“Get out of the way!”
Ji and Li move to cover both sides of their uncle’s smoking burnt body. Hear the geezer groaning and trying to move but, he’s not having much success.
Jesus, how tough is that douchebag?
More of my harem and knights arrive, weapons drawn and magic circles spinning as they face off against fantasy china’s team. Its like a Mexican Standoff. One wrong move and all will break loose.
“My Lord Barton! Your attention, quickly please!”
Not-sebastian’s sudden, as always, arrival startles everyone. As does the sight of who he’s helping. Hitomi. Half dragging and half carrying her through the growing crowd.
She’s covered in blood and both her right arm and leg are bent in directions they’re not supposed to be. Butler lays her down on my lap as Frankie and Red begrudgingly make room.
*cough*
My JK girl hacks up some blood but smiles when her dazed eyes find mine. She ain’t looking too good. [Super Senses] show massive internal injuries and bleeding.
“J-jon-kun?”
I gently lift her up to my chest.
“Yes, Hitomi, I’m here.”
Her whole body seems to melt into my arms.
“Did I- *cough* did I do good?”
Vision gets blurry. Are these, tears?
“Yes, you did good.”
My JK girl is crying too.
“I-I am sorry, J-jon, messed up again.” *cough* *cough* “Ne-never m-meant to hurt y-you.”
Caress her cold cheeks.
“Why, Hitomi? Why did you come?”
She gives me a sad smile.
“C-could not let him s-send you a-away.” Her working hand lifts up and touches my cheek. “Had to t-tell you, I love you, one l-last time.”
“Hitomi…”
“I… I love y-you, Jon. W-will you m-marry me? Please?”
I nod.
“Yes… I will marry you, my JK girl.”
Her eyes grow cloudy and dim, but she’s somehow smiling even more.
“Hentai.”
With the greatest care, my lips reach hers. Her face becomes even more tender and loving.
“You know it.”
A flash of pain crosses her face. Body shudders. Chest rattles.
“Am… am I g-going to die? J-jon?”
Slowly shake my head and mumble.
“No…”
The light fades from those beautiful dark eyes and Hitomi's pale hand falls from my tear streaked cheek. As the last breath escapes, I hear her last word.
“Liar…”
My fingers softly trace her cold pale lips.
“Sleep, my love. And awaken to a bright new day.”
Feel the weight of Frankie’s regret and sorrow beside me.
“Master… I… I…”
Ignoring my priest-wife I look up to the heavens and whisper a vow.
“You will not take anything, from me, anymore.”
As I felt Frankie's regret, I also feel Red's concern.
“Husband?”
“[DECREE OF ANUBIS]”
A column of blacklight shoots skyward. Piercing the clouds. Impaling the heavens. In the center of that beam is my japanese girlfr- er, my japanese wife’s, body.
Everyone, even Frazur, unconsciously steps back from the… unholiness of that glow.
As the light fades, tenderly lay Hitomi’s body down beside me. Then, with Red’s help, I manage to stand. Face Frankie, who is still kneeling and now staring in wonder at the girl laid between us.
“Frankie? Take care of your sister.” Turn and, leaving Red behind, start limping towards the sisters. “This will only take a minute.”
My priest-wife kowtows.
“Yes, master.”
Everything, even my balls, feel battered and bruised. And I just burned a god awful amount of mana, on one spell. Dizzy and would love to pass out. Can’t though.
Now I have even more to do.
My women and servants part before me like the Red Sea before Moses. Can see many want to comfort me. And even more who want to avenge me. They bow as I pass, then face my destination with hard eyes.
Before me are the sisters and their uncle. Said uncle has been turned over and laid against a rock, facing my way. He looks? Well, like a piece of burnt bacon. All his white hair is gone. Only tatters of robes remain.
And either it's been burned off? Or grandpa’s been taking way too many isekai steroids.
Right now? Whitey’s being read the riot act. Both sisters are leaning over and clearly chewing him out in that chinese-ish sounding language.
Geezer tries to defend himself several times. But gets shut up by his nieces as they go on another tirade.
Awkwardly sliding down into the crater, I realize. If I wasn’t about to kill him? Might actually pity the asshole.
*ahem*
Both sisters freeze when they hear me. They look like children who just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. This lasts a couple seconds before they throw themselves to the ground and start kowtowing.
Big Ji starts.
"Please forgive uncle, daisho!" Rubbing her forehead back and forth on the ground. "He is just a pervert who always had his eye on sister."
Little Li chimes in.
"Shushu is a dirty old man who was often begging me to marry him as soon as my periods started." Also rubbing her head on the ground.
Are you trying to get me to spare him, or kill him?
Younger sister continues.
"But the only one nice to me in the palace was shushu. Even if it was for a lewd reason." She sobs. "He also convinced father to let me rescue sister. If he hadn’t… Please spare him xingan!"
Raise an arm with my hand open. Saw this move in a movie once.
*shooo...chang*
The super sword, Sanctity, soars down out of the sky and lands, hilt first, in my palm.
Thank you Mr. Hemsworth.
Witnessing this, Li and Ji both start bawling. Begging me again to spare the perverted geezer's life. Gramps, on the other hand, is giving me the angry eyes. His voice sounds hoarse, when he speaks.
"You… you took her from me. She was going to be mine. We were going to be so happy."
Little Li spins around and screams.
"Stop it! Uncle, we were never going to be together! Do you think father would waste an imperial princess on a relative?" Her hands ball into fists. "Someone he already controls? Wake up you old fool! Please…"
It's hard to tell, through the burns, but grandpa seems shocked. He looks back and forth between Li and Ji, who's also turned to face him.
“Xiao Li? B-but...”
Big Ji interrupts him.
“Uncle, she loves you, we both do. But we will never love you the way you want us too. Even if daisho was not here? We would still not.” A look of sympathy, and disgust. “Stop chasing girls and go back to auntie.”
Huh. So that’s what a pedophile looks like when their heart breaks. For a few moments, at least, before the delusion kicks back in. A look of resolve, I think, then he nods to himself.
“I see where my mistake was.” Nods some more. “Should never have let them leave. So the only love they ever knew, would be shushu’s.” Eyes focus on me. “You win this time, manren. But do not think I will let you touch my other gongzhu.”
Just how far, up his own ass, has this cultivator's head gone?
“How are you going to stop me, gramps? You’re gonna die here.”
His scoff flakes off some crisped skin.
“Ha! We are clearly both men of action, manren. Warriors of love!” Raises a fist. “Every tiny maiden’s heart sings to us.” A firm nod. “A call we cannot ignore!”
As god is my witness I don’t know what to do. This geezer is completely off his rocker. Before I notice, Little Li and Big Ji are at my feet. My naked feet. Kissing them.
Oh, yeah, I’m still naked.
Everyone’s mood has swung. Big bad cultivator has transformed into chester the molester. They just want him gone, like yesterday. Hatred, has evolved into revulsion.
“Sorry girls, he took someone very precious from me. And he would have killed me.” My eyes go cold. “Never leave an enemy behind.”
Push past the bawling sisters and loom over the dirty old man. Sense he’s trying to gather qi, but his tank is empty. Grandpa’s running on fumes and is using that just to stay alive.
From deep in my memory, a flashback plays. My son is younger and playing pretend. He’s the hero, of course, and proudly states what he will do after beating the bad guys.
I praise his creativity but, silently, doubt “cleaning his room” is ever going to be a popular punishment from superhero court.
Hehe…
What would my son do?
…
…
Fuck!
Sigh.
Fine.
Stare down at the defeated “bad guy.” Looking him in the eye as I pass judgment.
“Mercy is the mark of a great man.”
*stab* *skyrk*
While my shadows may have had trouble? Sanctity is a fucking holy sword. Some claim it was made by the gods. So has no problem piercing this pedo’s hide.
“Ah!”
Not a deep cut, but it's enough to hurt. The dose of lightning it also gives? Probably doesn’t feel that great either.
“Guess I’m just a good man.”
*stab* *skyrk*
“Oh!”
“Well, I’m alright.”
Feeling dizzy again but Red is now next to me. Helping me stay standing. Not sure I’ve ever seen such a bright smile on her face.
“What you grinning for?”
"My husband is going to be a great father."
Give Red a double take. Women. They say the strangest things.
"Not-sebastian?"
"Yes, my lord?"
Appears on my other side.
"Transport Hitomi to the Sayo Clinic and prep her for surgery. I'll need the Gold grade mana stones, so have them ready."
With a bow, my [Butler Magic] using manservant is gone.
Face gramps again.
"You, make like a tree, and get out of here." Ignore his confused look. "I see you again? And you're dead."
Turn back around, without waiting for a reply, and hobble away. Will Frazur to make sure grandpa gets on his boat and goes away.
Give Red a kiss as I limp towards the carriages.
"Let's go home."