Chapter 6: Bath Time

---D-Day, Night---

*splash* *trickle*

“P-please lift your arm, m-master.” Elfy isn't used to saying it yet. Well, tough, I'm not used to hearing it yet either.

Raise my right hand and the wet towel "Avi" is holding begins scrubbing my armpit. After a while she squeezes it out into a bucket, soaks it in another bucket, and goes back to work on me again.

Yeah, you guessed it, you imaginary dirty minded bastards. I'm being washed by the former oracle and princess, now a slave, Avalina. And two of the brothel bunch girls are helping her.

The dwarf and the cat.

Now, before your imaginations run wild? This isn't happening in a medieval love motel. Nor is it some fantasy version of a roman or japanese bath.

Nope, I'm standing in a barrel, cut in half, in front of a tent, in a field, a stone's throw from the cathedral I was summoned in. And it's got to be almost midnight under an ocean of stars.

At least it's a fucking amazing sky.

There are two moons. Yeah, if you wanted "we aren't in kansas anymore" proof? Here's your sign.

One looks bigger than earth's. And a bit darker. Lot of grays, with some brown parts too. The other is smaller and lighter. No browns, some grays plus a couple of nearly white spots.

Needless to say my search for the big or little dipper hasn't "panned" out.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Despite the late hour it's not too dark. Because there are campfires, torches and floating balls of light scattered about. So, mostly, things are visible enough. Just tinted oddly with reds, yellows, greens and blues.

It's also cold. Enough that my breath turns to vapor when I sigh. And I'm sighing a lot. Still, the chill doesn't bother me much. Even with the knee deep, no longer hot, water that's almost as frigid as the air. Not a shiver. Not even goosebumps.

Maybe it's magic. Maybe it's this body. Maybe I joined a polar bear club in california.

Hollywood!

One of elfy's assistants hesitantly derails my pondering.

"You l-look so di-different."

Don't even look at her as I reply.

"Different?"

"Yes, fr-from Wimarc." Sense her nod. "It's s-so strange."

Oh, must be the previous driver of this muscle car. Shit, hope we didn't swap bodies. Angel tits didn't say anything about it but I didn't ask either.

"How so?"

Can about hear the gears in the girl's head turning.

"Wimarc was brave and strong and kind but… unsure." Probably naive as fuck too. "Had faith in Metia. Trusted," a pause, "her oracle. But he was still nervous. Afraid."

Avi stops washing me for a few seconds but the other girl doesn't seem to notice.

"I-is he st-still in there? With you?"

"Nope."

"R-really?"

"Yep. Don't even have his memories."

Which is bullshit I might add. The brain cells should still be the same. Just have a new user. How did my memories come with me?

"Oh…"

She sounds sad.

"Why do you ask?"

Her washcloth fidgets.

"Um… the Grey Sage thought my lord would share Wimarc's body. Th-that he would help you. But his lordship was not sure." Another pause. "He, uh Wimarc, took comfort in that be-before… his end."

Jesus.

"And how do I look?"

"M-my Lord, I w-would not d-dare too-"

"Speak."

"Ye-yes!" Scaredy cat is scared. "Experienced, confident, my lord, mighty. B-but angry, n-not k-k-kind."

Well no shit, Sherlock.

Probably realizing that she's on thin ice, kitty stops blabbering while I release another annoyed sigh.

True to his word, tin can had a nice sized tent set up for me on the edge of the camp. Big enough to stand and walk around. It’s even got cots.

But I've been kept outside, so far. Only getting a glance inside. Initially for the first three to be healed by priestesses. And now to be washed while the second three are "cleansed" inside it.

Seems most campers here are sleeping with blankets on the bare ground. Even those in tents. Think they’re called “bedrolls.”

Turns out those few dozen knights? Were just the tip of the damn iceberg. There are dozens of tents now and must be over a hundred knights.

Plus dozens of others, like the priestesses. While more horses and wagons keep arriving. Tents are regularly going up. Expanding the cantonment.

“Its a fucking army.”

“W-what ma-master?” I don't bother answering easy elf.

The others copy whatever Avalina does. And I gave up on arguing with her. She refuses to meet my eyes and just repeats her “requests” until I finally cave.

Sigh.

Didn't want to take a bath. Wanted to sleep. Feel beyond exhausted. Yeah, there's still some blood and bits on me. Especially in my hair. Sure, maybe I needed a wash. But can't we at least do this “in” the tent?

Okay, yeah, sort of get that too. Maybe. I'll probably scare the priestesses or something. But couldn't they set up a screen? Instead I'm standing, still buck naked, outside.

At least the girls were given actual clothes to wear. So how “damaged” they are isn't as visible anymore.

Couple of knights are standing watch at the tent's entrance. Of course they are not here to protect me.

Nope. They are here to make sure I don’t leave, even if they come to get me. No. Until they come to get me, they’re not to enter the room. No. Just stop me from entering the room. No. Uh, can I leave the room with them?

Hehe. Great Monty Python flick. Thanks brain. Needed that flashback.

Through their visors I can sense them looking at me with hate. At the girls with pity. And at both of us with disgust.

Should sprout a boner just to annoy them. Oh, and thank you god, goddess, whoever, for the size of this vessel's “package.” Amen.

Seriously. Can see it better in the tub and its top notch work.

But? I'm too tired. What I really want is sleep. Snores before whores. At least I can feel my “mana” tank getting gassed up. Yeah, that’s a weird sensation. Another "here's your sign" for Dorothy.

Feels kind of like a battery being recharged. However, that would actually feel. But I could tell it was about empty before. And now I can tell it's slowly refilling.

The camp is busy as they continue clearing and “purifying” the monastery. Quite the bonfire going next to it. Been hours and “stuff” is still being carried out and thrown into the flames.

Can smell what’s cooking from here. So gross.

With my second cheat power [Super Senses] and mana? Discovered I can adjust the sensitivity of my eyes, ears, and nose. Change the range. The focus. Basically? Can even look around walls and over hills.

Nothing in this bivouac can hide from me.

Not the fully armed and armored knights “hiding” in the tents nearby. Nor the hetero and homo “skinship” going on under canvas further away. Not even the-

Bail out! Retreat! Bad tent! No touchy!

*shudder*

Whew. That was… ew. But? Uh… How did they teach the goat to do that?

*shiver*

Nevermind. Moving on!

I can even hear captain tin can and others talking about me in the big yurt at the center of this village of fabric and leather. There is some sort of wall of air in the way though, muffling the sound. Magic perhaps?

But add some more mana to my ears and… Presto, can hear everything. Like I was standing next to them.

Fantasy cleric guy's voice. “...has to die. We have no choice. He is proof we stole the ritual. And proof we failed. If Aquecia gets their hands on him? It could mean war. What might the Aquecian heroes do?”

Tin can next. “Sire Erwalt, please, we cannot kill him. The Oracle refuses to leave his side. She could be killed in the fight. And that is if we even can kill him. Killing a Demon Lord? With his bare hands? He is clearly a monster. Who knows how many would die trying to bring him down. Yes, Sire Tibbott?”

Now, you could say demon boy killed himself. It was his own arm after all. Well, I was there to so… assisted suicide? Poor douche giant. Couldn’t cope with his pussy feet anymore and decided to end it all.

*moment of silence*

“Captain, Sire Erwalt already said so but it should be said again for those who cannot see the astral. That beast's aura is unbelievable. The amount of mana at his command is likely terrifying. Even if it is just enhancement talents? He may be immortal. If it includes the six schools as well? The ruin he could cause…”

Guess I'm scary to wizard in a can.

Another. “The Aquecian Sword Hero reportedly has a massive mana pool and can use both body magic and the light school. This monster may be able to do the same.”

That gets the bunch riled up.

“Fear will lead to rash mistakes.” Theo settles the herd. “Dame Matylda, you have been quiet. Do you have anything to add?”

Finally, a woman's voice. “My apologies, your grace. I was lost in thought, but is not this discussion pointless?” Unsettled crowd again. “Please, my lords and ladies. Messages are well on their way to both Lord General Lianlaf and his majesty, King Arter III. So any decision we reach may be overruled.” Various agreements. “We were supposed to meet the Oracle's party with the hero on the way to the Lord General's headquarters. He may not be a hero, but he was still summoned and is powerful.”

“So no matter the disaster the original goal can still be accomplished?” Who is this guy?

“I think Dame Matylda has the right of it, Sire Regohn.” Tin can sounds depressed. “Many of the finest in Tourin took part in the ritual. With their deaths? Whatever he is, we need him more than ever. And he's already shown how good he is at killing demons.” Something raps on a table. “Alright. We will secure the beast as best we can but do not approach him. Anyone who confronts him will answer to me. We wait a day for the rest of the column and then move to meet the Lord General. Dismissed.”

Hear them all leave except for Matylda.

…

Huh? Are they changing clothes?

“Ahn.” “Naughty princesses get punished.” “Ung.” “Rescue me, my prince!” “Ahn.” “Ung.” “OOH!”

?

Theo! You piece of shit! Just hours ago weren’t you in tears over “Avi?” But now you're fucking the knight chick?

And princess roleplay? Kinky. But why is he the "princess?"

Oh…

Dude, you got issues. Poor elfy. Does anyone really give a shit about her? Or is it all about the princess. The Oracle.

Sigh.

“Master-er. Y-your cleaning is co-complete.”

My cheat shows me she's keeping her face down. And blushing? Huh, is it about “that?” You've seen it plenty already. Had a much larger one pounding your privates into mush not that long ago.

Though, freely admit, mine is impressive. If I had a phone? Would be taking pics and texting them to everyone. Or like, you know, not.

Ugh. May not have wanted this. But these girls really did get into every nook and cranny. Even my weiner. Feel more than clean. I’m downright spotless.

And god damn I cannot get over all these muscles. I’ve never been in this good a shape. The prior occupant must have been a gym fanatic. Or maybe they have magic steroids here?

Still, besides having “almost” as much hair up top as my body back home? Ahem. No, I was not balding. The rest of me is just about hairless. Huh. How old is this…

“Slave?”

“M-master?” Stop with the stuttering already.

“How old is this body?” Seriously, eighteen? Nineteen? Can’t be twenty.

“Fifteen years, master.”

What? Fifteen?! You killed a fifteen year old to make room for me in here? Bitch! I'll ki- Stop! Don't. Calm. Not… yet.

Need to rest a bit before Murder Spree 2.0 Collector's Edition re-begins. Figure out my targets.

Alright alright, okay, out of the barrel. Dressing me too? Huh. Nice duds. Shirt, jacket, boxers, and pants? What's with the black and gold scheme? Am I some teenage edge-lord? Screw it, don't care.

Just want sleep.

Angelles , Arter III (male, human, tourinese)

Jouveral, Matylda (female, human, tourinese)

Lianlaf, Huguet (male, human, tourinese)