A Series of Unfortunate Events

Kali stood in the front yard, her dark eyes focused on the Radley house. She could see tell-tale signs of the Geas all around her like a giant, magical bubble that shifted away from her when she tried to pop it. She had been fascinated by the spell ever since she had heard about it, but had been warned away from trying to mess with it. While Emily was alive, any attempt to come near the house had ended in death for Society members after the fiasco with Garrett. After Emily had died, she and the others had tried to break in but the Geas had a failsafe for even that occasion, incinerating one of their newest members on the spot.

No, the time to strike was now, before Mike knew how to make the house defend itself. For whatever reason, he was holed up inside, doing nothing at all. Kali wondered how such a man had defeated Sarah. Her best guess was that the creatures inside had helped him, which made plenty of sense.

Coiled around her feet, a twenty two foot long python lifted its head, letting out a quiet hiss at someone approaching. Kali looked through the beast’s eyes to see a figure all in white limping toward her.

“Any luck?” Sebastien came up from behind her, a cup of coffee in one hand and his cane in the other. He leaned on it dramatically, holding the cup out for Kali to take.

“I have made some progress.” Kali took the coffee from Sebastien. “But not enough.”

Sebastien grinned. “I’m afraid all your hard work will be for naught. Right now, my homunculus is on its way over.”

“The agent?” Kali asked.

“Yes.” Sebastien pulled a small flask from his jacket. He poured a little in Kali’s coffee, then took a swig himself. “I’m surprised nobody else thought of it.”

“Nobody has quite the gift for artificial life that you do. What is Daryl up to? Since we were supposed to be working together, I figured he would check in first.”

Sebastien shook his head. “I’m not sure. He thinks he has a lead on a third party who has been inside the house. Such a simple spell, no? One cannot go inside without being invited.”

“It worked on vampires and some of the fae for centuries,” Kali noted. “I’m more interested in who was able to cast such a spell and have it apply to everyone who has never set foot inside.”

“We all have our theories.” Sebastien sipped from his flask, letting out a sigh. “Each theory has its own sub theories, and those theories are full of myths. It’s why I am so eager to crack the mystery of the house. Even the weakest of our theories guarantees that the house has powerful magic, ripe for the taking.”

“Which theory are you a fan of?” Kali asked. “Currently.”

“I was a pretty big advocate for the Fountain of Youth theory, but the fact that Caretakers keep dying says otherwise. I’m leaning more toward the Garden of Eden theory myself, but am also a fan of the theory that an Ancient One is chained up beneath the house.”

“Do you really think that an Ancient One could be held against its will?” Kali pursed her lips, blowing across the top of her coffee before taking a sip. It was good.

“Not really. It would, however, explain why this place is impenetrable. A single drop of blood from an Ancient One would contain the magic necessary to cast a spell as powerful as the Geas, and it would certainly fit why the house itself is full of so many strange creatures.” Sebastien chuckled. “How long have we been trying to crack the mystery of this place? I can’t remember the last time we had so much fun.”

Kali scowled. “Not long enough. If Garrett hadn’t stumbled upon us, we would never have even known this home was here.” That, too, was a function of the Geas. It did nothing to stand out. Earlier, she had done a blood ritual naked on the front lawn, summoning twenty foot tall pyres of fire to dance around the edges of the magical border. People walking on the sidewalk hadn’t given her a second look. The Society had spent several months interviewing locals, but, no matter how strange the tale being spread, nobody seemed to give the place a second thought. Despite their presence in the same city for several decades, it had taken a desperate man who had been kicked out of the home to bring it to their attention in the first place.

“Yes, well, if he hadn’t had such a hard-on for the last Caretaker, we could have all come here together. I hope the demon he sold his soul to for that magic wand reminds him of that on a daily basis while fucking him up the ass with a club.”

“You could contact that demon and make sure of it.” Kali grinned. “If you haven’t already.”

“Let’s just say the club is black, spiked with nails, and has my name carved into the handle.” Sebastien put away his flask. Golden rays were creeping across the sky from behind the house. “In just a few hours, we’ll be inside. I am sure of it.”

“I hope so.” Kali, however, was doubtful. She turned her attention back to the Geas, probing it gently with her magic. Sebastien was far more confident in his plan than she was, and she intended to keep trying it her way in the meantime. Down by her feet, the python flicked its tongue, wondering when it would be fed.

-

“So what do you think of my plan?” Mike asked. He was lying in the tub, his head nestled perfectly between Naia’s breasts. The sun was just starting to come up, casting crimson rays through his bedroom.

“I think it’s terrible, actually.” Naia’s hand was gently working the shaft of his cock, tendrils of water wrapped around his balls. She wasn’t trying to get him off. Rather, she was trying to assess the damage that the Mandragora had caused. Declaring that Mike’s sexual energy seemed off, a quick assessment prior to falling asleep had Naia declaring Mike unfit for duty until she could give him a full check. “I would far prefer not to get Jenny involved.”

Mike shrugged. “I don’t know that we have a choice. And to be honest, I think that we got off on the wrong foot to begin with. It makes so much more sense to give her another chance.”

“I want to try something.” Naia’s exploratory touches shifted, her grip tightening. “If I do, I want you to do your best not to cum. Do you think you can do that?”

“Easily.” Mike was too stressed out worrying about Tink, Abella, and Sofia. “What do you want to do?”

“Leave all the work to me.” Naia grinned, licking her lips hungrily. Moving one hand to the base of Mike’s shaft, she opened her mouth wide, letting her tongue circle the head of his cock before gently sucking him in with her mouth. Mike smiled at her, playfully twirling her blue and green locks in his fingers while her head bobbed up and down. Her gentle fingers tugged at the delicate skin of his scrotum, rolling his balls back and forth.

“Ngah!” Naia pulled her mouth off of him. “Your balls are bigger than they used to be.”

“Is that something I should have a doctor look at?” Mike asked.

“Oh god no. You should avoid doctors, actually.” Naia licked his frenulum, her tongue teasing the bottom of his shaft. “Unless you are bleeding to death or something. Otherwise, medical testing is off the table.”

“Why? Will they find that my genes are different or something?”

Naia stared at him, smiling through her eyes while her tongue swirled around the end of his cock. Mike felt his stomach tense, but easily dismissed it.

“No.” Naia worked his shaft now, pumping him with her hand and several tendrils of water. “They will find absolutely nothing wrong with you. That will start more questions than you care to answer.”

“Am I different though?” Mike stroked Naia’s head, guiding her back to his cock. “The soul exchange, my new danger sense. There’s no way I should be able to keep up with all of you sexually, but here we are.”

“Indeed.” Naia’s hands were glowing, a blue aura that spread across Mike’s lower body. “That would be the nymph magic. Able to please at a moment’s notice.”

“Then I am different.” Mike said.

“You are the same person you have always been. You’ve just been given certain… gifts.” Her hands moving faster, Mike’s stomach tensed up and he felt an orgasm build in his gut. He pushed it back, but the sensation persisted, building up like static between them. Naia’s eyes were suddenly uncertain, her gaze fixated on the head of his cock.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked, but Naia sucked him into her mouth, using the back of her throat to fellate him. Mike groaned, and Naia bobbed her head up and down even faster. He tightened his stomach, breathing deeply to hold back. The light radiated down his legs, creeping up toward his head. The bathroom lights flickered, the floor by the tub creaking as the pressure in the room built.

“Naia!” Mike’s whole body tensed up, but he fought back. Tiny spheres of water hovered up between them, sparkling with an inner light of their own. Naia pulled her head off the shaft of his penis, the room flooding with light as sparks flew between them, dancing across the surface of the water. Mike’s legs kicked out, splashing the bathroom with water. Naia looked up at the flickering lights as they crawled across the ceiling, migrating out to the rest of the house.

“What was that?” Mike asked.

“I don’t know.” Naia frowned. “That isn’t my magic.”

“Wait.” Mike sat up in the tub. “What do you mean it isn’t yours?”

“I think I summed it up.” Naia shrugged, her breasts rippling pleasantly in the water. “No idea. I was using a spell to assess your overall health, and that magic began to resonate with mine. It’s very wild, very old magic. It reminds me of my fountain when I was freshly created.” Naia’s eyes focused somewhere on the past. “I don’t know if it’s from the Mandragora, or something else.”

“Is it dangerous?” Mike asked.

“Not at all.” Naia raised a finger. Several of the sparks fell from the ceiling, dancing circles around her hand. “It seems familiar somehow, and-“ One of the sparks touched Naia’s finger, and her whole body went rigid. “Oh. Oh!”

“What is it?”

Naia grinned. “Mike, did something happen between you and Cecilia?”

“A few times, but you know about that.” Mike shivered, the water suddenly cold. “Am I okay?”

“Yeah, you’re okay.” Naia splashed him. The water was suddenly warm again. “Cecilia has left a mark of her own on you. When you get a chance, you should ask her about it.”

“I’ll add it to the list of things I’ll try not to forget.” Mike stood, water running off his back. “I guess I’d better start my morning. Any last minute advice?”

Naia nodded. “Yeah. Don’t fuck up.”

“Thanks.” Mike tried to splash her back, but Naia had already disappeared beneath the water. He got out of the tub, throwing on a white shirt and his pants from yesterday. Pulling up on his jeans, something slipped out of the pocket, clattering on the floor.

“Oh.” Mike picked up the crystalline necklace, inspecting it for the first time. It was a pretty blue color, and it felt cool to the touch. He flicked off the lights in the bathroom and cupped his hands together. Peeking through a gap in his fingers, he confirmed that the stone was, in fact, glowing with an inner light of its own.

That figured. The witch Sarah had been wearing a magical necklace. But what did it do? He briefly debated putting it on to see what would happen, and was immediately assailed by an image of Tink smacking him on the back of the head. Granted, she would need to be standing on something, but the image was enough. He slipped it into his pocket, reminding himself to ask Naia about it later.

In the kitchen, he heated up a couple of Eggos, loading them up with butter, peanut butter, and then syrup. He wasn’t very hungry, his nerves on edge, but he knew that he would need the energy for what was coming next. Swallowing his breakfast in ungodly large bites, he casually tossed his plate in the sink, then walked over to the door just past the kitchen.

The door to the basement. Taking a deep breath, he walked down the long steps, wondering briefly just how far down they went. The basement itself wasn’t large, and the walls were all poured concrete. By the freezer, he knelt down and found the piece of chalk that Tink had left here. Drawing a door on the wall, he knocked on it, using the pattern that Tink had taught him.

His stomach dropped when nothing happened. Just as he got ready to knock again, the chalk lines glowed brightly and the door appeared before him. He pulled it open, staring at the strange treasures lining both sides of the wall. The Vault was supposed to be a storage place for the most dangerous of items in the house, but it looked more like an antique store that had gone to shit. An old music box, a conch shell with dried blood on it, and even an Elvis bobble head. He paused at this last one, leaning in for a closer look. As soon as he was near it, he saw the faint wobble of the over-sized head, and immediately backed away.

Careful not to touch anything, he crossed to the back of the room. Sitting inside of a glass display case was a creepy looking porcelain doll. The doll regarded him with cold, lifeless eyes.

“Hello Jenny.” Mike stood and waited, unsure if the doll would even speak with him. The last time he had dealt with Jenny had been an unmitigated disaster. Jenny had lost her temper, possessed Beth’s body, and attempted to kill him. He had spent all night thinking about how he could get into the Labyrinth, and he knew of only one person now who could get him in.

A minute passed, and then another. With no response, Mike continued. “So, I think we got off to a bad start. We’ve both had a chance to cool down, and I was hoping that, if you were interested, we could come to an agreement that means you aren’t just locked away in here. The house has plenty of room, and we could make a space just for you. One with a view, maybe? I don’t know exactly what it is that you want, but you had the chance to leave and never come back, yet you came here. There must be a reason.”

He waited another minute. The Vault was silent. He could hear the steady thudding of his heart in his ears, a gentle beat that seemed to echo from the walls of the room.

“Okay, well, I thought it would be worth a shot.” Mike turned around, carefully picking his way through the room.

“Wait.” Her voice echoed across the room, coming from several places at once. Frost accumulated on the walls, and the whole Vault creaked.

Turning around, Mike crossed his arms. “Okay Jenny. I’m listening.”

Several seconds passed, and Jenny remained silent. Mike was about to leave when he felt a chill wind pass through his body, grabbing him from behind the heart and pulling him forward. The room spun around him, the Vault disappearing from sight.

-

Mike stood in a small room, staring at the door that had been painted on the wall. He ran his fingers along it, his fingers feeling the soft grains of the wood beneath. The furniture in the room had a blocky quality to it, the sofa nearest him having the appearance of cheap plastic. Mike knelt down, running his fingers along the edges. His fingers confirmed the truth.

“Jenny?” Mike called, standing up. He walked up to a window, one that wasn’t just painted on. The world outside the dollhouse was full of stars, stars that slowly moved across each other with no set direction. “Jenny, where am I?”

The only door in the room opened, creaking quietly. Rolling his eyes, Mike walked through the dollhouse. It was a close replica of his home, but several of the rooms were simply painted along the back wall. The clunky furniture closely modeled what was left in his home after Jenny’s last tantrum.

Walking down the stairs, he saw that the front room with the fireplace had a fire in it. Her back was to him, her long hair down to her waist. She faced the wall, her red dress billowing gently outward in a room with no wind.

“Where are we?” Mike asked.

“Inside your mind,” Jenny said, her voice coming from everywhere. “Trapped in a moment, walled off in a well, in the place between awake and asleep.”

“Is this a trick?” Mike asked. “Did you possess me?”

“No.” Jenny turned around. Her hair hung loose over her face, hiding her features. Goosebumps sprouted along Mike’s arms and legs. “Not possessed. Talking. Easier to talk here.”

“So I’m still in the Vault?”

“It is like being asleep.” Jenny held up a hand, clenching it dramatically. “You can wake if you want. Ta-ta, toodle ooh, thanks for coming by!”

Mike squeezed his hand, then released and squeezed again. If he concentrated, he could feel the world around him fade, feel the cold concrete beneath his feet. Relaxing, he let the dollhouse snap back into place. “So why bring me here?”

“Easier to talk. I am weak.” Mike’s mind was blasted by an image of Beth’s body riding his cock, Jenny’s soul jumping ship to go back into the doll. “We can talk here. It’s quiet, personal, safe, enjoy the fries, they’re fresh today!”

Mike rubbed his chin, doing his best to avoid staring at Jenny’s creepy visage. “You are still recovering.”

Jenny nodded, the motion causing her hair to droop and then part. He caught a glimpse of the pale face beneath those locks, and quickly looked away.

“I’m sorry we had to do that,” Mike said. “But I want to talk about it. Are you still mad?”

In response, the whole house shook. The furniture vibrated across the floor, and the walls creaked around him. Mike waggled a finger back and forth.

“Un-uh. If you throw a tantrum, I’m leaving you here for another week.” The tremor ceased, and Jenny stood, waiting.

“I don’t like it here,” Jenny said. This time, images of the Vault bounced around his head. Shadows crept from one shelf to another, objects moved on their own, and the room was full of whispers. “Not one bit, chicken little. The sky is falling.”

“Would you like to leave the Vault?” Mike asked. “And I don’t mean for a little bit. I mean for good.”

The dollhouse rumbled, but quickly settled. Jenny took a single step toward him, her body teleporting across the distance. Her figure shimmered, like static on an old tv, and he could see the dark eyes hidden behind her ominous bangs.

“Objection! Sustained! Parole for good behavior!” Her voice bounced off of the walls, assaulting him from every direction. “Yes! Please, I want to leave!” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I can feel them watching me.”

This time, he was assaulted by hundreds of images at once. He was in the Vault, watching the shadows creep closer in, then he was atop a bonfire, the flames creeping ever closer to his feet. Faces of men and women from centuries past filled his mind, followed by inhuman creatures, shadow people, and then a figure with glowing red eyes in a hat. Mike stumbled, falling backward, but Jenny seized him by his shirt, holding him up.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Mike said, his voice cracking. “But if you’re going to leave this place, you need to help me first.”

The house shook, but this time, Jenny remained quiet. Taking a deep breath, he told her exactly what he wanted.

-

Sebastien watched her with amusement and curiosity, tracing the intricate patterns Kali had scribbled in the air. The crystal in her hand glowed orange, leaving behind fluorescent trails. Kali’s spell glowed intensely, sucking energy from the Geas, expanding across the sky.

“It seems I underestimated you,” Sebastien told her, watching the letters expand until they were nearly ten feet high. Kali smiled in satisfaction, watching her spell devour the Geas. The spell she was casting had been instrumental in taking out a warlock in the 1800s.

The letters grew brighter, blinding light filling the front yard. In her hand, the crystal was suddenly too hot to touch, flames curling around her skin. Kali cast it away from her right before it detonated, the letters first crumbling in on themselves, then exploding. Kali felt the sound inside her gut, falling to one knee as the blast washed over her. It bent around Sebastien, who used his cane as a staff to protect himself. He shook his head, a small smile on his face.

“You knew that was going to happen,” Kali said, glaring at Sebastien.

“I hoped it would. Can’t have you taking all of the glory.” Sebastien crossed the grass, picking up what was left of the crystal. “Completely stripped of its magic,” he announced, crushing the crystal with his fingers. A dark powder drifted away on the slight breeze.

Kali stood up, shrugging off his comment. “No matter. I know a hundred different spells I can try.”

“And you are welcome to them.” Sebastien checked his watch, a gold Rolex with his name on the back. “However, my plan is going to start any minute now. Feel free to watch all your hard work amount to nothing.”

Kali shook her head, then put a calming hand on the snake at her side. The python lowered its head, rubbing its face against her thigh.

“We’ll see,” she whispered, gazing at the windows of the house once more.

-

Mike closed the back door, squinting in the morning light. The sun’s rays were scattered across the mist hovering over Naia’s fountain, casting rainbows of light in every direction like a giant prism. The nymph was busy dancing on the surface of the water, her white gown billowing behind her while birds flew in circles around her body.

“How did it go?” Zel asked from her spot off to the side. She had set up a table, and was busy scribbling some notes to herself in a giant leather journal while watching Naia. Mike saw that she had drawn Naia almost perfectly, a drawing that looked almost like a photograph.

“Ask her yourself.” Mike set Jenny down on the table. The doll gave a small curtsy, causing Zel to startle, her equine hindquarters briefly losing control. “Jenny, this is Zel. She’s new to the house.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Zel gave a rather eloquent bow of her own. “I am unfamiliar with your species, I’m afraid.”

“Tormented human soul trapped inside of a doll. It’s a long story.” Mike saw that Naia was no longer dancing, her attention on the three at the table. “She agreed to help.”

“But at what cost?” Naia looked doubtful, her crossed arms pressing her breasts against her chest.

Mike shook his head. “For now, her freedom from the Vault. Without a host, it takes a tremendous amount of energy for her to do anything. Speaking of which, Zel, I’m going to need a pick-me-up.”

“You just got up,” Zel said, furrowing her brow.

MIke sighed. “Being a spirit, Jenny needs to run on the energy of her surroundings. The Vault acts as a giant barrier to prevent things like her from walking off on their own. I guess I’m acting as a spiritual battery for Jenny right now, or at least that’s how she explained it to me.” He pictured the images Jenny had shown him. It had taken a bit, but once she had convinced him that she wasn’t going to eat his soul, he had agreed to be her energy source until she got a body. “We are keeping things to a minimum, but I feel like I’ve finished a brutal workout, and that’s just from our talk. Do you have anything that will give me a boost?”

“Actually, a couple of things.” Zel disappeared into the garage, and Mike followed. She had already set up shop in there, using the work bench as her apothecary. In the corner, she had built herself a bed out of several blankets he had found in the house. Zel was busy eyeballing a few flasks, holding them up to a lamp she had installed on the workbench.

“And?”

“Well, a couple of options. I’m hesitant to give you any more of that potion. Since it seems to be a spiritual drain, I can supplement some of that granola with peppermint extract and wolfsbane. That should act as an upper. I also have something that acts like adrenaline, but that’s only for emergencies. Hmm.” Zel pulled out a small mortar and pestle, crushing up some leaves. She poured in some viscous fluid from a test tube that she had, and then added some small grains of salt. It smelled like Vaporub from across the room, and Mike’s mouth went dry.

“Okay, here. Try this.” Zel presented him with a small flask.

“All of it?” Mike asked.

“Yep.” Zel nodded, her hair bouncing across her breasts. “Might taste weird, so swallow it quickly.”

Mike took her advice, and chugged the chunky liquid. It tasted disgusting, but filled his belly with an immediate warmth. The bond he had with Jenny was tangible, like a bungee cord stretched tight and threatening to drag him under. He felt its draining effects diminish significantly. “Hey, that worked pretty great. What was in there?”

“I used some dried tea leaves for their caffeine. I thought that would act as a fairly good stimulant. Black salt from a volcano, hard stuff to come by, but I have plenty. A couple other minor additives, and then your semen from yesterday.”

Mike felt his throat tighten. “My… my semen? You made me drink my semen?” He fought the urge to gag.

“You should know by now that semen is more than just cells and fluid. Human semen contains a bit of your life force, which is easily replenished. Your semen, however, is dramatically stronger than that of an ordinary human. Since you are feeling drained by the doll, I figured why not use your own life force to bolster your spiritual energy?” Zel beamed. “And it looks like it’s working!”

“Ugh.” Mike stared at his shoes. He guessed there was no helping it now. “Well, thanks. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Zel said. “You can repay me later by helping me replenish my stock.” She winked at him. “Oh, and don’t forget these!” She handed him a few of her special granola bars. “Eat them if you start feeling hungry!”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He pocketed the bars, promising himself that he would hold off unless absolutely necessary. Walking back outside, he saw that Jenny now stood on the fountain’s edge, face turned up toward Naia. He couldn’t hear what Naia was telling her, but the doll kept nodding emphatically in agreement.

“Hey. You look better.” Naia threw a sly grin at him.

“Yeah. Zel made me a potion.” Mike’s lips tightened at the memory. “I don’t feel nearly as depleted.”

“I feel the same way when I drink it too.” Naia licked her lips mischievously.

“You knew about this?”

“Zel and I sat up for a while talking about all sorts of things.” Naia winked at him. “You know us girls. Pillow fights, freezing each other’s bras, talking about boys.”

“Prank calling the neighbors, showing people your tits on the internet, ordering pizzas for people you don’t like. And apparently discussing the restorative properties of my spunk.”

“We were just comparing notes.” Naia gave him a mock pout. “I mean, if you’re going to bring strange girls home, we’re gonna talk about your junk.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I suppose that’s fair.” He looked down at Jenny. She stood patiently on the edge of the fountain. If he didn’t know any better, he would think a child had left her there. “You’re not talking about my junk with Jenny, are you?”

“That’s actually a sore subject,” Naia whispered. “The whole ‘not having a body’ issue.”

“Oh.” That made sense. Jenny had been a young woman when she had been accused of adultery then burned at the stake for being a witch some centuries ago. “I’ll tone it down a bit.”

“You’re so considerate.” Naia kissed his cheek. “So what next?”

“We wait for Beth to get here. I’m not entirely certain how I’m going to break it to her, but I’m afraid we’re going to need to borrow her body. Jenny said that she’s been through the Labyrinth, and it would be easier to guide me while inside a body. I suggested using mine, but then I would be in the doll, and not much use. That, and apparently she can’t use mine.”

“That would be the soul exchange,” Naia whispered. “Anyone who tries to boot you out ends up going against that chunk of my soul.”

“Like in the Dreamscape,” Mike said, remembering how he had found Naia hidden inside his own psyche.

“Exactly.” Naia said. “It’s your secret weapon.”

“I’ll have to remember that.” Mike crossed to the other side of the fountain. “Well, I guess I’d better get ready. I’m not sure when Beth is getting here, but she said she was coming early.”

“Good luck.” Naia waved at Mike, and he walked back inside. He grabbed the dagger from where he had hidden it, then sat on the couch with Jenny. The doll sat with him, kicking its legs on the edge of the cushion. Mike watched the doll, wary of any sudden changes in behavior. Their talk had been relatively brief, Jenny communicating through pictures in his mind more than anything else. While it was clear that she hadn’t yet forgiven him for giving her away, it sounded like she was just as ready to give him a second chance.

Mike slid the dagger out of the sheath, inspecting it for the first time. He expected a magic dagger capable of cutting through most anything to be lots of things, but boring wasn’t one of them. The dagger had a small groove in the middle, the hilt a simple T shape. The handle had been wrapped in leather that looked old. He wondered if it would glow in his hands if orcs came near. Or was it trolls? He was having trouble keeping his thoughts straight. He swung it experimentally. Could he actually use it on a living creature?

The doorbell rang, the sound echoing through the house. Taking a deep breath, Mike looked out the window. He couldn’t see who was at the door, but he could see that the woman in white was missing from his front yard. Shit.

“Please be Beth, please be Beth,” he whispered under his breath. Mike answered the door, the dagger clenched tightly behind his back. Beth stood on the porch, a bag over one shoulder and a handful of files in the other. There was no sign of the woman in white, but Mike felt the cold feeling in his gut intensify. Leaning out the door, he looked all around, wondering where she could have gone. Cecilia appeared briefly by her swing, shrugging. She had no idea either.

"Come in, quickly." He pulled Beth inside by her wrist, shutting the door behind her. Letting out a deep breath, he rubbed his face, pondering. "Did you happen to see anybody else out front?"

"No. Should I have?" The question didn't seem to faze Beth at all, which meant she must be telling the truth. It suddenly occurred to Mike that the snake woman out front could just as easily cast a spell to blend in, or even become invisible. Rubbing his face with the palms of his hand, he sighed. The anxious feeling in his gut was still there, and he was convinced that if he looked at one of the windows, he would see the witch staring back in. His mind filled with visions of the front yard, teeming in snakes. It had never actually occurred to him that inviting Beth over meant putting her life in danger.

"No, don't worry about it." He was about to tell her a lot of things, things that weren't going to make sense, and he felt that starting with a society of witches trying to break into his house would be a bad idea. "It's a long story, but we'll get around to it eventually."

"So what did you need my help with?" Beth asked. Today she wore a white blouse with a black pencil skirt that clung tightly to her thighs. She had black shoes to match, and her hair had been pulled up into a bun. Beth, as usual, was a vision to behold, but something was off about her. Mike just stared at her for a few seconds, wondering where to begin. He felt antsy, appraising Beth once more. Why couldn't he shake the danger sense in his gut?

"It's complicated," Mike told her, unsure of how to continue. "I want to show you something." He walked into the living room, standing next to the fireplace. He picked up the doll he had set on the hearth. "Do you remember when I gave you this?" He held it out.

"Yes." Beth took the doll from him with her left hand. "I took it home with me. You said to get rid of it."

"It isn't just a doll. Here, may I?" He took Jenny back from her, setting the doll down on the table. "So I suppose you are wondering how it got back here. Here, take a seat." He sat on one of the chairs. Beth made herself comfortable on the couch, setting down the files. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her blouse, then tucked away a wisp of hair that had come loose.

His whole body went numb, the feeling in his gut expanding through his limbs. What had been a simple attempt to tuck away a strand of hair had suddenly become a revelation. It was subtle, nearly impossible to notice, and even Mike had doubts. But the chill in his stomach persisted, and he had to know.

"Just a sec." Mike pulled his phone out of his pocket, and quickly snapped a picture. It only took him a second to flip the image horizontally, and a moment more to realize what it was that his mind was trying to tell him. When she had tucked away that stray hair, Mike had realized that the part in her hair was on the wrong side of her head. The Beth on his phone looked correct, a mirror image of the one sitting across from him.

"I wish you hadn't done that," Beth said. She lunged at him, stepping across the table with lightning speed and scattering her files everywhere. Strong hands caught Mike around his throat, yanking him out of his chair. Gasping for air, Mike struggled to free himself, but Beth's grip was impossible to break. She casually lifted him in the air, his legs hanging below him.

The doorbell rang.

"You need to answer the door," Beth told him. "Let him in."

"Let... who..." Mike's dangling feet kicked at Beth, but she ignored him. He swung his legs even harder, planting his foot firmly in her gut, but it was like kicking a brick wall. Beth marched him toward the door, stepping across the fallen folders. What was going on?

Jenny, still on the table, tipped over and crashed to the floor. She ran across the room, disappearing beneath the couch. The couch lifted off the ground, hovering briefly in the air before launching itself across the room at Beth. The couch busted apart on impact, Beth grunting, but ignoring the assault.

His vision going dark, Mike closed his hand around the hilt of the dagger, hoping that he was right. He sliced cleanly through Beth's wrist then fell to the floor, gasping for air. There was no blood. Instead, Beth's hand exploded into a pile of sand upon impact with the floor.

"Fuck!" Mike got to his feet, slashing wildly at Beth's other hand. The small pile of sand rolled across the floor where it merged with her foot. Beth's hand grew back, and she flexed it experimentally, her eyes never leaving Mike's.

"Answer the door, Mr. Radley." She moved toward him, her face expressionless, fingers reaching. Mike slashed with the dagger, spilling sand everywhere. It got in his eyes, and he coughed, stumbling backward and falling on the floor. She grabbed Mike, lifting him off the ground and slamming him into the wall.

Cecilia phased through the front door, hair billowing wildly behind her, white eyes wide with rage. The temperature of the room dropped, frost forming on the walls and floor. Mike placed his fingers in his ears, the dagger clattering to the floor.

The banshee screamed, her voice causing Beth's features to ripple, sand blowing off of her skin and filling the room like a miniature dust storm. Cecilia moved closer to Beth, arms wide and her body aglow with fey magic. Beth's features blurred further, sand now running off her body in torrents. Her arms thinned out, and Mike was able to break free, sliding to the floor. Mike grabbed the knife, the shrill sound sending ice through his entire body and causing his ears to ring. Stumbling to his feet, he made a run for the back door. He wasn't going to win this fight on his own.

"Mike!" Naia stood on the edge of her fountain, lines of worry written on her face. Zel stood at the other edge of the fountain, holding a water skin beneath the water. Several vials had been laid out on the fountain's edge.

"She's made of sand!" Mike shouted, the back door ripping free of its hinges. Beth walked out, a maelstrom of whirring sand following close behind to form up along the back of her body. "How do we stop sand?!?"

"That's a homunculus," Zel stated, quickly packing up her belongings and galloping off. Mike circled around the edge of the fountain, the dagger held before him. He needed a plan, but he couldn't think straight. His ears were still ringing from Cecilia's scream.

"Mike." Naia was by his side, her hand on his wrist. "Get her in the water."

Beth's eyes were focused on Mike, her hands clenching and unclenching. She stepped into the fountain, moving toward Mike and Naia. Tiny spheres of water rose into the air, circling the homunculus like angry birds. Beth swatted them away, causing large chunks of flesh to vanish into the magical swirling orbs.

"Hold on to me," Naia said, throwing her arms around Mike. Already, he could feel the swirling current on his legs, threatening to suck him under. He held her tightly, the waters of the fountain churning around them, forming a large vortex. Beth's body thinned away, the water quickly sucking away her sandy exterior. She fell apart like a sand castle blasted by ocean waves, vanishing beneath the surface. The brackish water swirled violently around them, Beth's hands attempting several times to reform at the edges of the fountain only to be swept up once more.

"What are you doing?" Mike asked, his shoes and socks ripped free of his feet.

"Getting rid of the trash," Naia said, her eyes flashing. A large watery orb began to form at the fountain's edge, the spinning waters pulling the contents of the fountain into the air. A set of hands tried to form again, emerging briefly from the sphere, but they were quickly sucked back in. A large, sandy face formed inside of the water, opening its sandy maw to scream silently at them.

"Holy shit," Mike said, watching the sphere float out over the back porch. A thin stream of water blasted itself into one of the nearby drains, and the high pressure water forced the remains of the homunculus into the small vent in the ground. The drain backed up, the sand trying once more to form a human, but Naia was ready. She forced even more water down the drain, emptying her fountain and getting rid of the homunculus.

"That should buy us plenty of time," Naia told him, staring at the drain. Zel reappeared, holding a large potted plant she had grabbed from the side of the house. She set it carefully over the drain, plugging it from above.

"Is it gone?" Mike asked.

"Nope. It's in the sewer system now. Will probably clog up a waste treatment plant before coming back later." Naia let out a sigh. "It was the only thing I could think of doing."

"Well, it was better than anything I had planned." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Thanks for saving me."

Naia beamed. "Of course, lover. But the question you should be asking yourself right now is this: if someone made a homunculus that looks like Beth, what happened to Beth?"

The implication hit Mike in the chest like a truck, and he opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the sound of screeching tires and splintering wood.

-

The stolen car slid sideways on the street, and Beth let out another scream, clutching the door handle for dear life. The ride to Mike’s house from Beth’s apartment had been an utter nightmare, with Lily dodging through traffic, taking a side street to avoid a cop that Beth never saw, all the while filling Beth in on a tale that was too fantastical to make any sort of sense.

Apparently, monsters were real, and lived among mankind. That much she got, and for whatever reason, Mike’s home was full of them. Beth had been inside the home dozens of times over the last year, and had never once spotted any sign of life. Every neuron in her brain told her to run from Lily the first chance she got, to flee the city and seek refuge somewhere where Lily, Mike, or even the Historical Preservation Society could never find her.

However, she had just escaped a mirror world, watched Lily grow a tail to shatter a window, and was currently screaming at the top of her lungs as Lily forced the car to slide sideways through an intersection, traffic narrowly missing them on both sides. One of the side mirrors was gone when Lily straightened the vehicle out, shards of metal and plastic dangling from the car door.

“How?” It was all Beth could say, her heart beating so fast that she had one hand firmly planted on her own sternum. She was riding a rollercoaster of adrenaline, and her brain was officially numb.

“I have supernatural reflexes,” Lily answered with a smirk, taking the car onto the sidewalk and through a park. It was early enough that they crossed the large field with no trouble, the tires screeching when they met back up with pavement on the other side. Beth could see the long trail of mud streaked on the road behind them.

They were in the old part of town, steadily climbing the hill to where the Radley house awaited them. She could see its familiar turrets, make out the large stone walls at the end of the street. The neighbors rarely asked questions about the house, and it suddenly occurred to Beth that it was strange that they had never once dropped by, even out of curiosity. She knew she would have.

“Almost there,” Lily told her, yanking the wheel and making the car drift. The stone lions on top of the entryway stared stoically at the sky, and Lily pushed the pedal to the metal, the tires of the car screeching as they jumped the curb and climbed the sidewalk.

“There’s a driveway!” Beth yelled, suddenly aware of the two figures standing in front of the house. A black woman in a white outfit and Sebastien, the Society’s attorney. The black woman turned to look at them, mouth open in surprise. The woman ran across the yard, something long and thick trailing behind her, taking refuge behind some bushes. Sebastien, however, tried to limp out of the way before Lily adjusted the car’s trajectory, slamming the car into the man and sending him flying. Patches of dirt and grass flew into the air as the car spun out of control, slamming into the front porch. Beth’s face met the airbag that had deployed, and her entire world was suddenly a narrow tunnel of black.

Maybe she was dreaming? The whole world no longer seemed to make sense, not since last week when she had lost a day. She had heard of lucid dreaming before. Was it possible this was all a dream? In the distance, she heard her mother calling her. She was going to be late to school.

“Mom, I’m tired.” Beth’s words were nothing more than grunts.

“Beth! Get out!” Lily shouted, pulling at Beth. She shook Beth, slapping her across the face. The sting snapped Beth out of her trance, and she opened her eyes.

“You hit that guy…” Beth replied, her words barely coherent. “With the car.”

“And if we were lucky, we killed him. Hurry up!” Lily unbuckled Beth, pulling her across the driver’s seat. Part of the porch’s roof had collapsed on top of the car, shingles sliding out onto the grass. Beth staggered in small circles before a steady hand pushed on her lower back.

“Are those sticks?” Beth asked, staring at the large number of squiggly lines that were coming to the surface of the yard. No, not sticks. These things hissed, and had teeth. Definitely not sticks. Maybe she had fallen back asleep? She was going to be late for school.

“Inside, now!” Lily pushed Beth up what was left of the stairs, the wood cracking beneath them. Together, they pushed open the front door, collapsing into the front entryway together.

Panting on the hardwood floor, Beth heard footsteps coming toward her.

“Beth?” Mike knelt down in her field of view, one hand behind his back. His face was full of both hope and doubt, and Beth noticed he was keeping his distance.

“This one’s the real deal,” Lily said, getting to her feet. Stunned, Mike stared at the intern, his mouth agape. “Hey there Romeo.”

“Lily?!?” In an instant, Mike’s body language changed. He wrapped his arms around Lily, pulling her into a tight embrace. Beth noticed the hesitation, saw Lily eventually give in and return the affection. “Oh my god, Lily, I’m so glad to see that you’re okay!”

“I’m okay too.” Beth groaned. Her head felt like it had cracked on the inside, and her brains were starting to flow out her forehead. If enough fell out, she was going to fail her Algebra test. She tried to stand, but the room went dim, and she lost her balance, falling over on her butt. Looking up at Mike and Lily, she noticed movement by her own feet. Looking down, she saw the creepy doll that Mike had given her. The doll gave her a little wave.

“Fuck it,” Beth said, letting the darkness in. Falling on her back, she heard Lily and Mike calling out to her.

-

Kali stared at the car that had rammed itself into the front porch of the house. Steam came from the hood of the vehicle, a mist that floated into the air and bounced off the protective spells on the home. She laughed, walking toward the wreckage. Her snake slithered behind her, curious if there would be something to eat.

“Clever boy,” she said, kicking at what was left of a pile of sand. Her phone rang, and she pulled it out of her pocket.

“Un-fucking believable!” Sebastien screamed in her ear. “What just fucking happened?”

“You got hit by a car,” Kali said, trying to hide the mirth in her voice.

“How? By who?” Kali wondered if Sebastien’s mustache was twitching, his face red like a cherry.

“The estate agent. She got pulled out by someone else and they are both inside now. I’m guessing that your homunculus failed?”

“I can’t fucking tell from here. It’s been so long since I’ve been in my own body, I’m all disoriented.” She heard the clatter of furniture being scattered. “I’ll be back as soon as I can get the necessary ingredients together to recompose myself. I need you to scoop as much of the sand back together as you can.”

“I’m sure you’ll be back soon enough..” Kali kicked lightly at the sand, scattering it even farther across the yard. “I guess I’m curious how you could have gotten so sloppy. You cloned the agent but left her alive?”

“I pushed her into the mirror demon’s prison,” Sebastien hissed. “There’s no way she should have escaped.”

“Then I guess Elizabeth was right. Mike Radley does possess the devil’s own luck.” Kali looked up at the house, suddenly hungry. “I’m going to enjoy taking him apart and finding out how he ticks.”

“Don’t you do anything without me!” Sebastien hung up. Kali grinned at the sandy mess in front of her, then turned away. She had better things to do than gloat. Cracking her knuckles, she set to work once more on undoing the Geas. Before Sebastien had arrived, she had found a particular flaw in the magic, a giant metaphorical crack that she felt like exploring. Focusing her magical energy, she drove it forward like a wedge, pushing hard against the fabric of reality itself.

In her pocket, her phone rang. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Kali answered it.

“Yes?” She asked.

“Did it work?” Daryl asked. It sounded like he was inside a car. Daryl typically rode in the back of a towncar, his driver a zombie. Where Sebastien was gifted in making life from nothing, Daryl was equally gifted in returning life to dead flesh.

“Of course not.”

A soft chuckle over the phone. “Well then, I guess I will move ahead with the delivery girl.”

“Do what you must. If you don’t mind, I’m busy.” Kali hung up the phone, sliding it into her pocket. She had no idea who the delivery girl was, focusing her attention instead on the magical crack once more.

This time, when she struck it, it sounded like thunder.