2.15.2 – Burned at the steak

I'm spoiling you all today. I splurge wrote chapters, and you'll get four of them!

Where there is sadness, there too is joy and wonder.

Note: Trigger warning for the threat of conversion therapy

Disclaimer:

2.0 - Edited by: Rellawing, AlliterativeArts - 11/14/2020

Aurora walked into the steakhouse and saw Sarah waiting inside in her t-shirt and shorts.

The man at the host’s podium looked over at Aurora and then to Sarah. “So this is your sister, then?” he asked. “You don't look much alike.”

“She brought me for an early dinner. Can we please have a table?” Sarah stepped up and asked.

“Well, that should be fine. This way, you two,” he replied, grabbing a pair of menus while leading them further in. The place wasn’t busy at all, Aurora was glad to see. She was worried that there may have been a few pedestrians in, but that didn’t seem to be the case. “Your waiter will be with you soon.”

Aurora looked across the table once they were seated. “You’re very adaptable. Good girl.” Aurora winked at Sarah. “Now we can start our private chat. To break the ice, I’ll start by telling you a little bit about myself.”

She told her about her first superhero experiences and the progress she’d made so far in both San Isidro and Seaside City. “...And that’s pretty much it. I will say, there was more to go over, but I can’t tell you everything yet. I don’t think it’s the best place or time. To answer one of the biggest questions I’m sure you have: I’m here because Leona, she wants me to talk with you.”

Tilting her head, she got straight to the point, “Sarah, are you happy? I know regular camps can be pretty fun, but this is a very different kind of camp your parents sent you to.”

“Of course, I’m happy,” she responded quickly, but as she was speaking her smile faded at the edges. “I mean, I miss home. I miss Leona.” She sighed wistfully. “Camp isn’t just for fun. It’s to help us remember how to properly worship God and remember his teachings,” she said a little stiffly. “So, um,” she quickly snapped out of it. “A-are you really a friend of hers? Truly?”

“You could say we’re very close, Sarah, and because we are, I’m close to you too. She’s shared all her feelings about you with me…” Aurora placed a hand on Sarah’s across the table and squeezed it gently.

“I know this is just a personal opinion, Sarah, but our relationship with God or any diety should be a deeply personal thing, and it can’t be forced like that. When someone tries to tell us we’re doing it wrong, it does more harm than good. And if they say we need to do it another way, like not accepting others’ viewpoints or allowing them to worship in their own way is a form of intolerance.”

Taking a deep breath, Aurora continued, “Frankly, your parents are your legal guardians so they get to choose everything for you right now. They get to make those choices for you, feeling it is best for you. Beliefs and such things are strongly inherited from teachers and parents. And it is true, that sometimes we make selfish choices for the people we love.” Aurora looked down and sighed, thinking about her own father, who chose to lock her away in a chest and tried to forget she existed in a twisted attempt to ‘protect’ her.

“Leona knows well how parents can make wrong choices. How they can choose themselves over their loved ones, without ever knowing it. Her father, she never told you this, but he… didn’t make good life choices at all. Leona was hurt because of that. If it wasn’t for her Aunt and cousin, she might never have found happiness in life. She’d have died alone in… in…” Aurora bit her lip but forced herself to continue, “I shudder to think of that.”

Darkness.

A stifling stench which had long since numbed her nose. Her stomach ate at itself. Every day feeling stretched thinner and thinner. Losing faith, memory, hope.

Aurora took a deep gulp, vainly trying to get the lump out of her throat. “Leona had the courage and faith she needed to see the sun shining again. She believed that things would get better in one way or another, and somehow they did.”

Aurora was still managing to keep it together, if just barely. “What I’m trying to say to you is … you may be unhappy right now, but that will pass. You’re strong and your parents do care about you but they don’t know your hurt, your pain. If you can hold out and be true to yourself, both Leona and I will be there waiting for you to return. Even Quinn thinks constantly about you.”

Sarah looked at Aurora and sniffled. She had been listening intently. At the end she nodded. “Even Quinn, huh?” She let out both the air and a torrent of emotions flow out of her in a long, quiet sigh.

“Well, that all sounds like… I mean… I appreciate what you’re saying, but… the way you’ve talked to me… you can only be one of two things,” Sarah began. “Since you said you’re not an angel. You’re either… Leona’s given up on me because you’re in her life now, or you’re at least as close as a sister to her, not that she ever mentioned one except for Quinn. And I guess I appreciate all this but…” Sarah shrugged. “No matter what my body tells me, my soul has to be in control of temptation. And if you’re really Quinn in disguise somehow, I don't think you’re bad for liking girls, assuming you do, but it’s just not what it’s supposed to be for me. And I do like Leona. At least until she’s finished transitioning, but after that I don’t think there’s any future there. We can still be close friends, and I want to be… but… without us being able to have a family I don’t see a future. And maybe you’re okay with that, but I want to be in harmony with the way the world… well… I should, anyway.” Sarah sighed again, and finished sadly. “I understand if you don’t want to feed me after what I just said, but I had to say all that for Leona.”

While Sarah was being dead-serious, Aurora couldn’t help but roll her eyes slightly at the thought that she’d be mistaken for her firecracker of a sister, but nodded. “You’ve gotten the wrong idea, kinda. No, I’m not Quinn. I could get her on the phone for you if you’d like.” Aurora laughed.

“Anyway, what makes you think I have THAT kind of a relationship with Leona? I don’t think I ever implied that.” Her laughing became a bit nervous. “I said we were very close, but that doesn’t mean that we’re lovers or anything intimate like that.”

Aurora turned with a forced smile to signal the waiter to come take their order. This situation required a bit of a distraction, if nothing else so they could begin to process what had already been said. “Steak sounds good to you, Sarah?”

Sarah nodded quietly. “A couple of sirloins with baked potatoes and sodas, please.” Aurora ordered. When he took the order back to the kitchen, she looked into Sarah’s eyes quietly.

There wasn’t anything further she could say, because she’d already said all the important things for a moment.

“Y’know, I don’t think this was the best place for the conversation we’ve had, but I’ll say this for Leona to hear.” Sarah blushed faintly. “I love Leona and Quinn more than anything. Even if my body feels one way about certain people doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or that they’re bad if that’s how they feel too. For Leona, it’s totally normal for her… for her to like girls.”

Sarah crossed her arms and frowned a little. “Unfortunately, the rules are the rules, and if you break God’s rules, there is only one punishment. It really sucks. The camp is kinda run like that too. Even though you kind of spirited me away,” Sarah went on, “I know I’ll be punished for this. I knew the moment I agreed that I would be. I hope you’ll understand if I don’t want to talk much more right now,” she said.

“I hope Leona is doing okay, I got a feeling she was in trouble recently… there was a rumor that someone had tried to sneak in to tip cows the other day, but for some reason I thought of her. Is she alright?”

Aurora smiled, crossing her arms below her breasts. “I’m glad you knew what coming along would mean for you. I’d hate to think you didn’t and I’d consigned you to punishment just for this. I’m also glad you heard that rumor. It was definitely Leona and Quinn. They desperately wanted to see you, though what they did was misguided and they were summarily punished. Thanks to that, Quinn’s car was impounded and a large fine was issued. The two had to spend a good portion of the night in the local jail.” She chuckled mirthlessly at the recollection of the steel bench she had lain on for all those hours.

Sarah frowned and shook her head. “That... she should’ve known better. I hope those two didn’t say anything about me, otherwise they’d have to tell my parents and that’d just make it harder to see her in the future when I get out. It’s hard enough explaining our relationship without giving away her secret. My avoiding it was part of why I’ve been sent to the realignment camp.”

“There are a lot of other kids who have a similar problem to mine… you’re lucky you caught me outside today… six days a week we’re inside almost all day, studying, getting lectured and performing lordly labors. My labor today is mostly outdoors, but I’ll probably miss out on any kind of sports or free time for the rest of my stay for my punishment,” she sighed and shrugged. “I’m not angry with you or Leona though… I just wish it wasn’t going to happen…”

“I’m sorry you have to go through all that… it’s not how a kid should spend her summer. I wonder if your parents knew how tough it would be. Well, you may miss out on wiffle ball today, but you got to experience something no one else there will. You got to see the world from above with a panorama spreading around you. Something you can’t get on an airplane even if you’re the pilot, right?” Aurora winked. “And how many got to have a steak dinner for the trouble?” She laughed softly.

“Whatever they do, you can get through it. If you do your best to enjoy your meal and tell me that you’ll be strong for yourself and Leona, I’ll tell you something good when we’re back outside.”

It was at that moment that their food arrived. They quietened for a time as they were served, but after the waiter moved away Sarah promptly started on the steak with her mouth watering.

After making a healthy dent in her meal, she took a deep swig of soda and resumed their conversation. “No, I’m grateful that I got the chance to fly and… to meet you,” Sarah blushed a little when she said that. “But I just…” She smiled more and leaned in close. “Do you know what Leona’s secret is?” She asked with a small smile.

Aurora returned the smile doubly. “I know it. It’s not an easy secret to have. Why do you ask?”

“I’m here because I kept that secret. Everyone thinks I’m a lesbian because of that secret. If she thinks I’ll forget about her, she’s wro… as bad as this camp is, it’ll free me from my crazy hormones and just let me appreciate her, as God intended, without conflict until she’s done with her journey.” Sarah smiled more. “It’s hard not really knowing if you love someone for who they are or just how they look.”

“Tell me about it.” Aurora sighed softly, looking into Sarah’s eyes. “So, you want to know if you’re really a lesbian, is that right? Would knowing that settle your mind in the least?”

Answering her own question, Aurora shook her head, “No, no matter how things turn out, you’ll have to make the choice in the end, and either way it will be a challenge. If you find you really do have those feelings, nothing they say will keep them buried for long.”

“You said you were an alien, so maybe it’s different where you came from, but here on Earth, it’s supposed to be men and women together.” Replied Sarah, digging in once again.

“I know that somehow something in my body is messed up because if I think about it in terms of spirituality, it’s clear there shouldn’t be anything there… but my body still gets weird feelings when it comes to beautiful girls… Who we are, our very species couldn’t continue if we give in to that kind of temptation. It’s wrong and clearly part of some kind of ploy by the adversary of my God, because of his jealousy and desire to hurt my God. I’d always wondered, but that’s one of the things I’m learning about now… so no matter what temptations may worm their way in due to body chemistry, your urges and mind, I know my spirit is true.”

Sarah stopped and put her hand on Aurora’s. “You know, you might learn a lot about our race and our culture if you stay long enough. And with your appearance, you’d be an inspiration… maybe if you explain that you’re unfamiliar with our culture, they’d let you join at the camp for a week… it might help you.”

Leona smiled sorrowfully. That hurt a bit. Her friend was proselytizing to her.

She merely nodded in reply. “Perhaps. Tell me this though, doesn’t your God say to be fruitful and multiply? That’s a wonderful blessing for a new world with few people in it, and procreation can be joyful. But, aren’t those words becoming more and more of a curse these days? Households that can’t care for children. Negligence, abandonment of children, tough times for mothers who have to support her child alone, even men in cases where the mother was the first to run. It’s only natural to give birth and want to have children, true, and yet not everyone has to want that for themselves. It’s our own individual choices that decide. I’m sure God would agree with what prevents regrets, pain, suffering. In my opinion, God would want to keep the world from becoming overpopulated, and in a way, perhaps being gay is something that God invented to save the world from overpopulation. Something that would trigger when being fruitful would become a problem.”

Sarah nodded along slowly as Aurora spoke, but when Aurora had finished Sarah shook her head negatively. “At least here in the United States we have plenty of room. There isn’t a population problem at all. This false love stems from the same thing that causes people to ruin things and own too much land - greed.” She sighed angrily. “So many greedy people want to ignore everything but their own self-gratification. I mean, even someone like me, who tries to be nice and helpful… well I’m greedy deep down in my body. I want something that isn’t mine that shouldn’t be… most of Humanity is that way… we’re just… greedy,“ her tone became emotional.

“I don’t blame you if you don’t understand,” she continued, “it’s hard for any of us mortals to understand the complexity of His plan, but it doesn’t include selfish greed. That’s the work of something else that has wormed its way into our thoughts and culture, to make the unacceptable commonplace...” she wiped her eyes, having talked herself into a teary state.

Aurora continued to peck at her meal quietly. There really wasn’t anything else to say to that. A relationship between them was probably doomed. She clearly felt regret, but it was Sarah’s own choice, their choices.

Leona wondered if every time she took Sarah to a meal would end up so utterly and downright uncomfortable. There were some things that came to mind after a moment, but most of them would just be hurtful.  She chose the least abrasive words in mind to utter, “I’m sorry that you were put in this situation, Sarah. I don’t want you to feel any more unhappy than you already are. We’ll finish our meal and get you back soon. I hope you don’t hate Leona for this.”

Sarah nodded and shook her head. “It hasn’t been unpleasant. I know it’s confusing… really confusing for me… but please tell her I’m looking forward to seeing her and her family when my time here is done. It should only be another five weeks, I think.”

Aurora smiled. Friendship at least was possible. She was frustrated, but it would be selfish to…

Out of the corner of her vision she saw the door to the restrooms behind Sarah.

She was there. Black Angel stood right there.

Wearing the same clothes as her, but her wings and hair were pitch black.

With a wiggle of her finger to beckon her, Leona could only gulp.