Chapter 201

I climbed up the stairs to the room that had been set aside for me. After the little tangent and the late hour, the conversation petered out so we decided to drop things for now. We had discussed most of the important issues already, all that was left would be what our plans were in the city going forward and that would have to wait until after we talked to the person in charge of the embassy tomorrow morning.

Silva gave me a longing look before walking into one of the rooms alone. Torien was waiting for me in my room, not the one earmarked for Silva. I sighed. By this point, I was mentally fatigued and neither of the twins were in the most stable place at the moment. Morrigan was still glued to my side, not even letting go of my hand as we climbed the stairs. Bella had subtly made it clear that she was joining me in my room as well, so several of the rooms lent to us would sit empty tonight. Not that I minded of course. Mimi chose to come with us as well, a cursory look at our bond told me that she was still worried for the twins as well. I didn't blame her, even if the bed might be a little crowded tonight.

I opened the door to find a nervous looking Torien sitting in a chair near the bed waiting for us. She relaxed a little when she saw me and her sister. I walked over and sat on the bed near her and Morrigan took the initiative to sit on the opposite side of me.

"Hey," I said to her quietly.

Torien's ears went back and she looked away. "...hey."

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"...no," she whimpered out.

"Come here." I patted the space next to me.

She hesitantly stood up and sat next to me on the bed. Bella and Mimi had started changing into comfortable clothes and got ready to lay on the bed behind us, listening but not butting in yet.

After a few quiet moments, I pulled Torien into a hug. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

There was a pause before she shook her head. "No... I don't even know why I'm so upset..."

I nodded. "That's okay. Do you want to sleep together with us tonight?"

She nervously looked up at me. "Would... that be okay?" She glanced at her sister for confirmation.

"Of course," I said.

Morrigan got up and moved to the other side of Torien before pulling her into another hug. "Absolutely, Torien. It would be cruel if I turned you away after all the times you let me cry on your shoulder."

Torien glanced at me before returning her eyes to her sister. "Even though she's... yours?"

Morrigan sighed. "She might be my lover, but she's still our family." Morrigan's face suddenly turned a little red. "Maybe someday even your sister-in-law."

Torien didn't react with words, she just hugged her. Morrigan stood up and pulled her to the other side of the room. "Let's get changed into something comfortable. Unlike everyone else, we still need to get a good amount of sleep. Tomorrow might end up being just as busy." Torien nodded and walked across the room where Mimi had set out all of our chests. I looked away as the twins started stripping out of their maid uniforms to change into their nightclothes.

I looked over at Bella and Mimi who were lying on the other side of the bed. "You don't mind do you?" I asked.

Bella smiled. "I don't. You gave me time when I needed some, I'm happy to let them have some too. Besides, it's not as if you're being taken away to another room, the five of us are just going to have to squish into this bed."

I smiled back at her. "At least this bed isn't too small for that. It seems we've been given some grand accommodations."

"True," she replied. Then she looked over to the blank wall. "I can feel Silva's loneliness through the bond..."

"Yeah..." I said with a frown. "There's not much we can really do though I think. Either Torien will ask for my help, or the two will figure things out on their own. We haven't had a chance to talk about it fully but... I still feel a bit betrayed as well. I guess in the end it didn't harm any of us but it still hurts that she's been lying to us all of this time about her motivations..."

Bella nodded. "True."

We sat there quietly for a moment before the twins came back over after changing. The two of them came up to the edge of the bed and hesitated. Torien turned to her sister. "Would it be alright if I slept between you and Lilith?"

Morrigan smiled faintly. "Sure."

Bella pulled the blanket back and Morrigan slid between Bella and Torien, leaving me a spot at the edge of the bed. It felt a bit awkward to be this close to Torien in her nightclothes but I got undressed and slid in next to her anyway. She hugged Morrigan from behind and I wrapped an arm around Torien, resting it against her belly. My touch seemed to relax her a bit because she leaned back against me until we were touching. I took the hint and scooted forward a little so she wouldn't be in such an awkward position. Once I felt settled in, Torien seemed comfortable and let out a quiet relaxed sigh. Bella played with Morrigan's hair for a bit before leaning in and giving her a chaste kiss which made Morrigan giggle.

It had been a very long day and while I was mentally tired, I couldn't help but let my thoughts race a little. The most immediate thing on my mind right now was Torien. She had never been the most clingy person, to put it mildly, but right now she was hurting. This was a distinctly different side of her that I hadn't seen before. More vulnerable. While Morrigan had been the most devastated initially, once things returned to normal a little, and she fell back into her relationship with me and Bella, she seemed to calm down a bit. That wasn't the case with Torien.

Torien was more anxious than I'd ever seen her and while I had convinced her that things would be okay in the short term, I don't think she had really internalized it yet. And then there was Silva... I'm not really sure what's going through Torien's head about her right now but I suspect she doesn't know how she's supposed to feel about Silva either. I haven't been privy to all of their conversations, intentionally so, but Torien is acting more betrayed than I am and I'm not exactly sure why.

Was it Silva's transformation? The lying? Removing her own collar? I wasn't sure but it was enough for Torien to take some space from her. I frowned. I hated to think this way, but if things came to it, I would choose the twins over Silva in a heartbeat. If Torien decided she couldn't work with Silva anymore, she'd be out of the party. Unbalanced party or not, I valued the two of them more, even setting aside that Morrigan was my lover. It was harsh to think that way but it was the truth.

My relationship with Silva was in a weird spot on its own. I guess I felt like I was 'saving' her by taking ownership of her. I thought I was protecting her from having a bad master, giving her some freedom to behave however she wanted with me instead. But the reality was that she had been able to escape her slavery at any time, had been hiding her true strength because she was actually protecting me. I had trusted her with my back because I thought she was competent sure, but... the dynamic just felt different now. She didn't actually need me, I wasn't really helping her, it no longer felt like a fair arrangement. I felt like I would be taking advantage of her.

Was I being selfish? Did I have some sort of hero complex where I felt the need to save others to feel good about myself? I frowned, the thought actually didn't seem that far off from the truth. I felt the same way about the twins to some extent. I think I had been kind of self-absorbed with the idea of freeing them from slavery, picturing myself as a knight on a white horse, riding in to save them even though they hadn't actually asked for that. I don't think I was wrong, I'm still happy they're free of those evil collars, but the whole time... I was kind of doing it for me, not because it was what they wanted. I was imposing my ideals on them, whether it was justified or not. I don't think the better option would have been to continue to keep them as my slaves but I should still be honest with myself about it.

I sighed and squeezed around Torien a little more. Her breathing had slowed and I was pretty sure she was asleep now. This situation did make one thing clear to me though, I did love Torien like family. Not in the same way I loved Morrigan... though I'd be lying if I said I didn't find her attractive too. But Torien felt like... my best friend. She is the one that I trusted to give me solid advice, who would call me out if I was being stupid, was the one that would raise an eyebrow with a bemused expression while the rest of us were being silly...

I'm happy that Torien wanted me to comfort her when she's vulnerable like this, but at the same time, her current lack of confidence hurt my own confidence. In a lot of ways Torien is the backbone of our party in my mind, the stable foundation that kept us all going strong. Seeing her this weak and vulnerable... has shaken me a bit I think. Seeing both of them nearly fall apart over being freed from their collars was a lot more disheartening than I thought.

There was also Lorriene. More than ever, I didn't know what to think about her. This morning she had been my friends' gentle and meek auntie. Now she was a dangerous assassin in a cult that worshiped me of all people. I had also seen how reverently the twins had looked at her when she used that strange teleportation ability to kill that Tamin paladin. Her race had been enslaved in the first place for being well known assassins and that looked like a taste of their former glory. To be frank, the woman scares me a little bit, but I believe she really does love her nieces. Everything she's said ultimately came back to that, so if nothing else, I believe I can trust her to do what was best for them. I just hoped that my best and her best aligned.

Yawning, I snuggled up a bit more to Torien. I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow morning. I would have to negotiate with the elven embassy, and that Master Tangleleaf guy. Cecilia seemed to trust him so I didn't think he would screw us over and it didn't sound like they are connected to Amphores but I also wasn't sure how much I should reveal to them. I figured I would probably reveal everything to Tarklin when I saw him next but the idea of nebulous elven politics scared me almost even more than the cultists. Who knows what would happen if I accidentally revealed secret information to this Tangleleaf guy and he turned out to be aligned in some obscure way against Tarklin and I unknowingly burn some bridges? Maybe I'll have to talk to Cecilia about him. She doesn't strike me as someone who really knew a lot about politics and she said as much, but she would hopefully at least know if I would be fucking things up by revealing too much to him.

Torien's tail shifted in her sleep and rubbed me in a pretty inappropriate spot... It had been a couple days since most of us have had sex and while I wasn't starving for it yet, a bit more would certainly be welcome. Too much had happened today that even if Torien wasn't sharing my room, I don't think anyone would really be in the mood for it. But maybe I could work a quickie in with Mimi or Bella tomorrow morning before things get moving. I pictured it while drifting off to sleep. Mmm, the idea didn't sound that bad.