Chapter 147. First Relationship
Midnight drove in silence for a bit, before asking me more. “You never told me what makes you different from those guys.” I sighed a bit to calm myself down before continuing our conversation. “I don’t know, maybe because my parents actually taught me values?” Midnight seemed to perk up a little bit at hearing my parents. “Well, I think every parent teaches their kids values of some kind, those boys probably were taught bad values.” I sighed at how she might be right.
“I guess my mom taught me most when it came to being in healthy relationships.” Midnight perked up again while her eyes never left the road. “Your mom must have been wise for you to be able to balance all of those girls.” Midnight chuckled a bit at the end of her sentence. I chuckled a bit from embarrassment and scratched the back of my head. “She was… My mom was a couples counselor, and psychiatrist. She was mostly the first one, but dabbled a bit on the second.”
I watched the cars surrounding us as we were making our way to the Airport. Midnight nodded for a bit before continuing on. “A lot must have rubbed off on you.” She smirked at me and I blushed in response. Midnight’s smile grew more sinister for a moment before looking back at the road. “Well I had to ask her a lot after I got my first girlfriend.” It was then that I heard rustling from behind me. I looked to see some of my wrappers had been moved from the breeze. I looked back at the road, unknowing of the strained ears listening in. “You had a girlfriend before?” Midnight seemed to be filled with disbelief.
I chuckled a bit while thinking back to her. “Yea… Things started out great… But after a while we always got into fights about me being unfaithful.” I chuckled a bit while glancing back. “I guess she had a point…” Midnight didn’t laugh, but just ushered me to go on. “She kept talking about how I looked at other girls the same as her… So she made me stay away from as many girls as she could… I loved her though, so I did… But then we would still fight about the little interactions I would still have with any other girls… It got to the point where I couldn’t say ‘thank you’ to any other girls…”
Midnight pursed her lips while furrowing her eyebrows but never said a word as I continued on with my first and last girlfriend in my last life. “I always thought you always just had to do what the other person wanted to make a relationship work… I mean, if I did all that she wanted, then I must get some things I want… But it never happened… I kept losing more of my female friends… I wanted to go on my own, solve my own problems, and fix my own relationship without my mom's help. But after I lost another one of my close female friends I had to ask what I was doing wrong…” I kept staring at traffic go by, while thinking of my past relationship.
“When my mom heard… She was mad to say the least…” I chuckled a bit thinking of ‘angry mama bear’ as dad liked to call it. “It took less than a week to send my old girlfriend away… My mom pulled everything she had to make her leave… But I was confused… I knew that my girlfriend loved me… But that didn’t mean that the relationship was good. I was still confused at that lesson, so my mom decided to teach me about healthy relationships… So I studied with my mom… I wanted love, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for it… So I kept studying to make sure that I could hopefully get into a good healthy relationship that could last forever…”
I chuckled a bit, now that I was in a relationship that was, by society's definition, unhealthy. “But then I fell in love anyway. I fell in love wrongly…And then I fell in love wrongly again… And I kept falling in love wrongly… I want to make sure this lasts, but I’m afraid that I’m the unhealthy one… The one that is the cause of pain with who I am and how I act… I don’t have my mom to tell me, so I just have to rely on my own judgement now…..”
At this point I was thinking that maybe it would be best to just let all of these girls go. I was clearly making them all have to deal with a boyfriend cheating on them with each other. I was never really worthy of any of these girls who treated me this well. ‘They say that it was their choice whether to love me or not, but it was the same choice I had back then. I never made the right one though… It took my mom teaching me what was right.’ I then had a thought. “Midnight?” I looked over at Midnight who seemed to be wiping the sleep from her eyes. “Do you think our relationship is really healthy… Or are we just lying to ourselves…?”
“Stop it!” I quickly looked back to see all of the girls staring at me with saddened expressions. I looked at all of the girls unbelievably. Momo then stood forward with a frown. The last time I saw that was when she found out about my arm. She walked over to me and just stood in front of me. Her eyes were cloudy and her lips were trembling. She then slapped me across my cheek.
While I was in shock of what she was doing she looked at me with her angered expression. “You… You can’t learn… All of us follow your rules for love don’t we!? We all make sure to do our best for each other! We work for each other! Support each other! Love each other! But you never learn! You never learn that you are a good boyfriend…” It was at this point that Momo hugged me and placed her head in the crook of my neck. “You never believe in yourself, and now I think I can understand why… But this is different. We are all different from her…”
She then let go and placed my head back into her chest to help comfort me. “We all love you, and are happy. Isn't that enough to know? Are you not happy?” I fervently spoke. “No, absolutely not! This has been the happiest I’ve been!” She then pets my hair and continues in a calmer tone. “Then the relationship is healthy. As long as we are all happy then the relationship can’t be bad, can it?” I said nothing, but just embraced Momo closer to me as she kept petting my hair.