Scumbag

[Yuito's POV]

There were still 9 days until the holiday ended so I used that time to the fullest to heal myself.

I would spend most of the days outside, under the sun. It was because sunlight was energy and with my Sun Breathing, I could utilize that energy and use it to strengthen myself or in this case, heal myself.

Marin and Komi were my loyal visitors with Komi visiting me a bit more often than my actual girlfriend. It was because her father was still in Japan and she had to spend time with him too.

Komi and I began our session of teaching her how to communicate again. It has been successful so far.

We would sit in our yard under the sun every day. It was an everyday picnic, to be honest, and Komi was slowly learning how to speak and show emotions.

She could now say a few words like, 'No', 'Yes, 'Cute' and weirdly enough 'Ara ara'.

I also noticed that as she spent more time with me, her emotions slowly surfaced on her dolly face. It was not weird anymore to see her with a slight smile when she was with me.

Her eyes are the part of her body that has become most expressive. Droppy eyes, closed eyes, wide eyes, I taught her how to use all these so she could express herself more.

I was healing quicker than I expected and my fingers were healed in a mere 5 days, but I still acted like it hurt so that Sumire could continue taking care of me.

But I think she already knows and was just playing along with me. She seemed to enjoy doing lewd things and spoiling me just as much as I did.

Now, it was the last day of the holiday, and like usual, me and Komi were sitting in our yard under the sun.

The rays of the sun felt the most pleasant as winter was already here. It was the month of December and in that frigid atmosphere, the sun was a saviour from the freezing air.

"Yuito."

"Yuito."

"Yuito."

Komi whispered my name to herself while she smelled and played with the small blades of grass she had pulled from the ground.

Her voice was soft and her tone was that of secrecy, meaning she did not intend for anyone to hear it but I did.

My name had quickly become her favorite word among the few words she could say.

She was wearing a white dress with a thin blue jacket on top. She was also wearing a cute hat the color of straw to protect her porcelain face.

I did not know if it was intended but the dress she wore was thin and fit her very well, which displayed her perfect figure for anyone to see.

Her jacket was also opened so I could peek at her milky white cleavage which was more pronounced since every other part of her was covered.

Lately, I have caught myself staring at her like this and it was starting to scare me. I am worried that I would fall for her the same way I did for Marin.

Especially since she had been spending lots of time with me recently. I have been helping her have the courage to communicate so she was always on my mind.

And I feel like an absolute trash for it. But at the same time, I could not find it in myself to push her away just because I may be developing feelings for her more than that of friends.

I flinched back when blushed and turned to look at me. Her cat-like eyes gained a sharp mischievous pep while she gestured some things with her hand.

(Why are you always staring at me?)

[Komi's Language : Advanced -> Master]

"S-Staring? Pftt I'm not staring." I said, a bit flustered at being caught but I quickly gained confidence. It was weird, I was never flustered or nervous with her before.

She narrowed her eyes and covered her visible cleavage before she turned protectively away from me.

'So she could feel my gaze.'

I coughed a few times and changed the subject, "Um have you done the holiday projects?"

She giggled to herself while looking at me. Was a mute really teasing me? How far have I fallen?

(I've finished it a long time ago?) she said with her body language, (Both me and Marin did it together.)

"That's good." I said, I hadn't done mine but I'm sure the teachers would understand since I went to Korea and all.

There was a pleasing silence between us as we just enjoyed the sun for a moment. This was one of the reasons why I liked spending time with Komi, she was just so quiet and vibe.

But what I am about to do was going to destroy this pleasant vibe.

"Hey Komi, do you remember what happened, between you and me." I asked and from the way she looked down and blushed, I knew she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"It was when Marin fell sick."

"I know." She said in a voice so small it could be stolen away by a strong wind.

I have been avoiding this topic for a long time and I loved pretending that it never happened. It was because I did something which I hated the most.

I made a mistake, eerily similar to Tsukimi.

I promised myself that I would apologize properly when I met Tuskimi again but I have been back for 8 days now and still no apology.

But insted of just apologizing, I was going to tell the truth.

I have thought about it for more than a week. Being unable to move properly and having to stay in one place so I could heal gave me a lot of time to think.

That's why I wanted to be honest and say my true feelings right now.

I am going to be completely honest with myself and her.

"I need you to know my true feelings on what happened that day."

Komi had her head low and I couldn't see her eyes anymore. But I continue my words.

"I don't think I even had the chance to say it at the time but I want you to know." I said and a tense silence descended between us.

"I am not sorry for what I did."

.

.

.

"huh?" Komi did a double-take before she quickly turned to me in surprise. I noticed she had small droplets of tears in her eyes.

That's right. You didn't hear it wrong Komi.

"I am not sorry for what happened between us." I said it again. Maybe I felt guilty towards Marin but I was not sorry.

What happened between us was a mistake, I wouldn't deny that but it was not a bad mistake.

It was not mistake that I regret.

I didn't regret it.

Because I would do it again.

"I knew I should not feel this way but, I like you Komi. I don't want you to be with anyone else."

I am a scumbag and I am tired of pretending I was not. I am a hypocrite.

The guilt I felt and the regret were all there because I was trying to be good and deep down I don't want to admit that I was a scumbag.

But now I will admit it. I am a scumbag.

I am selfish.

*Ting!!*

[New Title gained : Scumbag]

The way I came to this conclusion and accepted it was simple. During the times I spent with Komi, I started imagining that Komi and I remained friends.

I imagined her finding a good man - it was Tadano in my mind - and living happily. I imagined her laughing with him, crying with him and having sex with him.

And that made my blood boil beyond belief.

I did not want that. Fuck I hated the very idea of it.

That was enough for me to make a move because I have a very bad history of not making a move I end up destroying everything but not doing anything.

I did not know if I felt the same way about Komi as I did with Marin. I was still not sure if I loved her but one thing was true.

I did not want someone else to be with her. I will not give her away.

I want her to be mine. I will make her mine, even if I have to be a scumbag because of it.

mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine.

So yeah, I did not regret those moments. I did not regret destroying the friendship between in the pursuit of something more.

One thing though was I felt ashamed and felt sorry for Marin. But not to the point that I regret it.

Because I believe I can make it work. I can make it work between Marin, Komi and Sumire.

I already had two lovers, what was one more. I valued Komi more than I did my pride or dignity.

And if Marin can't forgive me and wants to leave me for adding another girl. Then...

I will not let her leave obviously but I will find a way.

I will do it. I am a scumbag and I will do it.

Maybe I was given the incubus bloodline for a reason because I will not give any of the grils away to anyone.

I will make anyone I love mine.

Morals be damned.

"Hmm!!" Komi threw herself at me and hugged me while sobbing softly.

"I'm glad." she said in her sweet and soft voice.

"I'm not sorry too." She said and suddenly pushed her soft lips against mine.

Well, would you look at that? Kissing the boyfriend of her best friend.

She was not so innocent as well. But I guess every human was a sinner and selfish in their core.

Or maybe it was love.

The world and everyone else did not matter when you are in love.

Like how Sumire rejects society, morals and her own motherhood because she loves me.

Like how Marin ignored the relationship I had with my mother and her own self worth just to love me.

Like how Komi was willing to jump in my arms the instant I told her I liked her even though I was her best friend.

Or how I was willing to throw away my own pride and morals just so I could love all of them.

Yes.

Love was a scumbag.

Love was selfish.

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Author : Horrible news. I lost two chapters, the one chapter before this and the next one. I delete it by accident when I managed my on my phone. I am away for Christmas and the place had no wifi so it was bad internet which cause the accident.

Luckily it does not affect the story much because it was Komi's POV chapters but it was important for the emotion and built up for this.

Hopefully I edit this one a bit and I will try to rewrite the next chapter again.

Please excuse me if the chapters feel a bit out of place and weird

What a bad way to celebrate Christmas.