Chapter 101

It wasn't long before we came up on the camp. The wagons were circled and the adventurers we were traveling with stood watch around the small encampment. They looked on edge, prepared for monsters and humanoid attackers alike.

"Halt!" one of the adventurers yelled from a distance.

We stopped and waited, it was Tarklin who eventually came out to meet us.

"Lilith! I'm glad to see you're okay. I was worried you would have trouble at the gate with the church there." He suddenly stopped when he noticed the armor I was wearing. "Where did you get that?"

I pulled off my cloak, revealing the black brigandine. "I stole it from one of the people who attacked us. They were looking for the girl and recognized Silva. I needed a replacement for the breastplate I lost and after six people tried to kill us, we thought it was better to wear this than nothing."

He visibly relaxed. "I see. We'll have to dye it or something. It's not safe to wear that right now."

I nodded. "I know, the Tamin adherents stopped our group at the gate. Luckily that priestess Corrine was there." Bella flinched next to me but didn't say anything. "She vouched for us before pulling us aside to question us in a [Zone of Truth]. Afterward, she let us go and pointed us in your direction.

Tarklin's brow furrowed. "That's odd. Not something I would have expected from a Tamin priestess."

"I think they're too busy to worry about us once I confirmed that I wasn't with the attackers. There was a full-on battle in the center of town between their paladins and the people in black. We got a look at the fighting, we wanted to make sure you and Fae weren't being attacked but we weren't expecting the Tamin adherents to be the ones there. When we saw that you two weren't involved we made our way out of town. Is Fae alright?"

He nodded. "She's okay but she's rather shaken. We had to fight some of them off on our way out of the city. But I made sure not to let her watch anyone else die."

"Good."

"Come on, you need to change out of that gear. It's not safe."

The five of us followed Tarklin behind one of the wagons and I took off the Brigandine. My thin shirt under it was nearly in tatters, my fur was visible through the large slashes from my previous battle with the cat beastfolk.

Tarklin quirked an eyebrow. "Your shirt looks like it's been torn to shreds."

"I would have been full of as many holes as my shirt if Bella hadn't been there. I'm sure I took at least one fatal slash in that skirmish."

"...four," Bella's timid voice added.

I frowned. "That many?"

She nodded.

I scratched the back of my head. "Damn. No wonder she was so pissed off fighting me."

Torien chuckled. "You should have seen Silva. She managed to take on three of them barehanded for a while. It was lucky she had been able to grab the spear you knocked away from one."

I looked over at the spear Silva was holding. It was tall, taller than her head, and about halfway up her long rabbit ears. It seemed fairly simple but it had a long black wooden shaft with a metal spearhead. "Will that spear be good enough to last you a while Silva? or should we see about getting you something else?"

The demi-rabbitfolk smiled. "This is more than enough for me."

Tarklin looked over Silva. "You'll have to take off that armor too. My company is feeling quite on edge right now and they're even less familiar with you than they are Lilith."

She looked at me and I nodded. "We'll have them adjusted and dyed then I'll have it given back to you. The two of us are unarmored and I clearly need it after that last fight. You can keep the spear for now obviously."

I looked at Tarklin. "Is there anyone here that can dye them for us? I don't want to be confused for those cultists either."

Tarklin's eyebrows shot up. "Cultists?"

"...that's what Corrine and the paladins called them. We couldn't stop to ask them many questions under the circumstances."

I'd rather not mention the 'Order of Lilith' thing regardless.

He sighed. "Well, perhaps that explains why the adherents are looking so bloodthirsty right now. I don't like this, we need to get out of here but it's not safe for us to travel at night. Lilith, I know you've been fighting but do you think you could do a watch tonight? We need everyone we can alert for the rest of the night. As for the rest of your party..."

I looked over at the rest of my group. At this point, they all looked run-ragged. I doubted I looked that much better right now. I glanced back at Tarklin. "Sure. The rest of my team needs to rest though."

"I want to stay up." Torien stepped forward. "I wasn't able to do much in the Tavern fight but I'm a scout, I can protect the caravan through the night."

Looking over Torien, she did seem in better shape than the others. I nodded. "Sure. We'll keep watch together."

Bella pulled me close and kissed me on the lips right in the open. I hesitated at first but leaned into it. When she broke away she shyly looked away, unable to say anything. I smiled and kissed her on the head. I missed these small acts of love, I hated hiding it this entire time.

The moment Bella stepped away Morrigan wrapped her arms around me next. Her face was bright red but I saw the confidence in them as she leaned forward. I met her kiss and held her close to me for a few moments as well. After she broke the kiss she was reluctant to pull away. She just nestled against me for a few more moments before I finally let her go.

Tarklin smiled. "I would warn you about the Tamin church's eyes being around here but I believe you know that already. Some of the merchants might also complain but leave them to me. I support your love."

I nodded. "The adherents already know that 'I lie with women' so I'm done hiding it for now. It's been a nightmare on this trip."

"I don't doubt it. Perhaps one day I'll find a nice lass or fellow to share my flings with. Until then I'll have to live my love vicariously through people like you," he said with a smirk.

I smiled. "Keep an open mind, I'm sure you'll come across someone eventually."

He laughed. "Well, for now, I'll have to focus on my company. Speaking of, you two should be on watch. It's going to be a long night and I'm worried about more than beasts tonight."

I turned to the rest of my friends and handed Mimi's necklace to Bella. "Good night you guys, get some sleep."

The three of them murmured agreements and walked away to find a comfortable spot in the grass. I smiled at the sight of Bella and Morrigan walking hand in hand.

Tarklin led the two of us to one of the wagons the adventurers were using as a temporary barricade while explaining that they couldn't afford a rotation tonight. Everyone who was on watch would have to stay awake through the night. It would be grueling for everyone but it had to be done, there were too many dangers in the night and we were too shorthanded.

Torien and I stood on the wagon looking out over the surroundings. After about ten minutes of quiet, I turned to Torien. "Do you mind if I check my status for a minute?"

"Sure, if you'll let me do the same after."

I nodded and looked at my new notifications since the last fight.

[You have killed a Soldier level 22][Karmic energy increases by 105][You have killed a Fencer level 40][Karmic Energy increases by 332][Your level has increased from level 38 to level 39][Novice Magic Swordsman has increased from level 8 to level 9][Swordsmanship has increased from level 37 to 38][You have unlocked the skill Enhancement Magic Lv. 1]

My blood ran cold. With everything that happened, I haven't had time to process that I had killed a person. All the emotions I had bottled up came flooding back in that moment. My thoughts started to spiral wildly and I jumped when I felt a hand gently fall on my shoulder.

"Lilith... are you okay?"

I swallowed. My mouth felt dry. "I... I've never killed anyone before tonight."

A look of realization crossed her face before it settled into an expression I didn't recognize. She looked away from me, back into the dark night but she gripped my shoulder tight. Her hand felt reassuring.

"The kill notifications..."

I nodded.

"That fight was the first time you..." She didn't finish.

I nodded.

There was a quiet moment where the two of us looked into the dark night. My eyes scanned the darkness, I didn't see anything. I took a shaky breath.

"I've killed people before."

I turned to look at Torien. The question was on my lips but it felt... wrong to ask.

I didn't need to, she kept looking out into the darkness and continued. "I know how this is going to sound. How it'll probably make you feel... They forced me and my sister to kill bandits as part of our slave training. We couldn't be allowed to hesitate to protect our new master once we became adventurer slaves."

I didn't know what to say. I just stared at her.

"Some people go numb to it. Some people cry every time... some people break."

She turned to me, her eyes looked wet with unshed tears. "You're strong Lilith. Don't go numb to it but don't let it break you either. Don't get caught up in the rage like Silva. You're a good person, someone I trust wholeheartedly. This won't be the last time we will need to kill another sapient life to survive but I know you can handle it. Take it seriously and process the feeling... but don't forget the value of life."

Torien got close to me and pulled me into a hug. It wasn't something I was used to from her, Torien wasn't usually the person to hug me like this but... in that moment I needed it and she recognized that. I hugged her back and the tears I had pushed down flowed from my face.

I snuffed out two lives tonight. They probably had hopes and dreams, families, lovers. But they were also trying to kill me, kill Bella, kill my friends, and potentially summon demons to kill other people. Their deaths awarded me with 400 something karma... to put it more cruelly, maybe they deserved it.

This likely wouldn't be the last time I had to kill in this harsh world but I wouldn't take life for granted either. I will always remember the face of the first man I killed in the brief moment I saw his dead eyes staring at the ceiling... I'll always remember it whether I want to or not.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and let go of Torien. She had a sad smile on her face. "Thank you Torien." My voice cracked and I could feel the weakness in my voice.

Torien looked back out at the darkness. "I'm glad I could help... You know, you can come to me if you need to talk about anything. I know you have the others too but... I'll be here if you need me."

"Thank you Torien..."

I sniffed and looked back out at the darkness. I spotted a monster prowling, coming closer to us. I couldn't tell what it was, maybe some kind of hound. "Torien, look!"

She nocked an arrow. "Can you point it out with your light magic?"

I nodded and focused a narrow light beam at its body. The moment it was lit up Torien's arrow loosed, it accelerated unnaturally fast and hit the creature right in the skull with pinpoint accuracy. The creature collapsed to the ground like its strings had been cut.

"...That was impressive." I was a little shocked at Torien's aim.

Torien smiled with pride. "I have a good bow and lots of practice. It feels good after how useless I was back in the tavern."

I swallowed, seeing the face of the man I had killed once again. I shook my head, clearing the vision from my mind. "We all have our strengths Torien. I'm beyond glad you're here with me right now."

She smiled at me. "Me too."

It was a long night filled with many more prowling monsters, trying to take advantage of our seemingly weak defenses. But Torien's aim never dulled throughout the night.