1.7: Is it wrong to pick up girls in Hell?

After the battle my team circled around me, showering me with praises.

“Allexus, you were… that was… holy shit! I mean… seriously, holy shit!”

“That move where you simulcasted your summon spells while you were flying was fucking awesome!”

“Hey, Allexus. Question. What are we gonna do with Tweedledee and Tweedledum? I mean… how did you make them change colors like that?”

I showed them my full character skill screen and zoomed in on [Corrupting Touch].

“I didn’t know it could do that entirely… but… I figured it was worth a try. They really are my minions now. A new Minion menu just popped up complete with their… dreadful stats. Other than a high dexterity stat for firing the crossbow and several skill levels in [Crossbow Proficiency], they are pretty worthless… if not somewhat adorable.”

The two small demons we were discussing were currently fighting over which of them loved me more. When they began to throw stones at each other, Emelia grabbed one, and I grabbed the other. The one in Emelia’s grasp blushed when he looked at her and she rolled her eyes. Like Judas when we first met, they had no names.

“I’m going to call you Pain. And your brother that Emelia is holding will be called Panic.”

“If he’s my brother… Does that make you my mom?”

I laughed and released him.

“It sorta does… but let’s go with Mistress… mmkay?”

“Yes Mistress. Thank you for saving me from my last boss. You’re so much nicer than he was. And prettier too. Thank you for giving me a name, Mistress.”

“Yeah, Thank you!”

I nodded to them and pointed the ground in front of me.

“Pain! Panic! To me, now!”

“Ooop! Yes, mistress!”

They ran over and stood up straight.

“If you are going to be my minions and part of our clan, you will have to work hard! Harder than you’ve ever worked. It may not be fun, but I will never be cruel to you. Does that sound like something you guys can handle?”

They both nodded enthusiastically and shouted yes! in unison.

“Good, now go retrieve all the weapons and useful gear that we can use and bring it to Bray. He’s the tall warrior with the really big axe over there.”

They snickered and looked over at him.

“His ass looks normal sized for his body, Mistress.”

I glared at them, and they scampered off. Emelia chuckled as she walked over and shook her head.

“God, they're like children. With crossbows. But… you’re right. They are kinda cute. I’m diggin’ the Disney reference there, by the way. I guess we have a pair of clan mascots now.”

“Heh. More like team pets… but I’m sure- ugh.”

I suddenly felt light headed and I collapsed to my knees.

“Allexus, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?! Jade! Get over here!”

“I… uh…”

I lifted my arm and saw the source of my pain. A crossbow bolt had penetrated my armor and pierced my side. It hadn’t penetrated too deeply though, so I wondered if there was more to it than that.

“Pain! Come here!”

He sprinted over to me and looked up at me with a worried expression.

“What’s wrong, Mistress? Did one of the poisoned arrows hit your skin?”

I sighed and nodded.

“Is there an antidote, Pain?”

He shook his head and looked down at his feet. Emelia helped me lay back against the stone and I snapped my fingers weakly. My armor and chainmail disappeared, leaving me completely nude in front of my group. I was too weak to care, and I turned onto my side and lifted my arm. Jade knelt down and started casting a spell. The bolt pulled itself out of my skin and the wound closed. It was still a mottled brown color, but at least the pain in my side was gone and I could breathe normally. I sat up and looked over at Emelia. As she looked up and down my nude body for any further damage, she blushed when she came to my groin area.

“You failed to mention he left you with some… erm… extra body parts.”

I laughed and looked up at Jade who was still inspecting the wound.

“It looks like the poison isn’t spreading. You may be a bit weak for a bit, but I think your lack of humanity has saved you from the worst of it. Your demonic body is resisting the poison. If that bolt had hit one of us, we’d already be dead. Just… another thing to add to the list of gifts your master gave you. OK, I wasn’t going to say anything, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Is that thing between your legs functional? I mean… you don’t even have any testes. Dear god, never mind… he made you into some sort of demon futanari. I swear if he was a player he’d be one of those creepy hentai obsessed guys who pretend to be 13-year-old girls and still live in their mother’s basement in their 40’s. That’s one of the reason all of us chose to make characters that pretty much look like we do in real life.”

“Well… I technically did do that… but when my master changed my body he turned me into this walking sex dream.”

Jade grinned at me as her eyes gave my body a less than professional once-over and blushed slightly when we made eye contact. After she cleared her throat she stood up and helped me to my feet.

“Well… the poison should clear out of your system in a minute or so… but I would check your active status screen just to make sure.”

“My active what now?”

“Active… status screen? It shows the list of all current hexes, enchantments, and other effects currently on you?”

“Yes. That is a thing I knew I had. Obviously.”

Jade rolled her eyes and gave me an incredulous look, but didn’t comment otherwise. While I was checking the various drop-down menus I had failed to notice until now, I found one that said Active Statuses.

As Jade walked over to the Scythe, I looked at the list on the screen and my eyes went wide. I had a plethora of enchantments cast on me from my demon master. [Master/Servant Bond], [Servant Binding], [Forced Submission], [Chains of Command], and my least favorite, [Sexual Subservience]. Each of the levels of the enchantments were displayed as Tier 5. I equipped my gear and stood up slowly. I was going to go ask Emelia about the enchantments, but she was currently sitting on Bray’s lap laughing at something he had said. I felt a stab of jealousy, but I ignored it and walked over to Jade.

“Hey Jade, do you know anything about enchantments?”

She nodded.

“Yeah, why?”

I showed her my list of enchantments and she kept glancing at me, then back at the list; each time looking a bit more grim.

“Shit… I’m sorry. That’s some powerful magic. Demonspawn can only cast tier 3 enchantments and even then, it takes hours of preparation and a lot of MP.  Tier 5 is some powerful shit. You could ask the enchantress about ‘em though, when we get back to town. She’d have a better answer than I would.”

I nodded and despite my better judgment, asked the question that was racing through my mind.

“Are Bray and Emelia a couple?”

“Wait… what?”

She glanced over at the pair and burst out laughing. I gave her a look of pure confusion and she smiled at me.

“They’re both gay. Bray is basically her big brother and they’ve been best friends since high school. The only person he’s closer to than Em is his boyfriend Spe- uhhhh Scythe.”

“It’s OK Jade, I don’t care if she knows my real name. It’s Spencer. Bray and Jade used their real names, and Emelia is actually Emily. Aeryn is… well… Aaron, just spelled the normal way with two A’s. We all went to the same high school together, and now we’re all in the same college in boring Boulder, Colorado.”

My eyes went wide and my mouth opened in shock. What were the odds?

“No shit?! I’m from Aspen!”

Their eyes went wide and huge smiles spread across their faces.

“Whoa! What are the fucking odds of that happening? Of all the people online playing this game, we happened to come across the highest-level character in the game, who just happens to live a few hours away from us in real life. Ho-ly shit!”

“I know, right?! That’s awesome! We’ll have to meet up here one day. My real name is Allison, but everyone calls me Allie. That’s why I named my original character Allessa… And probably why my master named me Allexus.”

She called the others over and filled them in on everything; our discovery about our real-life distance from each other, and the eerie way the NPC’s had way more control than anyone thought. We walked back to the Hell Gate, and then back into town.

We sold the crossbows and other gear for 600 gold pieces, and the group wanted to split it evenly. I told them to keep my portion and put it in the clan bank, as I knew my master would take anything I had as his own anyhow. We made our way over to the enchantress, and I showed her my list of enchantments. She furrowed her brows and shook her head.

“I’m sorry, dear, I can only remove two of them at most… and… it’ll cost you.”

I let out a heavy sigh.

“How much?”

She smiled and her crooked teeth looked almost like fangs in the candlelight.

“500 gold, and that circlet on your head.”

“400 gold, I keep the circlet, and you keep your eyes.

“500 gold, and…”

As she paused, I interrupted her. I was desperate for these enchantments to be removed, but I was not going to be swindled by this hag.

“And I let you live without using my [Corrupting Touch] on you.”

“Bah! Fine! Pick the two you want removed. After you pay me the gold.”

I was about to plead with my group to borrow the gold, but they already had the large bag full of it ready for me.

“The XP was worth it enough. We don’t need the gold, Allie.”

I nodded and mouthed Thank you to them and handed the sack of coin to the old woman. She eyed it for a second and smiled. After reading the enchantments descriptions, I knew which two I would remove without hesitation.

“[Chains of Command] and [Forced Submission].”

She waved her hands, and I felt a tugging sensation on my body. When it was finished, I checked my stat screen, and nodded to her.

“Can those enchantments be recast on me?”

She shook her head.

“No, not unless you knowingly allow them to be. Now… leave me be… I’m going to have to rest for a week after that one…”

After thanking her, we walked out of her musty shop.

“Allie, why did you choose those two?”

“[Chains of Command] was what allowed him to control my summons and after the shit he put me through with that, it had to go. [Forced Submission] was making me always be submissive to him and not fight back against him in any way.”

Nods of understanding circled around the group, and we made our way to the bounty board. Now that I was already in a party and a clan, far fewer people crowded around me. We turned in the bounty, and each of us was awarded a large amount of experience. I estimated it would get me up to level 28. The others were in awe of just how much experience they had each gained, and they chatted about it the entire walk to the tavern.

After we had a virtual dinner together, we all started to say our goodbyes as it was getting dark outside. Emily pulled me aside from the group and motioned for me to follow her. We walked to a small grove of trees, and she moved very close to me. She reached up and pulled my face to hers and into a passionate kiss. I held her in my arms for a moment, and my entire body felt electric. After a bit, she pulled away, and blushed at me.

“I’m- I’m sorry. I’ve just wanted to do that since you kissed me earlier in the dungeon. I uh- I hope that wasn’t too sudden or-“

I cut her off and pulled her into a tight embrace and a deep, lasting kiss. I felt her relax in my arms and push her body into me. If we weren’t in public, I’d probably have tried to make a move on her, but given that I actually really liked her, I’m glad I didn’t.

“Allie, that was… wow. I liked it. A lot. Thank you. Thank you for interrupting me with that. What I was going to eventually say is that I’d love it if you’d join us up here the next time you have some free time. I’d definitely give you gas money.”

I shook my head and she looked momentarily upset.

“No, I didn’t mean I wouldn’t come see you, I meant you wouldn’t have to give me gas money. Just hanging with you would be enough.”

She blushed again and smiled up at me. I was about to kiss her, when my stupid insecure brain decided to screw it up.

“I uh-I don’t look like this in real life… I’m actually kinda boring. I wish I-“

“Shut up, Allie, and kiss me. I don’t care about that! I like you for your personality. It also doesn’t hurt that your face is fucking gorgeous.”

“You’re not so bad yourself. I’d even go so far as to say a perfect 11 out of 10.”

She kissed me briefly and turned to the entrance to the grove.

“Do we need to strip and put on a show or are you guys going to come over here?”

Now it was my turn to blush as the rest of our clan walked out from behind a large bush. I had been so focused on Emily that I hadn’t noticed them. Good thing this wasn’t a combat situation. They walked up and stared at the pair of us without saying anything.

“We’re just wondering if you actually plan to come hang out with all of us. I mean… I’m cool with you boning my sister, but… we need our badass Demon Paladin Commander to lead us into battle.”

“Ugh. Aaron! Seriously?!”

She ran over and punched him in the arm.

“Hey, you’re just mad because you know it’s completely true.”

Emily turned back to me and mouthed Sorry! and blew me a kiss before the group rounded the bend.

I smiled and was about to run after them, when the ground started spinning. I closed my eyes while the transportation took effect, and when I opened them, I was again standing before my master, who was again sitting nude on his throne with an impatient look on his face.