3.64: I’m pining fir tree puns.

Upon reaching the first room that had been carved into the side of the mostly hollowed out tree, we quickly discovered that we couldn’t proceed any further up the stairs due to a barrier that blocked our way. We surmised that we’d have to clear whatever challenge presented itself on that floor in order to continue our ascent. As we studied the entryway into the connected room, we discovered a shadowed corridor to a single sturdy wooden door. Given that it was our only way forward, we made our way down the tunnel and opened the door slowly after we checked it thoroughly for traps. To the party’s dismay… the only thing that we could see on the other side of the doorway was a faintly shimmering and swirling mist that completely obscured the room.

“So… do we go in the creepy mist room?”

Everyone turned to Xerez as he spoke.

“It seems this is the only way forward… I don’t think we have a choice… but this wasn’t here last time. Hell… the whole giant staircase leading upwards is completely new. While the dungeon was slightly different each time we went through it, it was always a series of progressively harder fights through a sort of maze inside the tree. Once we got to the center of the maze, that’s where the boss was. Now though… I have no clue what to expect.”

After considering his words I let out a slow sigh and then shrugged.

“Well… we made it this far. No sense in turning back now.”

Without a second of hesitation, I took a step forward into the mist. Upon passing the threshold, I found myself in a tiny 20 x 20 wooden room that had high 20 foot walls that extended to the ceiling. The only clue to the direction I was supposed to go was a door that turned out to be locked tight. As I turned to look back at the entrance, I was unsurprised to see that it was no longer present and had been replaced with another wall like the others. I slowly studied each of the walls in my small enclosure, noting several small slits on the left side that I could just barely see through to another room. As Tessa and Nialla spoke quietly, I pressed my lips to the opening and did my best to get their attention.

“Cat! Tessa! Over here!”

The two women ran over to the wall just on the other side of me and we quickly described our surroundings. They were in a slightly larger room, but it too featured nothing but a locked door. Nialla moved to examine the walls in their room and found similar slits on the other side where she was able to locate Shadow and Xerez. She explained what was going on and I was confounded when Tessa relayed that the two men were also in a small locked room. I was just about to attempt to blast my way through when a booming feminine voice rang out.

“Awwww look, so many fun new toys to play with! I’m so excited to have visitors! I think I should play a little game with my new toys… but what game should we play?”

An image flashed on the wall on my left and took the shape of a wooden box with a bow on top. It shook a few times before the lid slid off, and the words “Monster Challenge” appeared.

“Ooooooh, Fun! It’s the Monster Challenge! That’s one of my favorites! I’ll try not to break my new toys so quickly this time… so I think I’ll tell you how the game works. I’m going to spawn a monster in your little rooms that you have to fight in order to make it to the next room. But which room it spawns in and how powerful the monster is is up to the three different groups. Hmmm… Let’s take a look at those levels you guys have…”

I felt the sensation that I was being closely observed and it sent my reflexes into overdrive. I scanned the tight space for a threat, but forced myself to relax when it was obvious whatever entity had trapped us in here seemed merely content to study me.

“Naughty naughty! Some of you are being quite sneaky in my domain…. What should I do about that?”

I jumped back in surprise as the form of a woman stepped out of the nearest wall. She was slightly taller than me and had skin the color of warm cedar. She had glowing green eyes that gleamed with wicked intelligence, and sharp angular facial features that made her look like some sort of noblewoman. Her body was the right combination of curvy and lithe, and her complete lack of clothing forced me to keep my eyes trained solely on her face. Upon hearing the sounds of Tessa and Nialla on the other side of the wall, she waved a hand and the small slits instantly closed up. The woman turned back to me slowly and grinned widely, showing off her large canines in the process.

“Now then… why don’t you tell me who you are and why you are in my domain. I know you’re not level 52… and there’s something else about you that’s… off.”

I sighed softly through my nose as I opened my menu and unequipped my disguise. Upon seeing my face, looks of recognition and amusement were obvious in her expression.

“Well well… The soon-to-be empress herself. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

I glanced towards the wall beside me and the woman rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance.

“The others can’t hear you. Well… most of them can’t anyways. I’m assuming the mage in the room next to you is with you judging from the fact she’s wearing something like you were?”

I nodded my head and the woman looked at me expectantly.

“We’re here to recruit prospective members for our clan. Since I’m looking for players I can trust, we figured there’s no better way to see what type of people they are than to do a dungeon run with them. Given how recognizable I am, though… using a disguise seemed to be the only way I could join a group.”

The woman toyed with her lip with one of her hands as she considered my words carefully. Her eyes studied me closely for a solid minute before a broad grin stretched across her face.

“Since I obviously can’t proceed with this game the normal way, I feel like you and I should have fun another way.”

She gave me a suggestive wink and my eyes widened at the implication. When the woman saw my reaction, she immediately burst into giggles and held up her hand.

“Just kidding! You should have seen the look on your face.”

I leveled my gaze at her and she merely rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip.

“Obviously… any monsters I spawn against you would be simple child’s play. My power is entirely bound within this domain, this… tree. Therefore my level must remain consistent with the rest of it.”

The woman gave me a thoughtful look and her eyes glittered as an idea took hold.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you don’t know anything about Nymphette Demons, right?”

“No. I don’t… but… was… was that a tree pun?”

I watched as she thought back to what she had said and couldn’t stop a smile from forming on my face as she snorted and began to chuckle.

“Heh. That’s a good one! I’m hilarious even when I’m not trying to be. But… back to my point. Nymphette Demons are bound to the tree they inhabit. Being bound in such a way grants us many boons: eternal life and youth for as long as we remain bound and total control of the entirety of our domains. But… for all that we receive from being bound to these trees, they are, ultimately, our prisons. As long as our tree remains intact… we can never leave, never venture a single step beyond our wooden confines.”

She stopped for a moment, allowing me to absorb what she was saying. She held my gaze for a moment before continuing.

“This is true for all of my kind… save for one. The Queen of the Nymphette Demons is able to come and go as she pleases. She is not bound to a tree, instead drawing power from her surroundings much in a way that mages draw in arcane magic.”

She stared at me for a moment, giving me the chance to fill in the blanks on my own.

“Let me guess… you want me to dispose of this Queen for you so you can take her power?”

Her eyes opened widely as she grinned a huge fanged smile.

“Oh, I like you! You’re smarter than all the other stupid toys that have come through here. And after watching you take out Lord Varanix I’m sure you have what it takes to see this through.”

I nodded thoughtfully before cocking an eyebrow.

“True. True. But… what do I get out of it?”

She gave me a look that could only be described as a cheshire grin and pointed to her herself.

“Me, of course. You would gain me as your ally and a new clan member. Having the Queen of the Nymphette Demons supporting you would surely go a long way to furthering whatever goals you have for the future. And before you get any ideas about just attempting to recruit the current Queen, you should know that she takes her job as Ultimate Dungeon Boss very seriously. She’s the final boss of a much higher level dungeon that is comprised of several domains of other Nymphette Demons. Normally I wouldn’t even suggest such a thing for fear she might get wind of it, but with you here… well… that changes things.”

As I leaned back against the nearest wall I drummed my fingers against it as I considered the possibilities.

“Say I agree to this… what are we going to do about the other three people I’m trying to recruit? Surely they wouldn’t be satisfied with what they consider to be an incomplete dungeon run.”

“I’m guessing there’s no chance of you just killing them so we can proceed forward with this plan?”

I gave her a dead-pan look and she simply shrugged and snorted a small laugh. After she teased her lip with the tip of her thumb and forefinger for a moment, she looked up at me.

“Let’s just… pretend it's just another dungeon run. I will spawn a monster that is an adequate challenge for each other team… and you and I can get to know each other better while the others fight.”

She gave me a look that was dripping with entendre and I merely rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly.

“Challenge: yes. Sex: no. If we’re going to do this thing, I’m going to play my part and finish everything with them as a team. What comes next after we finish off the monsters?”

She let out a long sigh and gave me a pouty look. When I ignored it and simply stared at her, she scowled and exhaled loudly through her nose.

“You’ll go through a portal that will lead you back to the staircase. Once you go up, you’ll find another floor with another portal that will take you back here, only this time the other door will be open and you will be able to walk through both rooms freely. From there… normally there’s some sort of puzzle… but I think for the sake of just getting this shit done, you all can fight another monster. It’s supposed to be the hardest one yet, since the next challenge would be fighting against me.”

“And how would you suggest we go about doing that?”

She thought for a moment and then shrugged.

“I can just make a monster that looks like me and control it. I’ll make it appropriately challenging for your group, and you all can beat the shit out of it. I’ll even channel my voice through it so I can do the whole end boss monologue and such.”

“What about item drops? The group will be expecting loot that would be geared towards their classes and possibly one of those items that turns them into demons.”

The woman cocked her eyebrow and tilted her head to the side.

“Oh… those things? Heh… well… see… the thing is… Those items were limited to five total. Once the dungeon doled out the fifth one, I haven’t seen another one since. As far as good drops though… I can use my control over my domain to create several powerful ones. I’m going to guess you just want stuff for your three potential recruits?”

I nodded and she gave me a thumbs up. She gave me an expectant look and I exhaled loudly.

“Alright… you have a deal. I’ll finish up this dungeon with these little nooblets and then go kill your Queen. Sound good?”

“Indeed, Allexus.”

I gave her a funny look as I realized I didn’t even know her name. As if sensing what I was thinking she extended her hand.

“Harrow.”

“I look forward to having the Queen of the Nymphettes on my side, Harrow.”