3.49: What 4th wall?
As I stepped through the portal, I suddenly found myself standing in a furnished living room of what appeared to be an apartment. Three dogs began barking at my sudden appearance and were quickly shushed by a tall woman sitting on a brown couch. As I looked around in confusion, I drew my weapons in response as the woman pushed the table she was sitting at away from her and slowly rose to her feet. She stood over 6 feet tall, was heavy set, but had strangely familiar features on her face. Her eyes sparkled in the light from the lamps around the room and I saw that they were the identical color of my own, even with the small brown blots of color in the middle. She had the exact same skin tone as I did, and her long curly brown hair was practically identical to my own in my real body. As she gave me a warm smile she raised her hands in a gesture to show she was unarmed, and she spoke in a voice that somehow brought feelings of deja vu.
“Hold up Allie, It’s ok. I promise you are safe. I know you’re in a hurry to rescue your clan mates, and I promise that I’ll send you back like no time has passed, OK? Can you uh… sheathe those swords, I know better than anyone how deadly they are.”
I arced an eyebrow, but something in her tone told me I could trust her, so I sheathed them and crossed my arms over my chest.
“You are even more intimidating in person… I really did an excellent job creating you.”
My brain suddenly froze at hearing the odd statement.
“Creating me? What the fuck does that mean? What… are you some kind of goddess?”
The woman scoffed loudly and gave me a cheery grin as she shook her head.
“Hardly. You already know you’re a character in a book, yes?”
“Yes. I’ve broken the 4th wall enough throughout this story to make that more than obvious.”
I let out a small chuckle as I instantly realized who the woman in front of me was. I immediately relaxed and took a seat on the leather sofa opposite from her.
“So… what brings me to the presence of my dear author, Miss…?”
“Mrs. And… about that… So… I promise I’m not in any way egotistical… but you’re actually named after me. Like… your whole name.”
“Ah. That also explains why you look so similar to me. Although… Damn… you are tall. Any particular reason you didn’t make me that tall?”
My author snorted at that and let out a wistful sigh.
“Grass is greener and all that. But… I’m sure you already guessed that I brought you here for a reason, so… may as well get to it.”
As her brows furrowed, she pursed her lips and gave me a serious look.
“I discovered someone recently stole my story. Our story? Doesn’t matter. The point is, someone using the profile name Logan Johnny copied our story from one of the sites we have it posted on, gave it an absolutely stupid title, rewrote the synopsis using words I would never have written, and then just posted everything, word-for-fucking-word, all the way up to the chapter where Tiffany comes out to you and the rest of the clan and then subsequently professes her feelings for Jade.”
It was strange hearing her talk about events that were so fresh in my memory like she had been there. I guess, in a way, she had been. As I followed this train of thought, I let out a small sigh of discomfort as I considered the implications of… everything. Was I even really in control of my own actions? Were my thoughts my own… or merely a reflection of what this woman wanted me to say?
As if sensing what I was thinking, the woman got up from the couch and walked across the room to sit next to me.
“Hey, no existential crisis. I promise… when I write, I do so as if it were you. I have you and all the others fully fleshed out in my mind, and I write all characters as if they are writing it themselves. So… while I am the one writing the words, they are and will always continue to be your own.”
I let out a small sigh of relief and gave her a grateful smile. As my mind drifted back to the topic at hand, I shot her a curious look.
“So… if I may ask, why am I here?”
The tall woman gave me a smirk, which morphed into a broad grin. I thought for a moment and then shook my head as I guessed her intentions.
“You want to make any further thefts rather difficult by including yourself in the story. I’m assuming this is also going to be relevant to the plot, so that they can’t just delete this part in an attempt to hide any theft?”
“If you weren’t basically my daughter I’d kiss you. I’m not surprised you were able to guess what I was thinking. Your tactical mind greatly outshines my own. It’s one of the reasons you are my favorite character. Although… your soon to be wife is rapidly growing on me.”
She gave me a wink and I rolled my eyes at her. My eyes widened as I thought of something, and before I could stop them the words tumbled out of my mouth.
“When are we getting married? Is it going to be soon? Do Emily and I get a house? Does she get a job here in Colorado? Do we-”
My mouth snapped shut as the woman held up her hand and shook her head.
“Nope. No spoilers. Especially for you. Think of the repercussions of what that would mean… or just consider that I don’t want my readers to know what’s going to happen ahead of time.”
Something about the woman’s tone told me she wasn’t being completely honest, and as I considered the similarities I shared with her, I instantly knew the reason why.
“You don’t know yet… Do you? If I’m like you… and I have major difficulty making plans more than five minutes in advance… then that likely means you do as well. You probably don’t even have an outline for this story. Wait… do you even have an ending?”
My author’s face flushed and she let out an exasperated sigh. She held up a single finger and pointed it at me as she narrowed her eyes.
“Hush you. You’re too damn smart for your own good, Allie.”
She leaned back into the couch and wore a sullen expression.
“Called out by my own character… Ouch.”
She scoffed through her nose and turned towards me with an eyebrow raised.
“So…Miss Know-it-all, any thoughts on how I should make this whole thing relevant to the plot?”
I considered for a moment and drummed my index finger on my lip. After almost a minute I smiled as I thought of something.
“What about if you gave me some sort of item that I can frequently reference and make note that it was given to me by my author?”
She tapped her nose a few times as she considered my suggestion.
“I think that could work. But it needs to be something major… something that can’t be explained away by simply removing this entire section. Kyra is already going to make you a legendary set of custom armor for when you become the empress, so armor isn’t an option.”
My eyebrows rose at hearing about the fact that I will indeed become the empress and that I would get a full set of armor to go along with my title. Upon seeing my expression, my author did a facepalm.
“Yeah… I just gave you a spoiler didn’t I? I mean… your story is called How I became the Empress of Hell, so… it should be obvious that you do eventually get the title. As for the armor… please at least act surprised when Kyra presents it to you. She is working extra hard on it and doing everything she can to keep it secret from you. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t suspect anything when she took all those measurements for your new sword.”
“New sword?”
“Oh goddamnit.”
I chuckled loudly and my author’s expression of frustration morphed into a smile.
“OK! Enough accidental spoilers. Jeez… if we don’t figure this thing out soon I might end up unintentionally telling you everything that I have planned.”
“Which, from what you said earlier… isn’t a whole lot.”
Her mouth opened in shock as she scoffed at me. She held up her finger and started to say something, and then her mouth snapped closed as she reconsidered. I couldn’t help but laugh as I shrugged playfully and stuck my tongue out at her.
“You’re the one who wrote me, dearest author mine. All this snark and sarcasm coming your way is purely your own doing.”
She glared at me for a moment before letting out a long sigh and then giving me a sly grin.
“Got it. Make Allie find a newfound love for abstinence going forward.”
It was my turn to adopt a look of shock as I considered what she had just said. Before I could reply, she cocked an eyebrow and laughed softly.
“Don’t dish it out if you’re not prepared to take it… I may not be a goddess, but I do have the power to alter the course of your story according to my whims.”
She cleared her throat and then did her best to adopt a more serious expression.
“Now then, before we both get too distracted… let’s figure out this item thing and get you back to saving your clan members.”
As I thought for a moment I stared at the tall woman sitting in front of me. I could tell she was studying me just as intently as I was her, and I wondered just how much of herself she had reflected within me. As she rolled up one of the sleeves of her black hoodie to scratch her arm, I saw a dazzling array of colorful tattoos starting from the top of her hand covering nearly every inch of her forearm. Without thinking, I reached forward and grabbed her hand to get a better look at her tattoos.
“These are so pretty! Can I see them?”
She gave me a huge excited grin and immediately shifted up to remove the hoodie. Underneath, she wore a simple green tank top and a black sports bra. It was obvious that her boobs were way bigger than mine, and I looked at them with jealousy for a moment before taking in the sight of her tattooed skin. Both of her arms were completely covered in absolutely gorgeous tattoos, the right one seemed to be all sorts of different roses and had a sort of dryad pin-up girl laying in a bed of roses. The left one seemed to be filled with flowing forms of fire and various bursts of colorful magic being cast by different kinds of beautiful demons and angels. All of the art that covered her skin was done in a flowy water-color style, and it matched the contours of her arms perfectly.
“They’re… gorgeous. I sorta always wanted a tattoo, but I’ve been too chicken to get one by myself.”
As her eyes suddenly grew wide, she snapped and pointed at me. I instantly knew what she was going to say and I started nodding before the words were out of her mouth.
“That’s perfect! We can give Allexus full sleeve tattoos like I have. Let’s see asshat thieves try to explain that. Now we just gotta figure out what they’re gonna look like.”
I looked down at her arm again and she caught me admiring the pin-up girl.
“What about the nude forms of Emelia, Nialla, Gehenna, and all your other potential demon wives. Of course, should any of them change forms, the tattoos will shift accordingly. And there will be room to add more as you grow your harem.”
“You do know I’m only one woman, right? As much as I love sex, which, as you know, is an absolute fuck-ton, I won’t have the time to satisfy many more lovers. Even with the time dilation and your absurd need to fill my days with a ridiculous number of events, that still leaves me with little time to do much beyond simply staying in bed all day to fuck everyone’s brains out.”
My author gave me a wry smile and rolled her eyes.
“Oh no… just think of how horrible all the huge lesbian orgies will be… the absolute horror.”
When I merely scoffed at her and narrowed my eyes, she placed a hand on my leg and gave me a reassuring smile.
“Look… I’ve gotten you this far, haven’t I? Do you trust me?”
Considering I had just met this woman less than 5 minutes ago I should have said no, but the truth was that I both knew I could trust her and I already did trust her implicitly. I nodded my head and smiled back at her. Her grin widened, flashing a sexy smile.
“Good. So… It’s settled. Now then, despite you being right handed, I think you should have Em on your left, so you can have the tattoo come down to your hand and swirl around your ring finger to go along with the wedding ring you’re having made.”
As I pictured the image my heart rate increased at how awesome the tattoo would look and just how perfect that idea was. My author really did know exactly what I liked, and I instantly knew that whatever she had planned, it would be completely amazing.
“Your left arm is going to be solely devoted to Emelia. Which I’m assuming is ok with you?”
I nodded enthusiastically and she continued.
“Awesome. I’m thinking of having her channeling a spell in a cool pose surrounded by crystalline ice on the outside of your arm, and on the inside it’ll be an image of the two of you intertwined in a very sexy, yet incredibly loving pose.”
“I fucking love that… this is going to be so fucking epic.”
Instead of replying, she simply nodded happily and continued.
“On your right, we’ll have Gehenna on the exterior of your arm surrounded by black flames that go all the way up to the top of your shoulder. Nialla will be on the interior of your arm, surrounded by blue and white lightning that goes up to your armpit. The tattoo will, of course, shift as you add more wives to your sexy demon harem. How does that sound?”
“Fucking awesome. I can’t wait!”
As I thought about how the others would react to seeing my new tattoos, I cocked my head to the side as I considered how exactly I was going to explain the changes to everyone. My author noticed the look of confusion on my face and her own expression soon mirrored my own.
“What’s up, Allie? What are you thinking about?”
“How in the absolute fuck do I explain the tattoos… explain…all of this… you?”
She suddenly looked thoughtful as she tapped the side of her nose.
“Given that the others have occasionally broken the 4th wall, Jade mostly, I think just simply stating the truth is the best course of action. Just tell them it’s a gift from your author who you are named after, and they’ll instantly accept it. While it may be out of character for them, I’m OK with taking a few liberties when it comes to this major breach of the 4th wall.”
I nodded, not really understanding but knowing that my author would ensure everything made sense in the end. As much as it could, anyways. When I smiled at her again, she nodded her head and moved like she was about to get up. Instead, she turned towards me and gently took my hand, moving it in a way to indicate she wanted me to stand up. As I did so, I blushed awkwardly as much as my demon body would allow while she studied me closely.
“Sorry… I’m just so happy with how you’ve turned out, Allie. You really are like a daughter to me. I know you as well as I know myself… so seeing you in front of me is… well it’s something I never expected.”
“Should I just call you mom?”
My heart hurt a little as I thought about what I had just said, and I instantly knew that my author knew that I hadn’t completely thought through the statement before I spoke it aloud. Instead of saying anything about it, she simply gave me a wry grin and rolled her eyes.
“Please… I’m only 8 years older than you… I said you’re like a daughter to me… not that you are my daughter. Brat.”
I started to give a snarky reply, but she simply held up her hand as she chuckled softly.
“I know, I know… I made you this way.”
She stood up suddenly and I again marveled at just how tall she was. Despite being in my demonic form that absolutely craved dominance and control, being next to her almost made me swoon as I imagined her sweeping me up into her strong looking tattooed arms. She broke me out of my internal musings by placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Alright… we better get you back. I’m sure the readers are tired of this extremely extended self-insert. Any lingering questions I can answer that won’t give away any more spoilers?”
“Will I see you again?”
She looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging.
“Honestly? I’m not sure. Most likely not, considering the circumstances of this meeting. But… Should something like that happen again, we’ll evaluate and go from there. Just know that I’ll always be rooting for you and I will always have your back… even if it doesn’t feel like it.”
I really didn’t like the sound of that… but before I could reply, she held up her hand and gestured behind me. A swirling black portal had suddenly appeared in her living room, and she looked at it like it was the most ordinary thing in the world before looking back at me. I gave her an awkward smile and was about to turn towards the portal when she reached out and pulled me into a tight hug. I returned the gesture and sighed happily. As I pulled away, she gave me one final smile before she walked around the table and sat back on the couch in front of her computer. As I moved closer to the portal, I turned towards the woman who had given me her name and had literally created me, and gave her a small wave.
“Take it easy, the real Mrs. Allison Rose Raynier.”
“You as well, Miss soon to be Mrs. Allie Raynier.”
Without another thought, I turned and walked through the portal.