Chapter 27: So Hot
*mwah* “JiJi...” *boh* “Xiao Li...” *chu* “Chan Ji...” *muah* “LiLi...” *shlurp*
…
“Whoa…”
So, this is paradise.
I, Jon Barton, have figured it out. Seen the light. Everything, is so clear to me now. What a fool was I. Blinded by foolish pride. Imagine how many go their entire lives without this discovery.
Pity them. For they never learn the meaning of life. Obtain the secret to happiness. Rejoice my brethren toiling in darkness! Be enlightened and shine with divine revelation!!!
What is best in life?!
Chicks.
Making out.
On your lap.
Rarer than adamantite. Mythical-er than cold fusion. And impossible-er than a sequel as good as the… quel? Hot oriental babes, sisters even, canoodling on your thighs.
The land once promised by god, in ages long past, is at last, delivered unto his faithful.
Yeah, the older one looks kind of like the “after” pic on a “don’t do meth” billboard. Because, basically, she is. But she’s getting better as my [Recovery Magic] works its, well, magic.
Didn’t even have to turn her into a newt first.
And yes, their faces are covered in tears and snot. Dude, they’ve had a rough day. Of course they are going to get emotional. Still, should they be using their tongues that much?
Like a Friday “Damn” meme.
…
Okay, recap.
Lunch on my first, shitty, day of isekai school was interrupted by what I’m guessing is this world’s version of fantasy china. I stalled and was going to blow them off until not-sebastian, my super cool old butler dude, exploited my achilles heel.
An excuse to play Cheri, a magic electric guitar.
Yeah, don’t really need an excuse but I’m actually a busy guy. A student and researcher in Stormgarde. The viscount lord of Lions Keep and its dependencies. Plus necromancing, training, and hareming?
My schedule is pretty tight.
So, guitar in hand, I retinued my way to Stormgarde’s quasi-secret semi-sex club and got my rock on.
Unfortunately, I tripped over fantasy sweden’s otome game and screwed with a confrontation between the heroine and villainess.
Naturally being punished for it by first, being claimed by said villainess. Then second, having the heroine latch onto Hitomi. Like a leech. Turns out the heroine, a Brit, is an isekai too.
Though she seems oddly weak compared to me and Hitomi.
Finally, I ended up meeting fantasy china’s princess.
Who wanted me to use my [Recovery Magic] to wake up her catatonic older sister. A lost cause since her sis was effectively brain dead. At least she appeared to be.
Even though her brain had completely shut down, her “soul” was still there. Could even “hear” it monologuing her tragic NTR backstory of humiliation and degradation.
So, first [Kiss of Grannus] to support and soothe her broken mind. Next [Aid of Ourai] to heal and strengthen the withered spirit. Then [Call of Charon] for cleansing her sinful soul. Finally [Meeting Aja] regenerates and refreshes her cellular structure.
The end result? Rebooting the connection between the older sister’s material and astral halves. Plus lightening the heavy load of shame and regret enough for the younger sister to begin patching up her shattered heart.
Letting older sister reach out to the world around her once more.
Gave me some interesting insights into how the physical and spiritual worlds interact. The brain seems to be the interface between the two. But is that the only place they interact?
Naturally, the two about leaped into each other’s arms for their reunion. And whose lap was in between them? Yep, you guessed it. This guy’s.
“Hao xiong ni a jiji.”
Among the tears, snot, and kissing, younger sister, “Li,” starts speaking a language I don’t recognize. My “autotranslate” cheat only works with Tourinese.
Did manage to learn the “native” language pretty quickly, but the girls still say I have a weird accent.
“Yijong zhame jile.”
Older sister, “Ji” I think, replies. And by what I remember from streaming shows? Completely legally of course. It sounds, chinese-ish?
“Yawi we shyqole ni.”
Wait, so does this mean they wanted me to understand the argument earlier? Sigh… I was being played again. Ugh!
“Ni jiole tia wa.”
Really, should they be using their tongues that much? I get the kissing and hugging. Maybe even the rubbing. But who french kisses their sister?
Maybe it's a cultural thing?
“Wamy de yingxing jile ni.”
Okay. Why are you looking at me? Honestly, junior is already at full mast and ready for action but… This is awfully public. Even for me.
Both entourages plus my undead? Even a shadow dragon? Not sure I want to put on that kind of show. Might damage my rep.
“We huì jinglì ta.”
Both messy but beautiful asian babes lean towards me. Their lips and tongues easily reach my cheeks, and ears. They’re steaming my lobes.
“Wamy diu kay jinglì ta ma.”
Their soft warm tooshies feel great on my thighs.
“Tian huy xyhun to de.”
Laying their bodies against me. I feel the little wiggles to find the best fit.
“Xiong wamy shesheng de haizo.”
Each takes a shoulder as a pillow and hold hands. Li turns her full attention to me and speaks.
“Come home with us.”
Eh?
Ji chimes in. “Imperial Father would reward you well.” Very suggestive come hither look. “And I would reward you too.” Warm voice in my ear. “Every day and night.”
Frankie’s standing behind me still and massaging my shoulders. Can feel a spike of anxiety through my harem’s rings. She decides to interrupt the chinese girls’ sales pitch.
“Master has goals here.” Is that nervousness I hear? “And his faithful are here. He cannot leave now.”
Youngey Li twists and leans back to look at my priest-wife. Giving me an incredible close up of her outfit’s boob window.
“Lady Ushinua Barton. The royal consort’s search for Tianzhu has reached the middle empire too.” Is she talking about me? “There are other lands besides Iagreth.”
Red, whose tone is suspiciously defensive, jumps in.
“But most holy texts point to this land as his resting place.”
Older Ji snickers in reply.
“Holy texts? The ink on their parchment is still wet compared to our divine scrolls.”
A harsh glare from Blue. Am I about to witness a catfight?
“Ha! Arrogant yangs! You could not even preser-”
*Ahem!*
Ignored by my arguing women. The head of my entourage’s knights has approached through my undead’s ranks and loudly cleared his throat to get my attention.
“Viscount Barton! This establishment’s manager is urgently requesting an audience.”
Oh. Yeah. Nothing like the roar of a dragon, even a deceased one, to rile up the locals.
Oops.
Move my hands under the two princesses to give their butt cheeks a deep squeeze. Drawing moans and giggles from them. Each kiss my neck and reluctantly scoot off of me. Letting me get up from the couch.
Hey, I may be an ass. But I try not to be an asshole. Better go calm down the villagers before they break out the torches and pitchforks.
Lili, my first concubine, gives me a worried look.
“My lord, do you require aid?”
Wave at her to sit back down.
“Nah… No worries. I can work it out.”
As I walk towards the door my knight leads to, I again notice the window from earlier. It's actually a magic window and is showing a beach at night with palm trees and moons.
Can almost hear the waves.
Weeks by sea south of Stormgarde’s covert coitus cabaret, moons light up a white sand beach. Lunar light giving it a blue tint as gentle waves roll ashore in the sheltered bay.
The pristine beach, and palm trees along it, stretch for miles.
Lining the shore are the vacation homes of Aquecia’s wealthiest. Their designs and bright colors bring the words “colonial carribean” to mind. As does their light wicker rattan furniture, canopies, and numerous glassless shuttered windows.
On the second floor of a white mansion facing the beach, is a large balcony. Most of the property is dark except for the torches of guards.
Open shutters let light from inside bask the balcony in an orange-ish glow. While canopies and screens keep the wind, mostly, at bay.
Dominating the space is a large ornately carved wood table. Covered in reports and maps. Several chairs surround it, but only one is currently occupied.
An eye-catching woman reclines in it. Drinking wine from a crystal goblet. Long and slender, you can see her body’s heritage is both eastern and western.
A swimsuit model’s figure, ready to grace the covers of teen fashion magazines. And it is a swimsuit that she now wears. A bikini. A very risque bikini.
Strings and beads with no fabric in between. Supporting a modest chest and small rear yet leaving them exposed, enticing. Jewelry adorns her. Bracelets, anklets, necklaces, waistlaces, give her an even more erotic air.
Goosebumps wave across her skin. Responding to the cool breeze and drying sweat.
Looking over her shoulder reveals the sweat’s source. Within the room behind her is a huge canopied bed. With one man and nearly a dozen women spread across it. Mostly naked, and all asleep.
Among the women are elves, dwarves, beastkin, and even demons. Each has a collared neck. The only humans are one japanese boy and one japanese girl.
The girl's body is excessively lewd. Even asleep, her oversized breasts and butt seem to beg for abuse. Ready to satisfy any desire to dominate them. Despite her visibly pregnant belly.
The boy is tall, dark, and handsome. An ikemen. Toned and muscular.
Only the lewd girl is in his arms. The rest have clearly been well used by him but maintain some distance from the couple in the center of the bed.
The half-japanese former model turns her head to look at the sea again. Satisfied grin on her face. She again wonders idly.
“Just how high is Kojiro-sama’s stamina stat? Or maybe it's labeled endurance?”
*lick* *rub* *nibble* *suck*
“What, my goddess?”
Besides the sound of gentle waves and crackling fireplace. There is a sloppier noise. One of feet being caressed. Of toes being worshipped.
Their devout attendant is a demon girl. Her collar being the only item she’s wearing as she kneels on the floor before the asian bikini queen.
Her body is sexy, but damaged. A scarred succubi. On her back dangles the stubs of long amputated wings. And only the stump of her tail remains. Even her horns have been filed down and look more like handles.
If she stood you would notice two small faint scars below her belly. Framing a [Slavery Magic] tattoo above her nethers. Every collared woman on the bed has similar features.
The old injuries are the marks of a “spay.” Sterilized female slave.
The seated wine drinking woman takes another sip and ignores the slave’s question. Closing her eyes to enjoy the late night air. And attention her feet are getting.
A few minutes later, however, she is frowning again.
With a deep sigh she reaches over, ignoring her servant’s flinch, and picks up one of the many pieces of small rolled paper on the table. Tiny enough to be carried by postal bats and birds.
She sits the glass down and reads the code again. Another report from the Shades spy network. Another update on her “sister,” Hitomi Chigusa.
While some rolled papers are from the girl herself. Including a very panicked one warning her lover and sisters of an assassination attempt. Most are from those watching the watcher.
While Hitomi created the Shades? That hardly means they only answer to her. The lithe beauty smirks as she remembers how easy it was to subvert the loyalties of many agents.
Creating a “fifth column” within her rival’s organization.
While they still follow “the Shadows” commands? Their true loyalty lies with her, “the Witch,” the Princess of Plots, the Scheming Sorceress, and rival for Kojiro-sama’s affection, Maki Ide.
She wonders for the umpteenth time how her pawns in Tourin could botch such a simple plot. They had the personnel, the equipment, and the training.
“Well, fufu, I do know better than to expect too much from NPC’s.” Glances at other papers and grimaces. “And it wasn’t all their fault.”
“Please let this worthless one serve you, my goddess.”
Her slave looks up and again pleads if there is anything she can do. Her tone displaying the correct mix of devotion and fear that she’s learned to use. In order to avoid her masters’ wrath.
The Witch lifts her foot and puts her big toe into the slave’s mouth. Rubbing it along her lips and teeth. She looks down at the slave and does not bother trying to remember its name.
“Ara ara. Can you kill a god?” She smirks again as the slave flinches and shudders. “A new player is messing with my meta. He’s given my team two strikes. I will not tolerate a third.”
The succubus nods submissively and resumes focusing on the goddess’s feet. Knowing better than to risk too much attention from her owners.
While the broken demon services her, the Witch muses.
She never expected Tourin’s summoning to succeed. The sudden demon retreat was an even greater shock. Wrecking her plans to bring the northern kingdoms into the war and create a second front.
Though it provided another opportunity to remove one of her rivals. At first physically and then permanently.
Rummaging through the papers, Maki rereads a couple more.
She had always thought Umeka, the pregnant girl being cuddled on the bed, was the weakest of her two sisters. But after her “rescue” she toughened up considerably.
In hindsight, Hitomi’s chuuni past did imply she was vulnerable to “going native.” But her performance during the purge led Maki to believe “the Shadow” was stronger.
“Kojiro-sama will be so disappointed.” The magical girl of the four elements mumbles to herself.
Umeka was thrilled by reports of a romantic relationship between new player, Jon Barton, and Kojiro Tsutsumi’s first girlfriend.
Considering how faithless they had all been, for a while at least, in the past? Especially Umeka herself? Maki found Umeka’s gloating hypocritical, at best. Loathsome, at worst.
Naturally Kojiro-sama stood by his childhood friend. Mentioning what she had done during the purge to find and undermine their enemies. Several times pretending to be traitorous, or at least compromised, to exploit vulnerabilities in hostile ranks.
“Fufu…”
Maki quietly laughed again over how easy men, even male NPC’s, were to manipulate. Like they had read blackmail doujinshi and believed women were really that easy to control.
Kojiro-sama and Umeka-chan completely missed what was hidden between the lines. Individually, the reports showed their femme fatale teammate just performing her normal role.
Infiltrate and assassinate.
Combined though they showed her rival was behaving very out of character. Joining, instead of competing, with the target’s harem. Friendships with NPC’s. Adventuring with the target. Even the way she referred to the target now as “Jon-kun” in her messages.
And finally, lobbying against the meta! The plan they had all agreed upon as the only way to keep Kojiro safe! Put the strategy on hold? Seek peace with the demons? Attend Stormgarde?
Like she would ever let herself be trapped again under dirty old men and their filthy wrinkled-
*crack*
“Hiiii…”
A startled Maki’s look showed she had accidentally broken one of the spay’s fingers with her foot. And the demon had wisely used her other hand to muffle the pained scream.
The Witch turned and saw that Kojiro-sama was still sleeping. Maki would have made the succubi’s end “unpleasant,” if she had woken him.
The princess of plots reminded herself about how quickly succubus can heal and resumed her analysis. As the quietly crying slave resumed servicing the goddess’s feet.
Had Hitomi-san really fallen? Was the new player’s [Slavery Magic] strong enough to subdue her? Tests showed their massive mana pools made them pretty resistant to it. The Shadow’s [Dark School] affinity should have made her even more immune to it and [Charm Magic].
Was their femme fatale being controlled or had she actually turned?
Writing analysis and scrying implied that the author was free of control or influence. And the tells of magical coercion had not been detected either.
The more she examined the data the more it seemed that her “sister” may have genuinely betrayed them.
Maki had, at best, hoped for Hitomi to gold medal her quest. Killing the new player and dying in the process. Silver would have been at least one of them dying. Bronze leaving one at least heavily injured.
She never really thought the new player would join them. He was still, “clean.” Not fallen so low to not even be, “human,” anymore. And the last thing she wanted on this world was another male earthling to deal with.
If only the assassination had succeeded. It was hardly the first time she had tried to kill a rival. As she suspected several attempts on her life had been plots by Umeka or Hitomi.
The distance this time had just made it impossible to completely disguise it as something else. Like an apparently random encounter or third party scheme.
At least hitomi was pretending to be ignorant about the assassination attempt’s true origin.
The question now was what the Aquecian Empire’s next move should be. Leading figures from Lustonia and Yangxu were attending Stormgarde this year. Making the Beast’s [Slavery Magic] an even greater threat than her previous estimates.
Aquecia wanted to give the demons a second front. Not gain a second one themselves. But what could they do to stop it?
The new player’s slavemancy will make it impossible for anyone to resist his charms.
*SLAM!*
I’m back in the basement beneath the pub, where we found the main doors to the medieval love club. They’ve been closed, rather rudely, in my face and no hostess or guard remains outside.
Of course I’m not alone. The entourage is with me, plus the two otome game girls. None of fantasy china’s crew is here though. They are all still in the subterranean penthouse.
Naturally my undead are not here either. Recalled them all to my mindscape once the crisis was over.
“You know? I really thought I could work it out.”
Frankie and Red are giving me supportive hugs. Their feelings full of sympathy, and relief.
Banned.
Wow, when was the last time I was banned from a brothel? Paris during my army days? Well, they did try to charge soldiers the tourist rates. Hehe… Shutting down pig alley was not one of my finest moments.
But it was fun.
Still. A harem lord banned from an isekai brothel. Huh. Don’t recall ever reading that in any of those light novels.
Wonder what time it is…
Shit!
It's a school night!
Ugh. What a day.
Reach around my first and second wive’s waists. Then pull them in for a much needed restorative snuggle.
Sigh…
“Let’s go home.”