Chapter 137

I woke up to the sound of gentle knocking. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "Come in," I called out.

To my surprise it wasn't one of my girlfriends at the door but Raya. She was dressed casually but with her new looks, she was still a bombshell. I still didn't feel great but I was curious what she wanted.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?" she asked.

"Uh, sure. I don't really think I'm in the mood to... you know."

She smiled. "I know, don't worry." She climbed up on the bed and sat next to me. She leaned her shoulder against mine and just let silence fill the room.

Once I got used to the feeling I looked over at her. "Did you... want to talk about something?" I asked.

She gently picked up my hand and squeezed it. "Only if you want to talk. I heard a little bit of what happened from Torien and Bella."

I felt anxiety clench in my chest at her words. What did they tell her? What did she know? How would she see me if she knew—

"Shhh." Raya leaned over and pulled me into a hug. "There's nothing to worry about hun. I'm not going to judge you. We don't have to talk about any of that if you don't want to. But if you do want to talk about it, I'll listen. I know it can be hard to tell your lovers how you really feel. You don't want to hurt them so you carry all the pain yourself. So talk to me, I promise anything you say won't leave this room."

I slumped against her and buried my face into her shoulder. I could already feel the warm tears flowing down my face. The vulnerable fox girl we saved that day now felt like a solid pillar for me to lean against. How quickly things can change.

"On the first day I came to this world... I was raped."

She squeezed me tighter for a heartbeat but she didn't say anything. She didn't judge me. She quietly hugged me and let me piece together my thoughts.

"It... it made me feel weak." I took an unsteady breath. "He wrapped one of his hands around my horn and held me in place... I- I dumped all of the points I had into strength and I still couldn't push him off of me. He held me down and fucked me like a fucking animal."

"Shhh, it's okay," Raya whispered into my ear as I sobbed. It felt like bugs were crawling under my skin trying to recount that night. It took me a little time but once my sobbing eased off I kept going.

"He fucked my ass without any warning or preparation, I hadn't had anything down there before and it hurt..." I took a breath. The thing that haunted me most about the situation was now at the forefront of my mind. "The worst part... The worst part was... I came when it happened... my body liked it. Some part of me deep inside liked being dominated by someone stronger than me. ...The thought disgusts me. Especially because it was him."

A comforting hand rubbed up and down my back. She still held me. Still comforted me. I let go of the tight clenching of my bond to find her emotions wide open and bared to me. I only felt feelings of support. Sadness for what I had gone through. ...love.

I took a shaky breath. "Just as he finished Bella came into the room and hit him in the back of the head, giving me a chance to butt my head into him and break his nose. ...after that... I snapped a slave collar on him. I- I had it from when I freed Bella. I originally met her as a slave and bought her from the man who violated me."

I paused, unsure if I wanted to talk about the next part with her. Even after the last admission I still didn't feel any judgement from her so I decided to tell her everything, I feel like I can trust her. "After that... I used a power I gained to change him. I turned him into a woman, a canine beastfolk, and stole some of his skills from him. That's... that's how I became a swordsman. I also... changed some things in his head. Made him submissive, made him crave sex. It didn't change him directly just... rewarded him when he did those things. I... I fucked with his mind... Does that make me a bad person?" I sobbed into her shoulder.

Raya rubbed my back. "I promised not to judge you and I won't. It's up to you if what you did makes you a bad person. If you feel bad about it, if you feel guilty, maybe it was a bad thing to do... But like I'm sure others have told you, you had justification, you had cause. I don't know if those things make up for what you did but however you end up feeling about it, you can't control what you did in the past, you can only control what you do in the future. If you think it was a mistake, never do it again. The only thing that would make you a bad person is if you know it was bad and you chose to keep doing it anyway."

I sat with the thought for a while, silently hugging Raya as the tears continued to roll down my face. I don't want to be a bad person. I want to help people. I... I don't like what I did to him, I think it was wrong. It's wrong to fuck with someone's head like that... change who they are. I don't like that ability... I'm never going to use it again.

I gasped as I felt something inside of me shift.

[Origin of Succubi] removes [Karmic Hypnotism][Origin of Succubi] alters [Karmic Retribution]

[Karmic Retribution - Innate Ability]Karma is normally subtle in its approach in punishing the wicked, Karmic Retribution is not. The user gains the ability to punish misdeeds by turning the target's karma against them. While Karmic Retribution is active each attack made against someone with negative karma is afflicted with psychic damage in proportion to their negative karma and is forced to confront the misdeeds they have inflicted on others.

I suddenly felt a sharp pain stab into the front of my head like a sudden migraine. I began to relive the moment I changed him... her. I looked up at myself from her perspective. I could feel how good it felt to follow orders. I felt how horny it made me to debase myself and act like a dog. It felt so good, yet so wrong.

[Origin of Succubi] alters [The Bitch's Curse]

When the visions stopped and the pain faded, I could feel Raya gently shaking me. "Lilith! Are you okay? You just yelled out in pain!"

I sniffed and wiped the tears from my eyes. "My origin title just took away the ability I used on him... and the new one I got in return punished me for what I did. ...it showed me how it felt. I was right, it's wrong to do that to someone..."

She wrapped me back up in a hug. "It's okay. That's good right? It took that ability away, the one that made you feel like a bad person, and the new one punished you. Justifications aside, that means you just paid for what you did to him, right?"

Did it? "...I don't know if it works that way. Maybe. But even still, I made the decision never to use that ability again and now I can't even if I wanted to. Like you said, I can only control my actions in the future." I took a deep breath and centered myself. "I'm glad it's gone. Even if I was never tempted to use it again, just having it made me feel wrong."

She tightened her hug. "Good. If it's any consolation, I don't think you are a bad person. It's normal to want to punish the people that hurt you. And yet, despite what he did to you, what he put you through, you still felt compassion for him. Guilty for what you did to him. I think that's admirable."

I sniffed again as my tears fell on her shirt. Her right shoulder was wet from all the tears I had cried into it. "Thank you for this Raya... I don't know how to thank you for... all of this..."

She broke our hug to look me in the eye. "No need to thank me Lilith. I do this kind of thing for people whenever I can. And no one I've ever talked through their problems with has helped me half as much as you already have. ...Don't take that as me saying I'm only helping you because I owe you one. I would do it regardless, you're my friend."

I smiled and scratched the base of my horn. "Thank you Raya. Really, it means a lot." Perhaps in my previous world she would have been a therapist rather than a prostitute.

"Great! Now, you hungry? It's past the usual dinner time. The other girls ate in the common room since you were sleeping. None of them knew what to do after you went to bed alone."

I hesitated. "Is that alright? Aren't you rationing food?"

"Well... Something tells me food will be less of a problem soon... The Madame and Grace have been talking to the girls and even I'm surprised at the number of people who want to take you up on the offer from the people she's talked to. It sounds like our family is going to be getting quite a bit bigger, mother."

I made a gagging noise. "Please don't call me that. It sounds weird coming from someone I'd like to have sex with."

"Oh? I was hoping that the fun night I shared with you and your girlfriends wouldn't be a one-time deal. Looks like I shouldn't have worried, next time I'll need to make sure to get to you before you go balls-deep in someone else. Not that I can compete with a girl like Morrigan. Mmm, the way she was looking at you last night gave me shivers."

I smiled. "It didn't look like you minded much with how much you were enjoying Bella's company."

Raya blushed a bit. "Well... It's hard not to wanna repay someone who literally saved your life you know. I'm really glad she was open to me playing with her, and mmmph, that dick. Now that was a pleasant surprise."

"I'm glad you think so, she's a bit self-conscious about it."

Raya nodded. "I'm aware. You missed it when you were wrapped up with your kitty-kin but we had a nice and teasing conversation about it beforehand. Also, with our shapeshifting powers and the bond, it's hard to let that kind of thing bother you." She shivered. "Fucking while the bond is wide open is something else. It's... indescribable."

I nodded. "Yeah, there's really nothing like it."

Raya leaned against my shoulder again. "It's not just the pleasure, it's also... the closeness. That's something you usually don't get as a whore. Sure some people are loving, sometimes too loving, but most of the time it's just... get them off and move on to the next guy." She shrugs. "Not that I'm complaining, I like those encounters too, but the kind of intimate connection I've felt with you and the other succubi makes me feel... part of something special."

"How is Nadia adapting to the change?" I asked.

"She's really happy. I think she's happier than she was even before the change. If you haven't noticed, she's changed a lot. I don't think she was happy with her looks before and now she's strutting around with newfound confidence. Even if she didn't look completely different, people might still mistake her for a different person. Right now, most of the girls do think she's a completely different person from the Nadia that lost an arm."

I nodded. "What about you? You look quite a bit different too despite still being recognizable."

"Yeah I know! Most of the stuff I passed off as a new beauty regimen, makeup, and padding. I would be the first to admit it's a pretty farfetched explanation though. My tails are another story entirely." She flipped her three tails onto our lap. They were very fluffy and looked pristine, they didn't have a single strand of hair out of place. I stroked the one on top as she continued, "For now I've been shifting away my hands and tails when around others but as more of the girls transform I'll probably be able to get away with having them out in public soon. I'm a bit worried about when the secret leaves the brothel though. But I'm hopeful we'll figure things out."

I was going to say something when Raya suddenly sat up straight. "Oh! Right! Food! Come on, let's go down and chat with the others. At the very least we should talk to the Madame! I want more sisters!"

I laughed as I followed the excited kitsune through the door and down the stairs to the common room.