Chapter 162: I Am Now A Monkey’s Uncle!

Chapter 162: I Am Now A Monkey's Uncle!

I thought I was only falling for that idiot girl on the tree branch. I completely failed to realize that dating a movie and music idol would instantly propel me onto the world stage of gossip, envy, and pure hatred!

So that evening, right after the show wrapped up, my harem officially let Kate enter and take the final available slot of twelve official harem members.

This leaves me with twelve companions and one secret administrator who would only leave my side after death—and might even follow me to the next "Earth: just to do it all over again.

The very next day, both Jean Jia and my brand-new girlfriend, Kate, came along with me to the theater for the Saturday evening performance.

Kate sat right on the leather back seat with me, clinging tightly to my arm like a triumphant newlywed who had just successfully captured her target.

Jean Jia looked back from the front cabin, scrolling through her tablet screen. "Oh my! Kate and Rick, it seems someone last night took a video of the two of you embracing and kissing!" Jean announced, her voice filled with mock surprise. "And they even managed to get a perfect closeup of you two officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, oh my?!"

My Acting Advanced immediately smells the complete bullshit coming from her mouth, and the distinct look of a job well done is written all over her eyes, sigh. Kate, entirely unbothered, said proudly while holding my arm even tighter against her chest.

"So what? We have known each other for nine years, and Rick loves me," Kate countered, tossing her head back. "Plus, I am happy now, and that bitch Ana can go suck an egg—or two, fufu."

I look down at Kate being incredibly petty and ask the obvious question. "Wait... Did you kiss me on stage just to show off to Ana?!" I pressed, raising an eyebrow.

Her red, squinting eyes looked up at me with absolute playfulness as she leaned in closer. "Oh? Was Ana watching?" Kate teased, tapping her chin. "Hmm... Maybe."

Jean held up her screen to display the social media platform that many entertainers and managers use to track trends.

"Rick, it seems you are trending everywhere with Kate," Jean revealed, showing me the metrics. "Everyone wants to know who this mystery man with Kate is, and the name Rick Lee-Tang is spreading like wildfire. You have just become famous overnight, ha-ha. Oh, even better news! I received an official email from Lucy Shen. She wants me to formally become your agent. She said she is far too busy with her husband's matters in Black State to be dealing with your newfound high-profile exposure. What do you say, Mr. Tang?"

Kate eagerly shook my arm, encouraging me to sign on the spot. "Rick, if we have the exact same agent, getting movie roles together is going to be way easier," Kate pointed out, her eyes shining. "It will be like we are a real celebrity power couple, fufu."

Looking at the two of them, I feel like I am trapped in a moving car with a pair of hungry sharks. "Only if Mrs. Shen explicitly says so, sure," I reluctantly agreed.

Then, filled with sudden joy, Kate pulled me into her arms for a tight hug.

After the chaotic weekend finally passed, reporters had been constantly hounding me at the University campus and blocking the main entrance to The Garden Estates. Somehow the media found out that Kate and I lived in the exact same luxury community, and they knew our romantic relationship was real.

Pam Sun, maintaining a thoroughly displeased look on her face, always told reporters a blunt "No comment" whenever she was asked about Kate and her boss's husband dating. Yes, the press was significantly more excited about the scandalous narrative that Victoria Long and Kate Kong were sharing the exact same man.

Then my old acting videos went completely viral across the internet, ranging from my commercial spots to my tournament fighting footage. And now with the theater play added to the mix, the entertainment community was in an absolute tizzy.

I later found out the truth from Lucy over an encrypted line. She indeed wanted Jean to take me on as a client due to the fact that Lucy would have had to step into the public eye to manage it, which would draw unwanted scrutiny from Central. Lucy also highly encouraged my new acting career because the leadership in Central would never suspect that the Yellow Emperor would ever sink so low as to become a lowly actor. So, reluctantly, I will fully embrace this persona of entertainment.

April 1st is finally upon me, and today, I marry Tina Feng officially.

Inside the spacious Tang stretch limousine, my wives and I are heading out to the high-end Country Club for our wedding ceremony. Linda looked across the seats, saying smugly to Tina. "To think a Lang woman will join in the festivities with the Feng family," Linda noted, tapping her nails against her purse.

Tina, looking stunning in her low-cut white wedding dress, merely shrugs her shoulders and completely blows her off. "Sorry, I am so incredibly happy to finally marry my husband today," Tina replied smoothly. "I will willingly ignore the small presence of a turtle, ufufu."

Victoria, Mary, Hana, Nichole, Nadia, Linda, and I are the only guests from our household coming to today's small event. Jenifer and Hinata are riding in the following car along with our heavy security detail.

Kim, Kate, Mei, and Mercy have all opted to stay behind at the mansion with the newborn children, and our safety is fully guaranteed with all the Feng and Fire Birds security personnel stationed around the perimeter. Jenifer and Hinata are deeply tied to the Feng family and the syndicate operations, so their presence at the venue is expected.

Victoria, thoroughly used to the girls' playful banter by now, just added her own thoughts. "It is the absolute best venue for a double wedding and after-party," Victoria noted, looking out the window. "With Ashley and James also getting married today, it feels even more exciting. Especially when the two syndicates will be closer than ever before. The Dragon and the Phoenix."

I smile quietly at her choice of words, for she does not know that I am viewed as a Dragon by the secret factions, while Tina represents the Phoenix. So we are joining our forces anyway.

Nichole smiled warmly, letting out a sigh of pure relief. "I am just happy that I can finally have wine again," Nichole admitted with a grin. "I think that was easily the hardest part of being pregnant for me."

Mary's eyes lit up at the comment, and she nodded her head in total agreement. "You are completely right!" Mary chimed in. "I miss beer so much, but I am only drinking a very little bit until I have fully healed back to my previous state—well, as close as a woman can get after giving birth, fufu."

Hana, hearing their complaints, rubbed her excessively large belly. She is almost ready to give birth in a week or so. She smiled and agreed with the sentiment. "For me, I just want my normal clothing back," Hana confessed. "And fortunately, we all took exceptionally good care of our skin to minimize our stretch marks. We should all look pretty close to how we were before, provided we stick to the right workouts, diet, and creams for our skin."

Tina added her own perspective. "Mother was kind enough to give us her personal tips for it," Tina noted, turning to me. "And she had me and my sister, and she still has a pretty firm belly, right, Rick?"

Watch out! Dangerous landmine detected!

"Actually, I have not looked closely," I answered rapidly, keeping my face completely blank. "But your mother at first glance does not look like a mother at all."

Good job, self. I think I successfully steered the Titanic right around the massive iceberg. Tina only smiled happily at my quick answer. No way, I am staying far away from married mothers! Um, well, the twins don't count in that rule.

Soon, the limousine pulled up to the front entrance, and we all arrived at the venue.

When we all climbed out of the two vehicles, I immediately saw James, Ashley, Jenny Washington, and a very pregnant Akeno waiting near the steps. She is due to deliver a bit after Hana, if I remember right.

Jenny Washington was an immigrant along with her family to Eurasia, but due to making some terrible financial choices, she had gotten deeply into debt with the Song family. As a result, Jen was forced to do high-end prostitution for a short time to pay it off. Fortunately, she met James during her very first week on the job, and Jim was instantly smitten with her.

Ashley eventually paid off her entire debt out of pocket due to genuinely liking Jen's company. Later on, I find out that Jen officially joined the Hidden Dragons under Ashley as part of her agreement for freedom, but meh, that is not my issue to deal with.

James, looking sharp in his black suit, smiled broadly the moment he saw my face. He stepped forward for a heavy man hug. "Rick, we have been brothers for years now," James said, his voice cracking slightly with emotion. "And today, we both marry our wives together. I really want to cry happy tears right now, brother!"

"Ha-ha, yeah," I replied, clapping him on the back. "I think this is a major step in our future business empire. Well, we will technically be family after today. Let's go inside. Hana and Akeno look like they will pop if we make them stand out here too long, and I don't think either of us wants to spend our honeymoons in the maternity ward, right?"

So we smartly escorted all the ladies through the front doors. Unlike normal operations, the high-end restaurant attached to the Country Club is fully closed to outside customers for this exclusive wedding banquet.

Inside the main dining hall, both Daniel and Tony Feng had been actively chatting with Lane Feng, who was standing quietly to her husband's side. But the exact moment they saw our large group walk into the room, their smiles blossomed.

Standing right near Daniel Feng was a powerful man who strongly resembled Ashley Hue—Leader Hue himself, a tall man with short blonde hair and striking pink eyes. He smiled warmly as he saw his daughter walking next to me, Tina, and James.

Leader Hue stepped forward to give his daughter, who was wearing a conservative white wedding dress, a loving hug. "Ash, my daughter, I am here today to see you happy," Leader Hue said, looking over at us. "And soon, I will officially step down to leave the operations for you and the next generation. And you, Mr. Tang... Thank you for being such good friends with Ashley, even with our complicated past history."

"She is my family too, so I will always look after her," I stated, offering a respectful nod. "And the fact that she and my best friend are joining their lives today just means it is doubly important that she stays safe. As for the past, it is entirely in the past."

Daniel pats my back with a hearty laugh, turning to address his old rival leader. "Rick and Tina will do a fantastic job on our end," Daniel Feng declared, looking thoroughly pleased. "So the Crouching Tigers won't be able to bully you guys anymore, ha-ha! Well, Rick is a Tiger too, so that's great! Am I right, Tony?"

Tony nodded, a broad smile spreading across his face. He pointed over toward Anthony and spoke up so the table could hear. "Well, this is a big day for the Feng and the Tang families," Tony Feng noted, his voice full of pride. "So I can't be more thrilled that Tina is finally leaving the nest, though her mother is admittedly sad about it."

Lane Feng took my arm on the other side of Tina, leaning in with a playful wink as she countered her husband's words. "I won't be sad at all," Lane joked, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "She brought me home a thoroughly good son, right, Rick? So you can go ahead and call me mom, ufufu."

"That is right, Mom!" I answered instantly, matching her sharp wit.

As we were all laughing at Lane's blatant mischief, Uncle Anthony joined the conversation, adjusting his formal cuffs as he looked around the gathering space. "Tony, Leader Hue, I believe absolutely everyone invited to the ceremony is officially here," Anthony stated, gesturing toward the main floor. "So we can start the proceedings and get their happy day over with. Then our two brand-new couples can, cough, get straight to work on expanding their side branches."

More loud laughter erupted across the group, causing both Ashley and James to blush bright red. I look over at my best friend, shaking my head. Brother, you literally have a nine-month pregnant wife standing right next to you, so why the hell are you blushing about side branches now?!

The professional staff from the local Life Statistics office had been brought out directly to the venue for the event, which is a common practice with noble lineage weddings. We decided beforehand that Tina and I would exchange our formal vows first.

Our one hundred or so invited guests all sat comfortably at their respective dining tables as Tina and I walked up to the clerks, holding our hands together in front of everyone. Tina looked straight into my eyes and began with her vows.

Her specific words, however, confused practically everyone in the room except for me.

"Almost five years ago now, the second girl you loved fell from a tree branch right for you," Tina began, her voice steady and clear. "I met the man who would completely change my heart, the one single man I could never quite figure out. Back then, you were so weak, pathetic, and overlooked by society. You had become broken and worthless. But like a beautiful lie, you suddenly became, right in front of my very eyes, the strongest, most perfect being my heart could ever live for. You are wrong, Rick. You are just like a Phoenix, and I will be your wife in this life, and the next."

I smile because of the specific memories she reminded me of, and how incredible it would truly be to marry her again in the next life. Well, I will never know for sure. I look back into her eyes to tell her my thoughts and deliver my vow.

"When you look for me in our next life, just look for the broken man," I told her, my voice carrying across the quiet room. "He will definitely be me. But for this life, I am just incredibly glad you came tumbling out of that tree. My life would have been significantly less complicated if you did not pick me, but I and our future Feng family thank you for it. I love you, my Phoenix."

And with that, Tina wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and deeply kissed me, marking my lips as if she were placing a permanent tracking spell on me. She really is a wonderful, fierce woman.

Then our official wedding picture was taken by the photographer, and it was time for the next couple to step up to say their vows.

Ashley, dressed in a stunning white dress, stood with her pink eyes seeing absolutely nothing but Jam—Monkey. She was looking exceptionally womanly today with her full-length, long-sleeved gown. She shyly began to speak her heart to the crowd.

"James Tong, I am very happy in my heart to have met such a kind man," Ashley whispered, her cheeks flushing. "A man who only ever saw me as a normal, regular girl. Your constant smile of being a goofy character completely brightens up my gloomy days. Growing up, I only ever knew intense training and absolute loyalty. And now, I want to marry a man that breaks that sad, rigid lifestyle completely. So I happily take you, my Monkey."

I look over at James and see it right in his eyes. His male pride dies a little bit each day being called a monkey, but seeing her genuine smile, his heart completely blooms. He took her hands in his.

"A year ago, my friend and I only had wild dreams," James answered, looking back at her. "And now, with you and the others by my side, I know I can be a significantly better man, father, and friend. I want to grow old with you and constantly put a smile on your face with my jokes. Just know, new material is exceptionally hard to come by! I love you, Ashley Tong!"

Then the two of us watched them kiss, but she was still shy in public and kept things small and innocent. We all clapped loudly as they had their picture taken by the clerks.

Then, immediately following the signatures, the wedding banquet officially began.

James and I both danced with our new wives first, clearing the center floor, and then soon after, the other guests rotated in to get their own dances completed. The ambient atmosphere became incredibly lively as the heavy wine toasts began, with the pregnant ladies raising glasses filled with sparkling apple juice.

When it finally came time for me to deliver my official toast, I held up my crystal glass toward James and Ashley. I smiled wickedly at my best friend and spoke into the microphone. "And this specific toast is for my brand-new niece and nephew-in-law," I announced, pausing for dramatic effect. "Because I realized that as family... I am officially a Monkey's Uncle! Hah-aha, cheers!"

When James saw half the room pausing to process my words, followed by sudden looks of realization dawning on their faces, he knew he was trapped.

He saw Ashley and Akeno quickly looking away to hide their giggles, and he realized he had been completely played by his best friend. He quietly handed his wife his glass of wine, his face twisting into a low, competitive growl.

"Rick... You absolute bastard..." James muttered, loosening his collar. "I do not care that you can literally kill me with one finger... But today... I am gonna kick your ass! AAAARRGGHH!"

Tina, reading his aggressive physical actions perfectly, only offered a gentle smile as she smoothly took my wineglass right out of my hand. She stepped back safely as the crazy Monkey lunged across the floor at me, trying to choke me to death.

Sure, I could easily dodge his grip or stop him instantly with my skills, but this is exactly how best friends fight. We prank, we goof around, and we drive each other completely crazy. I just smile widely as he desperately tries to strangle me using my own silk tie.

Some of the guests in the room were initially confused, wondering if the Vice-Leader was really being attacked at his own wedding, but the calm smiles on Tina's and Ashley's faces, combined with my grin of a prank well pulled off, instantly ended their worry.

After a couple of minutes of heavy swear words and playful wrestling on the floor, Jim finally stopped his craziness and let go of my collar. He looked up at me with a thoroughly wronged expression, smoothing down his suit jacket as he muttered. "That prank was incredibly mean-spirited, man, sigh..." James grumbled.

I took off the messed-up tie, tossing it onto a nearby chair, and grinned playfully at his pout. "Come on," I teased him, bumping his shoulder. "If it was you pulling the prank on me, you would have absolutely loved it, right?"

"Humph," James snorted, crossing his arms. "You even managed to get Ashley and Akeno in on the setup, you absolute trickster. But fine, it was maybe a little bit funny, but I won't acknowledge it until I successfully get you back for this."

"Got it!" I laughed, looking over toward the doors. "Now we are being summoned. Our wives want to leave the venue. You know exactly what tonight is, right?"

And Jim instantly looked like a mischievous monkey for real as a wide joy spread across his face. "Yes! The Monkey will finally get his revenge tonight with his banana in bed!" James cheered, his eyes flashing. "It is officially on, like Donkey Kong, he-he!"

Somehow, knowing exactly how badly Ashley beats his ass in the Kung-Fu Club every single week, I think it will actually be Jim who is limping around the neighborhood tomorrow morning. I turned to my lifelong friend.

"Alright, Jimbo," I told him, offering a hand. "After my honeymoon, I have to fly out to Central for business, and then be with Hana for the birth. After all that is finished... We can finally hang out properly in your new home. See you later, Neighbor."

The two of us give each other a heavy high-five, turn on our heels, and officially leave the party behind.