The Fae Court

When Beth stepped outside the house, it felt like the whole world was holding its breath in anticipation. In the middle of the hedge maze, a golden arch had formed. Surrounded by glittering light, the portal itself looked like a pool of water suspended vertically in the air.

"Looks like our ride is here." Beth looked down at Grace. The Arachne stood between her and Death, her unreadable gaze fixed on the portal. "You ready?"

Grace walked forward without them, a backpack made out of webs strapped to her back. Beth looked over at Death, who stared straight ahead at the portal.

"I am not ready," Death replied. "I feel that the odds have been deliberately stacked against us. Whatever you may say to the Fae Court will fall on deaf ears and they will mete out a most unfair justice."

"Yeah, well, we have all the evidence we need right here." She patted her own bag. "Along with the grimoire, if things become difficult."

Grace didn't bother going around the hedges and just climbed over them. Beth and Death jogged ahead to catch up with the girl, each of them taking one of her hands to slow her down. Beth absolutely did not want the child to go into the portal before she did.

Stepping through the archway elicited the sensation of falling into a pool of cold water, only nothing was wet. On the other side was the interior of a tunnel that opened into what looked to be a coliseum of sorts. Cheers and jeers filled the air as the trio arrived at the opening.

It was the same Fae Court that Beth was familiar with from her last trip here, only it was far different in appearance. The small, stony island in the center of a pool of water was the same, but the risers had been replaced with an entire stadium. They were surrounded on every side with no discernible entrance save for the one they entered through. Up above, there was a circular opening that allowed whatever passed for daylight to illuminate the space.

In the center of the room, slightly backset from the middle, was a pair of thrones. One was shattered, the sharp edges long ago weathered into smooth surfaces. At the other sat Titania.

The Queen of the Fae wore a crimson gown that made her golden hair sparkle as if it somehow burned from within. She stood from the throne and bade them forward with all four hands, her features expressionless. The mere act of seeing Titania had once rendered Beth speechless. Now, though, it was a bit like looking into the sun with a pair of sunglasses on. As long as Beth didn’t look for too long, her mind remained sharp.

"Hold." A being made of shadow appeared before the group, clad in spectral armor. "All guests of the Court must be searched."

"Of course." Beth unslung the bag. "But I need to warn you that the contents of my bag are metal, and may harm your body."

"You would bring weapons of cold iron against us?" The spectre sneered and drew a blade.

"It's evidence in our case," Beth replied coolly. "The material in question is not relevant to its intended purpose." She opened the flaps of the bag to reveal the cans inside. "To confiscate them would be detrimental to our case, thus ensuring that these proceedings are unfair." Beth looked past Titania. "Which, I believe, would be in direct violation of the Treaty we have been accused of violating."

"They violated it first!" someone shrieked in the audience. Beth didn't even bother looking at who said that.

The shadow contemplated Beth for several long seconds, then looked over at Titania.

"What else is in that bag?" she asked.

"A book."

"Is that relevant to your case?" Titania asked.

"It was suggested to me that the Fae may be interested in a potential trade involving a book," she replied. When she spoke those words, most of the crowd noises stopped.

"Do you wish to trade such a thing now?" asked Titania, her golden eyes shimmering. “Perhaps for an acquittal?”

"The book in my bag in exchange for an acquittal of all charges levied against my client?" Beth shook her head. "Why would I trade something for nothing? Those charges are positively slanderous and lacking in merit. If the Fae Court wants the book in my bag, they have to offer me something of value beyond what I intend to collect from them on this day."

"Bold words," whispered a feminine voice in Beth's ear. She shivered at the sensation of fingertips along her skin and turned to see a woman in a black gown with midnight eyes. Her skin was a royal blue hue that could only leak from the highest quality fountain pens. The woman leaned back in a regal pose, as if to allow Beth to take in the sight fully.

“Are you the one Callisto knew as Mara?” Beth asked.

The woman laughed. “I am indeed. How is the young mortal? Have you come to break my legs?”

Beth kept her face neutral as she sized the Fae princess up. Already, she had a strange compulsion to admit that Mara’s broken legs were on her mental list of demands to make. Technically speaking, though, Beth wouldn’t be the one doing the breaking.

She shook off the strange spell that had settled over her. The Fae could compel her to tell the truth, but they could not force her to speak. “I am the legal representative for the Radley family.” Beth stuck a hand in her pocket and pulled out the silver coin. “The Caretaker paid me a retainer to work for him, so here I am.”

The moment the coin was out, she felt it heat up as hundreds of Fae tested the strength of her contract in order to penetrate her mind. The metal became hot enough that it seared her skin and she feared that she might drop it. Would it still protect her? She thought it might, but didn’t dare let it slip.

“Enough,” Titania declared, and the coin went cool in Beth’s hands. “This relationship between Beth and the Caretaker is not currently in dispute. She is allowed to speak for the family.”

“But shouldn’t we all get a chance to verify her claims?” asked Mara with a pout. “Surely you wish for each of us to be sure. Isn’t experience the true teacher, after all?”

“If you wish, everyone is welcome to try it one at a time,” Titania replied. “Delaying these proceedings in order to test the veracity of her claims is well within your purview. However, having so many Fae focus on it all at once could cause more harm than has been done already.”

Mara frowned and saw that Beth had already pocketed the coin. She lifted up her hand to reveal that her fingertips were burnt and starting to blister.

“This seems like the definition of harm to me,” Beth said. “Which would be a violation of both our treaty and this Court. Have you brought me here to do me harm? Is this how the Fae Court treats people who have been invited here? Would that not be a breach of Hospitality?”

Mara laughed and extended her hand to touch Beth’s. “Of course not. Allow me to help.”

“In exchange for what?” Beth replied, yanking her hand back. “I would rather take compensation from all those who contributed to this injury.”

“I suppose we could do that,” Mara supplied. “However, they have chosen me as their representative for these proceedings. I am the Accusator of the Fae Court. If you wish, we could talk about what harm has technically been done, and then demand recompense from all those involved. However, I feel that the actions of singular Fae were negligible in comparison to the whole, and it’s entirely possible that individual compensation may fail to yield the value of the gift I offer freely.”

“And that is?”

“Let me heal your fingers,” Mara replied. “After all, when this is done and over, I want you to know that you failed even while trying your best.”

“Cocky, I see. I accept your gift.” Beth held her fingers out and allowed Mara to touch them. The skin knitted itself back together. At first, Beth thought she had been healed, but she was able to see how the magic had been woven. This was not a magic that sped up the recovery of her flesh. Instead, she watched as the burns seemed to play in reverse, as if time itself had been reversed.

Beth flexed and wiggled her fingers, then summoned her magic into each of them. She looked up to see Mara grinning like a devil, her mouth almost shark-like in appearance.

“Speaking of harm, I would like to let the accused and her legal team know that the time stream here has been synched with Earth’s,” Titania said. “There was some debate regarding this, but it was the Court’s decision that this was the best course of action.”

Mara smirked. “You’re lucky time isn’t moving much faster here. Otherwise, this trial would be over in the blink of an eye from your family’s perspective.”

“You really think you’ll win, don’t you?” Beth patted the woman condescendingly on the arm. “I bet that’s how your brother felt when he came to Earth to ambush a pair of children and got canned.”

Beth’s comment received several cheers and jeers from the stands. Mara’s facial features widened as if she were about to explode in slow motion. Beth smiled defiantly and turned away from Mara, knowing full well that any action on her part would be dealt with harshly.

They were the ones who had started this stupid game. Beth wasn’t just here to win. She fully intended to absolutely smash this place into the ground and leave no doubt in the Court’s mind that fucking with the Radleys was a dire mistake.

Mara snapped her fingers and the shadowy guard turned to face the Queen.

“That bag is bigger on the inside,” he said. “For the safety of the Court, I wish to confiscate it and ensure that the contents are as she claims.”

“This would cause a chain of custody issue,” Beth replied. “As it has been implied, this hearing is an accusation of guilt by the Fae Courts themselves. As an employee of the Court, this is tantamount to handing our evidence over to the prosecution and allowing them to make it disappear.”

“Are you suggesting we would tamper with your evidence?” asked Mara, one eye wider than the other. Beth heard the Court go silent in order to hear her response.

“Well, without having the proper opportunity to meet every member of the Court individually and discuss their personal history involving honest or dishonest behavior, I am merely erring on the side of caution in regards to upholding the responsibilities of my job.” Beth shrugged. “If the Accusator would like to grant me a personal guarantee as to the honorable behavior of every single member of the Court here, I would be open to negotiating the proper handling of such materials with the Court.”

The comment regarding a personal guarantee elicited cheers from some families and jeers from the others. With her knowledge of the Seelie and Unseelie being so divided, there were going to be people who would absolutely love to shove Mara onto her own hook. Sure, it may mean dismantling Beth’s primary defense and ruining the Radley family forever, but that was a small price to pay to destroy a political rival.

“Since the Court is so interested in seeing the evidence individually, perhaps I could just reveal the contents of my bag?” Beth flipped the bag around her shoulder and held it out. She wished Tick Tock could have come with them, but the outsider wasn’t allowed. The mimic would have been a perfect guardian for the bag. “I would be more than happy to show you everything now since you feel so unsafe.”

More cheers and jeers. This place felt more like a wrestling match than a courtroom full of immortal royalty.

“I will leave this decision to the Accusator,” Titania said. “It is my job to hear the evidence and proclaim judgement only. Such is the will of the Court.”

Mara seemed nonplussed by this answer, but Beth could tell otherwise. If she were to pull out all of her evidence now, it would prevent anyone from stealing it from her later. She and Death had deliberately spoken about the evidence outside of the house, perfectly aware that they were likely being watched.

“This bag only contains evidence?” she asked.

“And that book I mentioned.” Beth moved to reach into the bag and saw Mara tense up. Instead of pulling it out, she tilted the bag so that Mara could see the worn leather cover. The Accusator seemed to relax once she realized Beth wasn’t about to start casting powerful magic.

“Then I have no qualms regarding its contents,” she replied. “However, I wish to know what is in the child’s bag.”

Grace, who had been quietly listening this whole time, reached back over her head and shoved her hand into the spiderweb backpack. She pulled out a stuffed teddy bear in a trench coat.

“Pawpaw Cyrus,” she said, then hugged the stuffed animal.

Mara frowned. “Is this a joke?”

“Children in the mortal realm often carry stuffed animals as a means of emotional support,” Beth replied. “As she is a child undergoing proceedings that would be daunting for even an adult, it was decided that she could bring it along.”

“Does it…do anything?”

Grace nodded, then turned the stuffed bear around and put her fingers in its armpits. She made the bear wave at Mara, which elicited some chuckles from the spectators.

“Is that all?” Mara asked. Grace shook her head, then deftly looped some webbing around the bear’s limbs and dropped it. Pawpaw Cyrus did a little marionette dance for the Court, which actually earned her some light applause and more laughter. Seeing this, Mara scowled and waved a hand dismissively at Grace.

“I’ve seen enough. She can keep the toy.”

Grace scowled at the Accusator while her back was turned. When people laughed, Mara turned back around to see Grace staring with a neutral face. The Fae Princess looked at Death now, her dark eyes moving to gaze at his scythe.

“As for you, this is clearly a weapon,” she said. “What is your purpose here? This is clearly intent to do harm.”

The Grim Reaper stared at the woman, the fire in his eye sockets changing from blue to red, then white. After several long moments, he turned to look at the scythe, milking the dramatic tension.

It wasn’t just for show. Beth was hoping that any delay could be used to buy Mike more time to return. While she still expected to keep Grace safe, she wasn’t entirely sure what might happen afterward.

“Do you speak of this, Accusator Mara?” Death twirled the scythe so that the blade made a full rotation. “Does it fill you with dread? Are you frightened of it?”

Silence reigned supreme as everyone eagerly leaned forward to listen. With the Court so large, it was hard to see any detail on the faces that were further back then the closest ring, but she could see that the spectators had brought picnics with lavish food along with servants who carried wineskins.

“I feel neither of those things,” Mara replied. “But fear is not the chief indicator of potential danger.”

“Death, in and of itself, is not dangerous,” he replied. “It is the natural order of things, and it is inevitable. People generally fear what comes after, not the act itself. You see, this weapon does not represent a threat, but a promise. One day, all of you shall feel its sting as I sever the threads that bind you to life.”

“He just threatened us!” somebody shouted.

“No,” Death shouted back. “I promised! If my grammar is better than yours after only a few, short years, then you have clearly wasted your time on asinine pursuits. What business do you have sitting on a Court that makes decisions when you cannot tell one word from another? Off with you.”

The Court erupted, finding absolute delight in Death’s rebuttal. The person who had shouted, a Fae prince with a crown made of wood, turned bright red and leapt from his platform, his wings fluttering as he hovered in the air. He drew a blade from his hip.

“You have no honor!” he declared. “I demand a trial by combat!”

“What I have is no fucking tea!” Death shouted. “For I have come to the Fae Realm as a guest and not a single one of you has offered me Hospitality! How dare you speak of honor, sir!” The Grim Reaper spun, his cloak fluttering dramatically. “If this Court wishes to settle the matter of Gracelynn Radley by a duel to the death, then I accept and shall battle on behalf of the Radley family!”

The stadium roared, the sound loud enough that Beth had to cover her ears. The Fae with the sword visibly paled as several members below him actually flew up to restrain him.

Beth moved close to Grace, her eyes wide as Death hammed it up for the rapt audience.

“What is this? Is this Court full of cowards?” He swung his scythe menacingly in the direction of the Fae who had challenged him. “It takes all of you to bully a child, but none are mad enough to stand against one such as me?”

Now other members of the Court were drawing weapons, incensed by Death’s words. Beth turned toward Mara and saw that the woman was positively furious. Seeing an opportunity, she turned toward Titania.

“Is this the Hospitality of your Court?” she asked. “Have we ever shown your people such unrestrained hostility upon visiting our home?”

Titania’s golden eyes flashed, and the coliseum went quiet. Those who had flown out to challenge Death fell from the sky like leaves, fluttering wildly as they crashed into the ground.

“As the neutral governing party in these proceedings, it is the job of the Court itself to provide Hospitality,” she declared.

“And since the Accusator represents the Courts, that should have been her job?”

“At no point was Hospitality denied.” Mara’s voice was smooth as glass, but the way her eyes slid across those on the ground indicated that she was nervous. “We were simply establishing that no ill intent was established before offering it.”

“And yet somebody challenged me to a duel,” Death declared. “For the simple crime of explaining how death works. Tell me, Accusator. Did enough of your people accept my challenge that your hand is now forced? If so, then I would like to set the terms of such a fight as is my right.”

Mara’s skin turned a pretty shade of blue that reminded Beth of a summer sky. It was clearly her version of going pale. A duel to the death with the Grim Reaper was an impossible task, and surely the Fae Princess knew this. “A very small majority of the Court have lost their temper,” she replied. “As such, their decision does not constitute a change in these proceedings.”

“What a shame,” Death replied. “To finish answering your earlier question about my presence here, I come to provide evidence and act as a proper witness. I also come as Gracelynn Radley’s uncle.”

The room remained silent, other than the groans of those who had fallen from the sky. Already, shadow servants were dragging them away.

“Her uncle?” Mara asked.

“Not by blood, but by choice. For I have accepted her as my own, as she has accepted me.” To emphasize his point, Death moved next to Grace and extended his free hand, which she took. “We are family.”

Mara pursed her lips, clearly trying to figure out a way to argue this point. When she couldn’t, the woman just shrugged and looked at the Queen. “I am satisfied that no harm is intended,” she said, then turned to Beth. “Would the Radley family care for refreshments?”

“We would, actually.”

Mara grinned and snapped her fingers. Another shadow servant came forward pushing a floating stone table full of baked goods and drinks. Beth waited for the table to come to her, then perused the contents of the table.

“Are you satisfied?” Mara asked.

“No,” Death replied. “For this table lacks sufficient tea.”

Mara frowned. “A kettle of our finest has been provided right there.”

“And what of the blend?” Death picked up the kettle as his scythe disappeared. A teacup appeared in his hands, pulled from a pocket in his sleeve. “You have given me no options. Is this an herbal blend meant to soothe? Is it caffeinated? One does not simply tell another what tea they are drinking. Rather, they offer choices. Did you know I wrote a book on how to properly hold a tea ceremony?”

“We have provided Hospitality—”

“And I find it lacking. You represent the Court, do you not? And yet, you cannot even properly host a guest.” Death sighed and poured some tea into the cup. “The quality of the Hospitality shall reflect the quality of the host, and I am not impressed.”

Beth fought to keep the smile from her face. It was clear that Death was trying to bait the Court into another reaction. To her knowledge, there was nothing the Court could do to actually harm him, and he was clearly taking advantage of it.

“Am I to understand that this realm has nothing good to drink?” he continued. “As a proper connoisseur of tea, I have consumed almost every commercially available blend on Earth. How am I to know that this isn’t something you use to stain furniture with?”

“It is not intended for staining furniture.” Again, Mara’s voice was strained. “It is considered one of our finest blends. It has been crafted of the breeze from after a spring storm with just a hint of childhood memories to sweeten the taste.”

“This is some child’s memories?” Death held out the teapot. “I demand you put them back at once!”

Somebody laughed, and the Court reacted. It was a combination of nervous laughter and genuine jocularity, but as long as nobody threatened to duel Death again, they were clearly free to respond.

“One does not simply demand that we return the flesh of a meal to the animal from whence it came,” Mara replied. “If you would like a different tea, then perhaps—”

“I wish to see a list,” Death said.

“A list?”

“Yes. Is this not the fabled Faerie Court?” The Grim Reaper was grandstanding now, spreading his arms wide and twirling slowly to look at everyone. “Do you not have access to every tea imaginable? I wish to see a list of what you have and choose from it.”

Beth heard a grinding sound that made her think of crushed gravel and realized it was Mara. The Accusator’s upper lip twitched as her teeth ground together.

“Surely you can’t expect a list of all of them,” she said smoothly.

“Oh. I was unaware that such a thing was beyond your abilities,” he replied.

Mara threw a glance in Titania’s direction, but the queen remained motionless like a statue. She turned her attention to Beth.

“Would you be willing to proceed with this hearing while we get Death his list?” she asked.

“No,” Beth replied. “I am only a representative of the family, who feels like insufficient Hospitality has been given.” She looked down at the table of food and noticed that someone had added a plate of gemstones. In truth, maybe she needed to scrutinize its contents better herself. “When the Reaper has been satisfied, we will be free to continue.”

Chairs were brought, and Beth sat at the table quietly with Grace and Death as a list was created. Her heart hammered wildly as the wait stretched from ten minutes to thirty, and then an hour. Nearly four hours passed before Mara approached the table with a scroll in her hand.

“These are the blends we have available,” she muttered through her teeth, then handed the scroll over to Death.

“Good,’ he said, then reached in his robes and pulled out a pair of gold rimmed reading glasses. He put them on somehow, then slowly unfurled the list. The Fae Court lost interest and chattered amongst themselves as Death read through the entire scroll. After nearly an hour passed, he took off his glasses and looked at Mara.

“Is this really all of them?”

She nodded.

“What kind do you recommend?” he asked.

“The kind I tried to give you.” Mara’s lips twitched and Beth heard that grinding sound again.

“Lady Bethany, they have a tea here with sunrise listed as one of the ingredients.” Death turned toward Mara. “How does one use sunrise as an ingredient?”

“The light is collected in a jar,” she replied.

“Fascinating. I see another tea that can only be steeped during a solar eclipse that occurs during planetary alignment. I think that sounds fascinating. I would like that.”

“WHAT?” Mara yanked the scroll away and started reading through it. “Where did you see that?”

“I can’t remember,” Death replied, then scratched at his skull. The Accusator’s eyes bugged out of her head as she went through the entire scroll line by line. After nearly twenty minutes, she looked up. “There is no such thing in here!”

“Oh. My mistake. This is what happens when your menu is too large. I would recommend keeping a list of four or five teas to offer at most, which I touch on just a bit in my book about tea ceremonies.”

Beth almost choked on the small sandwich she was currently eating, then took a small sip of water. The water here was the most delicious she had ever had. Every time she drank some, it felt like she had fallen into the arctic, and harmless ice would form on her fingertips.

Grace had settled on destroying a fruit that looked like a pomegranate. Its seeds flew like little bees, and buzzed when she chewed them up. On the table next to her plate sat Pawpaw Cyrus, who she kept offering cookies to.

“Which tea would you like?” Mara’s face had taken on a purple hue. “Hospitality has been offered, but your actions border on offensive behavior.”

“Offensive?” Death rubbed at his jaw. “Quite the opposite. Experience is the best teacher, after all. I would like some Earl Grey. Hot.” He held up a hand. “To clarify, I do mean the tea and not some man named Earl Grey.”

“Earl Grey wasn’t on the list.”

“Oh. Shame. May I see the list again?”

Mara clutched the scroll in her hands and the paper ignited. A small inferno formed in her hands and burned out in seconds.

“We have a wonderful blend made from moonlight and the frogsong of early spring. It’s. Very. Good.” That grinding sound was back, and Beth heard something inside of Mara’s jaw crack.

“I’ll have that,” Death said.

Mara spat out part of a tooth. “It shall be done.”

Shadow servants brought forth a pot of tea a few minutes later. As steam came from the spout, Beth could actually hear the distant croaking of frogs. The sound intensified as Death poured it into his cup.

“Would you like some?” he asked Beth.

“Sure. Grace?” When she turned to the little girl, the Arachne shook her head. “Just me, then.”

“You have been offered food and drink.” Mara folded her arms. “Enough time has been wasted. We are ready to proceed with this hearing. As Accusator, it is my job to relate to you the nature of the offence along with all evidence. The Court will decide if your client is innocent or guilty. The Queen will pass judgement. Do you understand?”

Beth nodded. “I think so. Tell me, what qualifies you as Accusator for the Court?”

“I was chosen.”

“Can anyone be an Accusator?”

Mara’s eyelid twitched. “In matters of the Fae Court, an Accusator is chosen by those who claim to have suffered harm at the hands of another individual, or even family. It is far simpler this way than to have a thousand thousand voices all shouting at once to be heard.”

“Okay, I think I understand.”

“Then we shall begin.” Mara turned to face the Court, and the ground beneath her rose up, forming into a stone disk. Even though she spoke softly, her voice reached Beth’s ears with supernatural clarity. “My brethren of the Unseelie and Seelie Court, today we bear witness to the crimes committed by Gracelynn Penelope Radley in a direct violation of a treaty established between the Fae Court by our Queen and the Caretaker, Mike Radley.

“While this treaty has served to expand the boundaries of the Fae land back into the mortal realm, this breach of trust is not only proof that mortals are not to be trusted, but it is also indicative that even the children of the mortal realm have become too dangerous for our survival. Those who claim to be our allies do so only until it no longer suits them. We of the Fae Court deserve better.”

Mara turned to point a threatening finger at Grace. The Arachne looked up from her snack, clearly unbothered. “This individual is accused of an unprovoked attack on a crowned prince of the Unseelie Court. My brother would be standing among us today if not for this child’s treachery. Years of hard work in trying to find a way for Fae and mortals to live in harmony have been sundered by her reckless actions.”

Most of the crowd was openly booing now. Some of them even threw objects that bounced off an invisible shield that shimmered gold with every impact. Beth frowned at the mess that accumulated around them.

“As Accusator for the Fae Court, I shall present irrefutable evidence of these transgressions.” Mara was now facing Titania. “As Compensation, we will demand that the treaty between the Caretaker and the Fae Court be undone. The Radley family will no longer be considered our allies and their ilk shall be banned from entering our lands ever more. The child’s life shall be given in exchange for my brother’s. She will become the property of my family and magically compelled to work for us until her contributions match what my brother would have provided in the course of his natural lifetime. Then she will be executed.” The Fae princess turned toward Beth. “Do you have any questions?”

“Just a point of clarification. Your kind is immortal. Would Grace age naturally, or would you use magic to keep her alive past her natural lifespan?”

“She would be kept in the prime of her life if necessary.”

“And how do you determine what your brother could have contributed when it comes to eternal lifespans? Would not Grace’s own lifespan be sufficient?”

“Compensation is not your place to argue. That is a demand that we are making. It is the Queen’s will that binds it. Whatever she decrees shall happen in her land, as long as such a decree follows the Law.”

Beth nodded. “I understand that bit. I guess I’m trying to figure out how you assign value to my client’s lifespan versus your brother’s. Is there a chart I can look at? Do deeds hold value, or is it value as perceived by the family?”

Mara raised an eyebrow. “You cannot possibly compare the life of the Fae against that of a mortal.”

“And yet, that’s exactly what you are doing. You are already taking an elitist stance. How do I know that your brother wasn’t a drain on society? If I ask a few random families what they thought of your brother, would they agree with your assessment?” Beth gestured at everyone watching. “Since you represent the Fae Court, shouldn’t they get a say on what your brother is worth?”

The Accusator scowled and locked eyes with Beth. A musty smell like a wet crawlspace filled Beth’s nostrils.

“I am acting as an Accusator for the Fae Court in regards to breaking the treaty. I am also acting as Accusator for my family, which is why we get a direct say in Compensation.”

Beth looked away from Mara and rubbed her nose to get the odd smell out. She turned her attention to Titania. “As the neutral observer, can you summarize how Compensation is determined for me?”

The Fae Queen nodded. “If the Court decrees that true harm was done, then Compensation can be demanded. You can ask for anything you wish, but a majority of the Court has to agree that the punishment itself is considered fair. If a majority cannot be reached, then you have demanded too much, and no Compensation is granted.”

Now that was interesting. It was a system of justice that required thoughtful punishment. “Am I allowed to poll the Court early and see if the Compensation demanded is seen as just and fair?”

Titania raised an eyebrow. This was clearly a question she hadn’t expected. “No. The Court itself is only interested in the truth that has been presented. While I cannot surmise their current thoughts on the matter, I will say that such a large gathering as this typically requires a level of communication beyond what is normally seen.”

“Your Majesty.” Mara narrowed her eyes. “You skirt the edges of neutrality.”

“I do not,” Titania countered. “I am merely informing the accused’s representative that much effort was made to ensure the full attendance of the Court at this hearing. They need to understand that this accusation is not baseless nor based on opinion alone. My children have a very vested interest in seeing the truth of this matter along with ensuring that justice is done.”

While Titania’s words were honeyed and seemed to satisfy Mara, Beth heard the truth behind them.

The Fae have been working together on this for a long time. There is already a majority in agreement.

“If the human is done asking about how the Fae Court runs its hearings, may we begin?” Mara shook her head. “We are only delaying the inevitable.”

“What is a few minutes to the Fae?” asked Beth. “If you really are eternal, surely that time has no real value.”

“Living an eternal life does not mean we do not find precious moments within it.” Mara’s eyes glittered like black opals in the sun. “These minutes have felt like a lifetime of their own due to the sensitive nature of your crimes. The Court demands justice.”

Beth smiled, then laughed. Mara stared at her in shock and the whole Court went quiet as the lawyer held her stomach.

“Okay, okay,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye. “That’s exactly what I needed. Where were we in the proceedings?”

“I have introduced myself to the Court.” Mara studied Beth with curiosity. “Before we continue, I must ask if you are mentally sound. If not, then I will be required by the Court to ask the accused whether they wish to continue employing you.”

“Wouldn’t a mentally unwell person tell you they were fine?” Beth shook her head. “My mental faculties are fine. I’m just in a good mood is all.”

The spectators laughed and jeered. Those who had fallen from the sky had been completely removed, and shadowy servants had come out to sweep and manicure the ground where they had landed until it was clean. Small flowers grew in some of these places, and one small fairy ring of mushrooms had already formed.

Beth waited for the din to settle naturally and then turned to address the court. “My name is Bethany. I am the legal counsel for the Radley family. Today, I will be serving multiple roles. First and foremost, I will be acting as the defense attorney for not just Grace, but the Radley family as a whole. While the Fae Court is certainly invested in learning the entire truth regarding any potential negative dealings between our people and your own, they should know that we have a saying on Earth that goes like this: when you turn over rocks, don’t be surprised if you find worms.”

“Of course you’d find worms,” said Mara.

“Agreed. In this case, I believe we will discover certain uncomfortable truths that will force the Fae Court to acknowledge that there exist those among you who plot and scheme to your detriment.”

Mara rolled her eyes. “Of course you’ll find those who plot and scheme to our detriment. Have you only come here to point out the obvious, defense attorney? If so, then perhaps you should inform the Court that this child and her family are guilty of the accusations leveled and save us some time.”

Beth frowned. She had been hoping to have a bit more impact with her opening statement, but she immediately saw her mistake. Of course some of the Fae in attendance were scheming bastards. That was part of the game, wasn’t it? The Seelie and Unseelie were traditionally considered at opposite ends of the spectrum in regards to their behavior and general dealings, but to them, there really wasn’t a Good or Bad. Just glorious chaos in a land ruled by Laws. Having everyone in the room know that you cheated them but unable to prove it, well, that simply made your win all that much sweeter.

“What I am trying to say is that I intend to prove that Grace is innocent of what she has been accused.” Beth waited for some of the idle chatter to settle before continuing. “Once this is completed, my secondary role is as Accusator for the Radley family to establish and prove that members of the Fae Court conspired against us in violation of the treaty we hold with the Queen of the Fae.”

That elicited a reaction. Howling, shouting, and maniacal laughter filled her ears as the Court reacted. This was the chaos they thrived on. One way or another, they were going to get a show.

Mara laughed. “You should know that a false accusation with a lack of evidence will be seen as—”

“I have evidence,” Beth said, glancing at her bag. “More than enough.”

Mara’s jaw snapped shut like a crocodile’s. “We shall see,” she said.

“Of course you will,” Beth replied, briefly adapting Mara’s previous tone. “I just said I would show it to you.”

The Court erupted. The cacophony was so overwhelming that Beth couldn’t make out a single individual sound. However, if looks could kill, then Mara would have killed her a hundred times over already.

“Silence.” Titania’s voice cut through the noise like a knife, and everyone became still. Beth raised an eyebrow and made a show of looking impressed.

“You hold a tight Court, your Majesty.”

“Would that were true,” Titania replied with a neutral expression.

“Once I am finished with my second role as Accusator, I shall be entering my third role as Accusator for Zelenia Radley on behalf of the Moon Tribe.” Beth narrowed her eyes. “The Court should be aware that Compensation demanded will include the immediate return of all centaurs taken. Their abduction is currently being viewed as an act of war by the Moon Tribe. Any punitive actions taken against these centaurs after this declaration will be seen as a war crime by the Radley family itself, and further Compensation, up to and including the deaths of everyone involved in such actions, will be demanded.”

The Court exploded. They weren’t just getting a double-feature, this was an official triple threat! Either Beth was about to pull off the scheme of a lifetime, or they were about to see the beginning of the end for the Caretaker and his family. Fae were already donning armor and drawing weapons at just the thought of war as festival music filled the air. Beth closed her eyes and felt like her body was being lifted aloft by thousands of tiny hands.

“Enough.” Titania’s command smashed through the commotion. “As of right now, any centaurs taken from the Moon Tribe are to be held in a separate detention center for their own protection. Any who seek to do them harm before these proceedings have ended shall be Bound and given to the Radley family, regardless of the outcome of this hearing.”

“She can’t just start another hearing like this,” Mara protested. “Her first role of Accusator is relevant to the events that have brought us here, I grant her that. But the Moon Tribe incident is a separate event entirely.”

“Accusator?” Titania looked at Beth for a rebuttal.

“I intend to prove that the Moon Tribe incident was actually a carefully calculated plot in order to frame the Radley family for the accusation leveled against Grace.” Beth pointed at Mara. “In fact, the Accusator’s family was directly responsible for spearheading this effort.”

“A likely story.” Mara crossed her arms.

“I know. That’s why I said it.” Antagonizing Mara was probably a bad idea, but Beth could only assume that the Fae Princess could choose any reason to be upset if she wanted. By the time Beth was done with her, well…

It wasn’t going to be pretty. Beth looked at Titania, who was studying her with a thoughtful look on her face.

“If you are able to successfully defend the child and prove successful in your first role as Accusator, then I believe the Radley family will have a valid claim in regards to your tertiary role.” Titania turned her attention to Mara. “Unless you have a logical objection?”

“I do not, Your Majesty.” The Fae Princess seethed quietly as fog seemed to boil out from beneath her robes.

Titania addressed Beth. “Continue, then.”

Before Beth could speak, Mara interrupted. “Are there any more roles you intend to take?”

“My introduction is done,” Beth replied. “Shall we begin?”

Mara nodded. “We shall.” She clapped her hands and the circle of stone carried her aloft. Again, when she spoke, it sounded as if her voice was right next to Beth’s ear. “As Accusator, I will share with you proof that the Radley family has a malevolent attitude toward the Fae. The reason for doing so is to help you understand the events leading up to my brother’s disappearance and likely death and to see it as not only a premeditated crime, but a conspiracy amongst the Radley family as a whole.”

Beth ignored the jeers and moved to sit back at the table. She briefly met the Arachne’s gaze. Grace seemed wholly unconcerned.

“It was decided by the Fae Court that the Caretaker would be approached by members of both the Seelie and Unseelie Court in order to establish potential intent to either harm our people or way of life. To our consternation and surprise, we learned that the Radley family had spent time decorating their landscape with bells and other deterrents that the Fae find irritating.” Mara raised an eyebrow. “This is the opposite of Hospitality.”

“Objection!” Beth raised her arm and stood. “Wait, is this how I point out that the Accusator is misstating the truth?”

“What truth have I misstated? Did a member of the Radley family put up bells and windchimes with the express purpose of deterring the Fae? Is this not indicative of a gross disrespect for our kind and Hospitality as a whole?” Mara had the audience in a small uproar. For this supposed crime alone, many Fae were demanding blood.

“Okay, controlled chaos, got it.” Beth looked at the Grim Reaper. “Death, what can you tell us regarding the bells and windchimes added to our property?”

Death rose and stared at the Court. Eventually, the din died down enough that he was willing to speak.

“Upon Tinker Radley’s affliction, she became confined to the Library to place her in a state of temporal stasis,” he said. “Gracelynn Radley sees Tinker as a primary mother figure. The two have a special connection. It was decided as a family that she could not go to the Library, as it might be months or years that Tinker remains sequestered there. The child is meant to grow. Therefore, as her uncle, I took it upon myself to give the child some projects to keep her busy. As you may not be aware, she can be very…productive.”

The Court looked over at the table and saw that Grace had already smashed all of the fruit that contained buzzing seeds and was using the juices to draw a picture of a photorealistic jumping spider’s face. The image looked like it threatened to leap free of the table at any moment.

“If Grace were an ordinary child, we would have perhaps completed one chime, if that. But she is rather extraordinary, after all. Therefore, the property was inundated with them.” Death paused to sip at his tea. “I will also have you know that we asked the resident Fae in our garden about placement to avoid irritating them. Naturally, this resulted in a higher concentration of bells and chimes around the edge of the property. If we had known the Court was sending emissaries, I would have altered those placements.”

Beth gestured at Grace. “So is the Court itself so petty that it views the constructive play of a child in her own home as threatening? In fact, was Hospitality not given to the Seelie representative when she announced herself?”

“It was, actually.” Death grinned. “The Lady Nyx was provided with tea and snacks, as well as my personal attention.”

Mara glared at Death. “The timing of these installations is highly suspect.”

The Grim Reaper turned his head unnaturally far to face her. “I was unaware that the Radley family’s personal issues were on the Court’s timeline. If your questions were so important that they couldn’t wait, perhaps a text or an email would have been more prudent.”

“There is a lack of proof from the Accusator in this manner,” Beth stated. “Only performative speculation.”

“Performative?” Mara scoffed.

Beth shrugged. “I could just say you’re full of shit.” This got some laughter from the crowd.

Mara stomped around and tried to regain focus. “But what have you to say about the Unseelie messengers who disappeared around your property? Many of them were sent, yet none returned.”

“Did you report these disappearances to us?” Beth asked. “In fact, the first I heard of this issue was an Unseelie messenger who threatened my life before even asking the question.”

“Why didn’t you answer their question?” Mara demanded.

“Tell you what. Let’s take things in chronological order.” Beth crossed her arms and stared the Unseelie down. “If you will provide the messenger, I think we should ask why my life was threatened. I think the Court will be very interested to hear what they have to say about that, especially the part where they revealed to me that the question was a personal one, rather than an official inquiry.”

That caused a small stir among the crowd, and Beth let it simmer. When nothing happened, she confronted Mara. “Well? Where is this messenger?”

“They are…not here,” she replied with a scowl.

“I find the timing of this Fae’s location highly suspect,” Beth sneered. More laughter from the crowd, followed by cheers. “In fact, other than the Seelie Princess Nyx, the only person to come in an official capacity was the Queen herself, who informed us of this hearing.”

At the mention of the Queen’s involvement, the court settled down as Beth turned to face Titania, careful to look past her. It still felt a little too much like staring into the sun.

“Your Majesty, upon your arrival to the house, were you provided Hospitality?”

“I was,” Titania answered.

“Of what nature?”

“I was offered food and drink,” she said. “We exchanged idle pleasantries, and then I was given two gifts.”

“Tell us about those gifts.”

Titania held out two hands. In one, Grace’s drawing appeared. In the other, a crossbow bolt.

“The child made this for me during my visit,” she said. “The crossbow bolt was a gift from Zelenia, Chieftain of the Moon Tribe.”

“Your Majesty, was your visit before or after the taking of the centaurs from the Moon Tribe?”

Titania’s lip shifted, briefly revealing a smile that reminded Beth of what it was like to be a child held in her mother’s arms. “It was after.”

“So Zelenia of the Moon Tribe, stricken with grief and anger at the Fae, still provided proper Hospitality?”

“She did,” Titania replied. Mara looked like she had been physically struck.

“Interesting. The Radley family still provided Hospitality even after one of its members had been directly harmed by the Fae.”

“Objection,” Mara whined. “Harm has yet to be determined.”

“Whether harm has been validated by your people or not, Zel Radley was firmly under the belief that her tribe and her child had been done harm by the Fae.” Beth addressed the box seats closest to her. “If the Radley family abducted many of your people and then came to your home, would you still abide by the rules of Hospitality?”

The family in the box strongly resembled bears. The biggest one stood and shook his head.

“We would consider you an enemy,” he said, his voice like gravel.

“Don’t address the Court directly,” Mara said. “I am their mouthpiece. They speak through me as Accusator.”

“I repeat my question to all of you!” Beth shouted. Mara opened her mouth and winced instead of replying. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought. You are zero for two, Accusator.”

Mara clenched her teeth, then relaxed and smoothed out her dress. The Fae wandered over to the table and picked up a small nut, which she crushed between her teeth. With a thoughtful grin, she addressed the Court.

“On the night of Samhain, Callisto and Gracelynn Radley attacked my brother, knowing full well that he was a Prince of the Unseelie Court. The evidence I bring to you is directly from the memories of Callisto Radley himself.” The Unseelie Princess gave Beth a wicked smile. “I will remind the members of the Fae Court that Callisto’s visual acuity is comparable to a human’s. There are limitations to some of the sights and sounds you are about to witness.”

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Beth was about to ask when darkness swarmed her vision. After a moment of disorientation, she was standing on a sidewalk surrounded by other children when a dark figure emerged from the bushes.

“Greetings, children. How are you this fine Samhain eve?” The sinister looking Fae was immediately familiar to Beth. It was the same one that had tried to attack her in the park.

“You are of the Fae. We are currently unmolested,” Callisto replied. “And shall continue to be so should you let us leave.”

Something was off about the way Callisto spoke, but Beth couldn’t put her finger on what. The memory froze in place, and Mara’s voice filled Beth’s ear.

“Do you hear how much disdain is in this child’s voice?” Mara asked. “There is an automatic assumption of guilt on the part of Callisto Radley. Is there a reason for this? Was he taught to treat the Fae with open disdain?”

“Objection.” Beth’s voice cut through the memory. “Speculation.”

“Of course it’s speculation,” Mara replied smoothly. “I’m the Accusator and must share my thoughts on the matter.”

Beth waited for Titania to make a ruling, but the memory continued without one. The memory became extremely dark, making it hard to see much of anything.

“I’m a centaur,” Callisto said. “My hooves are capable of crushing a human’s toes if I’m not careful. It is reasonable that I should expect my elders to exercise caution.”

“Surely you cannot fault me for the way I was born,” the prince replied.

“Do you hear how he threatens a prince of the Court with harm?” Mara asked, her voice incredulous. Beth immediately saw through the guise and raised her hand, then realized nobody could see her.

“This memory has been tampered with,” she said.

“Can you prove it?” Titania asked.

Beth frowned. “Not yet.”

“Then the Accusator shall continue.”

Fuck. Well, she should have expected this level of bullshit. In a way, she had, but blatantly editing a memory wasn’t something she had accounted for.

“We should open negotiations,” Callisto said. “It’s to be blackmail?”

“Your Majesty, you can clearly hear that Callisto is asking a question.” Beth tried to back out of the memory, but realized she couldn’t. “For a young man with an extreme grasp of syntax and grammar, it is clear that the second half of his statement has come from somewhere else.”

“Can you prove it?” Titania asked.

“I just gave proof,” Beth replied.

Mara laughed. “I firmly believe that Callisto is asking his sister if they should blackmail the Prince.”

“Blackmail him for what?”

“So that they don’t harm him.” Mara’s voice became angry. “When you hear what happens next, everyone will understand.”

Growling in frustration, Beth was forced to listen as the poorly lit memory continued.

“Self-defense,” Grace said.

“Grace, don’t!” Callisto cried.

“Where did you get that book!?!” The Unseelie Prince let out a scream of pain, the memory suddenly highlighted as a ball of fire washed over him. The fireball somehow washed out Beth’s vision, and she watched as the prince stumbled away, his body collapsing in on itself and disappearing from view. Somehow, despite the prince being ‘dead’, everyone in the Court was treated to a distorted warbling effect, as if his cries of agony were slowed down dramatically.

To Beth, it was a pathetic attempt to rewrite events as they had happened. But when the memory faded, the Fae Court had seen it as something else entirely. Members of the audience were demanding retribution, many of them still armed from earlier. Threats of death rained down from above, some of the words taking literal shape as cloudy daggers that dissipated shortly before reaching the child. Death stared into the stands, his eyes blazing defiantly.

“These memories are incomplete,” she stated. “As such, I move that the Court extract them again from Callisto in their original state.”

Mara tsk-tsked behind Beth. “According to you, this would be a chain of custody issue. How do we know those memories haven’t already been altered since I extracted them to fit your own agenda? You do have the Grimoire of Morgan Le Faye after all. It would be literal child’s play to twist events to suit your needs.”

“The Accusator has a point,” Titania said.

“Based on what?” Beth practically yelled.

“The Court’s opinion,” Titania replied.

“Well, then, what about Grace’s memories?” Beth gestured at the Arachne. “We could watch them anew.”

“To which I argue we have the same problem.” Mara slid up next to Beth and placed her fingers on Beth’s shoulders. They were long, and made Beth think of worms. “How do we know you haven’t altered her memories? A child’s memories are very delicate, after all. So easily…reorganized.”

Beth scowled. “Are you telling me that only a member of the Fae Court could be expected to recall an event so clearly?”

“But of course.” Mara grinned. The shouting from above sounded like a storm breaking.

“Well I agree.” Beth reached for her bag. “Which is why I think we should speak to one.” When she stuck her hand inside, her fingers closed around something smooth and round. She wasn’t surprised at all when she pulled out a stone.

When had the theft taken place? Most likely, during the memory. It wouldn’t have been hard for someone to walk right up to her and exchange the contents of her bag without her realizing.

“Is everything okay?” Mara asked.

“Of course,” Beth replied. “It’s just that someone has stolen from me during the course of these proceedings. I don’t suppose I could ask the thief to come forward?”

The Fae Court laughed. Beth scanned the audience, then looked at Mara. The Unseelie Princess was looking quite smug right now.

“I’m starting to think there was never any evidence in that bag,” Mara said.

“Well, I did stretch the truth a little bit,” Beth said. “I claimed that I was coming in with evidence, but it wasn’t evidence yet.”

Mara frowned. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, the actual evidence is over there.” Beth pointed at Grace. The Arachne nodded and ripped the backpack made of webs off of her back and set it on the table. With a yank, she ripped the inner webbing free to reveal a small fanny pack, which she opened and stuck her arm into. One at a time, she pulled out a collection of metal cans, followed by a thermos.

“What is the meaning of this?” Mara demanded. “You said that she was just carrying a toy!”

“Did I?” Beth asked. “Or did you just assume? If you really believed her to be the dangerous person you painted her to be, you would have scrutinized the contents of her bag far better and not just taken her at her word.”

“You lied to the Court!” Mara was now purple with rage.

Beth shook her head. “Do you have something similar to a stenographer? I’m sure we can have my words read back to me. Oh, I know! We could rip the memories out of your head and watch them together.” The lawyer clapped her hands together and folded her fingers up, resting her chin on just her index fingers. “But while we’re on the topic of doing things that the Court doesn’t like, it would seem that a particularly egregious crime has occurred here that we should probably address. Your Majesty, I’m afraid that a member of the Fae Court just broke the treaty your people have with the Radley family.”

Titania raised an eyebrow. “Now that is an extremely bold claim. Can you prove it?”

Beth smirked. “I can, actually. You see, Your Majesty, the Radley family has given plenty of lenience to the Fae Court to allow them time to not only adapt to our unique arrangement, but to dig their own grave if need be. When I claimed that I was carrying evidence of a crime yet to be committed, it’s because we suspected that someone in the Court would attempt to stack the deck against us. A protected member of the Radley family was just abducted from my bag.”

“What?” Now Mara went from purple to a color not far from white. “That can’t be true.”

Beth put two fingers in her mouth and blew a sharp whistle. In a viewing box on the ground floor, there was an explosion of magic as Opal erupted from wherever her bottle had been hidden away. The slime girl briefly did battle with members of the Fae Court who definitely had a familial resemblance to Mara, though their skin was green. Titania’s eyes flared with light and Opal was immediately ejected from the box where she landed on the stage next to Beth.

“You’re a Primordial,” Titania declared. Opal nodded. “How did you come to be here?”

“She does not speak.” Beth moved next to Opal. “I was carrying a book in my bag that I had hollowed out. So many tricksters are part of the Fae Court that I felt they may appreciate the book my friend Ratu had made that is capable of hiding small organisms, but Opal was the only one in the Radley family capable of hiding inside of it. I thought they might wish to trade me for it.” This last part was a half-truth. The fairy girls had all begged to be part of the scheme, but Beth figured there was a very high chance they might get bored and bail early.

Titania locked eyes with the Fae family in the box. Her eyes became like stars as a heavy pressure descended on the entire Court. Beth grunted as she fought to stay on her feet.

“What is the meaning of this?” Titania demanded.

A tall, thin figure with green skin and pointed ears gasped as he fell forward against the front of the box. His family members all winced and fell to their knees.

“It…we…” The man briefly looked at Mara, who made a point of ignoring him. “We wanted the book. We thought it was the Grimoire and wanted it for ourselves!”

Even Beth could hear the half-truth in his words. Yes, they wanted the Grimoire, and likely omitted Mara’s involvement.

“Your punishment will be at my discretion pending the verdict on whether or not Gracelynn Radley already violated our treaty,” said Titania, who turned her gaze on Beth. “Share your evidence.”

“Gladly. Grace? Let him out.”

The Arachne twisted the top of her thermos open and held it upside down. A paper-thin figure slid free, his body rolled into a tube to fit inside. The Fae Prince’s scorched flesh mended as he let out a high-pitched wail of agony.

“You have taken depth from him,” Titania said. Grace stared back at the Queen and nodded, then gave the Fae a poke with her finger. He fluttered forward, unable to stand on his own.

“Is there a way to see his memory of the event?” Beth asked. “According to the Accusator, a member of the Fae Court would be able to properly remember an event.”

“We can,” Titania said, then snapped her fingers. In a box seat up above, a woman with gossamer wings descended to stand near Grace. At first, Beth thought that the woman was Nyx, but the resemblance was only passing.

The Fae picked up the Prince in her hands and studied him with open disdain. “Remember,” she whispered, then blew her breath across him.

The Prince spiraled in the air like a leaf caught in a vortex. All around him, a memory played out revealing that he had come to the mortal realm with an entourage of changelings. The full memory was only about ten minutes long. It became immediately clear to everyone watching that not only had the Prince arrived with ill intent toward the children, but that Grace had acted purely in self-defense to keep the Grimoire from being stolen.

By the time the memory had played out, Titania’s golden eyes had gone molten. Liquid light ran down her cheeks and smoldered where it hit the ground.

Mara was speechless as the Court quietly murmured to each other.

“Your Majesty, there is more.” Beth gestured to the closest can. “You see, after you came to us in an official capacity regarding allegations against the Radley family, we immediately launched our own inquiry into matters. It would seem that members of the Unseelie Court did send messengers to our home, but they hid their true nature from us and were summarily captured.”

Titania blinked, and the molten gold vanished. “Explain,” she demanded.

Grace picked up one of the cans and gave it a shake. “Bug,” she declared, then ripped the top off and dumped what looked like a half-eaten cockroach out. The bug skittered about madly for a moment, then levitated in the air and transformed into a tiny humanoid. The two-dimensional prince was still fluttering in place, his maddening cries now a distant wail.

“With Tinker Radley gone from the home, Death was trying to keep Grace busy,” Beth explained. “They took it upon themselves to do repairs around the house in her stead.”

“Actually, we were trying to maintain the grounds,” Death interjected. “In describing this activity to Grace, I inferred that we needed to keep our eye out for pests that may try to damage the infrastructure of the place.”

“Pests cannot harm the Radley house,” Mara said.

“And what harm is it to let a child with a spider’s body hunt bugs?” Beth replied. “Maybe if they had announced they were Fae instead of sneaking about, she wouldn’t have locked them up. I would be very interested in learning why they continued to take this approach after the first one vanished.”

“As would I.” Titania stood. “As a neutral party, we all would like to hear what the shapeshifter has to say, unless the Accusator has a reason we should not.”

“I…” Mara was picking at her hands now. “I do not, Your Majesty.”

Titania held out a palm, and the shapeshifter was ripped through the air toward her, where it hovered in place.

“For what purpose were you created?” she demanded.

“Infiltration,” it squawked.

“By what means?”

“Any,” it replied, gasping for air. “My plan was to become a parasite inside of one of the Radleys so that we could gain entry to the house!”

“Who created you?”

“Him.” The Fae pointed at the Prince swirling about.

“Anything else we should know?”

“Please, my whole life has been nothing but—” The Fae exploded, showering the nearby area with a substance that looked like clay, but smelled like shit.

“Show me the next,” Titania demanded. One by one, Grace’s prisoners were freed. Mice, grasshoppers, and stink bugs were all revealed to be shapeshifters attempting infiltration. Every single one of them fingered the Prince as the mastermind. Once their testimony was gathered, Titania detonated them. The mess was contained, none of it finding Beth or the others.

When the deed was done, Titania glowered at the Prince who fluttered about. She snatched him up like a piece of paper and glowered at him.

“Your Majesty,” he whimpered.

Titania looked at Beth, the Court, and then Mara. “The Accusator has presented zero evidence of wrong-doing by the child Gracelynn. In fact, a secret plot was revealed, the machinations of this member of the Court right here. Is there any further accusations that the Accusator would like to make in this matter?”

Mara looked like she was going to be sick. “The Court…agrees with your assessment.”

Titania nodded, then ripped the Prince in half. There was a burst of wind, followed by the smell of decaying leaves. His screams filled the Court as Titania stacked the pieces and tore them again. She repeated the process a few more times before tossing him to the breeze. A light wind picked the pieces up and carried them aloft toward the opening above.

“Let those who hear his undying cries learn a valuable lesson,” Titania declared, then pointed at one of the boxes. “As for those who attempted to hide this crime by committing another, they have been dealt with as well.”

“Who?” Beth asked, then turned to see what the Queen was pointing at. One of the box seats was surprisingly empty, other than several flower petals that drifted away from the box and melted into steam on contact with the ground. Frowning, Beth felt like she had forgotten something important, then shrugged. For some reason, she knew it didn’t really matter. “Wait, don’t we get to demand Compensation for what they did?”

“That will come later,” Titania said. “Your role as Accusator for the Moon Tribe hinged on your success in this first endeavor, so we will withhold all discussions of Compensation until the very end.”

“But you…” Beth mimed tearing up a piece of paper.

Titania shrugged. “He displeased me. If you really wish, I can have him reassembled. However, the Unseelie Prince was not part of what happened to the Moon Tribe, so you will need to factor this into the Compensation demanded.”

“I understand.” The hidden message here was that tearing the Prince into pieces and tossing him to the wind was a bonus. If Titania put him back together, Beth doubted she could ask for anything better.

Besides, her current idea for Compensation would cast a far wider net of misery.

“The Moon Tribe has been harmed by members of the Fae Court,” Beth began. “Only a few days ago in Earth time, the Accusator standing here infiltrated the Moon Tribe with other Fae and abducted several of its members in order to target Callisto Radley. This caused direct harm to the Moon Tribe, Zelenia Radley, and Callisto Radley.”

“Nobody remaining was physically harmed,” Mara said with a shit-eating grin.

“At a minimum, they were emotionally harmed,” Beth replied.

“That’s not our fault.” Mara turned to address the others. “You see, we erased everybody’s memories so that they wouldn’t remember those they lost. You can’t suffer harm for missing somebody that was never there to begin with.”

“Except Callisto Radley remembered,” Beth said. “And once the tribe learned what had happened, it became easy for them to deduce that important people were missing.”

“We mitigated harm.” Mara grinned. “It’s not our fault that Callisto Radley somehow remembered. He shouldn’t have.”

“Why did you target Callisto?” Beth asked.

“Who said I did?” Mara replied. “The Fae has been known to abduct mortals from time to time. It is not forbidden. I chanced upon the child and realized he may have information leading to my…brother.” The woman’s eyes flicked to the thermos laying on its side on the table. It was almost like she had just remembered what had transpired. “And so we made a trade.”

“Are you really going to argue that this was just a typical abduction?”

Mara grinned. “Callisto Radley and Zelenia Radley were off-limits. The others did trade with the Fae. It was just a matter of commerce. In fact, we should be lauded for trying to establish trade relations with the mortal realm.”

“How many negotiations have your family made in the last ten years?” Beth asked.

Mara faltered. “Why does it matter?”

“Because if I can prove that you don’t regularly pop out and offer asinine trades with mortals, it means that the Moon Tribe was targeted on purpose,” Beth replied. “I’ve been made aware that the journey there was much harder than, say, going to New York or London. So if you can establish a long-term pattern of this behavior, then your logic is sound.”

The Unseelie Princess fidgeted. “Ten years in our realm or yours?”

“The mortal realm.”

“Eighty,” she replied. “However, as I suggested before, we were trying to branch out and establish contact with those outside the Fae realm. After so much time and dedication from the Caretaker, we knew the Moon Tribe would be a safe place for us to visit.”

Smooth bitch, Beth thought. Yes, it was a bullshit excuse, but the kind that other Fae would accept.

“Just because the centaurs made bad trades doesn’t mean we did harm, though,” Mara continued. “As I stated before, we even made it so that the tribe wouldn’t remember a thing. This is proof that we were avoiding harm.”

Beth shook her head. “So you chose the Moon Tribe because of their relationship with the Caretaker?”

The Princess nodded. “Because they were safe to approach. You can’t fault us for that.”

“And then you forced Callisto Radley to negotiate your departure?”

“He asked us to leave,” she said with a grin. Beth wanted so badly to slap that smile off her face. “But we were doing business. Out of respect for his status as a Radley, I gave him the opportunity to negotiate with me.”

“Why didn’t you announce your presence to the chieftain first?” Beth asked. “Why not deal directly with the leader of the tribe?”

“The land around the tribe belongs to nobody,” Mara replied. “And it was Callisto who found me, not Zelenia. I was in the middle of a transaction.”

“Can you describe the transaction?”

Mara laughed. “I talked a rock into becoming a butterfly, and a centaur child begged me to do it again. I was promised anything in exchange, and so I took everything that I could.”

General murmurs of assent came from the Court. This was standard operating procedure for them. They certainly didn’t care if the trade was considered off balance.

“You negotiated a trade with a child?”

“A decade for me is a three-day weekend for a mortal.” The Unseelie Princess looked smug. “Your kind live insect lives. That child would be considered an adult in just a few more years. I fail to see the issue here.”

“But you know that you negotiated trade with a child.”

The Unseelie Princess yawned. “I didn’t care what age they were.”

“Do you know that contracts with minors aren’t considered binding without the approval of their legal guardian?”

“Those are Earth rules,” Mara replied. “Or, more specifically, the laws of your land. To my knowledge, there is no written law among the centaur, or their lands.”

Beth nodded. “That is technically true. If the Moon Tribe had such a law, would you have observed it?”

“But they didn’t.”

“Are there rules for dealing with a hostile witness?” Beth asked the Queen.

“We usually stab them until they answer questions,” Titania replied.

“Or rip them in half?” Beth stared directly at Mara as she said this.

“You’re lucky the Court protects you,” Mara hissed, showing her teeth. “Otherwise, I’d—”

“Do the Fae observe the laws of the lands they travel?” Beth asked.

“If said laws exist, then yes.” Mara sneered at Beth. “But only as a matter of courtesy. If said law violates Hospitality, then we have no use for it.”

The lawyer nodded. “A law that kept someone from providing a small token of greeting would be silly to me as well. If I wish to put out a bowl of milk for a visitor, that should be my right.”

Now the Unseelie Princess looked confused, clearly unsure of Beth’s angle. “We adhere to the old ways for a reason,” she said.

“Do you adhere to oaths?” Beth asked.

The Unseelie nodded. “We do. An oath is considered precious, and never to be offered lightly.”

“Tell me. If I wished to purchase the throne the Queen sits on, could you trade it to me?”

“It is not mine to give.”

“So you are unable to offer trade on things that do not belong to you.”

The Unseelie hissed in irritation. “Must I really restate the obvious?”

“Yes.” Beth folded her arms across her chest and puffed herself up. “Because I intend to bury you with the response.”

The Court cheered, booed, and otherwise did the same thing they always did. Beth felt at times that she was sitting in the center of a circus, only the whole audience was a bunch of monkeys shrieking for attention. As long as none of them started throwing poop, they were in good shape.

“That which does not belong to you cannot be traded.” Mara threw Beth a rude gesture. “Now let’s see you bury me, human.”

Beth smiled and took her time. In a regular courtroom, she could shuffle papers, or walk slowly to the bench. Here in the Fae Court, she could probably get by with some random dance moves for all they seemed to care, but she still wanted to be taken seriously.

“That which does not belong to you cannot be traded,” Beth repeated. “What was it that you said earlier? You were promised anything and so you took everything. Let’s pick the aforementioned child. Did you take their freedom?”

Mara shrugged. “Freedom is technically a social construct. You can only have true freedom in a lawless society where nobody imposes their will on others, implied or otherwise.”

Sensing a new angle, Beth pounced. “Which, according to you, the centaurs don’t have any laws. Therefore, they must be totally free.”

The Unseelie froze, sensing a trap. “Well…none that are written down. But they are a tribe, are they not? Surely they possess social contracts, otherwise they would fail to band together.”

Beth paused to figure out what to say next, but played it up as a deliberate attempt to build pressure. Mara stood defiantly, awaiting the next question or accusation.

“The accusation I am about to make relates to harm that was done to the Moon Tribe. Is there a technical definition for what the Fae consider harm?”

Mara grinned. “Your simple language is insufficient to qualify harm with mere words. But I will play your game. Harm is harm. When something is taken that doesn’t belong to you, that is harm. Violating Hospitality is harm.”

“What about taking that which does not belong to you?” asked Beth.

The audience booed. Mara sighed. “I see what this is. You want me to admit that we took them, which I do, because they TRADED THEIR LIVES!” Now the Unseelie looked indignant. “It is not MY fault that they gave everything to witness tricks that would fool a simpleton!”

Beth stuck a hand in her pocket and pulled out a piece of leather. It was cut from a quiver, the intricate stitching that ran down one side creating a circular pattern that reminded her of flowers.

“Do you know what this is?” she asked, holding it up for the Court to see.

“A piece of animal skin,” Mara replied.

“While true, I speak of the needlework.” Beth ran her thumb along the stitching itself. “This right here was taken from a quiver possessed by a young archer in the Moon Tribe. Upon examination, the loops and whorls seem to tell a story, but that's unimportant. What is important is that the stitch itself has been found throughout the Moon Tribe. It is extremely repellent against water and is miles ahead of any other leatherworking the village possesses.”

“A drunk brownie could produce better.” Mara grinned. “Your arts and crafts display fails to impress.”

Beth smiled sadly at the piece of fabric, milking the moment. “What I find interesting is that the archer who owned this piece has been using a bow for less than a year. The quiver was custom built for him. I have personally seen this stitch on several goods owned by the Moon Tribe, and it is clearly some of the finest work they have.” The lawyer looked up at Mara with cold eyes that allowed her hatred to show. “Not a single person in the tribe knows who did this stitchwork or where it came from.”

“And?”

“This is just an example. Already, the Moon Tribe is desperately coming to terms with the holes in their lives where loved ones used to live. Every day, they discover anew yet another thing that they have lost. Tell me, Mara. Who owns a memory?”

“Uh…” The Unseelie faltered, and several Fae in the boxes that Beth could see behind her visibly winced.

“Your Majesty.” Beth spun in place to look at Titania. “As a neutral party who understands the definition of harm, would altering someone’s memory against their will constitute as harm?”

“Potentially,” Titania said. “It depends on the circumstance.”

Mara hopped up and down angrily, sending ripples of shadow in every direction. “That was not harm!” she declared. “That was a kindness! We knew that the centaurs would miss their loved ones and did them a kindness!”

“False.” Beth did a dramatic turn toward Mara. “You didn’t just take memories of the people, Mara. You stole chunks of a tribe’s culture, its ingenuity! Did you know that centaur hold strongly to tradition? They value it more than gold, yet you took something which did not belong to those you abducted!”

“Objection!” Mara cried. “That’s a matter of opinion!”

“This is all the centaurs have left of a living, breathing, contributing member of the tribe!” Beth threw the scrap of leather on the ground. “We have masters with missing apprentices who no longer have time to teach their trade to someone else. We have families who cannot reconcile that extra bed in their home with what they remember, and mothers and fathers who can’t sleep at night because they cry and don’t know why. None of those people agreed to lose those things, Mara. You stole them! That! Is! Harm!”

“But the trade was fair!” Mara cried. “This was a kindness!”

“That which does not belong to you cannot be traded. Those memories didn’t belong to those you did commerce with, which means you stole them, you rancid, slimy, shadow-sucking bitch!”

Mara leapt at Beth with hands outstretched. Iron manacles appeared around her wrists, which yanked her to the ground so hard that her face slammed into the stone.

“No!” Mara cried out in frustration. “The trade was fair!”

“I didn’t come to argue the fairness of the trade,” Beth said, summoning her magic around her. The steam billowed out from around her feet and formed into an illusory bear trap centered on Mara. “I came to accuse you of harm. What say your brethren? Have I done enough to prove harm?”

She held her hands aloft and shook them. The Court shouted its approval, eager to see blood spilled. Beth actually did a victory lap around the edge and paused to high-five an elf with moose antlers. Turning back to look at Mara, held to the ground by chains and surrounded by a bear trap made of fog, Beth grinned.

“Grace? I need the scroll.”

The Arachne paused drawing her spider, then wiped her hands off on Death’s robe before pulling something out of her bag. It was a piece of paper, rolled up and tied with red silk.

“Your Majesty, I do have one final piece of evidence I need to present before getting an official verdict from the Court.”

“There’s more?” Mara gasped.

“Oh, yes.” Beth waited as Grace walked up to Titania and handed over the scroll. The Arachne did a little curtsy before returning to the table.

“What is this?” Titania asked.

“A written contract between the Caretaker and the chieftain of the Moon Tribe. I drafted it shortly after they were formed and underlined the relevant passages for you.” Beth stared hard at Mara. “For those of you curious about the passage, it states that the Moon Tribe will take care of the land and will be considered…”

“Part of the Radley household,” Titania finished.

“Is that written enough for you?” Beth asked Mara, then slammed the trap shut. The illusion itself was harmless, the fog dissipating in a puff, but the Unseelie still screamed. “Numerous members of the Fae Court snuck into our home without announcing themselves to those in charge, did unregulated trade with those we consider directly under our care, which is a direct violation of our current treaty, and then STOLE from the Moon Tribe before leaving.”

Mara screamed again, then tried to run, but the shackles held her tight to the ground. Titania studied the scroll in front of her, then looked up at Beth. The Court was screaming now. Most of it was directed at Mara.

“This was a violation of our treaty,” Titania said. “Why not simply start with this? The crime is egregious enough.”

Beth bowed her head respectfully at the Queen. “Your Majesty, I have a few reasons. My intent was to prove that harm was done to the Moon Tribe as I stated earlier. Violating the treaty is a serious matter, but I needed the Court to agree that taking those centaurs should never have happened so that it never happens again. I did also swear to bury Mara with her own words, and wanted the Fae to know that I am a woman of my word. I know this is an important value to your people.”

“Indeed,” Titania replied.

“Furthermore, I presented my argument in this manner because it was fun.” Beth waved at the Court, many of whom waved back and cheered for this statement. She didn’t say aloud that she wanted as many of them on her side for when Compensation was decided. If the Fae looked too closely at what they were about to demand…

“Is there something else?” Titania asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I was hoping I could delay for long enough that the Caretaker might arrive.” Beth stopped waving at the Court. “I firmly believe he should be here for part of this.”

“I see.” Titania folded up the scroll and sent it back to Grace, who caught it without looking. She was currently drawing a cartoon mustache on her jumping spider. The Queen of the Fae actually looked around like she expected Mike to step out of the crowd. When he didn’t, the Queen looked back at Beth.

“What Compensation does the Radley family demand?”

Beth opened her mouth to speak and was interrupted by thunder. Titania’s eyes flicked upward and a glimmer of a smile appeared on her face.

Overhead, through the hole in the dome-shaped coliseum, the sky had turned black. For a moment, she thought she heard the ringing of sleigh bells. Thunder pealed again and was followed by lightning that lit the sky. It struck at the opening of the Court, then passed through the center and struck the ground. Lightning struck three more times, and then something massive slid through the opening.

It was a dragon made of ice. The beast snorted and swam through the air around the interior of the Court, blasting its occupants with harmless smoke. A dragon made of fire followed next, roaring as it circled the arena. Smoke trailed behind it that turned into bats that fluttered and disappeared in the crowd.

The spectacle was completed when a dragon made of lightning made its appearance. Tiny orbs of ball lightning trailed behind it as all three dragons gradually descended. By the time they were near the ground, nobody was paying attention when several figures came down from above. Yuki came first, sliding on a path of ice that her dragon had left behind. Ratu was next, riding down on a ball of fire. Sulyvahn appeared next, riding on a spectral horse and spinning his head as if riding into battle.

Mike and Quetzalli came down together on a bolt of lightning, holding onto it as if it were a firefighter’s pole. Cecilia clung to Mike’s neck and floated as if she were a cloak. They all reached the ground together, the group staring defiantly at the crowd.

“What, no Cerberus?” Beth asked.

“They needed to return Santa’s sleigh,” Mike replied as the Arachne leapt away from the table and landed in front of him, her arms already wrapped around his legs. Beth saw Mike frown and wipe something away from his daughter’s eyes. When he looked up at the Court, she felt an ominous presence behind his gaze. His eyes met hers and she shivered. There was a strange heaviness behind those eyes, one that made her feel strangely afraid. He gave her a brief smile, then looked past her at the Fae Court, directing that heaviness in their direction.

He had made his entrance over the top on purpose. There was absolutely no way he planned on leaving without a dramatic exit.

She couldn’t wait to see it.

---

Mike surveyed the Fae Court, his eyes pausing to linger on Titania. The Queen of the Fae was motionless in this moment, her golden eyes blazing with barely restrained power.

No, it wasn't power that he saw. It was relief.

That was quite the entrance, she said in his mind. What will you do next?

Something unexpected, he replied, then felt the connection snap shut. Kneeling down, he picked up his daughter, her legs wrapping around his torso. He did his best to ignore the tear he had wiped from her cheek. Then again, it almost looked like fruit juice. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes."

"Did Aunt Beth take good care of you?"

The Arachne nodded, then pointed at the Fae Court. "Bad," she said.

"That's right, they have been bad." Mike turned toward the Queen. "Your Majesty, I greet you and the Seelie and Unseelie Court."

"We greet you, Caretaker." Titania raised an eyebrow, then sniffed the air. "Though that is not your only title, now, is it?"

Mike frowned and raised a hand to the cuirass he wore. The eye was currently shut, though the armor had created a scabbard on his back to hold Excalibur. He wouldn't win any points for fashion, but he hadn't come to impress anybody here.

"It is not," he replied. "I will now check in with my legal counsel regarding the state of my daughter's proceedings." He looked over his shoulder and saw a woman with blue skin positively fuming in the corner, shackled to the ground. "Though I'm guessing Beth is about done here."

Beth smirked at him. "I'm just about done, actually. With the Court's permission, I would like to take a break."

"No breaks!" shrieked the woman in the corner. A band of iron formed over her mouth. She screamed through her nostrils as steam rose up from her skin.

"Five minutes," Titania said.

"That should help." Mike waved the others over, and they formed a semi-circle. Yuki picked Grace up and held the child close to her chest as Quetzalli and Ratu joined them.

"Give me the short version," Mike said.

"Their accusation that Grace broke the Fae treaty has backfired," Beth replied. "Not only has she been acquitted, but we uncovered the plot that implicated her. I used this to successfully accuse members of the Court of breaking their treaty with us."

"What about the Moon Tribe?" Mike asked.

Beth smiled, but it was cold. "Built a metaphorical sledgehammer out of their own words and smashed their argument to pieces. The Accusator over there was the primary perpetrator. We were just about to discuss the conditions of Compensation when you dropped in with the others."

"I didn't know if this was going to be a rescue mission." Mike took a moment to fist bump Death, then signed Hello to Opal. "What is Compensation?"

"What we ask for," she replied. "In terms of punishment. But the Court has to agree to it, so we need to be careful what we ask for. We only get one-shot per crime, or whatever. The Queen is a neutral party so she gets no say."

"I see." Mike grinned. "I saw your notes and caught a glimpse of a section titled 'suggested punishments.' Are you planning to pull from that list?"

Beth nodded. "I am, with some modifications of my own. I've had some new ideas since then that I think the Court would go for."

"Great. I have one of my own, actually, and will speak up when necessary." Mike jerked his thumb at the Fae in irons. "What does an Accusator do?"

"Makes an accusation of a crime," Beth replied. "I was your family's Accusator."

"Interesting." Mike pulled out the slip of paper he had written on before leaving the house. "What are the odds you can make this happen?"

Beth opened the paper and laughed. "You wrote this in Sindarin. How?"

"Google translate. Figured we might have extra eyes on us."

"Honestly, we do." Beth's eyes scanned his message and her eyebrows threatened to crawl into her hair. "You've got to be shitting me."

"I shit you not. Can you make it happen?"

"I can ask," she replied. "The worst they can do is vaporize us, right?"

"No," both Mike and Titania said at the same time. He bit back the urge to jinx her and demand a Coke. They would absolutely take that too seriously, and he was already likely to piss her off in the very immediate future. He looked over at Grace. "If she's safe now, can she go home?"

Beth looked at Titania. "Grace's presence here is not required for the Compensation that the Radley family will demand."

Titania stood from her throne. "Many members of the Radley family have come to Court. Do they wish to stay?"

Mike looked at everyone, then at Beth. "I need to remain," he said.

"So does Death." Beth looked at the others. "Unless you want to stay, the rest of you can go home with Grace."

The others briefly exchanged words. In the end, only Cecilia remained, since she was also of the Fae.

Titania summoned a golden arch, and the others left through it. Grace waved goodbye to her father before passing through. Sulyvahn took a moment to kiss Beth’s hand before going home as well. Mike thought the dullahan might stay, but the longer he was around, the more likely Titania would notice that her declarations had broken.

"Tell Callisto I'll be home soon," Mike called, which got some angry muttering from the Court. It was very clear that some were not happy about what all had gone on here. He would have to ask Beth about that later.

Then again, they were going to be even less happy when he was done with them. The main reason he had sent Grace home was that he didn't want her to see what happened next.

Titania stood by her throne, but didn't sit. "In regards to the accusation that Gracelyn Radley violated the terms of the treaty between the Fae Court and the Radley family, the Court has found her innocent of these charges, as she participated in an act of self-preservation and was thus dismissed prior to this proclamation." The Queen stared hard at the Court. "I will, however, note that some members of the Court still wish to see punishment enacted on the child despite acknowledging the truth of the events that occurred and discovering that our own perpetrated the crime."

Uh oh, Mike thought. There was definitely some massive dissension in the Court, even when something was cut and dry. With a little bit of luck, that would be fixed soon enough.

"In regards to the accusation that the Court itself participated in actions that led up to the breaking of said treaty by a member of the Unseelie Court, the Fae Court finds itself guilty." Titania looked at Beth. "As a whole, the Court agrees that they overreacted to a prophecy, but also believe this failure is largely due to their nature. As a result, you should keep in mind that any Compensation you demand will be largely...ceremonial."

Mike nodded, understanding immediately what the Queen meant. They were accepting the guilt of their situation, and were expecting nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

“I see." Beth adjusted her dress and took a moment to regain her composure. Mike surveyed the stands and paused. Was that an entire family of Fae made out of elemental fire? In fact, the longer he looked, the more he realized that the Fae Court was not only bigger than it seemed, but there were entire fantastical factions throughout. Fae that were made of living cloth, those who were woven of leaves and grass, a family of shadows with crimson hearts that beat brightly in the center of their chests, a booth filled with unblinking eyes, and—

Cecilia nudged him with an elbow. “Don’t stare,” she whispered. “They don’t know you can see them yet.”

“Am I not supposed to?” he whispered back.

“Their glamour is no longer strong enough for your gaze,” she replied as she hugged his arm.

“Before I ask for Compensation, I would like to discuss my logic in doing so,” Beth began. “The actions of the Fae Court were brought on by fear, were they not? It has become very clear to me during this trial that many here do not agree with the way things have been, nor do they agree with the actions of the Queen. If my words are not true, please inform me now.”

Titania waved a hand, and the metal band over Mara’s mouth peeled away, taking skin with it. The Unseelie Princess spat on the ground.

“She can speak for them,” Titania replied. “Unless they would like to choose a different representative.”

There was a brief moment of argument, and the Court went silent, though it was clear they were shouting. Their movements blurred, and it became very clear that the Court itself was moving at a higher rate of speed.

“I thought it prudent to respect your time while they deliberate,” Titania said.

Mike nodded. After about ten minutes, the time streams realigned and Mara stood there with a dark look on her face. The skin around her mouth had mostly healed.

“They have decided to allow me the honor of speaking their will,” she spat. “The human speaks truthfully. The Seelie and Unseelie Court are in agreement that new leadership is required, though we disagree about who should assume that role.”

“Assume the role?” Mike asked, but Beth waved him off. Looking at Titania, he realized that they were only planning on usurping the Queen. He couldn’t help but grin.

“This whole situation could have been avoided through a proper conversation with the Caretaker and his family.” Beth gestured to Mike. “Your people have the ability to discern truth and would have learned that he had no machinations on the Court, nor did he desire any changes. Rather, he got pulled in, and now here we are.”

There were mumbles of assent, followed by chirps, bleats, and one guy near the opening up above was holding up a sign with a smiley face. Mike looked at Beth, then back again. Could she not see all of this? Or was she ignoring it?

“Since miscommunication is the key problem, the compensation we have requested is that the entire Fae Court take part in a tea ceremony.”

“A tea ceremony?” Mara looked dubious, her gaze flitting toward Death. “What kind of tea ceremony?”

“Death?” Beth smiled at the Grim Reaper, who moved to center stage.

“As you may know, I have grown quite fond of tea, and had a recent interest in tea ceremonies,” he began. “However, as an immortal, I believed that it was imperative that we have a special way to greet each other, and have written a book.” The Reaper stuck a hand inside his robe and pulled out the thin manual. “It is called Death’s Special Ceremony of Greeting for Immortals.”

“It is the Radley family’s belief that participating in this ceremony will help to strengthen bonds between the noble families of the Fae Courts,” Beth added. “Through participating in the ceremony, not only will you become closer as a family, but you will practice the art of showing respect, even when it might not be due.”

Mike raised a hand and got a nod of acknowledgement. “I will also add that this ceremony is intended for adults only,” he said, which got him a strange look from Beth. “In case there were any children at these proceedings.”

“Childlike the Fae may be, but none of them are children,” Titania replied. “In your world’s terminology, they are all considered adults or older.”

Mike turned back to Beth. “Continue.”

“So for proper Compensation, once these proceedings are finished, the Fae Court must complete one tea ceremony as it is outlined in here.” Beth pointed at the book. “It is the number one book in its category, which speaks to its quality.”

“One of your own actually participated in this ceremony with me,” Death added. “The Lady Nyx, also known as She Who Walks Stars, did so. She even accepted a copy of the book to keep. Though she voiced no complaints, I suspect that my cushions could have been more comfortable.”

Mara chewed on this offer for a moment, and Mike could see gossamer strands made of pure light that connected her to every member of the Court. When he looked even deeper, he saw that Titania had similar ones. It was clear the offer was being debated.

“You only have one copy of that book,” Mara finally replied, seeing a trap. “It would be a waste of the Court’s time for us to take turns reading it.”

“We’ve accounted for this,” Beth said. “On a pallet in a warehouse are over ten thousand copies. We didn’t want to carry them all here, and can give the Court their location so they can be retrieved.”

“I will add that some modifications must be made to the ceremony itself for these circumstances.” Death held up two fingers. “The host is supposed to provide music while the tea is steeping, and also everyone must agree on a tea. However, the host is the Court itself! With so many people in attendance, I worry that choosing either of those things would become a sticking point and cost time. If the Court is willing to save time, I would be happy to choose both the song and the tea.”

Mara’s face scrunched up as a bevy of information flowed to her from the Court. “How much tea will the Court have to drink?” she asked.

“A single pot can be shared between four individuals,” Death replied. “You drink after the greeting portion of the Ceremony. Therefore, one pot of tea for every four people. It’ll make sense once you read the instructions.”

“Actually,” Mike jumped in. “Would it be okay if the Queen was allowed to pick the tea? Since she is a neutral party, the Fae Court can trust that nothing we choose will bring harm to your people.”

Beth’s lip twitched and he could see a hint of exasperation in her features. The Court shifted into fast forward to deliberate again, then popped back out. Mara’s skin was completely healed now.

“So Compensation requires that we participate in Death’s Special Ceremony of Greeting for Immortals. You would pick the song, the Queen would pick the tea, and we must perform this ceremony to completion per the instructions inside this book with one pot per every four individuals?”

“Relatively speaking in regard to pot size,” Beth added. “I am aware some of you are larger or smaller than others, and do not want those of diminished stature to suffer.”

Mara scowled at that addition, then went back to the Fae Court hivemind. There was a lot of deliberation before the Unseelie let out a sigh.

“The Court has decided to honor your compromise. After this hearing is over, we will read Death’s Special Ceremony of Greeting for Immortals and shall complete the tea ceremony with the modification that Her Majesty chooses the tea and the Grim Reaper decides the music.”

“And thus it shall be done,” Titania declared, her eyes flashing.

“Wonderful.” Mike jogged up to the Queen. “In that case, I do have a suggestion in regards to the type of tea.” It had entered his mind the moment he had seen Beth’s plan to stick them with Death’s tea ceremony. He could only imagine how many names these assholes had. They were going to be performing this ceremony for decades, if not centuries.

But that wasn’t good enough for him. “Your Majesty, if at all possible, I possess an extremely rare herb that is manufactured exclusively by the Moon Tribe, to my knowledge. It would honor the Radley family greatly if you could incorporate this into the final blend.”

Titania narrowed her eyes. “As the neutral party, I will not choose anything that can cause harm to my people.”

“I understand, Your Majesty. Please keep in mind that this substance is water soluble and, to my knowledge, shouldn’t cause any physical harm. In fact, I have partaken of it myself and given it to others in the past.” Mike handed over the mandragora pollen, which he had rehomed in a dark leather pouch to hide its nature. When Titania peered inside, he briefly heard her laughter in his mind. “This is a gift, freely given. I don’t know how you will share it with the whole Court, that is all I possess.”

“I am the Queen of the Fae,” she replied. “Replicating your herbal blend is within my abilities.”

Mike jogged back over to where Beth stood, careful to keep his expression neutral. Based on the grin Beth was struggling to hide, she knew exactly what he had given to the Queen.

“In regards to Compensation for the Moon Tribe…” Mara paused as if struggling to breathe. “The Court itself has deemed the families involved with the abduction and enslavement of its people guilty of harm to the Moon Tribe and also the Radley alliance. What sort of Compensation shall be demanded?”

Beth held up a finger. “Now that depends,” she said. “What I want versus what I can have are likely completely different things. The Moon Tribe would like all of its people back, but I get the feeling that it won’t be that simple.”

“It will…not,” Mara admitted.

“Tell me. By my best guess, roughly thirty-five centaurs were taken.”

“Of the forty-three taken, only six remain,” Mara whispered.

The Court went silent as eyes turned on Mike. He didn’t even realize he had their attention, his gaze was for Mara alone.

“Only six?” he demanded. “Where are the rest?”

Mara shrunk in on herself. “Time is different here,” she said. “A lifetime of servitude may only be a few minutes in—”

Beth stepped between Mike and Mara and put her hand on his chest. Frowning, Mike looked down at her hand, then past her shoulder at Mara, who was only a few feet away from him now. When had he approached her?

“If you do something to her now, that’ll be it,” Beth told him. “They will see it as justice done and call it a day.”

“Who said I was going to do anything?”

“I have magic like yours,” she whispered. “I can see your soul, Mike. It got all sharp around the edges and was turning black.”

“It was?” Mike looked down at his hands. His wrath, temporarily withdrawn, revealed nothing to him.

“Let me do my job,” she hissed.

“Right.” Mike moved to stand between Death and Cecilia. He took the banshee’s hand and clung to it for support.

“Forty-three lives, thirty seven of them spent entirely.” Beth shook her head in disappointment. “I would ask you to put a price on those lives based on the words of your Accusator.”

Mara’s eyes gleamed. “You would allow us to decide?” she asked.

“Based on a statement you made to the Fae Courts earlier, yes.” Beth jabbed a finger at the Unseelie Princess. “You were prepared to make Grace live for eternity just to balance out the scales for your brother’s potential contributions over an equally eternal life. Based on my calculations, a human allowed to live for an eternity has a life with equal value to that of a Fae.”

That comment caused a stir. Mike tried to ignore the shouting from above, as it was very clear that several in attendance were not happy with this proclamation.

“Don’t be angry with me,” Beth said. “The Court’s Accusator set this definition, not me. So now that we’ve established that the life of a Fae is comparable to a human when given the same time scale, let’s take a closer look. You see, centaurs and humans have similar lifespans, which means they have fewer opportunities than the Fae do. In fact, I could argue that they have infinitely fewer opportunities than you do, which makes their lives all the more precious.”

“Now see here,” Mara argued.

“You told the Court earlier that minutes felt like a lifetime due to the sensitive nature of these crimes!” Beth shouted, stunning the crowd into silence. “The crime in question was a little girl protecting herself from an attacker, which I would argue is equally on par to a centaur child being abducted from their home by a member of the Court! Or a family forced to live on without a mother, father, or whoever else you took! How many minutes were these people in your possession, Mara? How many lifetimes did your people force them to endure?!?”

Mara tried to speak, but couldn’t. Mike was watching the threads attached to the woman with great interest. He could actually make out conflicting colors amongst the threads, and was starting to understand what some of them meant.

The Court was more than happy to agree with Beth. It wasn’t so much the argument that she was making, but the fact that she was likely to destroy a powerful Unseelie family with the Compensation demanded.

“In regards to the families involved, do they possess at least forty-three members?” Beth demanded.

“They do,” Titania admitted.

The lust for blood emanated from the Fae so hard that Mike could actually taste its coppery tang in his mouth. His cuirass briefly stirred, the eye opening for a moment to take the situation in. When the armor saw he wasn’t in danger, the god fell back asleep.

“The Accusator admitted it is within the Court’s power to keep Grace alive past her natural lifespan,” Beth continued. “As such, in Compensation, the Moon Tribe demands that their memories are restored and any surviving members be returned right away. The centaurs stolen were forced to give their time and no adequate gift was given in return. For every moment they were here, for every minute that felt like a lifetime, we demand an equal amount of time be paid to the Moon Tribe by those who perpetrated this crime.”

Titania tilted her head. “And what would you do with our time?” she asked.

“Return it to the survivors,” Beth replied, then looked in Mike’s direction. “And give the rest to Tinker Radley.”

Mike felt the air leave his lungs as he actually sagged in between Death and Cecilia, his legs suddenly numb. Had Beth really said what he thought she did?

“You wish Tinker Radley to be made younger?” Titania asked.

Beth shook her head. “We wish her to be given years of life to sustain the growth of her child until the baby can be safely born. Any extra years left over, well…” She looked around the room. “I don’t know, can you bottle it up?

“Tink,” Mike whispered, still stunned by what Beth had said. It had never once occurred to him that the solution could be found here at the trial. Certainly, it was a gift that would have demanded too high of a price if he had asked. But now?

The price had already been paid. He felt more than a little guilt over the relief he felt that someone else had already paid.

“The fate of Tinker Radley,” Cecilia whispered at his side, then looked at him. It looked like she wanted to say something, but a glance from the Queen shut her down.

“You want…the survivors and years of our lives?” Mara asked.

“If you try to argue that they aren’t equivalent, keep in mind that your kind live forever.” Beth narrowed her eyes and they pulsed with magic. “You took a hundred percent of what life they had remaining and I feel like we would be well within our rights to ask for the same. With that kind of math, thirty-seven of you would become slaves to the Moon Tribe for all eternity. I bet there are plenty here who would love to watch you and your family shovel centaur shit around with a spoon.”

At the mention of humiliating treatment, he could now sense mass approval from the Court. They would absolutely vote for this should it be asked.

“Then…why don’t you?” Mara looked like she was fighting to hold the words back.

“Because the Caretaker and his family do not seek to enslave members of the Court,” Beth continued. She gave Mike a questioning look, and he nodded. It looked like she was about to officially pop the question. “Instead, with the entire Court present, the Caretaker wishes to address the elephant in the room.”

Up above, somebody trumpeted. Mike had to squint to see a Fae with a large trunk and massive ears wearing a crown and a robe.

“Not you,” Beth corrected. “A metaphorical one.”

The Fae visibly deflated and sat back in their seat.

Mike continued. “As the Queen said earlier, the Court cannot be faulted for the way it is. It has become clear to us that the Fae Court is no longer being efficiently governed. What use to you is a Queen who cannot control her subjects?”

There was a brief moment of silence, followed by the crowd erupting. The sound was so loud that Beth covered her ears. Mike plugged his own, but they started ringing anyway. She had clearly struck a nerve.

He looked over at Titania, who was giving him an inscrutable look.

You play a dangerous game, Caretaker. It was hard to tell what the woman thought.

It’s for the best, he replied.

Titania raised a hand for silence, and the Court gave it to her.

“In exchange for a more lenient sentence on those who wronged the Moon Tribe, we would like to add an additional demand. The Caretaker has realized that the Court is a family, much like our own. Many years ago, that family was broken. In order to heal those wounds, we demand that the Queen pick a new King from one of those currently present.”

This time, it took several minutes before order was restored. Titania sat quietly in her throne, her hands steepled with a look of betrayal on her face. The Fae shouted down from above, and numerous members were already preening about and declaring their intent to become the new king.

It was something Mike had been thinking about ever since Nyx’s death. The Queen had essentially been a single parent to thousands of children for millennia with nobody to help her. As powerful as she was, loneliness was even more powerful. The Court was made of Seelie and Unseelie alike, diametrically opposed, yet in sync. It was much the same as Sulyvahn and Cecilia. Similar roles, but opposite.

The Fae Court had been built on a foundation of Law and Chaos, two opposites that shouldn’t work. However, when properly balanced, they did. Right now, the Court itself had become unbalanced by its lack of a king.

Mara twitched as the will of the Fae became known to her. Her dark eyes briefly became bloodshot before the vessels burst. Groaning, she turned bloody eyes toward Mike first, then Beth.

“In Compensation for harm done to the Moon Tribe, all survivors will be returned and all memories taken will also be restored,” she said. “The time they experienced here will be taken from the perpetrators of this crime and given to Tinker Radley first, restoring her youth until her child is able to be safely born. The rest will be safely stored and given to the Moon Tribe for whatever use it deems. As for the Queen, she shall pick a new King from one of those currently present.” Mara licked her lips. “However, the Court must agree that the King is suitable. Should you accept this alteration of terms, then the Compensation will be given.”

Beth looked at Mike. He nodded. “We do,” she said.

There was a tolling of a bell, and a powerful wind swept down from above as Titania’s eyes blazed with power. Mara visibly shriveled beneath it and stumbled to the ground, her hands still shackled. Mike moved toward the Unseelie Princess, his magic forming a barrier that prevented the wind from shoving him to the ground. Kneeling, he grabbed the princess by her hands and helped her back to her feet.

“What sort of trick have you played on the Court?” she demanded.

“The good kind,” he replied.

“Even now, you would show me kindness?”

“You hurt my family,” he said. “You hurt several families. You created pain that will last several lifetimes and stole away bright futures from the Moon Tribe. Punishing you and yours would be revenge. It would feel good at first, but the pain would linger once that joy had passed. But fixing the problem that caused it? That is true justice.” Once the Unseelie was on her feet, he brushed dirt away from her robes. “Do not mistake my actions for kindness. To punish you further would only be cruelty. This is just common courtesy.”

“You speak nonsense,” she whispered.

Mike chuckled. “We’re all mad here,” he replied, then turned to face the Court. Already, numerous Fae had scrambled down from the stands to form a ring around the edges of the Queen’s little island. Some were shouting to get Titania’s attention, while others were clearly playing hard to get. A few had either floated across the moat with an armed entourage, while others used the bridge.

Several of them were armed and already looking with disdain at the other suitors. This was perfect.

Beth gave Mike a look and signed something to him. Is this when we leave? she asked.

You can if you want to, he replied. I need to do something first.

The Fae Court was now openly shouting at the suitors. Clearly the Seelie didn’t want an Unseelie King, and vice versa. Other members of the Seelie didn’t want to see another family elevated over their own, nor did the Unseelie. Every suitor here would be considered insufficient by a majority of the Court, which meant deals would have to be made.

Mike wasn’t much for politics. He preferred to actually get things done. Taking a deep breath, he held it in, letting his magic permeate his lungs. The pressure built within until it felt like he may burst, but still he held it. When it felt like it may finally escape him, he released it.

“SILENCE,” he commanded, and sound itself was stolen from the Court. The Fae stared at him in awe as he moved toward center stage.

What are you doing? Beth signed.

He winked at her.

“I now address the Court as an ally to the Fae,” he began. “When my family demanded that the Queen wed, it was with the expectation that a suitable suitor would be provided. While I see many fine and noble Fae among you who have stepped forward, it has already become clear to me that the Court isn’t prepared to approve of any suitor that has come from within its ranks.”

Mara twitched at his side, her role as the Court’s spokesperson not yet over. “That is a matter for the Court to decide,” she said.

“No, it isn’t,” Mike replied. “The Queen herself will choose a King from those present, and then the Court must agree that the King is suitable. I think we could save quite a bit of time by having the Court choose right now who they think is suitable from the current field.”

More shouting and yelling, and throwing of objects. Mike gave the Fae several minutes to throw their equivalent of a tantrum, then turned toward Titania.

Or perhaps the Queen would like to choose first, he suggested.

Titania studied him for quite some time, then allowed her golden gaze to lift to her children fighting up above. When her eyes met his once again, her brow was arched.

Do you think you can keep up with me? she asked.

You did say I would make a good consort, if the court allowed it.

And you think they will?

Mike smirked. You won’t know until you try.

Titania stood, and the realm trembled. She stepped forward from her throne, the ground lighting up with magic upon contact with her feet. The Fae went quiet as she took a moment to inspect every potential suitor that had come down to present themselves. Unseelie and Seelie alike puffed themselves up pretentiously, some even trying to shove others out of the way to keep Titania from gazing upon them for too long. Eventually, the Queen had turned full circle before settling her gaze on Mike.

“I choose this one,” she said.

At least thirty different visions of his own demise triggered. Fae, who had been waiting to assassinate political rivals, immediately turned their attention on Mike. Seeing these deaths laid out in succession, Mike casually stepped back to avoid a twenty-foot-long sword blade that pierced the earth where he had stood. Cocking his head to the left allowed an arrow to pass harmlessly by. Lightning bent and curved around him as his magic bent it to his will. Fire licked at his skin, but could not claim any part of him. He allowed ice magic to strike his armor, where the god inside shrugged it off. The eye popped open, suddenly eager for combat.

Six of the suitors launched themselves forward, their forms a blur as they attacked all at once. Their bodies became flower petals that bounced harmlessly off of him, transformed by the magic of the Queen of the Fae.

“We just had a trial about this behavior,” she declared, gazing angrily upon the stands. “If the Court does not approve, then explain your reasoning.”

“We don’t have to,” someone replied. “He is unsuitable!”

“Based on what metric?” This came from Beth, who gave Mike a slightly dirty look. You’ve really done it now, she signed.

They started it, he replied.

“Yes, by what metric?” Titania threw her shoulders back imperiously. “You must keep in mind that whatever metric you set for him, others must pass. So explain very carefully to me why he is ineligible.”

“I don’t like him!” shouted someone near the top of the stands.

“Speak through your mouthpiece.” Titania looked at Mara. The Unseelie Princess looked like she was going to be sick.

“The Court has decided that they don’t like him,” she replied.

“Then please ask the Court to pick someone that is not disliked by anyone,” Beth replied.

“I cannot pick a King based on the Court liking him,” Titania added. “In fact, there will be times where the monarchy and the Court are at odds.”

“If the Court can present a potential suitor matching the qualification of being liked by everyone, they must do so now.” Beth moved to stand next to Titania. When the Queen looked at her, the attorney shrugged. “I’m a neutral party in this,” she added. “Figured I would represent you.”

There was much muttering and mumbling from the crowd. Eventually, Mara spoke.

“There are none here who match that qualification,” she admitted.

“The Compensation required by the Radley family states I must choose a suitor from those present,” the Queen said.

“Therefore, the Court is in violation of Compensation.” Beth waved at everyone so they would look in her direction. “Suitability based on being liked by everyone in attendance is therefore denied. Please voice further objections through your mouthpiece.”

“He is not a noble,” Mara hissed. “Only a member of nobility can become King.”

“He’s married to a princess,” Beth said. “Also, titles of nobility were typically given to land owners. I would argue he owns more land than anybody in attendance, should you wish to argue this even further.”

The hivemind above stirred. It was clear they were trying to come up with some reason to disqualify Mike entirely that didn’t cull one of their own.

“He’s human,” Mara said.

“Not really,” Beth countered.

“He isn’t Fae.”

“His magic is,” Beth replied. “And he is more magic than man at this point.”

“Also,” Mike added. “One of your own regards me as his brother. The feeling is mutual.”

Beth smiled at that. “How is Sulyvahn these days?”

“Doing better,” Mike replied.

“The Caretaker can’t live forever.” Mara squirmed as several messages were funneled through her at once. “He isn’t immortal.”

“The Court has powers to make him immortal if needed,” Beth replied. Mike was careful to keep his face neutral with this. He didn’t want the burden of immortality tossed onto him. He had far different plans.

“He’s capable of dying.”

“Everything dies eventually.” Death shook his head. “I should consider writing a book about it, since so many of you keep forgetting. Maybe it should be a coloring book to hold your attention.”

Finally, a well-dressed Fae noble stepped forward, a snarl fixed on his face. “He is too young,” he stated. “I would argue that the one the Queen chooses must be at least a thousand years old.”

Here, Beth stalled. She turned to Mike with an eyebrow raised.

“Yes,” Mara gasped, clearly exhausted. “What he said.”

Mike chuckled. “While this body is young, my soul is far older.”

The Fae scoffed. “Prove it.”

Mike smiled at everyone, then showed them. He opened his soul up for those with the power to see its true depth and complexity. Every human soul had the potential to exist for eternity, that much was true. But his had already spent an eternity trapped in a tryst with Titania in the Dreamscape.

His soul was like a candle with the Court itself as a cradle. Light streamed freely from him, banishing shadows. When he felt like the Court had had enough, he closed his soul away once more and smirked.

“I showed you mine,” he said. “Now show me yours.”

The noble backed away, and the Court fell silent. Mike turned to look at Mara.

“Well?” he asked.

The Unseelie Princess studied him, her features strained. Streams of light filtered along the magical connection that she held with the Court, but they were fading fast. Finally, a grin broke out on her face.

“You may be a noble, and somehow possess a soul older than the universe, but you are not a king,” she growled. “For there are already kings among us. The king of the silver river, the king of all that grows, the king of the sky. We have many kings among us, Caretaker, but you are not one of them.”

He had honestly expected this argument first. “But I am,” he replied.

“By whose authority?” Mara demanded.

“Yours.” Mike reached over his shoulder and pulled Excalibur from its sheath. Back in Avalon, and even on Earth, it was an otherwise unremarkable blade. However, here in the realm of the Fae, it glowed from within with a silvery light.

“Impossible,” Mara gasped.

“Unexpected,” Mike corrected. He soaked up the moment with Excalibur held aloft, then walked over to the shattered throne of the Fae King. “You see before you the blade Excalibur, created by the Fae to help regain a foothold in the world of man. The blade found me worthy to be king, so why not you? Your kind has lived long enough to know that the right solutions are not always the ones you like. So let’s play a game. I’m very well known for them.”

The Caretaker slammed the sword through the shattered throne, sliding it into the stone until only the hilt was present. “I have come from the sky wearing the skin of a god on my back. I have fought mortals and immortals alike, and always come out on top. I have proven my worth to your people, but still you demand more. Therefore, let he who would be worthy of being called King of the Fae pull this sword from the stone.”

Mike stepped back as the nobility rushed forward in a desperate bid to prove themselves at least as worthy as he. Mike moved to stand next to Beth, who stared at him with her jaw hanging open.

“Is that seriously Excalibur?”

“Yep.”

“Did you plan that speech?”

He nodded. “On the way here.”

Beth looked over at the king’s throne, where a six-armed Fae was frantically pulling at the hilt. “What happens if one of them pulls it?”

“No idea,” he replied. “We’ll probably be in big trouble.”

It became clear early on that the blade would not budge. After all, it had been forged for a worthy mortal, and none of the Fae qualified as such. Eventually, a rumbling ascent built among the crowd as the last few nobles tried to withdraw Excalibur together. When they couldn’t, they moved back to their box and glared at him.

“Any other qualifications?” he asked.

Mara cleared her throat. “You cannot marry our Queen without a suitable dowry.”

“That’s fair,” he said. “I’ll give you Avalon.”

Sharp inhalations filled the air as muttering began anew. During these susurrations, Mara spoke.

“By what right do you own Avalon?” she asked.

“Right of conquest,” Mike replied. “I took it from the guy who took it from you.”

“The ladies of the lake claim that you had an agreement to give it back to them,” she added.

“And I am,” he replied. “As a dowry. The lady Nyx violated the agreement we had regarding Avalon by interfering in the plan to retake it. She was killed by a vampyr named Vincentius.” He gazed up at a booth that had women who looked similar in appearance to Nyx. “For what it is worth, I took his head, and then his kingdom.”

The Fae stared back, but their gaze was inscrutable.

Mike turned to address the Court. “I would rather give Avalon back to the Fae as a gift, but since you demanded a dowry, I believe that Avalon shall suffice.” Mike narrowed his eyes. “I would be giving valued property that is not currently owned by the Fae to the Court. Can any of you do the same?”

This put any remaining contenders between a rock and a hard place. There was much debate, but none of it funneled through Mara. When she spoke, it was clear that the Unseelie didn’t want to.

“And what…of…the marriage itself?” she asked. “It isn’t a…real marriage, unless…”

“Oh, I plan on consummating the marriage right here and now in front of all of you as witnesses.”

Beth started coughing, clearly having choked on her own spit.

Titania frowned. “Surely you would not seek to humiliate me in such a manner,” she said. In his mind, though, he heard her laughing. Touching that mental link between them, he heard her voice.

This will humiliate them more than anything else, she said. Forced to watch while you fuck their Queen.

They’d better be quiet while I do, Mike replied. Otherwise, I won’t take them out for ice cream.

“It is the will of the Court,” Mike replied out loud. “Well…unless they have come up with a reason why I am not…suitable.”

Mara chuckled softly, then shook her head. “They cannot,” she replied. “The Seelie and Unseelie are slow to compromise, and this is simply too much.” The Unseelie Princess sank to her knees.

“So are you saying that…Mike is suitable?” Beth asked.

Mara nodded. “Technically speaking? Yes.”

Death raised his hand. “If somebody would bring me those books, I’d be happy to autograph them and pass them out while Mike Radley and the Queen consummate their marriage. It’s really not that interesting to watch.”

The Queen snapped her fingers and a pair of pallets appeared, each of them stacked high with the thin manuals.

“Lovely,” said Death as he pulled a Sharpie out from his robes. “I am willing to personalize these,” he said as he moved toward the crowd, but all eyes were on the Queen. Beth sighed and moved toward the pallets, either eager to help or to do something else.

“Look at you,” Titania said. “The mortal who would be King.”

“I didn’t want the job,” he said. “But your people needed something to change, and I didn’t trust what they may already have planned.” His thoughts went back to Nyx and he sent his thoughts to Titania. You know I can’t always be here, right?

The Queen smiled. A portion of your soul to run a simulacrum in your absence. Such a feat will require much of the divinity you have gathered, though.

I don’t want it, he replied. A gift for my Queen, freely given.

As I give my body freely to you, she replied, then stepped before him. Her gown transformed, and he found himself looking at a dress made of starlight. Shall I alter my height to suit yours, husband?

“Don’t,” he said aloud. “You’re perfect the way you already are.”

Titania smiled and touched his face. “It has been many lifetimes since anyone spoke those words to me and meant it.” She turned her face toward the onlookers. The Fae Court looked relatively miserable. I suspect we will have opportunities for far more tender moments in the future, but I believe this may be the opportunity to teach them a proper lesson.

That if you mess with the Caretaker’s family, he might fuck your mother and make you watch? Mike laughed. Back home, we call that a pro-gamer move.

Let us teach them a lesson together, she replied, then knelt before him, all four hands sliding down his cuirass and settling on the waist of his pants. The skin of a god. Fascinating.

Should I take it off?

Leave it on, Titania replied. It makes you look rather dashing. The Queen of the Fae pulled out his cock and stroked it with all four hands while staring into his eyes. The crowd was clearly disgruntled, but could do nothing but watch.

Titania teased him with her hands, then opened her mouth wide for him. “Fuck my mouth, Your Majesty,” she said. Be rough about it, she added. You are incapable of hurting me.

Mike grabbed her by the hair and shoved his dick in her mouth. He ignored the furious shouts from above as he face-fucked Titania so hard that she started to fall over backward. Her laughter and delight filled the back of his mind as he drove himself ever deeper, attempting to bottom out in her mouth.

The Queen put on a show. She choked on him, gasping desperately for air between strokes. He would pull his cock out on occasion and slap it against her forehead, making sure to make direct eye contact with other members of the Fae before sliding it back in.

Reggie was right, he thought. It is good to be the King.

His magic swirled around them, forming into golden motes of light that hovered nearby. Titania let him fuck her mouth a bit longer, than wrapped two arms around his waist and held him tight. One hand moved to play with his scrotum while the other moved behind him and traced circles on his ass.

If you would allow me, she said. I would like to combine my magic with yours.

As you wish, he replied.

Titania ran her hand along the crease of his ass, her long fingers finding his asshole. Mike groaned as she slid a finger inside of him, her finger sliding up to touch his prostate from within.

There was a surge of warmth through her finger, and Mike’s whole body tensed up as the motes of golden light slammed into his core. Roaring, he held Titania by her ears as he came inside her mouth in such a quantity that a bunch of it squirted out her nostrils. The Queen made a gurgling sound as he continued to fill her throat, his magic transforming into come.

Mike was gasping for air when Titania finally slid her finger free. She fell backward on her butt, her face and torso covered with jizz and her belly swollen. Stunned, he stared at her stomach.

There’s no way I came that much, he thought at her.

Of course not, Titania replied. But they don’t know that. The Queen of the Fae rolled over and started crawling away from him, her shapely ass now up in the air. Now take me from behind. Make them regret asking for this.

Not one to ignore a royal command, Mike stomped after her, making a show of grabbing at her ankles. The Queen begged her King for mercy, for time to recover her wits. When Mike got ahold of the fabric around her hips, it tore like tissue paper, revealing multiple labia folded together like rose petals. There was no pubic hair to be seen, which matched up with what he remembered from their tryst in the Dreamscape.

He buried his face in between her legs, his tongue running along those silky, rose-like folds. Thin nubs stuck up between them, each one like a tiny clitoris as Titania cried out. Mike sent his magic into her and across her body, doing whatever he could to heighten the experience for her.

“My King, no! Not in front of them!” Titania moaned as a tiny orgasm shook her body. The ground around them erupted with green grass and flowers that tinkled like bells when they shook. Hummingbirds made of light fluttered about, pausing to inspect Mike before flying away.

Between his legs, Titania was using her feet to jerk him off. He couldn’t quite figure out how she was using her toes in such a manner that it felt like multiple mouths were kissing his shaft, and decided that half the fun was not knowing.

You’re so hard, she said. Is that your magic?

Partially, he admitted. You’re also very beautiful.

Am I the most beautiful of your women? she asked.

Frowning, he pulled his mouth away from her labia and slapped her on the ass. It’s not a competition, he told her.

But if it was, would I win?

He slapped her ass again, and Titania moaned. Pull my hair from behind when you enter me, she commanded.

I can do better than that, he replied, grabbing ahold of her wings instead. Made of light, they reminded him of a dragonfly’s. He received a small shock when he grabbed them, then let his cock rest against the curve of Titania’s ass as he got ready to penetrate her from behind. Mike paused for just a moment when he realized that the Queen had crawled over to the shattered throne of the Fae King.

Titania grabbed onto the hilt of Excalibur as if to pull it free. Mike yanked on her wings and slid into her from behind.

There was a wave of golden light that rippled out from both of them. It felt like he was floating, or maybe his soul had partially left his body, he wasn’t quite sure. Either way, he held on for dear life and fucked the Queen from behind, her starlight gown tearing further to reveal pendulous breasts that swung beneath her.

“My King!” she cried. “Fuck me harder, Your Majesty!”

He pumped himself into her, his magic forming into ribbons that wrapped around Titania’s body, effectively pinning her to the shattered throne. Mike took a moment to glare at the members of the Fae Court who were now staring in rapt attention.

He briefly locked eyes with Beth. The lawyer was staring at him hard, her face flushed with arousal.

The woman signed Make her scream. Smiling, Mike took her suggestion under advisement and sent his magic inside of the Queen.

Titania screamed, her eyes rolling up in her head as she came against Excalibur on the shattered throne of the former King. Some of the Fae looked away in disgust, or maybe horror. Others bowed their heads in deference.

“You’ve stopped passing out books, Accusator Bethany.” Death sounded a little indignant.

“Yeah, yeah,” Beth muttered as she moved to hand out the books she still carried. Opal stood behind her with the pallet, wearing a pair of gloves to hand out her own books. The Fae Court was actually rearranging itself to allow the group to distribute the copies, which also allowed everyone a closer look of their Queen getting her back blown out.

The magical feedback system built between them. Pure golden light danced between them now, and Mike yanked on her wings hard enough that she was practically upright now, hugging Excalibur between her breasts.

“Come in me, Caretaker!” The Queen was drooling now, coating Excalibur with her spit. “Come in me forever!”

Hopefully not forever, he thought, making sure to let his magic know that no soul exchange was to occur. There was no god lingering nearby who could help him, and he doubted the armor god cared at all.

He and Titania eventually came at the same time, and their combined magic formed a golden blast of lightning that stretched up into the sky. In that moment, he felt his mind touch the true alien nature of eternity and chaos, and what it truly meant to be Fae. Unable to comprehend its depth, he could only sit back and enjoy the ride as if riding a comet through the cosmos.

Titania reached back between her legs and grabbed his balls, her magic reigniting his own. The feedback cycle resumed, but instead of kicking it back and forth, he would simply exchange his magic for hers, and then it would cycle back. They both came at the same time, over and over again. Mike could only hold onto her wings at this point, his cock staying inside of her based upon muscle memory alone. Titania made a huge show of it, gasping and screaming for mercy.

As if it had been planned from the beginning, the magic vanished just as Death handed out the last copy of his book. Mike let go of Titania’s wings and immediately slipped and fell in a puddle of his own cum. His legs were practically numb as Opal and Beth came over to help him up.

Titania didn’t move. Her legs were still spread, Mike’s cum leaking free to further coat the shattered throne of her former husband. It clearly wasn’t just a statement she was making to her people. If the ghost of her late husband somehow lingered nearby, the message to him was clear.

I’m fine, my King. Titania’s voice was gentle. Take the sword and go, she said. King or not, the Court will be quite cross with your family when they learn the truth about this tea party they’re about to partake in. Even less so when they’re forced to drink your special herbal blend.

Mike carefully stepped over the Queen and yanked Excalibur out of the broken throne. He moved away from her and felt the air shift behind them as a golden arch appeared. The Caretaker grinned in spite of himself, as he wasn’t sure if Titania had summoned it or he had.

“I have your pants, Mike Radley.” Death was holding the garment in his arms. “Though you are quite wet and might need a towel first.”

“It’ll be fine,” he said, allowing Opal to help him get dressed. The slimegirl was already eagerly sucking the fluids off of his legs. “Naia can clean me up once we get back. As for you lot…” Mike took a moment to survey the Court. “Is that consummated enough for you?”

“Don’t piss them off,” Beth whispered in his ear.

“You kids be good. You don’t have to call me Daddy,” he called out to them. “But you will obey your Mother or there will be Hell to pay.”

With that, he let Beth help him spin on his heels and march toward the golden archway. It was time to go home, to see and be with his family.

To be with Tink.