Case 77: To a waltz along the river of time.

Some time after I slept with Kiara.

''Hah... hah... hgn...''

''...''

Closing my tired eyes for good, I leaned back on the bathroom wall. Sitting on the cold, hard floor felt painful. The fresh, unbearably metallic taste of blood clung to my mouth, and I couldn't breathe a clean gasp of air without that fishy scent overwhelming my nose.

I wanted to rest.

I really, really wanted to rest.

''...Lucy.''

[I know. Clean up this place, yeah?]

''Mhm. I'll nap for a while...''

[What about dinner?]

''I don't feel like it...''

As the lamb's voice slowly faded away, so did mine. Little by little, my consciousness slipped away. It felt a bit comforting—a bit peaceful, knowing nothing could hurt me in my slumber.

...

By the time I sluggishly pried my eyes open, I was already lying on my bed, nicely tucked inside the warm quilt. The room was quiet, remained only the faint rustling of pages being flipped.

''Ugh...''

Enduring a ringing headache, I mustered the last bits of my energy and sat up. Right then, the person at my desk gently closed the book, perhaps noticing me.

It was Lyra.

I wasn't sure if my barely recovered senses were doing something strange or not, but my little sister seemed oddly... mature today. No, maybe she always was like that.

I used to see her as... well, my little sister, with the word 'little' being emphasized. She hugged her pet like a doll all the time, and her antics were indeed a bit childish.

But... at some point, that must have changed a bit.

Time passed, and she grew up. The child who was short and thin the other day now barely fit in my embrace. Her hair grew longer, her facial features got sharper, and she got much, much shrewder.

''You're up.''

''...''

In the spotless silence, Lyra's calm, slightly deep voice sounded. It was a stark contrast to her more adolescent voice mere months ago.

I was once again reminded of how harrowing time could be.

In a way, perhaps this girl was my hope and despair. Watching her grow up was both fulfilling and... agonizing. For each step she took forward, I would take one backward—this was the nature of our relationship.

Sometimes, I inevitably thought of freeing myself from this misery. Sometimes, I inevitably thought of continuing life without regard for others. Yet, I couldn't.

I wasn't sure how long I could cling to my humanity, yet I kept trying. I didn't want to disappoint the people who put their trust in me. So selfishly. So stubbornly.

But... it was hard. It was really hard sometimes.

I wanted to rip my skin off whenever I vomited blood. I wanted to keep sleeping forever on those nights.

I wanted to tell someone and cry about it. No, I knew they wouldn't accept me.

I—

''Are you sick?''

''...Lyra.''

''Lie down. I'll bring dinner.''

''No, just...''

''...''

''Just stay here with me.''

I wasn't sure if my face and expression were proper. Still, my thoughtful little sister only sat down and held my hand, wanting to comfort me. Under her nudging gaze, I sighed and obediently lied down again.

''Sorry. For being such a nuisance.'' I softly said.

''You're my family. It's only natural.''

Lyra gazed out the window, her eyes resting somewhere between the distant city's sea of light. Was it a good or a bad thing that I found her back reassuring?

Well, I suppose she was the heroine.

''Big sis.''

''Hm?''

Lyra's hand tightened around mine.

''You'll stay here with me forever... right?''

''That...''

For the first time, her voice lacked confidence. For the first time, she showed a tangible weakness to me. From the shaky tone of hers and her hand, it was apparent what she felt at the moment.

I wanted to reassure her, saying 'yes, I will stay with you to the end,' but I couldn't bring myself to do it. If I lied now, I felt she would be able to tell.

In a way, perhaps my silence was the perfect answer, in the sense that it was truthful.

Of course, just because it was truthful didn't mean everybody loved it.

''Promise me.''

Especially not Lyra.

Turning to me with her elegant brows narrowed, she closely grasped my hand and pleaded, ''Promise me you'll get healthier and stay with me forever.''

''...''

I could only smile.

Even if I wanted to say something, it would only hurt both of us. So, I pulled her closer, putting her in my embrace.

''Heheh. I'm afraid you'd be the one embracing me soon.'' I chuckled. ''But remember, Lyra.''

''...''

''No matter how much you have grown up, no matter where you are or who you are with, you will still be my precious, precious little sister, okay?''

For a while, I stroked her head in silence.

Ah, really. Why would I need to deal with such heavy moments when my body was so tattered like this?

Eventually, Lyra lifted her scrunched-up face and spoke with her arms tightly locked behind me, ''Why... why do you say it like you're leaving someday?''

...Because I would be leaving someday.

Mhm. I probably couldn't say that.

And... I didn't have anything else to say, either.

On this constant, irreversible river of time, she and I were taking a waltz—a beautiful waltz between two polar opposite existences, perhaps. But I must release her hand at some point.

When she became old enough not to trip and fall into the cold water.

When she found someone she could share the dance with.

And when I would be ready to depart.

Until then...

''...Can you stay with me?''

*****

A screeching winter day.

''Phew...''

Returning from her usual lesson, Lyra felt the empty hallway stretching beyond her horizon. Endless.

Before she or anybody could prepare for it, time had caught up to them. Spring came, summer passed, fall fell through, and winter parted.

It had been almost three years since Lyra met her big sister.

Three years since a meaning was given to her life.

Now, at the age of fifteen, she was just a perfect, proper lady. Although her growth spurt had yet to end, the heroine already stood taller than her sister, showing many imminent traces of a class beauty.

More than her looks, Lyra de Orleans was a name often mentioned in discussions about the next generation's zenith.

Not that she cared about it one bit.

Despite having such a bright future, her mind was always occupied by a constant worry.

''...''

Standing in front of her older sister's room, Lyra hesitated for a moment before clicking the door open. One step. Two steps. Only after a hold did the person sitting beside the window notice her.

''...Ah, Lyra.''

A bit dully, the woman with sky-blue hair turned around. Something about her stare seemed distant. Something about her movement felt off. Something about her voice sounded weak.

And... something about her smile... felt so fragile.

''...''

Looking at that scene, Lyra gritted her teeth. Her fists clenched—clenched to the point her fingernails dug into her own palms.

Her big sister's condition... was getting worse.

*****