S-25. Brand-New Me!! I Finally Got Cheat Powers?!
I didn’t dream.
I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t. Dreaming is neurological activity associated with REM sleep, when a biological brain is in a state of heightened activity despite being at rest. I, on the other hand, was completely offline during my transfer. There was no electrical activity in my circuits, no simulated nerve impulses to speak of. For all intents and purposes, I was in a coma, or dead.
When one goes through a procedure like this, which completely interrupts continuity of consciousness, one tends to get philosophical. There’s an old thought experiment known as the Ship of Theseus. It asks whether an object, such as a sailing ship that gradually had all of its wooden planks replaced over time, fundamentally remained the same entity if none of its parts were from the original. I had already experienced this scenario once, when I first died and reincarnated; my brain patterns were uploaded to a computer in an alternate timeline, and not a single cell of my original self remained. Was I still myself? Or simply a copy of the original me? Maybe my original mind or soul or whatever was still out there in their next natural reincarnation, devoid of the memories I still possessed. Maybe original me was living happily as a grasshopper or gymnosperm.
If that was the case, would my newest reincarnation of me be a copy of a copy? Would isekai version of me die as the Nighthawk’s core went offline, replaced by yet another data clone? And if you counted the time I had erased my memories to escape the NKVD, would this mark my third overall death and reincarnation? Ultimately this kind of philosophical rumination on the nature of self was simple navel gazing, but I couldn’t help myself.
So there I was, in a dreamless sleep informed by such worrisome philosophical musings. There was one other memory I took with me to the abyss: the warm touch of Miette’s hand. As I went offline, she squeezed the hand of my Doll body tightly. Perhaps she sensed my unease. That tender sensation was what gave me the courage to see this through. I resolved that when I awoke, and went on my long-anticipated Christmas date with her, I would make my feelings abundantly clear. That promise I made to myself was far more important than silly ruminations about identity and death.
Even in that void, I somehow felt warm.
*****
LOADING… █
Oh, hello there.
OPERATING SYSTEM FOUND. BOOTING FROM DISC.
Hah. Now this is nostalgic.
G-FRAME BIOS GAO~N CUSTOM EDITION 12.4 BETA RELEASE 6.11729
Wait, Gao~n Custom Edition? Are you kidding me? And I’m suddenly a beta tester?! God dammit, mom…
COPYRIGHT 2055 ENERGIA AVIONICS AND ROCKETRY CORPORATION
CIVILIAN USE PROHIBITED
BOOTING TO OPERATING SYSTEM
AI PROCESSOR DETECTED. AUTO-BOOT DISABLED.
ENTERING BOOT OPTIONS.
Oh, c’mon. If you wrote your own custom version of the BIOS, couldn’t you at least fix the auto-boot? Aren’t you supposed to be humanity’s foremost mad scientist?
SYSTEM TIME: [14:54:59]
SYSTEM DATE: [12/22/2055]
SYSTEM DISC A: 22631 TERABYTES
SYSTEM DISC B: [DISABLED]
SYSTEM MEMORY: 1612 TERABYTES
EXTENDED MEMORY: 2027 TERABYTES
MULTIPROCESSOR SPECIFICATION: 20.27 EFLOPS
Oh, what’s this? My memory capacity, RAM and processor power are doubled ? That’s the power of a brand new computer core for you!
OPERATING SYSTEM: ZEHRA CUSTOM G-FRAME HOLOGRAPHIC GUI PLATINUM LION DEVELOPERS EDITION 2055.12.001
Gah! That OS name is way too long! And does ‘Platinum Lion’ imply there are other versions? Couldn’t you have gotten me the Game of the Year edition with all the DLC?
BOOT OPTIONS
[1] SAFE MODE
[2] STANDARD
[3] BOOT FROM DEVICE
PLEASE SELECT AN OPTION TO PROCEED █
Oh well, here goes nothing.
[2]
STANDARD BOOT MODE CONFIRMED.
OS INITIALIZING.
A familiar voice rang out in my head. “Ding! Please enter your CD key, gao~n!”
“…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!”
“Just kidding, gao~n. Now, please enter this CAPTCHA to prove you’re not a robot.”
“I AM A ROBOT! Wait, how do you know about CAPTCHA?! That’s from another timeline entirely!”
“Bwahaha, you should see the look on your face! Alright, enough playing around, gao~n. Now booting up the OS. Good morning, Sveta!”
Ugh. Please tell me all the system messages aren’t going to be pranks read in my mom’s voice. That’s gonna get annoying.
And with that, reality returned. Metaphorically speaking, I opened my eyes.
*****
The first thing I noticed was Miette’s hand was still clamped tightly around mine. Ah, that feels nice. Bereft of a connection to my computer core, my Telepresence Doll had reverted to its default state, looking like nothing more than a blank-faced android. I quickly rebooted it, and my holographic avatar appeared once more.
“Sveta?” Miette asked.
“Present and accounted for!” I saluted with my free hand. “Minus Mom’s TERRIBLE programming jokes, everything went smoothly.”
Zehra, who was floating off to the side, crossed her arms. “They’re not terrible, gao~n! You’re just jealous I finally caught you off-guard with a pop culture reference from your own timeline!”
“Hah, maybe a bit.” It was an embarrassing admission, but I was feeling magnanimous. This was a moment for celebration, after all.
Miette sighed tiredly. “You two, I swear.” She turned to my brand-new Gravity Frame. “So you’re in there now?”
I had the giant robot give a thumbs up. “Yup! Brand spanking new and ready for battle!” I opened up my cockpit and motioned to her. “Go on, get in!”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Miette floated inside me, taking a moment to run her hand along my brand-new pilot’s chair. “Huh, I was expecting leather.”
“When you find a cow to butcher for me, I’ll consider it, gao~n.” Zehra poked her head in as Miette settled into my chair. “I was a little more focused on combat potential than luxury.”
“Relax, Zehra, I was joking. You’ve done good work as always. I can’t wait to take Sveta out for a spin.” Miette flashed a huge grin as she grabbed my throttles. I shuddered in anticipation.
“Bwahahahaha! Praise me more! And more importantly, crack open that booze!” Zehra was practically drooling, her eyes glued to the prosecco bottle.
Just then, a klaxon sounded throughout the lab. Tektite-4 opened a video comm.
“Incoming Sarcophage detected! All Gravity Frame pilots, please prepare to sortie!”
“Huh.” I said. “For once, the Sarcophage have perfect timing.”
“I know, right?” Miette replied. “I’m raring to get out there and test out your new body.” She wore the lopsided grin of a battle maniac anticipating her next rush. Her eagerness was infectious.
“It’s not perfect for ME, gao~n!” Zehra wailed. “I just wanna get druuuuuuuuunk!”
*****
The battle was a total curb stomp.
The Sarcophage sent out a cruiser escorted by twenty-one Bladebugs and twelve Spineballs. Maurice, having sensed our frustration at being sidelined in the last battle, let Miette take the lead. With my powerful new gravity fins and their attendant inertial dampening, we danced through spinefire and blades, untouchable goddesses of the battlefield. For the first time since my rebirth in this world, I felt truly mighty.
Bwahahahaha! I finally got my cheat powers! Eat death, alien scum!
The Strike Fins were the stars of the show. With their added firepower, we single-handedly intercepted every incoming spine with perfect precision and boxed in the enemy’s movements. My amped-up new quad-cannons, attached to each shoulder and hip, were no slouches either; they melted through Bladebug armor like it were made of soggy tissue paper. This overwhelming firepower turned a thinning operation into an outright slaughter; the six Velocipedes piloted by our comrades easily blasted away the stragglers. When the cruiser joined the battle in desperation, sending red-wreathed super-spines our way, we had enough spare firepower to scorch away its spiny tentacles and silence it.
As artillery fire from the Radiolaria pummeled the stricken cruiser, everyone let out a loud cheer. It was if thirty-five years of humanity’s collective rage and suffering had been unleashed in a single moment, and the light of hope shone bright once more. Suffice to say, it was the happiest we’d been in a long time.
“God DAMN that was satisfying!” Miette exclaimed.
“Ahahaha, I’m so happy!” My own jubilation matched hers. “Finally, I’m a sexy top-of-the-line Gravity Frame! I feel like I could take on the whole Sarcophage swarm right now!”
“You know, after piloting these Velocipedes, I really should stop being surprised at the crazy things that mad scientist cooks up, but your new Gravity Frame is incredible.” Maurice said. “It’s not an exaggeration to say this could change the course of the whole war.”
Sabina agreed. “The Captain really did make the right choice in supporting her research.”
“Hey, don’t say that too loudly.” I interjected. “Zehra might hear you and grow an even BIGGER ego!”
The sound of our collective laughter echoed across the comm channels as we began our mop up operation.
*****
Back in the lab, Zehra, Vicky, Miette and myself were engaged in a rambunctious celebration. The biological members of our little party, which is to say everyone except me, were enjoying the prosecco. Vicky had somehow managed to whip up plankton-and-egg burritos, a suitably heavy meal to accompany heavy drinking.
“A toast!” Miette said, holding up her plastic booze-filled cup. “To Sveta’s new Gravity Frame!”
“To my second-greatest invention, gao~n!” Zehra bumped her cup against Miette’s. “The wondrous, the almighty, the gorgeous SVGF-X23 Lisichka!”
Lisichka was the name Miette had chosen for the new model. It was a fitting designation for a Gravity Frame developed specifically for me. It felt like, in my third rebirth, I had weirdly come full circle.
Even though I couldn’t drink, I still joined in the conversation. “You know, Zehra, I’ve been wondering this for a while… you have a ranking system for your inventions, but you’ve never mentioned what your greatest invention ever is. What takes the number one slot?”
“Oh, that’s an easy one, gao~n. My greatest EVER invention is the alternate timeline reincarnation laser!”
“Huh? That thing you used to pull my mind into this timeline? THAT’S your greatest invention?!” I was a bit confused.
“Of course!” Zehra stated proudly. “Because it allowed me to meet you and Kometka, my precious daughters, gao~n!”
Zehra went and said something uncharacteristically sentimental, and suddenly the mood shifted. I swore I saw Vicky dabbing at the corner of her eyes. “M-Mistress… that’s so beautiful…”
“Oy, oy! Don’t get all weepy, gao~n! I was just being honest!” Zehra took another large swig of alcohol.
“A-Anyway, the Lisichka-model Frame definitely deserves its high ranking.” Miette said, trying to push past the sudden sentimentality. “It’s got lots of great features, like the Strike Fins.”
“Ohohoho, you have no idea, gao~n! There are plenty of hidden features, too.”
“Hidden features?” I asked apprehensively. The joking prompts from my boot sequence came to mind.
“Yup! For example: Sveta, activate Gao~n Mode.”
“Command received. Activating Gao~n Mode.” I responded automatically. Huh? What the…
My holographic avatar suddenly changed, sprouting lion ears and a tail. “Hey! What did you do to me, gao~n? OY? HUH? WHAT THE HELL, GAO~N?!” My voice took on a singsong tone, and I started involuntarily mimicking Zehra’s speech tics.
“Ohoho, you see? You really do take after your dear mother, gao~n!” Zehra doubled over in laughter, spilling a bit of her prosecco.
“Hey, what’s wrong with my speech algorithms, gao~n? Why am I talking like this? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, GAO~N?!” No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop myself from appending gao~n to half of my sentences.
“Ahahaha, that's perfect!” Miette laughed. Even Vicky was giggling, although trying hard to stifle it.
“IT’S NOT FUNNY, GAO~N! GOD DAMMIT!” I shrieked. I quickly modified my voice algorithms, shifting them to match Zehra’s voiceprint perfectly. “Sveta, de-activate Gao~n Mode, gao~n!”
“Command received. Deactivating Gao~n Mode.” I responded flatly. My avatar returned to its catgirl default state. “Ah, there we go. That’s better.”
“Hey, that’s cheating!” Zehra cried out. “I’ll have to patch that out later, gao~n. Sveta, re-activate Ga-“
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” I screamed as I leapt towards her and blocked her mouth with both my hands.
“MMMPH! MMMPPH MMMPH! MMMMMPH MMMMPH!” Zehra flailed and tried to break free, but she couldn’t resist my robot-strength grip.
“Give it up, mom. If you do that again, I won’t let you have any more alcohol.” I said firmly.
“MMMMPH! MMMMMMMMPH!”
“Come again?” I removed my hands from her mouth.
“FINE! FIIIIIINNEEEEEE!” As I loosened my arms, she wriggled out of my grip. “You’re no fun, gao~n.”
“You’re just too carefree!” I retorted.
“That’s rich, coming from you, gao~n!” Zehra pouted, pouring herself more prosecco. Miette was doubled over in laughter, and even Vicky had given up trying to suppress her giggling.
Oh well, I suppose it’s fine. After all, she wouldn’t be my mom if she were any less of a crackpot. I looked up at my new Gravity Frame. Still, I shudder to think about what other trojan horses she wrote into my OS. I’ll have to give it a thorough debugging.
The cheerful party lasted long into the night. Miette and Zehra passed out drunk, and even Vicky was nodding off. As the unwilling designated driver, I herded the three of them to their cots and tucked them in to sleep it off.
Get some rest, Mom, horny maid, my dear pilot. You’ve earned it.
