Chapter 179

It took some time for all of us to come to our senses after our shared orgasms. Once the afterglow had worn off I realized that all of us had let our lustful aura get out of control again, that explained why Theo and Morrigan had been so affected by the show they couldn't stop themselves from masturbating until the six of us had calmed down. Morrigan seemed a little mortified she had done so while sitting right next to our temporary magic teacher, doubly so because she wasn't interested in men.

Theo was normally pretty confident in his sexuality but the forced arousal by our combined auras had shaken him a little. It probably didn't help that his slacks were now soaked with cum...

Our group spent some time cleaning up and changing back into our clothes and armor before preparing for our night watch. Since we all knew about the succubi now, I chose to keep my wings and spade-tail free for now. I couldn't wear any of my clothes or armor in my larger form but I could at least leave my wings and tail out as long as I didn't wear my chest piece. I realized that I probably needed to let them out from time to time, they felt uncomfortable when I did release them if I kept hiding them for too long. I wasn't sure how often I would get the chance once we reached the city so I better take advantage of the freedom now.

Cecilia was out of commission, her first experience as a succubus was powerful enough to knock her right out afterward. Since succubi didn't need much sleep we split up the night watches so that the non-succubi wouldn't have to stay up. That meant letting Torien and Silva sleep till morning. With Cecilia included in the secret, we didn't need to hide that kind of thing from her anymore and could be a little more efficient with our sleep times, which would be nice going forward. Bella had taken Morrigan to our shared tent and went to lie down with her until it was time to take over for me.

I climbed on top of our carriage to watch out for monsters. I spread out a large zone of [Fireflies] to gently light up the surroundings without being too disruptive to everyone sleeping. While this road was a lot safer than the ones on the frontier, we still needed to keep a watch through the night. Monsters were still out and about and we could see them go by from time to time. At least they didn't charge our group in huge numbers the way they did when we had parked our wagons outside of town when we had stopped outside of Norta.

After sitting there for quite a while my mind started to drift. I thought back to that last transformation session. When I had shifted into my larger form I had felt more... wild. I don't think I noticed when it happened but I had felt really possessive of Cecilia, which wasn't like me. I liked her sure but she wasn't in my inner circle the same way the others were, it felt odd to feel that way about her. My true form wasn't influencing my thoughts, was it? Had I just gotten so caught up in the moment that I went with my instincts? It could have even been the lust aura the six of us were giving off, we had lost control of that tonight.

My thoughts were interrupted by a canine-looking monster that was stalking through the grass toward our wagon and tents. I would have to handle this one, unfortunately I don't have many ranged options so I would have to go fight it up close. It was alone, I would have been able to spot them in the grass if there had been more than one so I doubt it's worth waking the others over this.

I jumped down and let my wings ease my fall. I hadn't had many opportunities to experiment with them yet but after gliding away from the collapsing building I didn't hesitate, it's not like it was that long of a fall anyway.

I looked down at the monster and thought all the way back to the first time I saw a bone dog, the first monster I had ever killed. The canine monster looked similar but this one was more like a normal dog, albeit with a strangely proportioned body. Its shoulders were large and it had a smaller than normal head. It had small spikes on its back leading to a rather long tail and its front legs had nasty-looking claws.

The dog jumped at me the moment I touched the ground, I wasn't sure if it realized I had spotted it or if it was just taking what it thought was an easy opportunity. I stepped out of its pounce and cast [Blade Waltz] on myself for the added speed and footwork bonus. The monster was fast but I had been quickly gaining experience and confidence fighting the last few weeks. My blade grazed it and I took the opportunity to cast [Melee Hex], it wasn't super debilitating but it made the monster make more mistakes, slide in the dirt, and trip over its own feet.

I started working in some casts of [Light Ward]. The monster wasn't very threatening so it was a good opportunity to practice using the new spell I was less familiar using. Every time it slashed at me I would use a faintly glowing panel of light to block its attacks. After I got used to doing that in tandem with attacking I started using the panel of glass offensively. I started to place them in inconvenient spots for the monster and combined with [Melee Hex] the monster had trouble stopping itself from tripping.

After a particularly bad fumble, I stepped forward and slashed off its head. The head fell away and the body slumped to the ground. The scene was a little gruesome but I was able to handle it a lot better than when I first started fighting. In an instant, I released all of the simultaneous [Light Ward] panels I had going. I had grown a lot. I looked around for any other monsters... But no, this one was alone it seemed.

[You have defeated a Ducard]

[Novice Magic Swordsman has increased from level 11 to level 12]

[Light Magic has increased from level 10 to level 11]

No spells this time, just the bonus to Magic Force that I got automatically from the level. I must have been close to advancing my magic swordsman class because this thing didn't seem all that difficult. I walked back over to the carriage and climbed my way back up. Surprisingly Bella was sitting up there waiting for me.

"Hey," Bella said with a smile.

I sat next to her and looked back over the area I was supposed to be keeping watch over. "Hey, how long have you been waiting here?"

"Not long, I heard something so I came to check it out. I caught the end of your fight."

I laced my fingers with hers and leaned against her gently.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm just thinking about how much I've changed."

"Do you mean the wings and stuff?" she asked while pointing to my back

"No... well, yeah kinda. It's everything though. It kind of hit me that I didn't... care that I just cut that monster's head off. A few hours ago I held Cecilia down and fucked her while everyone else had sex in the open. All of that felt... normal, in an odd way."

She squeezed my hand while I pulled together more of my thoughts.

"Maybe it's because I don't know much about who I used to be but with how fast everything is changing, I wonder where all of this is headed. We don't have much of a choice in going to the capital but I'm a bit afraid of what we're walking into. After finding out about the Order of Lilith, I'm afraid our actions might lead to catastrophe. Despite all that, I just finished making another new succubus," I said shaking my head.

Bella leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I think you're feeling anxious because there's a lot of things we need to deal with soon. The cartography training, Theo and his library, delivering the ore for those mousekin, and whatever demon stuff we're going to get involved with when we get there. I think you're just feeling a little overwhelmed."

I slumped. "Yeah... Damn, I completely forgot about that thing with Meena and Twill."

She laughed and ran her fingers down the back of my neck in a relaxing way. "Things have changed a lot for me too you know. I wouldn't dare to say that they've changed in a bad way but that doesn't mean it hasn't come with some getting used to... Hell, my ass is still a bit sore and I never thought I would enjoy anal sex before."

Chuckling I squeezed her hand and refocused on the field in front of me. There hadn't been any movement in the grass but I still needed to make sure nothing slipped by us while we kept watch.

"How have you been adjusting? To your body, to me and Morrigan, and... everything else?" I said gesturing.

She smiled. "It has been a challenge but I'm still very happy with how things have turned out. I love my new body and my new magic. For a while, I was unsure if I had made a mistake about keeping my penis but I'm pretty confident I made the right choice now. Especially since I can easily hide it if I need to. I... really like Morrigan, much more than I thought I would. I was hesitant at first, I was worried that she would replace me or something and I'd be left behind but now I'm really happy she's around. She's become a really strong support for me, someone that I can lean on and get closer to. She makes me feel like I have another person I can rely on, aside from you of course. Other than our... difference in opinion over Matilda and the Goldenhearth attack, we've gotten along great all this time. I... think I love her too, almost as much as I love you. I love Mimi too of course but I almost see her as more of a younger sister most of the time. She's not very world-wise but she has a kind heart, it's odd to think that she used to be a monster, she's such a sweetheart."

I nodded with a smile. "Our little family is growing."

Bella blushed and turned away. "Do you think... we will get the opportunity to have children someday?"

I felt my shoulders go stiff at the question and I felt my face warm up. "I'm not... sure. I think I like the idea of it... someday. But I don't know if I would be comfortable... being the mother..." I sighed. "I... don't think I ever told you this before but I'm pretty sure I was a man in my past life, the one before I woke up in this world."

Bella's eyes widened and she turned to face me. "Really? You never said anything about that..."

I nodded. "I... didn't really want to tell anyone... I don't remember my past life but I like this new me. I know I was different before but I don't care. I still occasionally use my shifting powers to give myself a cock but... I think I prefer to be the one being penetrated most of the time. ...But the thought of being pregnant feels... different. I don't know if that's something I'm comfortable with."

Bella squeezed my hand. "We'll have a long time to consider our options. [Succubus Shifting] doesn't make the inner parts fertile right now but maybe it could be upgraded to give us that ability and I could be a mother for us. If that won't work... maybe Morrigan could bear us children, if she's willing. If not there might be others that are... Either way, this isn't a burden you have to bear alone. If you don't feel comfortable carrying a child, then we can avoid that route."

I pulled up the description for [Greater Succubus Shifting]

[Greater Succubus Shifting - Racial Trait (Succubus) - Hidden]

The god of Change and your own efforts have upgraded your ability to alter your form. You are now able to alter any part of your appearance, features, or proportions with greater efficiency as long as you can afford the strain on your mana. Alterations that deviate too far from your true form will be harder to control and maintain. You are able to shapeshift your tongue's thickness and length and control it like a prehensile organ as well as shapeshift your genitalia. Shapeshifted genitalia are not virile or fertile unless naturally so. For a small amount of mana, you may suppress your true form, an effect that persists until intentionally released. This skill and its effects are undetectable to system identification. Mana is reserved to maintain this ability’s effects as long as it’s kept active.

I sighed as I read over the part that mentioned virility and fertility. "Yeah, maybe..."

"But I don't think that's the real issue." She leaned against my shoulder and squeezed my hand again. "I don't think you're scared of being pregnant, I think you're scared of being a mother. I think the way you freeze up and rush to deny motherhood over the succubi shows that. You're trying hard to be the leader of the succubi but that's not what the status message that every woman who becomes your child sees. No one is told that you're their leader, they're told that you're their mother. I think that when you're ready for it, you should embrace that, especially after all this talk about family."

I sighed again and slumped against her. "I... don't know if I can do that, be that for everyone..."

"I know." She pulled me in a side hug as the two of us kept watching the field. "That's why I said you should only embrace it when you're ready. You don't have to do it today, or even soon. But I think all of the succubi look at you that way whether you acknowledge it or not. Everyone will be ready for it when you are."

I looked out in the darkness of the hills ahead of me, my soft fireflies gently lit up the area around us. I let out another sigh.

NOTE: I've gone back and retconned [Sexual Appetite] to remove the risk of pregnancy. It already kind of worked this way in my head but I decided things would make more sense if I was more explicit so I went back and changed a few past chapters. Some of you have asked about the changes in comments or on my discord but I had been waiting to bring it up the next time it was relevant here.

For reference this is the new current description of the racial trait:

[Sexual Appetite - Racial Trait]Succubi appetites are different from that of most other creatures. Rather than feasting on flesh and plants they instead gain sustenance from lust aspect magic siphoned from pleasure during sexual encounters. Feeding on this source doesn’t harm the sexual partner. Starving succubi will find it harder to process information, make rational decisions, and think about anything other than sex and masturbation. Level of Sexual Appetite is increased by taking new partners and higher levels of Sexual Appetite increases the time before faculties are impaired due to hunger. Succubi are unable to starve to death but will eventually be forced to masturbate constantly until they can find a sexual partner to sate their hunger. Regular food can be eaten but will not affect sustenance unless high in magic content. Collecting sustenance through sexual actions removes the potency from sexual fluids unless intentionally trying to become pregnant. The amount of lust aspect mana generated by sexual encounters is increased by an additional 50% per person involved.