Chapter 160. Admission & Depression

I just stared at Nemuri for a bit in silence, before looking down at the girls that wanted to be with me even in their sleep. I sighed a bit before looking back up at Nemuri, she was on guard, but I knew she trusted me somewhat. “I have always been me.” Nemuri frowned and took out her whip from seemingly nowhere. I tried to put my hands up in surrender, but they were held down by Himiko and Toru. I gulped a bit, now that I was acknowledging how close these girls were to me right now.

I shook away my thoughts and looked back at Nemuri. She did not seem happy, in fact I think this is the most mad I’ve ever seen her. I sighed again and thought about who I was, and if I was ready to come clean. “I am…" I took a deep breath to think about if I was really going to say it. I looked down at the girls, and sighed while feeling that I couldn't keep this from them much longer. " I am... Another being that lives together with Denki.” I sighed from how much that I was hiding from the girls I loved, and how I was still hiding it from them. I looked back over to see Nemuri who was gazing into my eyes to check for any deception.

When she realized I was telling the truth she sighed while lowering her whip. "What quirk does that...?" She asked with some hesitation. I scoffed and shook my head. "I don't know... It's not like I had a quirk to begin with... We just woke up one morning like this..." I sighed as I was just thinking whether I should have told Nemuri. “Then what was that?” She asked as I nodded in understanding, and frowned at the loss of my friend. I wanted to believe that his mother was right, but I could only feel Denki slightly right now. “We just learned that he killed Denki’s parents.” I could hear Nemuri gasp a bit while I kept talking. “Now he’s gone… I can hardly feel him now.” I grabbed my chest, searching for the feeling of Denki, but I could only feel a trace of him.

All was silent while Nemuri was processing all of this. “Who is the main personality?” “I am… I just found myself with Denki the summer before school started… He didn’t really want to be the main personality… But now I don’t know if he even wants to live… I’ve never seen him like this…” I sighed again while holding my head in my hands. Nemuri was silent for a bit before she asked me another question. “All of the personal information that you’ve talked about, was that Denki’s or yours?”

I never looked up, but just answered with my head resting in my palms. “Mine… Denki never talked that much about personal things… We mostly communicated with emotions…” I looked over at the sleeping girls and gained a small smile just seeing them at peace right now. I wanted to pet their heads, but my arms were still being tightly held by Himiko and Toru. My thoughts were broken from what Nemuri asked me next.

“What’s your name?” I froze for a bit, just thinking that I would be giving away my real name, one that I wasn’t even 100% sure that Denki knew. I looked at Nemuri and saw her eyes filled with determination to see this through. I took a breath to help steady myself a bit before speaking. “Calvin… My name is Calvin.” Nemuri nodded slowly as she kept staring at me.

We just sat in silence for a bit again. I was just lost in thought of how I would tell this to the girls. Nemuri then asked me a question that confused me a little. “How old are you?” I looked up at Nemuri with a little surprise from the seemingly random question, but the seriousness in her eyes made me realize that it was a very important topic. I bit my lip a little from anxiety of what she might think of me. I felt a little ill just thinking about how wrong this would seem if I was in my old body.

I sighed and put my hands into fists while quietly admitting my age. “I was 20 years old…” Nemuri was quiet for a bit while I was silently panicking about what she was thinking about. She suddenly got up from her chair, causing me to snap my head to look at what she was doing. She started to leave for the other room for one of the smaller beds for her to sleep in. “Get some proper rest…” Was all she said to me as she closed the connecting door between rooms.

I fell back down on the bed from exhaustion, but I couldn’t sleep. I still had to reach out for Denki. I took a deep breath and focused on feeling for Denki. It was faint, but I could just barely sense him. I slowly began to fade off while focusing on that feeling, and found myself in the void once again.

As I looked around I could see the void was shifting. It turned from just a black void of abyss, into a bright sunny day. As I looked at the bright sky, I noticed from the corner of my vision that trees had grown where I wasn’t looking. I lowered my gaze to see a beautiful lake that was encompassed by a variety of lush green trees. It seemed to be a mid-summer day as I could hear cicadas buzzing off in the distance, and the warmth of the sun blanketed my body, and shone on the lake.

I was standing on the bank of the lake and noticed an empty dock nearby. Looking closer at the dock, I noticed there was a yellow haired boy sitting by the edge with his legs hanging over the crystal clear water. I took off as fast as I could towards the dock and ran to be by his side. Halfway down the dock I slowed my pace, and walked the rest of the way towards him.

After making it beside Denki, I sat down on the edge of the dock beside him. I never looked at him as we just sat in silence together. After a bit of time Denki finally started to talk. “My parents used to take me here for summer vacations…” I nodded while looking at the mystical and magnificent view. “My mom would always drag us out here to get some fresh air… Said that we had to have fun experiences to truly live… Dad was always a little hesitant to leave civilization, but he never could go against one of mom's requests…”

I hear how his voice sounded like he gained a small smile while remembering the days he spent here. “We would make the long drive out here… The road trips were always fun… Dad would drive while mom would always play with her guitar, having all of us sing to pass the time… Getting out here we would set up camp and play out on the water… Once the sun set we would start a fire and we would all roast smores…” Denki stopped talking for a bit and I could feel happiness but also grief.

I put my hand on his back and patted it a bit to try and calm him down. I heard him sniffle before continuing on. “I loved it here… I have so many great memories here… I was about to just stay here before you came along… I would just be here, and leave some other part of me that didn’t have the pain to take my place… But then you came along… You were almost in as much pain as I was… I couldn’t leave you like that without a way to remove it like I wanted to… So I stayed… I wanted to help you as best I could…”

I patted him with a small smile on my face. “Thank you…” Was all I could choke out at the moment, but I knew he could feel my gratitude. He let out a weak chuckle before continuing on. “But now that you have a lot of things settled… I want to just stay here now… Just be with my parents…” I gripped onto his shirt subconsciously when I heard him say that. I didn’t want him to go. This was his life that I took over, and he wanted it to be over.

“Please don't say that…” I said while biting my quivering lip. I gripped his shirt tighter as I started to speak with a quivering tone. “Denki… You’ve still had good times after I’ve been with you… There is more to life than your parents… I miss my parents every day too, but I still want to live my life… I love all of the girls, and I know you care about them too… You have so much to live for, and have people that still need you… Leaving like this might bring you back to your parents, but it will take away everything else you have here with us… I love my parents, and I always want to see them again, but I don’t want to lose the loves of my life… Please… Reconsider…”

I kept gripping his shirt tightly to not lose him as he thought about what I said. We sat on the dock for a while in silence as I refused to give an inch on my grip. I didn’t want to feel like I was losing him again. Then all of a sudden Denki started to stand up. I stood up along with him, while keeping my firm grip on his shirt. Denki never looked up at me, but slowly gave me a hug with a small smile on his face that I could see wasn’t covered by his bangs. I returned the hug and smiled while tears started to fall in happiness and relief. “Thank you…” Was all I heard as I started to get pulled out of this dreamscape.