Chapter 18: Lunch
After eating a nuke, [Metia’s Verdict], at the end of the Vault Ambush. I decided life was too short. Like, really short. Pretty sure I died for a bit there. So for my third, uh, “body?” Wasn’t going to fuck around.
If you give me your all? I’ll give you mine. Or try to, at least. Okay, yeah, I have “trust” issues. Have “anger management” issues. Hey, fuck you too.
Still. It felt like I owed them. The girls who survived, and the ones who didn’t. Yep, I’ll admit it. Got a soft spot for ladies who do anything and everything to empty my balls. Over and over again.
Guess I’m just a romantic at heart.
So, I married my first two isekai wives. Ushinua “Frankie” Barton and Edelys “Red” Barton.
Now marriage ceremonies in Tourin are as simple or as complex as you want them to be. Both declare you’re married? Congratulations, you’re married.
Though to make it “legally” binding as well as socially? Requires recognition by authorities. Basically a noble or priest. An isekai marriage license.
Yeah, more of that written and unwritten rules stuff.
But you know what? Feels good to have women want you. Need you. Or at least do a convincing job of pretending too. Plus I’m not deluded enough, yet, to pretend I don’t need every bit of that attention. Helps keep me sane.
Fucking hurts to lose, well, everything. Kids, wife, friends, dog, everything. Keeps hurting too.
Sayo spent her whole life trying to get home and failed over and over again. I saw it on her phone. Her video diaries. Watched this shitty world grind her down over decades.
Not going to end up like her. Denying herself. Saving herself. And what did she get for it? A well exercised tongue and never seeing that boy again.
Not going to end up like that. Going to give as good as I get.
So say hello to isekai wife number three, Alote “Blue” Barton. Plus three “concubines,” not-wife wives. Lilias “Lili” Barton, Odaline “Oda” Barton, and Simone “Sim” Barton.
Yeah, I know my nicknames suck.
Curiously? There is no “wedding ring” tradition in Tourin. Hitomi says there is in Aquecia. Maybe it hasn’t caught on here yet.
Well, screw you, I like labeling my stuff. Letting guys know, “fuck off, she’s mine.”
And with my cheats I can actually make them, so I did. Yeah its a simple coil design, no fancy jewels or such, but I like it. Shove in a ton of mana during the process too. Makes them sparkle.
Like a night sky full of stars.
Made one for me too and they had an unexpected side effect. My wives and I can now “feel” each other. Not at the level of reading minds but more like sensing emotions.
Freaked me out at first with how often women have multiple emotions going at once. For us guys? Happy, sad, angry, drunk, nice and simple.
But with women? Amusement-regret, pleasure-disgust-joy, pride-shame-contempt-guilt. Thank god one of the emotions is usually strongest or I would have no clue what the fuck they’re thinking.
Unfortunately, these rings make it even easier for my isekai wives to see through my bullshit. I call it their [See Through Husband’s Antics] cheat.
On the other hand, its shown me how my isekai wives really feel. Positive emotions like admiration, interest, even love, are often in the mix when they look at me.
Yeah, I get it. Sort of. Women in this shitty world do not have a lot of power. Most are at the mercy of their families, houses, husbands, fathers, priests, lords, etc, etc…
Its the rare woman who has the guts, skills, and luck, to stand on their own and succeed.
So even a somewhat sexist pig like me? Is an isekai feminist in comparison. Strong, not ugly, and doesn’t always treat women like shit? Hitting the trifecta, for the chicks.
Hear that, exes of mine? In this world? I’m a “catch!”
Middle fingers in the air bitches.
Ahem…
Now only my wives and concubines got a ring. The rest of my harem? As in the mistresses? Nope. So their feelings remain a mystery to me.
Well, usually. There can be exceptions. Like, right now.
*stare*
Could get a sun tan from that glare. And the feelings its sending are loud and clear.
*stare*
Hate, contempt, disgust, a loathing potpourri. But not aimed at me. Nope, aimed at the girl on my right arm. My japanese high schooler girlfriend, Hitomi Chigusa.
And the “if looks could kill” girl? Miyula “Mila” of the Jodu. The one armed beastkin panther-girl recruited by undead paladin, Emelina, to be my mistress and bodyguard. Plus, I suspect, to be Hitomi’s love rival.
Yeah…
Not a fight she’s anywhere close to winning.
True, having a sexy beastkin want my seed, constantly, is hot. I’ve boned both the cat-girl and dog-girl maidettes but they’ve long been tamed and trained.
Wow, that sounds bad.
Well it happened way before Blue gave them to me.
Mila, in comparison, is very much still “wild.” And after she got over her initial shyness and nervousness? Dayam…
But she’s too inexperienced. Focuses more on competing with my other mistresses than serving me. Hopefully that will get better as she matures.
Oh well.
At least we didn’t have any more incidents in Umbra I. Slutty teach hadn’t made it back by the bell, so we left.
Next period is lunch. An eight-hour to wine and dine before our next class and all five hundred students get it at the same time.
Here is another spot where Stormgarde’s fantasy-modern splits with the rest of medieval Tourin. For most of the kingdom, lunch is the heaviest meal of the day. With a lighter dinner and even lighter breakfast.
In fact, taking a nap after lunch is a widespread practice. That or go to the baths, church, hangout, etc…
That doesn’t work here since the kids have class after lunch. Solution? Dinner is the heaviest meal of the day in Stormgarde.
Cooking is a long and involved process in medieval land. Not really something you can expect busy students to take care of themselves. So the academy runs three “cafeterias” on campus.
One in the male dorms. One in the female dorms. And the last next to the baths in the southwest quadrant.
Both dorm kitchens are smaller since they are segregated. Each are large open single room designs with the roof supported by numerous widely spaced thin columns.
Meal preparation and cooking is done in the center of the room around a massive fireplace and chimney. Some parts of the hearth are open. Other parts have doors like an oven. Food is served buffet style.
Arranged around the buffet and kitchen is the seating. Dozens of four and six person sized tables. Numerous large double doors line the walls, usually left open, leading out onto large roofed patios.
Tiered roofing with windows let in a lot of light. The outer wall is red brick while the inner wall is the same off yellow stone above white and grey marble floors.
Food storage is in large underground ice rooms and hauled up through dumbwaiters in the kitchens. Yep, ice rooms, Stormgarde has the luxury of chilled drinks.
Now if you want more personalized meals then the campus also has several privately owned restaurants and cafes in the northwest quadrant. But they are fucking pricey and cater too the wealthier students. Like the ones who can afford entirely silk uniforms.
Cafeterias are free for students and teachers so are, of course, more popular.
So why am I, plus entourage, heading for the cafeteria? Dude, I’m rich but I’m not richie rich. May have a lot of money coming in? But I got a lot going out too. Supporting a harem, maidettes, and brat house ain’t cheap.
Gots to pay them bills brother.
“Onii-chan!”
A high pitched overly excited scream cuts through the crowds like a yuppie through yogurt.
That voice belongs to Franziska “Frosty” Frost, a Dean of Stormgarde and recently knocked up by yours truly.
An unusually short, four foot, elf who is sadly also a breastless twig. Not just skinny. Scrawny. Hard to believe she’s a water archmage.
This four hundred year old is flying at me like a hawk after a rabbit and positively glowing. Was one of Sayo’s girlfriends and has been pining over her lost lover for centuries.
When we met she decided I was Sayo 2.0. Yeah, not Japanese but I’m from Earth and a healer so guess that was close enough. Desperate for a mini-Sayo, she finally talked me into giving her womb a baby boom.
Been giving her frequent checkups because in human years she would be around eighty. Making this a risky pregnancy. So far so good though.
Fingers crossed.
And despite me telling her to take it slow and easy numerous times? Swoops in and wraps herself around my left arm like a boa constrictor.
“I missed you sooo much onii-chan! Did you miss me?”
Could her eyes possibly twinkle any more?
“Of course I did. Ready for lunch?”
“Yes!” Fist pump? “Hi Hitomi-kun!”
We gather plenty of eyes on our way from Kashiwa Hall to Hanaya Hall, the main cafeteria. Not hard to tell why with our Black Hart and Maid Militant escorts. And there are a dozen of us. The rest having gone ahead to secure seating.
Yep, a dozen. Some brat house kids are here too. The rest are too busy with other stuff. Like helping Miltinnia “Milti” Alnus, wheelchair, prepare for the student council elections.
You go girl. Hope she wins. She would make a good freshmen council president.
Unlike the other couple hundred students going that way, we don’t head straight for the buffet. Instead we go around to the south side of the building.
There, on the southern patio, a section has been roped off. Guarded by more knights and maids. Inside is not-sebastian and the maidettes. Plus their Jodu beastkin kid assistants.
And a seriously impressive spread of food. Not-sebastian assured me earlier that it would be the cafeteria food. Just setup earlier to give us more time to eat.
Can see the siege the buffet is going through and it ain’t pretty. Half expecting students to start setting up trebuchets.
Red says this is how it always is, at first. Then naturally settles into queues by grade and rank. The more popular stuff though, like beef, stays mobbed throughout lunch.
Do I feel guilty for the special treatment? Nope. One of my too many titles is “Guardian of Stormgarde.” This is my house! So I will bravely, and with great dignity, suffer in silenc-
“Wow! This steak is delicious!”
…
Ahem.
Bread, cheese, porridge, stew, vegetables, fruit, sausage, beef, fowl, fish, etc… Juice, ale, mead, wine, brandy, whiskey, more etc… There is a lot of good food here. Way too much for the harem+1 and brat house.
So I have the knights and maids swapping out too to chow down. Not-sebastian and the maidettes refuse even a nibble. Hope they ate before.
“Thank you my prince!”
Lazy butt finally woke up. Lula, the Chastel’s slave-wife, came with Lili. And is eating the hell out of some apples. Must like them.
A variety of local officials, of course, show up to suck up along with some teachers. So the harem is holding court again. Mila’s taken a break from despising Hitomi to chat with her sister Otti.
And with Hanaya Hall on the south side of campus? And Stormgarde’s wall being level with the flattened ridge top? The view is…
Christ.
Miles and miles of hills, woods, and fields stretch out below us. Nearly shining in the bright sunlight. Can see the road to Raelera snaking southward. A couple of streams meandering their way to the ocean are also in view.
My eyes seem pulled into the distance. Like I could let go and my soul would drift with the wind. Visiting new places and unimagined lands.
God the kids would love it here.
*puff* *puff*
Take a draw on the lit cigar which my ladies seem to magically make appear in my hand. Then a sip of the whiskey which just as magically appears in my other hand.
The breeze is still cool but light. The chatter behind me is loud but not too loud. All in all a perfect day.
“Lord Barton?”
Or, at least, it was.
Looking over my left shoulder I see an oriental dude looking at me. His outfit looks vaguely, Chinese? Korean? While it seems he’s acting respectful? I also get the sense he is looking down on me too.
“Fuck off.”
Get the hell off my cloud.
“Master?”
Look over my right shoulder.
“Frankie?”
“Please listen, this could be valuable for you.”
Sigh.
Look back at oriental dude. Who now looks super offended. Good.
“What.”
“Ah. Yes. The imperial princess Tiang Li Zexi requests an audience.”
God dammit.