1.32 – Past

Separation, sold into slavery (but she was more of a pet), abuse (mentioned in like 1 sentence)

Emma slipped over to Sasha and slid over a note. She didn't want to do this, but she needed to. Or, thought she needed to. Thought it might help.

Can I have a private dream tonight? Alone.

Sasha's eyes darted over to Maple, who was engrossed in conversation. Emma shrunk down a little, apparently trying to be discreet. A good [Bartender] learned to read people regardless of species, as well as when something wasn't any of their business. Sasha shrugged.

"Sure. But Maple is showing us you-know-what tonight. I guess you'll have plenty of other dreams with her in the future anyway."

Emma nodded somberly. Seeing more of her Human's world was something to look forward to—she just wasn't in the mood for it. She felt tired. All she wanted was to sleep. Maybe if she just rested a little longer...

It would never be enough. She was falling into old habits. Could she be sick? Even though she'd never been sick before? Solids suffered from illness, but never her. She wasn't sure if it was even possible; there was a lot she didn't know about her own biology.

Sasha passed the note back, and Emma tried not to show the fear welling up in her. She stashed the note inside her body and pulled out a second one to show Maple.

"Oh, you're going to bed? I could join you, just let me—"

Emma shook her head, stopping her. She grinned and gestured that it was fine and just how sleepy she was. Really.

She wanted to do this alone, if she was going to do it at all. And her Human should enjoy the rest of the night, not be burdened by her troubles. Maple stared at her a moment and hesitantly relented.

"Oh, okay. Goodnight. Are you sure? Alright. Get some rest, cutie."

They hugged, and halfway up the stairs an inkling of regret appeared. Maybe she should have brought Maple after all. If she was sick, it was spending time with her Human that made her feel better. If she hadn't randomly shown up on that day, she'd still be sleeping.

For eternity, maybe.

She'd never had the chance to ask how long Slimes live, and she was too scared to find out now. For how long after I lose the people I care about, will I need to go on living without them?

Their room was dark and empty, not that she needed much light to see. It just made it feel as lonely as the cave had been. She became a blob and tried to get comfortable on their bed. Falling asleep became difficult for the first time in years.

She was already remembering—lots of things. Would reliving those memories even more vividly just make her feel worse? Sometimes, you needed to face things head on.

That's something her previous solid had taught her. She didn't know if it applied to this situation or not. Maybe she was just broken. How did everyone else seem so fine? Was it because they knew their lives were short and that they'd also be gone soon enough anyway?

What if your life was long?

The dream began. Emma couldn't bring herself to move. She sat there and thought about where to begin.

She shifted the world around her until she was in her first home, just like she remembered it. A sad, nostalgic feeling overtook her. She already felt worse. Was this a mistake?

Something clicked and the dream took over playing out her memory. She watched in her human form as a cat-eared man came through the front door carrying a glass bowl filled with a blue Slime. Her.

"Mabel! Come look what Papa got for you."

Mabel...Had that really been her name? Her thoughts wouldn't use language for another few years, and even then only sparingly, so her memories from back then didn't involve too many words. That had been it though, hadn't it?

A small girl came running into the room, stumbling clumsily. She latched onto the her father's leg.

"Papa, Papa!"

"Look, it's a Soap Slime."

The man tipped the glass bowl over and young Emma fled under a chair. Her younger self was trembling. Before this day, she'd been living wild and free for what must have been years. She remembered the seasons changing, but didn't have much of a sense of time.

Emma remembered how scared she'd been as the furry-eared girl grabbed at her and put her hands inside her body. Young Emma slipped out of her grasp and bounced away as fast as she could. Mabel chased her, giggling, until she tripped and face-planted. She started crying and young Emma watched her father fail to console her.

"There, there. You're alright sweetie, just a little bump. Do you want to name your new pet?"

Young Emma only vaguely recognized the girl's state as distress, and had no idea what the liquid coming out of her eyes was. Feeling curious, and the tiniest bit sympathetic, young Emma carefully approached. She stretched her body up to the girl's face and wiped some of the liquid away.

Mabel giggled and grabbed at her again. This time, young Emma tensed but didn't run. Then she purred, making her whole body vibrate a little. The girl's mood quickly improved and she laughed while roughly petting her. It didn't hurt Emma; she was almost infinitely malleable.

"He's so slippewy! I wanna name him Chawie!"

That's right, she'd had a different name before Emma. And gender, technically, though it wasn't like she was attached to either pronoun. That was just something the solids fussed over. If you asked her, the two kinds of people were solid and not-solid. Or maybe, if some kind of gaseous life-form existed, it was solid, liquid, and gas. If she knew what plasma was, she'd throw that in too.

The [Mimic Life-form] skill she got from meeting Maple not only made shaping her body into something more solid easier, but had also granted her a basic understanding of how Humans thought.

She had a logical, almost textbook, understanding of gender. She knew that people usually identified strongly as something, and that their sexual preferences are also based on this identity. She knew there were several, and that it didn't always align with a person's sex. She knew there were social differences between them; Humans treated each other differently because of it.

She just couldn't personally understand what it actually was. There was nothing within her to point to that she could call a gender. One pronoun or another didn't make her feel any different. Even 'it' as a pronoun wouldn't bother her, as long as it weren't being used derogatorily. Thus she concluded she simply didn't have one of these gender things, and that it might even be something only solids had.

There was a big asterisk next to that, since she hadn't met any other Slimes like herself, but that was her logic for now.

Names were a similar thing. She hadn't been born with one, so once everyone who knew her as Charlie was gone, there wasn't much reason to keep using it unless she wanted to be sad. Letting Maple give her a new name had filled her with joy. It created a personal bond between them.

"Charlie it is. Owning a pet is a big responsibility, Mabel. You're going to have to feed and take care of him. Okay?"

"Okay."

Mabel wrapped her arms around Charlie, and the young Slime felt a little more at ease.

Time skipped forward about a year. Charlie had grown used to his new home. They fed him plenty and there was never any danger like there used to be. If Maple was Emma's first Human, Mabel had been the Slime's first solid. She was a Neko and had long cat ears, a tail, and claws that were sharper than a Human's nails.

Charlie learned to care for the girl and went almost everywhere with her. At this time, she'd just learned a new trick and was showing it to him.

"I wub you Chawie. I, L, U. See?"

Mabel's hand was engulfed by Charlie as she extended her pinky, index, and thumb. He purred despite not understanding anything at all. She laughed and smiled when he purred, so it was a good thing to do.

The ILU hand sign became their thing, and as he gradually picked up words over the following years, he learned what it meant.

Emma curled up into a Human ball as she watched, arms wrapped around her knees. She smiled because those were good times, but seeing all this again so vividly hurt her. She'd never cried before like solids do, but she made her Human form do it now.

It didn't help.

The memories flashed by. All the times Charlie played with Mabel. Their tea parties, and when she'd secretly slip food under the dinner table. When they slept and Mabel used him like a pillow. The times he'd wipe her tears away and cheer her up.

The reenactment continued all the way up to the last day they were together. Mabel was about 12, by Emma's guess. Mabel's father had been stressed the weeks leading up to it, and Charlie had been getting less and less food. In hindsight, Emma now knew they were going through a financial hardship, but could only understand bits and pieces at the time.

Charlie only knew he was going away.

Mabel sobbed, and hugged her face against Charlie. He washed her tears away and tried to comfort her.

"No! I don't want to get rid of him! He's family! You can't sell him—"

"Mabel, I'm sorry, but we need to eat. We have no gold left. We'll be lucky to make it through the winter. The owner is a very nice lady and I'm sure will take good care of him. He's a Soap Slime, he'll love it there."

"He loves it here, with me! Don't you, Charlie?"

Charlie purred against her face. He did understand that, and agreed that by her side was where he belonged. Would he be coming back?

"I know, sweetie. Please understand, there's nothing else we can do. You have until tomorrow before she gets here to say goodbye."

Emma trembled watching the last of her memories with Mabel. Because it'd been so sad, because she never would get to come back, and because, unlike Charlie, she knew how bad life was about to get.

When the next day came, and she was about to appear, Emma couldn't handle it. She tried not to look, but the dream forced her to watch it all while she shook and cried.

Mabel was hardly more composed than the previous day, but she'd stopped protesting as hard, seeing it was futile. Instead, a constant stream of tears fell as she repeatedly told Charlie how much she loved him.

"I love you so much, Charlie. I don't want you to go. I'll find a way to visit, okay? I promise."

"She's here. Come on, Charlie."

Mabel's final ILU hand left his body as he moved into the glass bowl. He really thought she'd visit, and that it wouldn't be too bad. He understood, to some degree, that this was so Mabel and the rest of the family wouldn't starve. Not why, or how. Being traded for a bag of coins didn't make sense until much later.

She walked in, a stern middle-aged Human woman in business attire. For a long time, directly because of this woman and her associates, Emma had thought it was the lack of furry ears and tail that made a person evil. That the gods had revoked their soft fluffy parts so that others would know to avoid them.

Charlie was carried to a wagon, and then the journey took several days. He didn't know at the time which city he was taken to, nor what Mabel's city was called. He was brought to a bathhouse once they arrived.

Fear consumed Emma. Her body lost cohesion and she was a shaking, scared ball again. She couldn't do this. She tried to close her eyes, but the memory had replaced her vision entirely by now.

The evil woman dumped Charlie into one of the empty tubs and started barking orders. She had her shock wand holstered at her side—

"Em-m-m-m-a-a-aa, I lo-ve y-ou—"

A gurgling voice woke Emma up, pulling her out of the dream. Maple was speaking with her mouth submerged inside her body, making air bubbles. She pulled her face out and smiled up at her.

"Hehe. Hi. You okay? You were shaking, and—Oh no, you're crying. What's wrong?"

Maple pulled Emma's head to her chest and wrapped her arms around her. She was clearly far from okay.

"Was it a nightmare? It's okay now."

Emma shook her head and couldn't stop the tears from coming out, or the way her body was still shaking.

"Do you want to talk about it? Or uh, come here. I'm here for you now, okay?"

Emma wrapped her body around Maple. Only her head remained a solid shape.

Maple stroked it gently and kissed her several times. She didn't know what was wrong. She didn't know how to help. She'd been worried about her, and then when Sasha told her about the request she'd made, something just felt off.

Now, she looked so sad—and so scared—that it made Maple want to cry for her.